


Guilt Management

by sfscarlet



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, Pain Management, Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1751378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sfscarlet/pseuds/sfscarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the way home from Comic-Con, something disturbing occurs, which causes everyone to revisit their past.  Sequel to Pain Management</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Car Ride Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Pain Management. You will understand this story better if you read it first. Discussion of unsafe sex

I’m beat,” Michael sighed as he yawned.

“Me, too. Who would have thought that signing autographs and sitting at a convention with a bunch of comic book geeks would be so tiring? I’ll take an all-nighter painting any day,” Justin admitted as he opened his mouth for a full yawn.

“Why Justin, you’re one of the comic book geeks,” Brian teased as he pulled him in by his shirt, giving him a hard kiss.

Justin smiled at Brian after the kiss. “I guess you like comic book geeks, seeing as how you agreed to spend your Saturday with us,” he teased.

Brian stood up tall, shaking his head. “I had to protect my investment. Mikey would have bought every action figure that predated 1980 and you would have purchased every painting in the dealer’s room. All the money that I’ve put into Rage would have been squandered at this little soiree,” Brian gently explained. He lifted up the box and placed it on the chair. Grabbing the tape gun, he closed the box and then placed it beside the other three on the floor of their booth area. “It’s been a long day and I promised Gus I would take him to the new Alien movie tomorrow.”

“You didn’t tell me you were going to the movies with Gus,” Justin chastised his partner.

“So… I’m telling you now. We’re going to the movies tomorrow. Would you like to join us?” Brian snarked, half-seriously.

Shaking his head, Justin said, “No. I am meeting my mom for lunch and taking her to the new Chilhuly exhibit at the Botanical Gardens.”

“Twat,” Brian retorted as he taped the last of the boxes closed. “Let’s load these in the SUV. I guess you were right when you said that an SUV is more practical for your needs, but I will never like being seen in it. It is butt ugly.”

Justin carried out a box to the car, clicking on the key fob to unlock and open the trunk without having to put down the box. He shivered in the cold and wiped a few snowflakes from his face. After three trips, the car was loaded and the men were ready to go.

Brian took the snow brush out, clearing the windshield and side windows of the white powder. “I’ll drive. The two of you are worn out. All I did was play fetch and look at all the geeky customers all day,” Brian teased.

“Lots of those “geeky” customers paid you a few compliments and I saw a number of them trying to get you to join them in a little action on the side,” Michael teased him.

“Of course they did. I’m Brian Fucking Kinney. I’ll never grow old or so some people tell me,” he said, tongue-in-cheek.

“Don’t encourage him, Michael. He’s got enough of a swelled head as it is,” Justin warned.

“I thought you liked my swelled head.” Brian pulled Justin in for a quick kiss and a pat on his ass.

“Quit it, you two. I swear, you’re like newlyweds and you’ve been together forever.” Michael opened the car door and got in the back seat, saving the front one for Justin.

“You’re just jealous as the professor is out of town and you don’t have anyone to play with you,” Brian reminded him. Brian got in the driver’s seat and put on his seat belt. He remembered when he never wore one, but to placate Justin and Gus and their damn PSA’s, he started wearing one when Justin returned from New York.

Justin got in the passenger seat, leaned over, and kissed Brian. “Let’s go home. I’m beat.”

Brian backed out of the parking space and made his way to the highway. The roads were still clear and they were making good time returning home. Justin had closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

"Thanks for coming, Brian. You helped out a lot," Michael leaned forward and spoke softly so as not to disturb Justin. "I found some original Bionic Woman action figures and the guy only wanted $20.00 for each of them. I got them for a steal." His smile was almost as big as one of Justin's.

"Those cons are dangerous. You're like a kid in a candy store," Brian teased. "Mikey, I'm going to go to the Cum and Go by the house. Justin asked me to pick up some milk yesterday and I forgot--got busy with a meeting at work. He'll be really pissy if he doesn't have milk for his Oreos in the morning."

“Sure. I’m still pretty excited about the con. I promised Ben I would call when I got home to tell him about it,” Michael gushed. “I’ll take a few zzz’s while you get the milk.”

Brian turned the car toward the convenience store and was stopped at a light when a car sped through the light, ramming into the passenger side of the car, knocking them into the middle of the intersection. Brian was slammed into the driver side door as he yelled, “Justinnnnnn!!!”

******

Brian woke as the rescue paramedic was tapping him on the shoulder.

“Sir. Sir. You’ve been in an accident,” the man repeated.

Brian had been slammed against the door and then fell forward on the steering wheel of the car. He sat up and immediately felt his head, bringing his fingers in front of him to check for blood. Concentrating his thoughts, he tried to remember how he got there and the night’s events cascaded through his brain.

“JUSTIN! JUSTIN,” he screamed as he frantically looked in the passenger seat for his partner.

“Sir, he’s been taken by ambulance to Allegheny General,” the paramedic said soothingly.

“Is he…?” Brian couldn’t put his thoughts into words.

“We don’t know anything, sir. He is alive and so is the passenger in the back.”

“Mikey. Oh my God. Mikey and Justin. I…” Brian started to get out of the car, but the paramedic stopped him.

“Sir. We need to bandage your head and you should be checked for a concussion. A stretcher is coming to get you and we’ll send you to the hospital.”

Brian took several deep breaths and leaned back in the seat. “Just get me to the hospital so I can be with Justin.”

The paramedic bandaged Brian’s head and the stretcher came, taking Brian to Allegheny General. They wheeled Brian into an exam room and he received five stitches on his forehead. The doctor performed a neurological exam on him.

“You don’t appear to have a concussion, but I’d like to keep you overnight to monitor you since you were unconscious. I’ll have the nurse call to get you a room.”

Brian watched as the doctor left the room, then stood up to leave and search for Justin and Mikey. He got as far as the door when the nurse walked in.

“Mr. Kinney, you need to rest. You were in a bad car accident and shouldn’t be walking around,” the nurse chastised him.

“I can’t rest. My partner and my best friend were in the car. I need to be with them,” Brian pleaded.

The nurse handed him a small cup with two tablets in them. “Take these and I’ll see what I can find out. You need to rest,” she attempted to reassure him.

Brian dutifully took the pills, attempting to lay down on the small bed. She returned shortly to Brian’s room.

“Are they okay? Can I go sit with Justin? I promise to just sit in the chair and not move, but I have to be there. This is killing me.” Brian gave a half-smile, hoping that would sway the nurse.

Shaking her head, she informed him, “I’m afraid that is not possible. They are both in surgery right now. I’ll see what I can do about having you transported to a room. They should be in their rooms by tomorrow and then you’ll be able to see them.”

“SURGERY! MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH DRIVER. What kind of surgery? What’s wrong with them?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t have that information, but I’ll check on them and let you know when they get out. Is there anyone you want me to contact for you?”

“SHIT!” Brian looked at the time, seeing that it was 4:00 am. He knew he should tell Jennifer and Ben. “Where’s my cell phone? I’ll call the people that need to know.”

The nurse reached under the cot where Brian’s belongings had been stored and handed the bag to him. Brian fished around the bag, locating his cell and punched in the number for Ben.

“Hello?” a sleepy Ben answered the phone.

“Ben…” Brian hesitated a few moments. “There’s been an accident and Michael’s been hurt. He’s in surgery.”

Ben woke up quickly when he heard his spouse was in an accident. “Where are you?”

“Allegheny General.”

“I’ll be on the first plane. Tell him I love him, Brian,” Ben directed.

“Okay.” Brian hung up the phone, realizing he didn’t tell Ben about himself or Justin. Time enough for those revelations. Now to call Jennifer.

He punched in the familiar number, briefly wondering when he had programmed her number into his speed dial which meant she was part of his immediate circle. She picked up right away.

“Jennifer. There’s been an accident. Justin was hurt and he’s in surgery. We’re at Allegheny General,” Brian said tiredly.

Jennifer gasped. “OH MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? WHEN? HOW? I’LL BE RIGHT THERE,” she said as fast as she could, jumping out of bed and putting on her robe. She shook Tucker and he rolled over.

“Jen, you really are insatiable,” he softly mumbled as he tried to pull her in for a kiss.

“Tucker, Justin’s been in a car accident. I need to get to the hospital,” she replied frantically as she walked to the closet to pull out clothing.

Tucker jumped out of bed, running his hands through his hair. "Of course. I'll take you." He quickly threw on some clothing, grabbed his keys and wallet and they were in the car less than fifteen minutes after the phone rang.

Arriving at the hospital, they went to the admission’s desk.

“I’m Jennifer Taylor. My son Justin was brought in earlier. He was in a car accident,” she explained as the tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. “Can you tell me what room he’s in?”

The clerk looked in the system. “He’s in surgery. He hasn’t been assigned a room yet. You can go to the surgery waiting area and the nurses will keep you informed.” The clerk pointed to the elevator. “Take those elevators to the third floor and turn to the left.”

“Thank you,” Jennifer said as she quickly made her way to the familiar area. She looked around for Brian and was surprised not to see him there. She walked toward the nurses’ desk to obtain an update. Before she could ask, she overheard another nurse talking.

“Mr. Kinney would like an update on Mr. Taylor and Mr. Novotny. Is there any news?”

“Excuse me,” Jennifer addressed the nurses. “I heard you say Mr. Kinney was asking about Mr. Taylor and Mr. Novotny. Mr. Kinney is my son-in-law. Is he hurt too?”

The nurse nodded. “Is there any news on the two men?” she repeated her question.

“They’re still in surgery. I’ll call down when they get out.”

“M’am, I’ll take you to Mr. Kinney. If you’ll follow me.”

Jennifer felt her stomach roil at the thought of Brian also being hurt. At least he was conscious. She hoped he would be able to tell her what happened.

The nurse knocked on the door and a gruff, “Come in” was called from the room.

Jennifer entered the room and immediately went to Brian, clasping his hand in hers. “You didn’t say you were hurt too. I was looking for you at the surgery waiting area and I overheard the nurse asking about information on Justin and Michael. What happened? Have you called Debbie and Ben? ”

“I called Ben, but not Debbie. Guess I’m not thinking too straight. We were coming home from the Comic Con and a car broadsided us. I woke up when the paramedics roused me. I have no idea what happened with Justin and Mikey--just that they are in surgery.” Brian hung his head, the reality too unimaginable to contemplate.

Jennifer wanted to hug him, tell him everything would be okay, but knew Brian was not one for platitudes. Instead she squeezed his hand and kissed him gently on the forehead. “The nurse in the surgery waiting area said she would call your floor nurse when either of them got out of surgery. I’ll stay here with you and wait. It’s always better to wait with someone.” She looked at her watch. “It’s five a.m.; I’m going to call Debbie. She’ll want to be here when Michael wakes up.”

Brian nodded in agreement and then allowed the pain medication to do its job, closing his eyes, and falling into a turbulent sleep.

Jennifer called Debbie, who in turn called Emmett, Melanie, and Ted. Ted offered to pick up Deb and Mel and take them to the hospital, and Em offered to pick up Ben from the airport. Lindsey stayed home with JR. By eight the next morning, all of the Liberty Avenue family except Ben and Emmett were in the waiting room.

The nurse came in to check Brian’s vitals. “How are you feeling this morning, Mr. Kinney?” she asked as she wrote the information in his chart.

“I’d be a lot better if I was with Justin. Can I leave now? I’m fine,” he responded.

“I’m sure the doctor will be here shortly and you can discuss that with him,” she assured him. “The aide should be in with your breakfast in a few minutes. Why don’t you eat and wait for the doctor?”

“Whatever. I feel fine. I’m getting dressed,” Brian bristled as he got up to locate his clothing.

Jennifer came in to the room just as the nurse was leaving. “I took the liberty of buying you a running suit. Sorry it’s not Prada, but they don’t seem to carry it in the gift shop,” Jennifer joked as she handed him the bag. “Your clothes were ruined and I didn’t think you’d want to be running around in a hospital gown. Tucker helped me pick it out, so you can blame him if you don’t like it. He had to leave to teach a class; unfortunately, there were no subs available.”

Brian took the bag, opening it and pulling out the clothing. "Black is always a good color," he half-joked. Taking the bag into the bathroom, he changed and returned to the main area. "Any word on Justin or Michael?" he asked hopefully.

Shaking her head, she replied, “I checked with the nurse before I came up.”

“Damn doctors. I should be down there. He better come soon, or I’m leaving regardless of what they say,” Brian announced as he started to pace the room.

The doctor entered the room. “Good to see you up, Mr. Kinney. If you’ll take a seat, I’ll examine you.” The doctor pointed to the chair by the bed.

Jennifer announced, “I’ll be outside, Brian.”

Brian sat in the chair and allowed the doctor to complete his exam. “Can I go now? I need to be with Justin. I just got a little jarred.”

The doctor wrote some additional notes in Brian’s chart. “Yes, you are released. I’ll send a wheelchair for you. If you experience any double vision, nausea or vomiting, please go to an emergency room immediately.”

“Look Doc, I’m not leaving the hospital. Justin is still in surgery and so is my best friend. I’m just going to walk to the fifth floor. I don’t need a wheelchair.”

Shaking his head, he announced, “Rules. We still have to take you to the entrance in a chair and then you can go wherever you like. I’ll let the nurses know to release you.” The doctor left the room and Jennifer returned.

“Let’s go,” Brian said as he started to walk out the door.

The nurse entered the room, carrying his paperwork. “Mr. Kinney, you must sign these forms and I must take you out in a wheelchair. The aide is bringing the chair as we speak. I’m sorry, but it is policy.”

“Fucking policy. Just give me the damn forms,” he yelled.

She handed him the forms and he quickly scribbled his name. “There. I’ll wait ten minutes and if there is no chair, I’m walking out of here no matter what you say,” he announced.

Two minutes later, the aide brought his chair and wheeled him down to the entrance to the hospital. Jennifer walked by his side, quiet in her support. He was wheeled outside where he promptly stood up and walked back into the hospital. Walking quickly to the elevator, he pushed the button for the surgery floor. Brian and Jennifer got off the elevator, walking toward the anxious group.


	2. Aftermath

“Oh Brian,” Debbie greeted her surrogate son and attempted to give him a hug. Brian stiffened his body and didn’t return the hug. Debbie noticed but didn’t call him on it. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a car. Oh wait, I was hit by a fucking car,” Brian snarked.

Debbie stepped back and looked him over. She noticed his clean sweats and silently wondered if Jennifer went home to bring them to him, but then realized that she wouldn’t leave the hospital and wondered how she could think about such trivial things as what Brian was wearing when Michael and Sunshine were…

“Any news?” Jennifer asked the group.

“The nurse came and talked to us a few minutes ago. Both of them are out of surgery and in recovery,” Melanie informed them.

“Thank God,” Jennifer said softly. “Did she say what kind of surgery?”

“Michael had pins and screws put in his leg and Justin had surgery on his arm and hand. The docs also said he broke some ribs,” Mel informed them.

Brian gasped. _Justin hurt his drawing hand. Shit!_ Brian slumped in the chair, hanging his head in his hands and blocked out the chatter of the group around him. "I need a cigarette. Where are my fucking cigarettes?" He felt around his shirt, remembering that Jennifer had bought him the clothing in the gift shop, his clothes ruined in the accident. "Shit, I need to buy a pack of cigarettes." Getting out of the chair, intending to walk toward the gift shop, he remembered. _Justin would kill me. I haven’t smoked in three months. I promised after my last cancer check up that I would quit. Damn the blond. He won’t know. Besides, he would understand._

Brian got up again, walking to Jennifer. “I’m going for a smoke and then I’ll head up towards Justin’s room. Do you want to come?”

Jennifer smiled at Brian’s thoughtful request. “Thank you. I’ll be up in a bit. I know you’ll want to see him and the nurses will want to limit his visitors.” Jennifer grabbed Brian’s hands and squeezed them in hers, kissing him on the cheek as he walked away.

Brian walked to the gift shop and searched for the wanted cigarettes, but couldn’t locate them.

“Where are the fucking cigarettes?” he demanded of the middle-aged woman behind the cash register.

She bristled at his abruptness and language, but answered in a calm manner, “Sir, we don’t sell cigarettes. It’s a hospital and smoke-free.”

Brian shook his head and repeated ‘It’s a hospital and smoke free’ under his breath as he walked out of the shop. Vaguely he remembered Justin saying something about that when he was here after his incident. _Shit, that seems a lifetime ago. I guess maybe it was._

He walked out the door and down to the corner drugstore, where he bought a pack of cigarettes. Lighting one as he left the store, he inhaled, savoring the feel of the nicotine coursing through his body. He still smoked an occasional joint, but there was something unique about cigarettes that always relaxed him. _Maybe I could convince Justin that smoking really isn’t that bad. And pigs will fly. When did I become so whipped?_ He finished his cigarette before entering the hospital, and stopped at the gift shop to buy some mints, hoping to hide the smell on his breath.

Making his way to the admission desk, he asked what room Justin had been given and was told that he would be on the fifth floor. Brian pushed the button for the fifth floor and made his way to room 514. _Fucking Déjà vu._ He didn’t knock, but entered the room, stopping to take in the familiar layout. Justin was lying on the bed, his skin almost the same alabaster white as the blanket that covered him. He was hooked up to an IV and his arm was in a cast from the top of his elbow down to his fingers. _Yep—Déjà-fucking-vu alright. Only difference was he didn’t fall in the damn shower while jerking off. Instead, his cast is compliments of yours truly._ Brian leaned down, gently kissing Justin on the forehead and moving his bangs away from his eyes. Brian looked around for the chair and pulled it close to the bed, sitting down in it and reaching out for Justin’s hand. Placing his hand in Justin’s, he caressed the soft skin of his lover as unchecked tears ran down his cheeks.

Jennifer made her way up to the fifth floor, inwardly groaning at the familiarity of the place. This was the second time Justin had been in this hospital and she really didn’t want to deal with this again. At least this time, it wasn’t life threatening and she was thankful for that. Making her way to Justin’s room, she realized that this was the same room Brian had been in when he was in the hospital after his incident. She marveled at the love her son and his partner had, and was glad that she had chosen to accept their relationship. Arriving at the door to the room, she walked in softly, not wanting to disturb Justin, and saw Brian sitting by his side. Again, she wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be okay, but she quietly stepped outside of the room, choosing to wait in the visitor’s lounge until he left Justin’s side. She’d seen Justin and that was enough for now.

Brian yawned, the long hours of the previous day and the even longer night catching up to him. Leaning forward, he lay his head down across Justin’s abdomen and fell asleep.

Jennifer went to the admission’s desk and inquired about Michael, finding that he was on the fifth floor as well, just in a different hallway. She walked down and found Mel, Ted, Emmett and Debbie in the waiting area. She stopped at the coffee pot to pour herself a cup before joining them in their small corner of the room.

“Has he woken up?” Jennifer asked no one in particular.

“No. The doctors say his leg was badly damaged in the crash and they have him pretty sedated. He should wake up in the next hour or so; he’ll probably be out of it for a few days,” Ted explained quietly. “How is Justin?”

“He broke his collar bone, and his arm as well as some ribs. They can't do much with the collar bone and the ribs- just a sling for the collar bone, but they don't tape ribs anymore. The doctor said that it constricts the patient's breathing too much. He’s got a cast from just above his elbow to the middle of his fingers. The doctor says he should recover. I hope his hand is okay; his art is his life." She frowned deeply, hoping that her worries were unfounded.

“Justin is strong. I’m sure he’ll be just fine,” Em stated matter-of-factly.

“Did they keep the stuff from Brian’s accident? The ramp and the shower chair? Michael could probably use those when he gets out.” Ted inquired, although he wasn’t sure Jennifer would know the answer to those questions.

“I’m not sure, but maybe we can look in the storage area of the loft. It would be stored there rather than at Britin,” Jennifer reasoned out loud.

“I’ve got keys to the loft. I’ll look when I leave here. If I can’t find it there, I can always look at Britin,” Ted volunteered.

“Thank you. I’m sure Brian isn’t thinking about any of that right now. He just wants to see Justin awake,” Jennifer explained.

Several hours passed and Jennifer wanted to see Justin and talk to him if he was up to it. She walked down to the room, feeling that Brian should have had ample time to compose himself, but saw the two sleeping men. She sighed softly, walked over to Justin, kissed him lightly on the forehead and brushed his bangs, and then whispered softly “I love you,” before walking out the door.

Returning to the waiting area in front of Michael’s room, she sat down, yawning and closing her eyes as she lay her head back against the wall.

Ted spied Jennifer and lightly tapped her on the shoulder, “Let me take you home. I assume since you’re already back that Justin is still sleeping. Brian is there; he’s not alone. Come back after you’ve showered and rested.”

Jennifer started to shake her head in resistance, but sighed loudly instead. “I think that would be good. Thank you.” She walked over to Debbie and gave her a quick hug. “Ted’s taking me home. I’ve been here for hours and Justin still hasn’t woken up, but Brian is there with him so he won’t be alone. I’ll be back this afternoon.”

Debbie gave Jennifer a big hug and replied, “You do that, honey. Thanks for calling me. Can’t believe that asshole Brian didn’t call me, but he called Ben instead. I’m Michael’s mother,” Debbie chastised Brian, but no one was listening.

Ted and Jennifer left the hospital, and he drove her to her condominium where she was met by Tucker.

“I didn’t expect you for hours. The seminar got out early and I stopped here to change. I was just heading out to the hospital,” he briefly explained his presence at their home after giving her a quick hug and kiss. “Is he okay? Can I get you something to eat?” he asked solicitously. Holding his hands out, he grabbed Jennifer’s hands in his own, squeezing them to show his support.

“Justin has a broken arm, broken collar bone and some broken ribs, but he is going to be fine. Brian is with him and I came home to shower and rest. I’ll go back this afternoon. I’m not really hungry, but a cup of tea would be really appreciated,” she said quietly and then placed a quick kiss on his cheek. “I’m going to shower. Why don’t you brew the tea and bring it to the bedroom. Hopefully it will help me sleep,” she directed. As she started up the staircase she turned, addressing Ted, “Thank you for taking me home. Will you be going to the Loft to see about the ramp?”

“You’re welcome. I’m headed there now. Brian is more than my boss and I’ll do anything to help him and Justin out. I’m just sorry to see them having another medical issue to deal with.” Ted shook Tucker’s hand and left the condo.

“I’m sure he appreciates your friendship. Loaning Michael the ramp and chair would be a great help. Brian always wants to take care of everything,” Jennifer commented as she watched Tucker go into the kitchen.

Jennifer showered and changed into a light nightshirt before getting into bed. As she was arranging the pillows, Tucker brought her tea and placed the mug on the night stand. She picked up the cup, blew on the hot liquid and took a small sip. Smiling, she enjoyed the warmth it brought her chilled body. “That’s perfect,” she said after drinking two thirds of the cup. Replacing the cup, she snuggled into the blankets and Tucker gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

“Sleep. I’ll be here when you get up. I took the liberty of calling Molly and she said she would stop at the hospital on the way home from work.

Jennifer closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly. She slept for four hours, and when she woke it was three in the afternoon. She stretched, luxuriating in the feel of the soft sheets and warm blanket surrounding her. When she glanced at the clock and saw the time, she was confused as to the reason she would be sleeping at that time of the day. She sat up and glanced at the cup of tea, and the memories came flooding back. She got out of bed quickly and dressed in clean clothing, and then made her way downstairs to find Tucker balancing the check book.

“Ahh, you’re awake. Feel better?” he asked as he got up to kiss her.

“I’m rested, but I really need to go back to the hospital. Surely Justin is up by now, and I don’t want him to think that I wasn’t there for him,” Jennifer chastised herself.

Tucker wrapped his arms around her, giving her a big hug. “Shh. I just got off the phone with Justin. He didn’t want to wake you so he called my cell. He says he’s fine and for you not to worry. He’s got Brian there and he’ll see you whenever you get there.” Tucker led Jennifer to the table, motioning for her to sit down. “You need to eat and then we can go down to the hospital.” Tucker made Jennifer a sandwich, and Jennifer ate a few bites.

“I’m so glad that he has Brian. I remember… the first time… He was all alone--in a coma… and then…” Jennifer stammered as she started to cry.

Tucker went behind the chair and hugged her as he attempted to calm her. “That was a long time ago, Jenn. Brian and Justin are a couple today and have been there for each other for almost eight years. He’s not alone anymore,” he whispered as he placed soft kisses in her hair.

She grabbed the napkin and dried her tears as she clutched Tucker’s hands. “I know. I’m so proud of both of them. I’m just being…”

“You’re being a mom and Justin and Molly are the luckiest kids in the world. Now let’s go down and see Justin. Regardless, everyone always wants to see their mom.”

Jennifer stood up and hugged Tucker, kissing his neck and mouth with lots of quick pecks. “I love you. Thank you.”

They drove to the hospital, going directly to the fifth floor. “Did I tell you that Justin is in the same room that Brian was in a few years ago when he had his accident? It’s a little creepy,” Jennifer informed Tucker as they walked off the elevator.

They came to the room and knocked before entering, as Jennifer had witnessed more than she cared to with those two men. They heard both Brian and Justin yell ‘Enter’, and they walked into the room.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jennifer cried as she hugged Justin.

Justin winced at the movement, but tried to make light of it, “Mom, I only broke my arm, my collar bone and a few ribs. I’ll be fine,” Justin admonished.

Jennifer stood up and dried her tears again, finding a chair to sit in. “I’m sorry. It’s just… you look so vulnerable there in that hospital bed.”

“Mom, I’m fine. Really. The doc says I’ll have a few days of therapy and then I can go home. Wonder if Jose is still here? Wouldn’t it be ironic if I had to have therapy with him?” Justin asked as he looked at Brian.

“There’s nothing funny about therapy, Justin. It’s a bitch and having a cast is hell,” Brian stated emphatically. Brian was restless in his seat, crossing his legs back and forth and fiddling with the Kleenex box. “Why don’t you visit with Mother Taylor while I go out for a bit? I’ve seen enough of this room for awhile,” Brian announced as he walked toward the door. Stopping before he walked out, he turned around, bent down and kissed Justin on the lips as he whispered, “Later,” to him.

Justin smiled at their familiar address and returned the salutation, “Later.”

“Is everything okay, Justin?” Jennifer asked solicitously, recognizing the agitation in her son-in-law.

Justin smiled, assuring his mother, “Everything’s fine. He’s just tired. We had a really long day at the convention, and then the accident, and then the waiting. It’s taken its toll on Brian. He’ll be back in a little while. Besides, he probably wants to see Michael, but hasn’t wanted to leave me alone. You know how protective he is,” Justin explained.

“I suppose you’re right. Do you remember the accident?”

Justin shook his head as he sat up in bed. Attempting to rearrange his pillows to support his ribs and his cast, he motioned for his mother to hand him another pillow that was at the edge of the bed. “This thing is really heavy and it’s a bitch to move when breathing hurts. The collar bone break doesn't help any. At least the break on the collar bone is on the same side as the broken arm. Otherwise, I'd be hard put to move.” He rested on the pillows and took a deep cleansing breath. “Thanks. No, I don’t remember the accident. I was tired and Brian told me to rest while he drove home. I think I was probably sleeping when we were hit by the car. Brian told me that we were at a stoplight when the other car hit us.”

“Well at least you won’t have flashbacks,” Tucker said hopefully.

“Probably not, since I was out of it at the scene and didn’t wake up till they got me in the room. At least this time, Brian won’t be trying to help me remember,” Justin said wistfully.

“Oh Justin,” Jennifer exclaimed. “I know the b…”

“Mom,” Justin said gently, grabbing her hand in his. “You can say it. It’s okay. I remember most of the bashing and I recovered from it. This broken arm will be inconvenient, but it’s not life threatening. Just think, Brian will have to wait on me this time.” Justin smiled as he thought of the prospect. His stomach growled and he placed his hand over the area. “What time is it? I’m starving.”

Jennifer smiled at Justin’s words. “So you’re going to make my son-in-law wait on you. This I have to see. Brian Kinney at your beck and call.” She looked at her watch. “It’s 5:30. They’ll probably be bringing your dinner soon.”

Justin frowned. “Unless the food has vastly improved, I’ll still be hungry afterwards. Do you think you could go to the little diner across the street and bring me a burger and fries?” Justin asked, batting his eyelashes.

Laughing out loud, Jennifer answered, “Of course, sweetheart. Do you think Brian would like anything? I could bring him back something too.”

“Don’t know. He probably went down to see Michael. Why don’t you try his room? I’ll be fine,” Justin assured her.

Jennifer and Tucker left Justin’s room, returning to the part of the 5th floor where Michael’s room was located. They looked at the waiting area in that section and found it empty; then they tried Michael’s room. Knocking on the door, they were told to enter and they found Debbie, Ben and Hunter gathered around Michael’s bed.

“Hi Jennifer, Tucker,” Debbie greeted them.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. How is Michael?” Jennifer asked quietly.

“He woke up a little while ago, but he’s in a lot of pain so they’ve got him dosed up pretty good. The drugs put him out pretty quickly. We were all just getting ready to leave. The nurse said he’ll be out for another three hours at least. We’re headed to the cafeteria for dinner. Do you want to join us?” Debbie motioned to the group as they walked out of the room.

“Um thanks, but Justin wanted me to get him a burger from the diner across the street. He seems to remember that the food here isn’t the best.” She smiled a fake smile. “Actually, have you seen Brian? I was going to see if he wanted anything.”

‘No, can’t say that I have seen him. I just assumed he was with Sunshine. Don’t tell me he’s running away again. I’ll kill that little asshole,” Debbie remarked, the anger obvious in her voice.

“I’m sure he isn’t running away. He stayed with Justin all night and all day. He said he was going out. Maybe he remembers the food and went to get himself something to eat,” Jennifer theorized.

Debbie shook her head in agreement. “I’m sure that’s what happened. Well, we’ve got to be going. Don’t want Michael to wake up all alone,” Debbie replied as she turned and walked toward the elevator that would take her to the cafeteria.

Jennifer shrugged and turned toward Tucker. “I hope Debbie isn’t right and Brian isn’t running away. It would just kill Justin.” Jennifer and Tucker went to the diner where they ordered Justin’s food and a salad for Brian. They picked up small sandwiches for themselves as well.

“I’m sure there is a logical explanation for Brian’s absence and he’ll be there when we get back,” Tucker assured her as he glanced at his watch. “It’s been almost an hour and half since he left.”

They returned to Justin’s room, but Brian was no where to be found.


	3. Two Patients or Is It Three?

Brian walked out of the hospital, thankful that he didn't see any of 'the family'. Feeling for his keys, he realized that was a useless endeavor. He flipped open his phone and called for the service. He waited for the car in the lobby and was pleased to see that it arrived in less than ten minutes.

“Mr. Kinney,” the driver said, tipping his hat slightly when he opened the door.

“Take me to Lindsey’s house,” he directed.

Brian closed his eyes while the driver made his way through Pittsburgh’s winding streets. Unfortunately, his mind wouldn't rest as all he could see was Justin’s car being hit at the stop light. The crunch of the metal and the jarring of the car were as vivid in his mind now as it was on Saturday night. After forty five minutes, they arrived at their destination.

“Mr. Kinney,” the driver spoke solicitously. “We’re here. Should I wait for you?”

Brian roused himself from his semi-dream state. “No, I’ll call if I need you.” He gave the chauffeur a large tip and got out of the car.

Walking up to the door, he wasn't certain why he came, but this was the first place that came to mind. He knocked on the door and Gus answered.

“Hey Dad,” Gus greeted his father and gave him a light punch on the arm. “Come in,” he motioned.

Brian walked in and went straight for the couch, slumping over, his head in his hands.

“Dad, is Justin okay? Momma called and said they were both in their rooms,” Gus asked worriedly.

“Justin’s fine and Mikey’s still pretty drugged up but the docs say they’ll both recover,” Brian said flatly.

Gus let out a deep breath. “Good. I’m glad. I’d offer you a shot, but the strongest thing we have is some beer. You know how the moms are,” Gus offered, wishing he had something stronger to offer his father as he looked at the devastation on his face. 

“A beer will do,” Brian said halfheartedly.

Happy to have something to do, Gus jumped up and grabbed a beer, giving it to his father. 

Brian popped the top, taking a long draw. Grimacing after he swallowed, he looked at the label. “What the fuck? Your moms have no taste in beer. This is like drinking piss water. Throw it away, Sonny Boy.” Brian handed the bottle back to Gus.

Gus took the bottle and drained it in the sink, returning to the living room and his father. “Want me to take you to the store? I’m sure they have better stuff there.” he offered.

Brian looked at his son, the obvious caring in his eyes and the desire to help. “Thanks, but no, Sonny Boy. I really don’t feel like going anywhere. I’ll just slip out back and have another smoke.” Brian stood and walked out the back door, going out to the middle of the yard to light up. 

Gus joined him. “I thought you quit, Dad?” he asked as he turned away from the wind.

“Yeah, well… I needed a cigarette and I think that this is a perfect reason to have a smoke. That goddamned SOB ran into us. We weren't drinking, just minding our own business. And now…” He swallowed his words, unable to voice his thoughts.

Gus was silent at Brian’s tirade. He just stood outside as the wind blew the smoke in his face and watched Brian as he inhaled the deadly smoke. Brian smoked two cigarettes and looked around the yard as if he finally noticed his surroundings.

“Fuck. What the fuck am I doing here talking to a sixteen year old? I should be at the hospital.” He ground out his cigarette with his shoe. Flipping open his phone, he called for the car service again. He gave Gus a hug and Gus returned the embrace.

“Dad, it will be okay. They both are okay. Mom said they’ll both recover.” Gus attempted to reassure him.

Brian released Gus and gave a small smile. “Thanks. Bye Sonny Boy,” he remarked as he walked to the front of the house and waited for the car.

He asked the driver to take him to the loft. He waited for the elevator, not having the strength to go up the stairs. Letting himself into the loft, he sat on the couch, staring into space. After a while, he showered, changed clothes, and put his clothes in the hamper. He glanced out the window, seeing the light from street lamps shine in his window. _Shit. It's fucking dark outside._ He grabbed the keys from the hook and drove to the hospital.

Entering the hospital, he was greeted by the attendant at the desk. “I’m sorry, sir, but visiting hours are over. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Brian glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was after 9:00 p.m. Flipping open his phone, he called Justin’s room, but he received the message that his call could not be completed as the patients needed their rest.

He slammed his fist down on the attendant’s desk. “Fuck,” he cried out at the mixture of pain and frustration. Turning around, he went back to his car and drove home.

He chose to walk up the stairs to the loft, not wanting to get there in any hurry. It was a cold, empty place without Justin there. He disarmed the alarm and opened the heavy door. He didn't bother with any lights as the reflection from the street lamps provided sufficient illumination. Walking to the bar, he poured himself a shot of Beam. Drinking it quickly, he poured a second and drank that as well. Grabbing the bottle, he brought it to the couch, proceeding to finish it before passing out.

*******

The sunlight hit his eyes as it traveled across the horizon. “Shit. What the fuck am I doing sleeping on the couch?” Brian said out loud. Sitting up quickly, he felt the drums in his head and the cotton taste in his mouth. He saw the empty bottle on the floor. Bringing his arm up to his nose, he sniffed. “ I reek like a bar. Damn, I must have gotten drunk when I got home. Shit! Fuck! Justin is going to kill me.” He padded to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and then took a shower. After dressing quickly, he took the car keys and drove to the hospital.

He pushed the button for the fifth floor and walked right into Debbie and Ben as they were leaving Michael’s room.

“Where the fuck have you been, asshole?” Debbie accused.

Brian inwardly bristled at her tone, but didn't answer. “Well, not that you care, but Michael is okay.”

Brian nodded at them and turned toward Justin’s room. Without knocking, he entered. Jennifer and Tucker were there and they looked up when they heard footsteps.

“Brian!” Jennifer exclaimed. 

Nodding at her, he said, “Mother Taylor.”

Walking toward Justin, he kissed him briefly on the lips and then sat down on the side of the bed.

Justin returned the kiss, but smelled the distinct odor of the alcohol. He frowned but refrained from saying anything. The aide brought his breakfast in and he ate it quickly. “Mom, can you go down to the cafeteria and grab me a bagel and cream cheese? These eggs were barely enough to feed the dust bunnies in my studio,” he joked.

“Sure sweetheart. Brian, can I get you anything?”

“No,” he answered.

“Mom, get him a bagel too. I doubt he’s had anything to eat and I know there’s no food in the loft,” Justin directed.

“Okay. We’ll be back in a while.” They got up and pulled the door closed for some privacy.

“What the fuck happened to you? One minute you’re here and then you pulled a Houdini,” Justin accused as he flipped his hand back and forth. “And you reek. Did you get wasted at Babylon?”

“I went to see Gus and then I went to the loft to change. When I came back here it was after visiting hours and the bitch at the desk wouldn't let me up. Not that I owe you an explanation, but that's what happened,” Brian said, bristling.

“Did you drink the entire contents of our liquor cart?” Justin accused.

“No.”

“I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll be getting out of here tomorrow. The nurse told me that the therapist will be in today to show me how to get around.”

“Good.”

“Have you seen Michael? Mom said he’s still pretty out of it.”

“No, but I’ll go this morning.”

Justin carefully held out his arms for a hug and Brian scooted up towards him. A knock on the door made them release each other.

Jose walked in. “So I was right. The chart said Justin Taylor, but I thought that couldn't be you. Unfortunately, I see it is. What happened?”

“Car accident. They had to do surgery and the docs say I need you to show me how to maneuver with this monster before they’ll let me go home. I don't see why I need physical therapy for a broken arm” Justin said conspiratorially.

Jose smiled. “It’s the combination arm and broken ribs that calls for my expertise. You'll have to be really careful of those ribs. If you move too sharply, you could puncture a lung or poke holes in your insides. According to your chart, they did have to put a chest tube in; although that's not uncommon in car accidents.” Jose lifted Justin's shirt to look at the bruising on his torso. “Unfortunately, Justin those will take a while to heal. You're going to have to be careful for at least a month, maybe two.”

“Christ,” Brian exclaimed. “Explain careful?”

“I'll be blunt. Sex will have to be very sedate, if Justin can handle it at all. He won't be doing bending, twisting, or crunching. Those activities will cause him a lot of pain,” Jose stated, understanding Brian's question.

Both Justin and Brian frowned at the proclamation, but neither responded.

“Time for your lesson, Justin. Are you going to join us, Brian?” Jose asked, remembering Justin’s watchful eye from Brian’s therapy.

“I think I’ll pass. I have to go check on Mikey. Later. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Brian left and went down to Michael’s room. He knocked and Debbie called out to enter.

“I see the asshole has deemed it okay to come see his best friend,” she snarked.

“Deb, there’s nothing I could do. Besides, I know that “the family” would have let me know if there was a problem. How is he?” Brian explained, using the familiar words.

Deb recognized Brian’s statement, the message received loud and clear. She softened her tone, “He’s got a compound fracture in his legs and the docs had to put him back together with plates and screws. The doctors had him pretty sedated, but he’s off the Morphine drip and now they have him on shots. They just gave him one an hour ago and that usually puts him asleep for about an hour. He should be up in a few minutes.”

“Justin went to therapy so I can stay for awhile.” Brian stood at the window, looking out at the traffic below.

About half an hour later, Michael woke up. Slowing opening his eyes, he saw Brian standing at the window. He called out his name, but it came out very weak; “Brian.”

Brian turned around and walked to the bed. “You said you were going to sleep for a week when we left the convention, but I think you might be carrying it too far, Mikey,” he teased.

“Asshole. I think maybe I won’t wish for that again. How are you?” Michael asked as he eyed his best friend.

“Fine. The impact was all on the passenger side of the car. I just had a headache, but the damn doctors still kept me overnight. Speaking of headaches, I have to meet with the insurance adjuster later today. He’ll probably try to stick it to us saying somehow it was my fault that the asshole ran the red light. Insurance, you gotta love it. Justin may not be driving soon, but I know he’ll want to have a car when he can drive again.”

“Shit. He really liked that car.” Michael tried sitting up, wincing in pain and his face turned very white.

Brian paled at the sight and spoke quickly, “Justin should be done with therapy and I promised him I would eat part of a bagel. See you later.” He turned quickly and left the room.

Brian returned to Justin’s room just as Jose was bringing him back from therapy. 

“Justin did great. If he remembers to take everything slowly, he'll do just fine. I’ll come back this afternoon and practice one last time, but I doubt you really need it,” Jose pronounced.

Jennifer had left the bagels on the table with a note, saying she would be back this afternoon. Justin picked up his bagel, smearing the cream cheese on it. Brian bristled at the fat-laden food and ate a few bites of his bagel with just a light coating on it. Justin sat in bed, propped up by a horde of pillows, and Brian sat in the chair. Neither spoke and Justin grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels. 

“I have to meet with the insurance guy this afternoon. Want me to bring you anything?”

“No. After you meet with him, why don’t you stop at Kinnetik? You’re probably itching to see if Ted has destroyed all your hard years of work,” Justin teased.

“Theodore is fine. I don’t need to stop by,” Brian said, laughing at Justin’s remark.

“I know, but I don’t need you babysitting me. I’ll need your help for at least a few days when I go home. You might be working from home, so why don’t you check in with Cynthia and Ted and get things in order. I’m fine here and mom will be back if I need anything.”

Brian leaned over, kissing Justin fully on the lips. “I want to remind you, I don’t cook or clean or do windows, so I’m not sure what you expect,” he said playfully.

“Oh, I can think of a few things you can do. Now, go. I’m tired and I need my beauty sleep. Go to the store and buy food. I don’t want to eat only take-out for the next two months,” Justin reminded him.

“I don’t shop either, but I’ll see what I can do. “Later,” Brian said.

“Later,” Justin responded.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian left the hospital and went to Kinnetik as Justin had suggested. He asked Cynthia to join him in his office and to bring his appointment book for the remainder of the month.

“How's Justin and Michael?” she asked as they sat down.

Brian ran his hand through his hair before answering. “Michael's got a really bad broken leg, but he will recover. Justin broke his collar bone, his arm and some ribs,” Brian reported in a fairly neutral voice.

''Is it his drawing arm?” Cynthia asked.

Brian looked up and above Cynthia, staring at the glass panes as if some magical answer were there. He didn't answer for several minutes and Cynthia didn't repeat the question, recognizing her boss' need for privacy. “Yeah, it is.”

Cynthia winced at the confirming words.

“I'm sorry.”

“Me too,” Brian admitted. He'd learned that sorry wasn't always bullshit and this was one of those times.

“I'm going to work from home for at least a week, maybe longer, so let's see what's on the agenda. You and Theodore may need to do some presentations.”

“Sure boss. No problem,” Cynthia assured him.

They worked through the afternoon and Brian felt he could safely leave his business interests in the very capable hands of his assistant and CFO.

Walking to the diner, he entered, looking around for a familiar face, but realized that most of the “family” were probably at the hospital. Justin told me to leave him alone for a while and take care of business. I have no one to justify my actions to. Still it felt odd, going into the diner and Deb not giving him grief, or one the “family” asking some inane question regarding who he would fuck on some make believe TV show. _Justin is the most fuckable man I know--always has been and always will be. The car accident will put a crimp in that activity, but we're grown men, not teenagers and we'll be able to survive a while without fucking._

He sat down at the counter, ordering a turkey salad with dressing on the side and a lemon bar. The salad was pretty tasteless and the turkey was dry. _Why do I continue to eat this shit? A salad from anywhere else would be better than this. Old habits die hard._ He finished about half the salad and ate the lemon bar. He ordered two extras and wrapped them up.

It was a little before 7:00 p.m. and visiting hours were still in session. He drove to the hospital, stopping at Jack in the Box to buy a cheeseburger and fries to accompany the lemon bars. Parking the car, he remembered last night when he returned too late to see Justin and Mikey and congratulated himself on getting there on time today. He really didn't want a repeat of the previous night.

Turning toward Justin's room, he walked in as the aide was taking his dinner tray away. Bending down to kiss Justin, he touched his forehead in the familiar greeting. “Hey,” he said. “I brought you food. I seem to recall the dinners here are the worst meal of the day.” He brandished the bag of food and laid it out on the hospital tray. “And for dessert, two lemon bar. Do you want anything else? I can get you a soda from the machine?” he offered.

Justin smiled as he eyed the food. “I knew you were good for something.” He attempted to unwrap the burger, but he was finding it difficult with his cast and injured collar bone.

Brian saw his struggles and unwrapped the burger and dumped the fries on a napkin. He threw away the wrappers, getting them out of the way. Picking up the ketchup packets, he tore several open and made a pile of ketchup for Justin to dip his fries in. “I'll get you that soda,” he announced and didn't wait for a reply.

_He's so fucking helpless. He can't even unwrap a burger. Shit. Why'd that mother fucker have to hit the car on the passenger side? Why couldn't he hit the driver's side? Why didn't I buy the milk the night before? None of this would have happened if I could've waited an extra ten minutes to get my dick sucked. Justin had promised me he was waiting with a fucking surprise if I'd get home early. I was so fucking anxious to get to Justin, I forgot his milk. Now I won't be fucking getting my dick sucked for two months. I should have taken five minutes and gotten the milk and then come home. Justin wouldn't have cared if I was five minutes late for our rendezvous. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say._

He put the money into the machine and hit the button for Pepsi. He saw the coffee pot nearby and poured himself a cup of coffee, filling it with sugar and cream. Taking the beverages to the room, he set the soda on the tray and placed a straw in it.

He sat down and drank his coffee while Justin ate his second dinner. Justin picked up the burger with his good hand and managed to eat it with little difficulty. He attacked the fries and drank the Pepsi. He was almost finished within ten minutes of Brian's arrival.

“Guess dinner was really lousy or you’re pregnant,” Brian teased.

Justin laughed at Brian's levity, but then gasped at the pain, “Don't do that. It hurts to laugh,” Justin whispered.

Brian turned white, wincing at Justin's discomfort. “Do you need drugs?” he asked.

“No... I'm good. I'm just going to have to get used to this. The nurses said they don't bind the broken ribs anymore because it’s too constricting. She said it starts to get better in a few weeks and after several months, I won't feel a thing,” Justin explained in his PSA voice.

“Glad to know that you have all the necessary information,” Brian snarked. He drank the last of his coffee, throwing the cup in the trash. “I need to go see Mikey before visiting hours are over. Be back in a while.” He leaned down and touched his forehead to Justin's forehead and said, “Later.”

“Later,” Justin repeated and gently shook his head. He closed his eyes as silent tears fell down his cheeks.

Brian walked down to Mikey's room and found Michael sitting up in bed, pillow propped under his leg and the bed tray over his bed where he could easily reach things.

On the tray was a current copy of Rage, the familiar pad of yellow paper that Michael always carried so he could write notes about new storylines, and his cell phone. Several plants and balloon arrangements adorned the corners of the room, and someone had brought a weird cactus that looked like a giant cock.

Brian hadn't bothered to knock on Michael's door either. They'd been friends forever and there were few secrets. Mikey had asked Brian about barebacking Justin, but Brian refused to acknowledge their personal life. Brian thought Mikey knew the answer, but he didn't like to discuss Justin and his sex life, especially when he knew that Michael envied them the possibility of barebacking, something that he and the professor could never enjoy.

“Jesus, it looks like a funeral home in here. There's enough flowers and plants for a dead guy,” Brian half-joked.

“No one died, but last night... I wish they could have put me out of my misery. I now have a better appreciation for your pain when you broke your leg. It hurts like hell,” Michael admitted.

Brian winced in sympathy. “I just had a cast. Unfortunately, the real pain is when you go home.”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked innocently.

“Mikey, your bedroom is upstairs. How are you going to get up there? How are you going to take a shower? You don't have a walking cast--I recognize the lack of a walking stump. You can't crutch up a flight of stairs and you can't stand for a shower.”

Michael nodded and looked solemn. “Oh shit!”

Brian walked over to the bed, gently hitting Michael on the arm. “Never fear, Rage is here to rescue Zephyr. I stayed in the loft after I got out of the hospital. We weren't living at Britin. Remember, Justin and I weren't exactly together at the time.”

Michael shook his head as he remembered that time over seven years ago. “Hard to believe that it's been seven years. It seems that you two have always been together,” Michael observed. He pushed the pillow under his leg, trying to get relief from the heavy cast. He sat up straight and squiggled in the bed as well, finally getting comfortable again. “So, how does that solve my problem, Rage?” Michael joked, enjoying the banter.

“You can stay at the loft until you get a walking cast. Stay there longer if you'd like. Justin and I only use it when we're in town for the evening, for business or a rare visit to Babylon. I doubt we'll be doing either for a while. Broken ribs kind of put a damper on dancing,” Brian explained. Brian walked over to the cactus, examining it from all sides. He picked up the card, seeing that it was from Ted and Blake.

_I think Ted still has latent feelings for Mikey, but I'm not going there. He has a good thing with Blake and they're happy. Makes for a good employee, so I won't complain._

Michael looked at his friend, wide eyed and innocent. “You'd let us stay in the loft?”

“I offered, didn't I.”

“Love you, Brian,” Michael exclaimed.

“Me too. Always have, always will,” Brian repeated the oft-stated phrase. He leaned down, giving Michael a kiss on the lips.

“I'll talk to Theodore and see if he can find the ramp and the shower chair. They really will come in handy, Michael.”

“Thanks, Brian,” Michael said as he pushed the button for the nurse. “Time for more meds and I'm getting tired. Say ‘Hi’ to Justin for me,” Michael yelled out as Brian left the room.

Brian returned to Justin's room and noticed the plants and balloons there as well. “Hi Sunshine. Michael says ‘Hi’. Between the two of you, I think the gift shop won’t have any flowers or balloons left.” He walked around the room looking at the gift cards attached to the items. “Hmm, this is from Cynthia, this is from Ted and Blake, this from Em and Drew, this is from Rosa, the housekeeper, and this is from Sidney Bloom. Did anyone you know not send you flowers or balloons?” Brian teased.

“You didn't, but I wouldn't expect you to,” Justin answered with a smile. “It's much easier to send flowers than to visit someone in the hospital. Don't you think, Brian?”

“Twat. You know I learned my lesson a long time ago. I'm not going to be making surreptitious visits to you in the middle of the night. Besides, after my fiasco the other night, I wouldn't ever get to see you if I tried that.”

“Good thing you learned your lesson, Mr. Kinney. I would hate to discipline you.” Justin raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Brian walked over to Justin's bed and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Now, you should behave. You can't do anything here and I don't want you hurting yourself with a hard on that you can't take care of. We'll just have to see what we can do when we get you home.” Brian straightened up and sat in the chair.

“How was your day? Did Jose come back and work with you again? Can you go home tomorrow as promised?”

“One question at a time. I slept a lot during the day. They still are giving me nice drugs to stave off the pain from the ribs, but they've told me that when I leave, I'll only get some Darvocet. Maybe you can supply me with weed for a few months. Staying high for two months straight certainly has its advantages,” Justin winked at Brian. He drank the last of the soda and motioned for Brian to take the trash off the tray. “Jose came back and he said he would sign off on my chart. I guess it’s up to the docs to let me go. What did you do today?”

Brian sat down in the chair after he pulled it to Justin's bed. He took Justin's hand in his own and caressed the arm with his fingers. “I went to Kinnetik and met with Cynthia and Theodore. They both say ‘Hi’, by the way. Then I went to the diner. They have the worst food. Remind me why I eat there,” Brian teased as he gave a tentative smile.

“Good,” I'm glad you listened to me. Are you ready to be at my beck and call?”

“Of course not. I've hired a live-in companion who will meet your every need while I go off and get my dick sucked,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek. “There's no place I'd rather be. Well, that's not exactly true. I'd rather spend the next two months with my cock up your ass, but seeing how that is not going to happen, I guess this will have to do. Think you can put up with me for that long, Justin?”

“Some questions don’t need answers. How is Michael?”

“Michael has a room that rivals yours. I swear, the two of you should have bought stock in the flower and balloon market. He has a broken leg. I offered him and the professor the use of the Loft for the next few months. I had to explain to him that his beautiful home in the Stepford neighborhood was not conducive to a broken leg.”

Justin smiled at Brian's playful mocking. “I hadn't thought of that,” he admitted.

“Of course. I am the powerful Brian Kinney and think of everything.” Brian waved his hand.

Justin laughed, and held his ribs. “You as the powerful wizard is something I cannot wrap my head around. While the experts say that laughter is the best medicine, they obviously didn't have broken ribs.”

A knock on the door interrupted their banter. “I'm sorry, sir. Visiting hours are over. You 'll have to come back tomorrow,” the nurse explained.

Brian looked at the clock on the wall.

“Night Sunshine. I'll be back tomorrow. What time are they going to spring you?”

“I don't know, but I hope early. If I have to eat any more hospital food... Night, Brian.”

Brian went over and kissed Justin on the lips, then leaned his forehead down in their familiar touch. “Later.”

“Later,” Justin repeated as he watched Brian leave. _We've come so far. This sucks, but at least he's here this time. He's handling the accident better than I ever imagined._

Justin buzzed the nurse and she assisted him in positioning his pillows so he could comfortably sleep. She gave him a pain killer and he fell into a blissful sleep.

Brian left the hospital, went to the grocery and returned home. He put away the food, checked the mail and fixed himself a drink. He finished the drink and poured another one. He drank that one and took the bottle to the couch, where he passed out after drinking the remainder of the liquor.


	5. Chapter 5

Brian woke with a hangover. _Shit. Well, I don't have to be at the hospital for three hours. Maybe if I work out, I’ll sweat the alcohol from my body and Justin won't know the difference. Why do I do these things?_

Getting on the treadmill, he ran six miles, and then did 100 sit ups and push ups. After drinking a bottle of water to replenish his body, he felt invigorated and walked to the shower to get clean. Dressing in a pair of worn blue jeans and a black turtleneck, he admired himself in the mirror. _You've still got it Kinney._ He poured himself some Guava juice and toasted two pieces of wheat bread. He checked CNN's website as he ate and looked at the financial pages as well. Brown Athletics and Liberty Air were both doing well and he thought Justin could help him with some concepts for the upcoming fall campaigns, since he wouldn't be able to paint his normal canvas for a while. Brian hoped it would keep him occupied.

He placed his dishes in the dishwasher, grabbed his keys and drove to the hospital. Walking into Justin's room, he found Justin dressed and sitting in a chair.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You ready to go?” Brian asked hopefully.

“No. Doc hasn't been here yet. What took you so long?”

“I ran this morning. Figured I would be busy for a few days,” Brian said with a toothy grin.

“Don't I even get a good morning kiss?” Justin half-whined.

“Oh, if you insist. Demanding little man aren't you?” Brian teased as he walked to Justin's chair and gave Justin a quick kiss.

“Last time I checked, you weren't complaining,” Justin teased.

Brian felt Justin's crotch and his cock started to swell.

“Brian, don't. The doc will be here any minute. Save it for when we get home,” Justin admonished.

“Since when did you become a prude? I'll save it for you, but only because I like you.” Brian stood up and turned toward Justin. “Since you're not ready to go, I'll go see Mikey; it’ll get everyone off my back.”

Justin grinned at Brian's see-through explanation. “You do that. I'm not going anywhere. What room is he in? I'll come down if they release me.”

“They won't let you come down on your own. They fucking made me take a wheelchair to the entrance of the hospital when they released me. I had to endure the indignity of being pushed in a chair, only to stand up once I got outside the sliding doors to walk back up to the fifth floor,” Brian stated, his experience exaggerated in Kinney fashion.

Justin laughed, but stopped as he held his side. “I would have loved to see that. Shame they don't have videotapes at the hospital entrance like they do the drive-thru,” Justin teased.

“Twat,” Brian called out as he walked out of the room.

He walked to Michael's room, where he found Jose talking to Michael and Ben.

“Hi Brian,” Jose greeted him and then turned back to his patient. “You did really well on your first session, Michael. Remember, it will be very important to not put any weight on your leg for at least two weeks. You broke it in several places and it’s being held together with plates and screws. Any weight could shift the hardware and you could end up with a crooked leg,” he carefully explained.

“Better listen, Mikey. He knows what he's talking about,” Brian chimed in.

“You still need to learn how to transfer from your chair to the toilet and to practice transferring to cars or other chairs,” Jose explained as he motioned to the wheelchair. Looking at Ben, he said, “I'll need to teach you safe ways to transfer Michael. You obviously work out, but you can still hurt yourself if you aren't doing the transfers correctly.”

“I think the best thing is to stay in the wheelchair, Michael. You need to make sure and call me when you need to transfer. I don't want you hurt,” Ben stated matter of factly.

“I'm not a five year old,” Michael whined. “I get it. Stay off the leg for at least two weeks,” Michael repeated. “So when can I go home?”

“Usually they have you stay a few days after surgery, but you'll have to ask your doctors. I can't sign off until I feel you’re safe to transfer.”

“Thanks, Jose,” Ben said as he shook Jose's hand.

“No problem. I'll see you again this afternoon.” Jose walked out of the room.

Brian walked over to the window and looked out at the street, a habit that he frequently indulged in. “Have you heard from Theodore? Did he find the shower chair and ramp?”

“He called this morning. He found them in the storage area of the loft and brought them up. Are you sure you don't mind us staying there, Brian? It's your home,” Michael asked again.

“Mikey, you can't go home to Stepford Avenue. The loft is accessible and we'll be at Briton. It isn't a big deal. Besides, Debbie can pop in to check on you without leaving the neighborhood,” Brian explained.

Michael groaned. “I didn't think about that. Maybe we should rent a hotel for a few weeks, honey,” Michael batted his puppy dog eyes at his spouse.

Ben and Brian laughed at Michael's antics, knowing they were only for show. “I think it’s a great idea that we stay at the loft. Deb is close by if you need something while I'm in class and Hunter can come down on his lunch hour. The Youth Center is not far from the Loft and as the director, he has some leeway in his work hours,” Ben explained.

Michael pouted a little, but it appeared to only be in jest. “I guess it is a good thing that I hired Sam to work in the store full time. He really does a great job.” Michael looked at Brian staring out the window, his hand close to his mouth so he could put his thumb by the top of his teeth.

“Brian, is everything okay? You're awfully quiet,” Michael asked solicitously.

“I'm fine. Just peachy. Why wouldn't I be? Justin and you are okay, although it looks like it might be a day or so until you get released, and I won't have to visit this goddamned hospital,” Brian snapped.

“Okay,” Michael said, acquiescing to his friend's reply.

“I've got to go, Mikey. Professor, you take good care of him. Do you need anything? I had the cleaning service come by the Loft and I’ll call the grocery to deliver food when you get sprung. Didn't want you to rely on Debbie's casserole for all your nourishment,” Brian informed them.

“You didn't have to do that, Brian,” Ben remarked.

“Believe me, professor; you'll be glad you don't have to shop. You'll have your hands full taking care of Michael. Unfortunately, my broken leg is not the distant memory that I would like it to be,” Brian explained as he turned toward Michael. He touched his forehead with Michael's, kissed him briefly on the lips. “Gotta go. Hopefully the doctor has deemed it okay to release Justin from this hell hole.”

Brian walked back to Justin's room, plastering a fake smile on his face. “Doc come in yet?” he asked hopefully.

“He just left. The nurse is bringing my chariot as we speak. Why don't you go get the car?” Justin suggested.

“See you downstairs.” Brian kissed Justin quickly on the lips and went to get the car. Driving it to the front circle, he parked it and got out to wait for Justin. Justin arrived a few minutes later. He attempted to stand up from the wheelchair, but found he had a difficult time pushing up out of the chair. Brian recognized the struggle, and leaned over to assist him.

Justin moaned in pain.

“I've got you,” Brian whispered. “Don't fight it.” He gently helped Justin get up and then Justin walked to the car. Brian opened the car and Justin got in with difficulty. Brian leaned over and buckled his seat belt, stopping to brush a quick kiss on his lips. He closed the door and walked around to the driver's side, opened the door and let himself in.

“Why don't you close your eyes and rest,” Brian suggested.

“I think I'll keep them open. Last time I did that, I woke up in the hospital,” Justin commented matter of factly.

“Shit!” Brian cursed.

“It's okay, Brian. I know you're just trying to take care of me. That's who you are and I wouldn't have it any other way. Now why don't you worry about driving and I'll look at the scenery. The snow on the ground is pristine.”

Brian drove to Britin, following the speed limits and taking the curves slower than normal. Oftentimes he used his drive to West Virginia to brainstorm about campaigns, but today his mind was 100% on the road and getting his passenger home safely. They arrived at Britin a little after 1:00 p.m.

He walked around to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for Justin. Leaning down, he gently grabbed Justin by the waist, lifting him out. Justin took a deep breath prior to Brian's help and that seemed to help with the pain. Once out of the car, he could walk to the house. Brian unlocked the door, allowing Justin to enter first. Justin walked to the media room, sitting in the recliner, where he pushed the chair back.

“It's easier to lay back a little with these ribs,” he explained. His stomach growled loudly.

“Ah, I see I must feed the monster,” Brian teased. “Would you like a sandwich?”

“Sounds fine. Breakfast was watery eggs and dry toast. Maybe two sandwiches?” Justin suggested.

“Sure. I'll go fix us some ham and cheese sandwiches. Here's the remote.” Brian handed Justin the control and went to the kitchen to fix lunch. When he returned to the media room, Justin was sound asleep in the chair. He took the throw off the back of the couch, laying it on Justin's sleeping form. He sat on the couch and ate his sandwich while he watched his partner rest. Justin appeared to be sleeping very soundly, so he took the sandwiches and placed them in plastic bags and put them in the refrigerator. He checked on Justin again. Seeing him still asleep, Brian grabbed his briefcase and laptop and brought them into the media room so he could work.

Brian sat on the couch since there were no desks in the room. They had designed the room as a recreational get away and purposely filled it with overstuffed couches, two recliners and a futon recliner. Brian smiled as he looked at the room. Justin had the right idea when they had decorated this room. Each piece of furniture had been initiated multiple times and he could see the two of them everywhere. There wasn't a bad seat in the room; anywhere they sat they could see the big screen and be comfortable.

Brian had slides of contact boards for the latest Targus account and he critically reviewed the art work on each slide. _If Justin had done these slides, I wouldn't be giving them such a critical eye. The man has a gift for presenting the unusual. I know his talents would be wasted in advertising, but it sure would make my life so much easier._ He made notes on the changes he wanted and booted up his computer to check his email. When he was at Kinnetik yesterday, he hadn't taken the time to do so and knew that he would probably have at least a hundred messages to wade through since he'd been gone for almost a week. He and Justin had taken a mini working vacation to New York, prior to the Comic-Con. Justin needed to see Sam about his upcoming show and they caught **Anthony and Cleopatra** and **Suddenly Last Summer** while in town. Justin had an affinity for the theater and Brian indulged him when they went to New York.

He turned down the sound on the computer so he wouldn't wake Justin, and clicked on the first message. He'd read about half the messages when he heard Justin shifting in his chair. He placed his laptop on the end table and walked to the kitchen to grab Justin's sandwiches.

Justin opened his eyes just as Brian returned with the sandwiches. “Hey, that was quick,” he commented.

“Not really, Twat. You've been asleep for an hour,” Brian teased.

“No shit?” Justin questioned Brian's statement.

“No shit. Do you think you can eat reclining like that?” Brian asked as he eyed the angle of Justin's chair.

“Probably not,” Justin agreed. “I'll push the foot rest down.” Justin attempted it and only winced slightly at the movement. “I never realized how moving involves all my body.”

“Just be careful--don't want you puncturing a lung. I never realized how far we are from a hospital. It took almost forty five minutes to drive here.”

Justin looked at Brian with a slight grin, “You goof. The hospital is two miles down the road.”

“What?” Brian answered, perplexed.

“You obviously don't travel beyond the turnoff to Britin. If you keep going down the street, you'll find a shopping center and a hospital.”

“I knew you were good for something. Are you hungry? I've got your sandwiches.” Brian handed Justin his plate and Justin placed it in his lap. He picked up the sandwiches with his good hand and didn't appear to have any difficulty eating. “Can I have a drink?” Justin asked.

“I'll see what's in the pantry. I called Rosa and asked her to shop for us, but I have no idea what she bought.” Brian went into the kitchen and found soda, placing some in the fridge to get cold. He saw several individual bottles of chocolate milk and decided that would be acceptable.

“Have some chocolate milk. It was the only thing cold.” Brian said, bringing over a TV tray for Justin to place his bottle on, placing it on his good side. “Need anything else? Pain meds? A blow job?”

Justin smiled at Brian's antics. “Only you would offer me pain medication within the same sentence as a blow job.”

“You told me I was at your beck and call and I wouldn't want you to be deprived,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

Justin shook his head. “Well, sex does provide the body with endorphins, which are the body's natural pain relievers,” Justin explained as if he was repeating some lecture in biology class.

“Now I see how you got that 1500 on your SAT. So I repeat, do you need anything? Pain meds? A blow job?”

“I'll take a rain check on the blow job, but pain meds don't sound so bad.” Justin answered and then finished eating his second sandwich. “The nurses told me to make sure I eat before taking them since they would make me sick. The last thing I want is to be throwing up in my condition.”

“That is not a picture I really want to see. Thank you for that lovely visual.” He took the plate and the empty bottle of milk and brought them to the kitchen, and then went to the foyer where he had placed Justin's medication. He grabbed the bottles and brought them back. “What did you take this morning?”

“I took the Darvocet. I can take the Ibuprophen now and the Darvocet in two hours,” Justin explained.

Brian took out a large white pill and gave it to Justin, along with a large glass of water. “You're sure Darvocet is okay? You're not allergic to it?”

“No. I discussed the meds with the doctor this morning” Justin stated. “You would have known if you'd been there,” Justin reminded him.

Brian winced at the jab, but didn't respond. _I'm glad he doesn't know why I wasn't there. He'd be so pissed. ___

Justin swallowed the pill and leaned the chair back, waiting for it to take effect. Brian watched Justin's face relax as the medication took hold of his body. He covered Justin’s body again with the throw and gently kissed his lips. “Sleep Sunshine,” he whispered.

Brian returned to his emails and was happy when he had waded through them. The sun was starting to set by then and he decided he'd done enough work for the day. He knew tomorrow he would have to really put in more hours, but he wanted to make sure Justin was settled before spending a lot of his time running Kinnetik. He was thankful that Ted and Cynthia knew the business so well and he could trust them to run things without him. They'd done a superb job when he had his incident seven years ago and he was certain that this time would be no different.

He decided that he should find something for dinner. It wasn't that he didn't know his way around a kitchen like most people thought, he just didn't like the mess that cooking made. He preferred his surroundings pristine, and cooking was always messy. He thoroughly enjoyed Justin's cooking and he assisted him numerous times in the kitchen. It was always understood that Brian would help with cooking, and to set the table, but he would not do clean up. He occasionally helped dry the dishes, but that was why he bought Justin a $1000 dishwasher and preferred he use that instead.

Brian went into the kitchen and looked in the freezer for some food. Finding a bag of chicken, he took out two breasts and put them on a plate, and placed them in the microwave to defrost. While it was thawing he got out the sun-dried tomatoes and artichokes from the refrigerator. Placing them in a small pan, he put a tablespoon of olive oil in the pan and cooked the tomatoes and artichokes until they were warm. The microwave dinged and he took out the chicken, adding it to the pan. He cooked the chicken for ten minutes on each side and placed each breast on a plate. He left the plates in the oven and then turned the oven to warm.

Returning to the media room, he saw that Justin was getting restless again, a sign that he was waking up. He opened his eyes and sniffed. “Smells good. Don't tell me you cooked?” Justin teased.

“Then I won’t tell you, but there are two chicken breasts with artichokes and sun-dried tomatoes in the oven at this moment, and I don't see Rosa anywhere in sight,” Brian replied, tongue-in-cheek.

“Thank you. I know you hate to cook,” Justin replied, genuine delight in his voice.

“Don't get used to it. Now why don't you sit up and I'll bring in the food,” Brian directed.

Justin sat up again and Brian brought him his dinner. Brian brought over a lap tray that had bean bags in the bottom. This allowed the tray to conform to Justin's lap and yet give him a flat surface to place the plate. Justin looked at the food and then looked at Brian.

“Can you cut my chicken for me?”

Brian nodded and took the plate. He cut up the chicken in bite-sized pieces. “I didn't think. Here you are,” he said as he handed Justin the plate again. “Here's a bottle of water too. I'm sure you're thirsty.”

Justin ate a few bites of chicken. “This is good. Who knew you could cook?”

“Of course it’s good. I have many talents, I just don't show them all,” Brian said as he looked at Justin. “You done?”

“Yeah. I'm going to watch some TV. Want to join me?” Justin asked as he pushed the remote to turn the TV on.

“Sure. You want to watch a movie or just the tube?” Brian inquired as he got up to look at their choices.

“I don't care. Why don't you choose a movie? I think I can sit on the couch with you while we watch. I miss you,” Justin said.

Brian held his gaze. “Sounds good. Why don't we watch **Live Free or Die Hard?** ”

“Okay. Can you help me up? It’s a little hard to get up out of the chair,” Justin suggested.

Brian helped him up and Justin walked to the couch to sit down. “That wasn't so bad. I just have to be really careful.”

Brian put the movie in the player, and they began to watch the movie.


	6. A Little Healing

Justin was seated on Brian's left side, and he leaned into his chest, enjoying the closeness of his partner. They watched the movie in relative silence, even though both men had already seen it. Justin purred and Brian turned his head toward him.

“What's with the noise? It sounded like a cat?” Brian said lazily.

“I'm no cat, just content. It's nice leaning against you, watching a DVD with no interruptions. Everybody is still visiting Michael and content to leave us alone. It's just really nice to have you all to myself,” Justin explained.

“I see. So you want me all to yourself?” Brian said mischievously.

“Brian, I love you and we have a great life, but sometimes I want to get off the merry-go-round and sit and smell the roses. When I was a kid, my mother used to read me a story called _Ferdinand the Bull_. It was about this bull that was bred for the bullfights, but all he wanted to do was sit in the pasture and smell the flowers. He wanted to enjoy the little things in life,” Justin said as he leaned forward to give Brian a quick kiss.

“So I'm ‘the little things in life’,” Brian teased.

“You know that nothing on you is little. I'm just saying…,” Justin attempted to explain.

“I get it, Justin. Our lives are very full. You have your painting and the frequent trips to attend the various openings and art showings that are a part of your world. I have Kinnetik and the numerous meetings, both in town and out that are required in my business. We also have a large extended with many functions that we often attend, everything from school plays to soccer tournaments, and there isn't a lot of down time. Do you want our lives to be different?” Brian asked sincerely.

Justin thought for a few moments before answering, “Maybe. No. I don't know,” he stammered.

“Well Sunshine, for the next few weeks it will be very different. You won't be going anywhere but these four walls, or rather this half acre. Maybe after spending that much time not going anywhere, you'll sing a different tune,” Brian answered, tongue-in-cheek. “Shall we finish the movie or are you ready for bed?”

“Finish the movie. I've only seen it three times, and I need to know how it ends,” Justin teased Brian, knowing his penchant for watching the same movie numerous times. “I'm feeling good right now and I'd like to stay up as long as possible.”

They watched the end of the DVD, then Brian put it back in the case, and placed it on the shelf. Gathering the dirty dishes, he brought them to the kitchen, placing them in the sink for Rosa to wash tomorrow. He checked the locks on the doors and set the security alarm, then grabbed Justin's pills and several bottles of water, and returned to the media room.

“Ready for bed?” Brian inquired.

“I'm beat. Who would have thought that watching TV could be so tiring?” Justin said as he attempted to get up. Finding it impossible to use his forearm for assistance, he asked, “Bri, a little help, please.”

Brian wrapped his arm lightly around Justin and helped him up.

“Thanks,” Justin said as he let out his breath. “At least I can use the railings on the stairwell for leverage,” he commented. Justin walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. “Think I can take a shower? I feel really gross,” Justin said hopefully.

“Sure. Let me get the plastic wrap to wrap your cast. At least your arm is so much smaller than my leg. Pull your good arm out,” he directed. With Brian holding the shirt out, Justin pulled his good arm out with little difficulty. Brian pulled the shirt over Justin's head and then slid it down his broken arm.

“That was easy. Where'd you learn that trick?” Justin inquired.

“Remember broken collar bone? Liberty Ride? Ahh, that's right. You left for Hollywood shortly after my little fiasco. Well, you learn a lot of survival techniques when you have to,” Brian commented without judgment. He brought out the plastic wrap and wrapped Justin's arm and then turned on the water for the shower. “At least you can stand in the shower. I never felt clean when I had to use the shower chair.”

Brian helped Justin take off his pants and stripped off his own clothing as well. They stepped in the shower and Justin stood under the spray.

“Ahh, heaven,” Justin sighed.

“And here I thought I was heaven,” Brian teased. “Turn around so I can get your back,” Brian directed. Brian grabbed the body wash, squirting some on the sponge and washed Justin's back. He kissed his neck, giving light kisses to the exposed flesh. He washed his arms next and then put the sponge on the shelf and grabbed the shampoo. He poured some in his hands and began washing Justin’s hair.

“I love when you wash my hair. It gives me tingles all over.” Justin shivered as Brian kissed his neck.

“Turn around so I can rinse your hair out.” Brian reached over Justin and rinsed his hair. When he was finished, he kissed his blond on the lips.

Justin moaned his pleasure into Brian's lips. He wrapped his hands around Brian's waist, but felt his collarbone shift and his ribs protested the movement. “Ahh,” he yelled, the pain searing through him. He dropped his arms immediately and attempted to take a few shallow breaths, his face turning ashen white.

“Easy, easy,” Brian urged. “We're almost done. Let me wash the front of you and then you can take some more pain pills.” Brian quickly washed Justin’s torso and groin area, not lingering as he usually would in that sensitive area. He grabbed the shower hose, unhinged it from the holder and ran the water quickly over Justin. “You're done.” He reached behind Justin and turned off the water, opened the shower door and grabbed a towel from the warmer.

He gently dried Justin, patting down his torso with bare touches to avoid any additional pain. He draped the towel around Justin's shoulders and tied a second one around his waist to keep him warm. He grabbed a towel from the rack and quickly dried himself. Justin walked to the bed and Brian took the towels off him, pulled back the duvet and Justin carefully got in bed. He remained sitting up until Brian handed him his pills and a glass of water. After taking his medication, he lay down and closed his eyes. Brian shut off the light and returned to the bathroom with the wet towels. He hung up the towels, brushed his teeth and combed his hair, and joined Justin in their bed. Justin lay on his back, the easiest position for his injuries. Brian draped his arm across Justin's torso, the closest action he could provide to holding him. They slept the entire night without waking.

*******

Debbie came to the hospital after her early morning shift. “Hi, Michael. How are you this morning?” she asked as she leaned down, giving him a large kiss on the cheek and then smearing off her lipstick.

“I'm fine, Ma. I had my first session with Jose, the therapist, this morning.”

“That's wonderful. So when are they letting you out of here?” she asked as she opened the blinds and grabbed one of his plastic wrapped cups. “These plants need watering or they'll die. I'll be right back,” she informed Michael and she disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a cup filled with water. She poured water into the plants, returning several times to the bathroom for more water. “There, that's better,” she proclaimed.

“I'm going to see Justin when I leave here. I understand that asshole Brian left the other night and didn't come back. It’s not right. He should be here with his partner,” she informed Michael.

“Ma, don't get involved. Brian and Justin are grown men and they’ll be fine. Besides, Justin went home this morning. Brian came to see me while they were waiting for the doctor to sign the papers.”

“Sunshine went home! That's wonderful. I'm sure Jennifer is relieved.” She walked to the bed and gave Michael a big kiss on the cheek.

“Ma,” Michael said exasperated. “Jennifer's relieved, but I'm sure Brian is very happy not to have Justin here. Did you know that he was in the same room that Brian was in after his incident?” Michael informed her.

“No shit!” Debbie paused for a moment. “Well, I'm ecstatic that he's home. I'll have to make some tuna casserole and take it over. Lord knows Brian isn't going to cook for Sunshine.”

Michael rolled his eyes, but chose to keep quiet. “So, how's Carl?” Michael asked, trying to change the subject.

“Carl's fine. He's been working a big case. Did I tell you that he's talking about retiring?”

“I hope his retirement isn't going to be like yours. I don't think anything more can fit in your place,” Michael jested.

“Michael Charles Novotny, I'll have you know that I had the Goodwill out just last month to pick up a donation,” Debbie defended. “We're talking about buying a Winnebago and driving all over the country. He's always wanted to travel.” Debbie walked around and looked at the cards in each of the arrangements. “Who is Peter? I don't know any Peter?” she questioned Michael.

“Peter's our publisher. When he heard about the accident, he was really upset. He called me and Justin to find out how we were. Personal calls, not his secretary.”

“That was nice. I'm glad you have other people besides the family who care about you.” Debbie continued to look at the cards. “This one is from the girls and JR. Gus didn't sign it?”

“Gus gave me the balloons. He told me that he didn't like flowers or plants and that hospitals were gloomy enough, so he thought balloons would cheer me up. He brought it by yesterday afternoon.”

“He's a good boy. The girls have brought him up well,” Debbie said.

“Brian's a good dad, too. He has a lot to do with how Gus is turning out. And to think he didn't believe he would make a good dad,” Michael defended Brian as he was used to doing.

“I guess he is. I never would have believed that Brian Kinney would make a good dad, but I guess you are right. Did the asshole come to see you?”

“Yes. I told you he came by this morning.”

“I guess I didn't hear you. Do you want anything? I'm going down to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. The food isn't nearly as good as the diner, but I gotta eat.”

“No thanks. I'm not hungry and Ben's going to stop by before his afternoon class to bring me a burger,” Michael explained. “Ma, why don't you go home and rest? I'm fine, and Jose will probably be back in a little while for more therapy. I think I'd like to take a nap,” Michael said in an attempt to get Debbie to leave.

She got up and kissed him on his cheek again, wiping off the lipstick. “If you're sure? I am a little tired. I had to be at work at 5:30 this morning. Carl is always trying to convince me to work just the lunch shift. He's so good to me. I hate that I met him because Jason died, but I guess everything has a reason.”

“Bye Ma. Say ‘Hi’ to Carl for me,” Michael offered as his mom left the room. He closed his eyes and rested for a while until Jose returned for his afternoon session.

After his session, Ben came by with the promised hamburger and fries. He placed them on the tray and pushed the tray to the bed. Michael picked up the burger and bit into it with relish. “This is so good. Thanks. I now really appreciate all the food that Justin used to bring Brian. Speaking of Brian, have you been by the loft?”

“Not yet. I planned on going after my class. I'm going by the house and picking up your toiletries, some clothing for both of us and my lecture notes. I know we'll be there for a while, so I want to have as many of our things as possible. Is there anything you want me to bring?”

Michael was quiet for a few minutes while he did a silent inventory of his home. “Yeah, can you bring me my current story notes of _Rage_? This accident will make a great story line. Rage saves Zephyr and JT from the evil car accident,” Michael mocked.

“Don't you think you should discuss that idea with Justin and Brian? It may be a little close to home,” Ben urged.

“Nonsense. If Rage could save JT from a bashing, surely he won't mind a car accident. Besides, we're both fine, if a little worse for wear,” Michael assured his partner.

“Okay, Michael. You've known Brian longer than any of us,” Ben acquiesced.

“He's my best friend. Of course I know him better than any of you. I'm just glad that he and Justin worked it out. I wasn't too sure about them at first and I really didn't think Justin would stick around after Brian’s incident, but I'm glad I was wrong.”

“Me too. Justin and Brian have a great relationship now, and Brian even admits it’s a relationship these days,” Ben remarked as he remembered the first years he knew the two men. “They've come a long way. I'm sure Brian having Justin as his Medical Proxy and giving him Power of Attorney made a huge difference.”

“Justin doesn't care about that stuff, but I guess it probably did make a difference. I know it made me realize how much Justin meant to him, even if they weren't together. I'm glad they figured it out,” Michael commented. “What are your plans for the evening, besides going to the house?”

“I figure that will take most of the evening. I promised Hunter I would stop by and see the plans for the extension to the Center. He's really done a great job with it. I'm so proud of him.” Ben smiled with fatherly pride.

“Who would've thunk that Hunter would be where he is today--head of the Youth Center,” Michael agreed, smiling with pride.

Ben leaned down to give Michael a hearty kiss on the lips. “I've got to get to class. I'll call you tonight. Love you,” he said as he walked out the door.

The place was quiet. _I can really appreciate Brian's comments about the hospital. It is a revolving door; between therapists, nurses, doctors and family, I haven't had twenty minutes to myself._

The aide brought Michael his dinner and he ate most of it. He flipped on the television and watched _and Family Guy_ before the nurse came in to give him his evening pain medication.

Several days later, Michael was released from the hospital. Ben had borrowed Drew's SUV to bring him home from the hospital. The trip was pretty uneventful as Brian had briefed them on the intricacies of getting into the loft. Michael used the wheelchair without complaining and was settled in the loft by mid-morning. Brian had come to assist, but found that his help wasn't needed.

“The fridge is stocked and the cleaning lady is scheduled to come by twice a week. If you need her more often, just tell me and I'll tell the service,” Brian reminded Michael and Ben.

“Brian, we're perfectly capable of cleaning up after ourselves. We don't have a service at the house,” Ben reminded him.

“Professor, the service comes regardless so don't complain.” He pointed out the ramp that was placed over the few steps leading to the bedroom. “It’s hard to roll up that ramp, Mikey. Better let the professor push you up.”

“Brian, thanks for all your help and letting us use your home, but I think we have it covered. Don't you need to be getting back to Justin?” Ben suggested.

“He's fine. Rosa is there with him. After I leave here, I'm going to Kinnetik for a few hours. Make sure that Theodore hasn't sold all my assets,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

“Okay. Thanks for coming. Are you bringing Justin tomorrow for Sunday dinner? Ma's bringing her lasagna and I know Justin will probably want to get out by then.” Michael reminded him.

“You kidding? Justin is not about to miss Debbie's lasagna. I'm sure he'll have cabin fever by then. See you, Mikey, Professor.” Brian opened the heavy door and walked to the elevator.

He spent a few hours at Kinnetik and then returned home to West Virgina. “Sunshine, I brought you a present,” he called out when he entered the home.

Justin walked into the foyer and looked at Brian. “Where? What'd you bring me?” he asked eagerly.

Brian brandished a bag from behind his back. “Lemon bars. I stopped by the diner and got a dozen for you.”

Justin smiled and took the bag from Brian. “Thanks. Rosa said dinner would be ready in an hour. I'll put them in the kitchen. Want to join me in the bedroom before dinner?” Justin waggled his eyebrows.

“Sounds like the best offer I’ve had all day,” Brian said as he licked his lips.

They walked up the stairs, closing the door behind them. “You sure, Justin? I don't want to hurt you,” Brian said hesitantly.

I haven't had any pain pills in two days and it’s been a week since the accident. The doctor said I should let my body be the judge of my actions, and my body is horny. I want you to suck me off. Maybe I can give you a hand job with my good hand. Sorry, real intercourse is still a ways off,” Justin apologized.

“Sorry's bullshit, Justin. Now come here and let's figure this out. How about you lay down on the bed, and I'll suck you off?”

Justin undid his pants, stepping out of them easily. Brian helped him remove his shirt and he lay down on the bed. Brian got undressed quickly and joined him. Brian licked his lips in anticipation. “You sure?” he asked one more time.

“Yes,” Justin hissed in anticipation. “Come on.”

Brian leaned down, sticking his tongue out to lightly lick Justin's crown. He laved the head with flat swipes of his tongue. Slowly he licked around the edges, swirling his tongue to give Justin immense pleasure. He heard Justin's moan of “mmmm” as he licked down to the bottom of the shaft. Justin spread his legs, giving Brian access to his balls. Brian held the balls, fondling each as he continued to worship Justin's cock.

“Ohh. So good. Yes, Brian, Brian…,” Justin moaned in pleasure.

“Enjoy it, Justin,” Brian urged. “I want to make you come so hard,” he whispered. Brian felt Justin's balls tighten and heard his breath come in short, sharp inhales. He sped up his ministrations, using his hand to pump the shaft as his mouth suckled the crown. Justin arched into Brian's mouth, shooting his load into Brian's mouth.

His breathing was short and he continued to pant afterward. Brian looked up, seeing Justin's ashen face lie against the pillow as the tears fell down his cheek.

“Justin!!!” Brian yelled. “Shit, Mother-Fucker. Justin!!”

Justin continued to cry, the pain of his chest almost unbearable. His breathing was labored. Brian grabbed the phone and dialed 911. He tossed his sweats on and ran down to the door to greet the paramedics.


	7. Pain Management

"Jesus fucking christ! I hope Justin was right when he said the hospital was only a mile down the road," Brian said to himself as he silently wished they were already helping his partner.

The paramedics came quickly and Brian brought them upstairs.

“I can't catch my breath,” Justin huffed as he tried to talk.

The paramedic looked at Brian for explanation. “He was in a car accident a week ago. He cracked some ribs and broke his arm and collar bone,” Brian yelled. “Please help him,” he pleaded.

The paramedic listened to Justin's lungs. “Lungs are clear. Good breath sounds. He hasn't punctured anything,” he announced to his partner. “Let's give him some oxygen and see if that helps.”

They placed the oxygen mask over Justin's mouth and nose and he inhaled, trying not to take too deep breaths. After a few minutes, Justin appeared to have an easier time breathing. He took the mask off and spoke to the paramedics, “Thanks. I think I'm fine, now.”

“Don’t you need to take him to the hospital?” Brian urged.

“No, sir. He seems fine,” the paramedic said as he listened again to Justin lungs. “He probably made a sharp movement and pressed his chest. If he has problems breathing again, call us. I think the pain just caught him off guard,” he explained as he started putting his equipment away.

Brian walked the paramedics to the door and returned to the bedroom. Justin was lying in bed with his eyes closed, but he opened them when Brian walked in.

“Hey,” Justin greeted Brian. “I think dinner might be ready now. Want to help me up?”

“You're not fucking going anywhere! You scared the shit out of me. I'll get Rosa to make you a tray and you can eat here.”

“To hell I will. I'm fine. I just got carried away. I've always said your talented tongue will be the death of me,” Justin teased.

“Ha ha, not funny,” Brian snarked.

“Will you help me up or do I have to do it myself?” Justin asked.

“I'll help you,” Brian agreed as he carefully got Justin out of bed.

They went downstairs and ate dinner, neither man talking much. After dinner, Justin went to the Media room where Brian helped him sit in the recliner and gave him the remote, a bottle of water and his pain pills.

Brian went upstairs, changed clothes and returned to the kitchen where Rosa was cleaning up.

“I'm going out,” he explained to Rosa.

“Sure, Mr. Kinney.”

“Justin is in the media room. Check on him. He took a pain pill earlier and should sleep for several hours,” he stated matter of factly, without emotion.

Justin was almost asleep as a result of the pain pills, but he turned toward the door when he heard Brian's footsteps. “Brian?” Justin asked without finishing the question.

“If you need anything, Rosa will get it for you,” he announced without going in the room.

Justin nodded his head as he understood Brian's message. “Be careful,” he said quietly.

Brian turned and left the room without saying another word.

Brian got in his car and drove into the city, mulling over the night's events. _I can't fucking believe I hurt Justin just so I could get off. This is so fucked! He deserves so much better. When am I going to learn not to think with my dick? At least the gang isn't going to be at Babylon questioning my presence. Drew and Em are still recovering from the football season and Ted and Blake rarely go to Babylon. I should be safe. Of course, Mikey and the Professor won't be here._

He parked his car in the VIP space; as owner he never had to park far from his playground. Passing the bouncer, he went into the club, assaulted by the smell of smoke, sex and loud music. He allowed the smells and sounds to wash over him, trying to gain the calm he so desperately sought. Making his way to the dance floor, he looked around, trying to locate his prey. Finding a hot brunet, he tapped him on the shoulder and started dancing with him. Soon the man was placing his arms on Brian's neck, attempting to pull him close to feel his stiff cock. Lost in the sensations, Brian closed his eyes, swaying to the music and relaxing as his current situation faded from his mind.

The trick pulled him close. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered in Brian's ear.

Brian registered the words, opened his eyes and pushed the trick back into the other dancers. He ran his hand over his hair and then scrubbed both hands over his face. _Fuck. Shit._ He pushed his way from the dance floor and made his way to the bar.

“A double Beam,” he told John, the bartender.

“Coming up, boss,” he replied as he placed the shot glass in front of Brian. “You alone? Justin in New York?” he asked innocently.

Brian looked at John, started to answer and then shut his mouth. He threw back the drink quickly and then ordered another. John shook his head and filled the order, then turned to another patron and handed him two beers. Brian drank the Beam quickly and pushed the shot glass back. John refilled the glass a third time but motioned for the security to watch Brian.

“Hey boss,” the muscled man said as he came up next to Brian.

Brian recognized the bouncer and walked up to his office where he could watch over his kingdom. He unlocked a cabinet in the room and took out his special stash of Jack Daniels. He drank straight from the bottle as he watched the dancers beneath him. After two drinks, he placed the bottle back in the cabinet, returning to the main section of the lounge As the liquor coursed through his body, he closed his eyes allowing it to ease his pain9.

He felt the wet tongue caress his cock; it swirled around his swollen cock head, teasing it with little nips and bites. His hands moved instinctively to pat Justin's head and he moaned in ecstasy. It had been a long time and his cock relished the attention.

“Yeah, Sunshine. That's it, do it,” he encouraged as he arched his hips into the warm, willing mouth.

The trick grabbed his cock, pulling and caressing the shaft as his mouth bobbed up and down. Brian felt the familiar tingling in his stomach and the small of his back that signaled his impending orgasm. He felt the ejaculate erupt from him.

“Justin. Justin, yes. Oh yes,” he cried. When his orgasm finished, he opened his eyes to look at his lover and saw the brunet he was dancing with earlier licking his cock clean.

“Dude, I don't know who Justin is, but you have a beautiful cock. Want to go to the back room and you can fuck me with it?” he asked innocently.

“Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Get out of my way,” Brian screamed. He put himself back in his pants and stumbled out of the club.

His security guard followed him. “I called the service for you, boss. They'll take you home,” he informed Brian.

Brian nodded and got into the car as it pulled up.

“Where to, Mr. Kinney?” the driver asked.

“West Virginia,” Brian said dejectedly. _What the fuck have I done?_ He lay his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, trying to get the latest nightmare out of his head.

The car arrived at Britin forty five minutes later. Brian couldn't get the picture of the trick licking his come from his mind. He signed the travel log and tipped the driver, and then quietly entered his home. The alarm could be disarmed from outside; therefore the noise wouldn't alert Justin to his presence. He walked into the Media room. _Maybe I'll sleep down here tonight. I won't disturb Justin and... Jesus Fucking Christ. How am I ever going to tell Justin? Not only tell Justin, but... I can't even think that far. Kinney, you are one sorry Bastard._

He flipped on the switch and there was Justin, lying in the recliner. He quickly shut off the light, praying that Justin did not wake up. For the first time this evening, he was granted a reprieve. Justin did not stir from his slumber. _Shit._

Brian exited the media room and went upstairs to take a shower. He stood under the spray until the water got cold, scrubbing his body, trying to rid it of the trick he inadvertently picked up. He dried himself and got into bed, where he lay for at least an hour before falling into a restless sleep. His internal clock woke him only one short hour after he fell asleep. He pulled the pillow over his head, trying to return to sleep, but his body, so attuned to waking at that hour, wouldn't allow it. He thought maybe he and Justin could take a nap later and that brought a smile to his face until he remembered the previous night's activities, and then he groaned out loud. Flipping the blankets off his body, he went to the bathroom to wash up and ready himself for the day. While he had showered the night before, he returned to the shower in an effort to wake his body. This time he did not spend an inordinate amount of time there, realizing that Justin should be up soon and he needed to check on him. He finished his routine, got dressed, and made his way downstairs.

He walked into the media room to check on Justin and found that he was still sleeping. Going to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and some toast, he found Rosa there, preparing breakfast.

“Morning, Mr. Kinney,” she chimed.

“Morning, Rosa. How was Justin last night?”

“Fine, Sir. He seemed a little upset that you left, but other than that, he didn't talk much. Will you be working from home today? I need to know how much food to prepare.”

Brian walked over to the large picture window in the kitchen and was staring at the snow-covered landscape. Justin often set up his easel in this spot and painted the scenery from this vantage point. It seemed so peaceful. He wished his mind was peaceful, but he knew that his actions had obliterated any chance of that happening any time soon. He did not hear Rosa's question until she tapped him on the shoulder and repeated her earlier question.

“Will you be here all day, Mr. Kinney?”

“I'm not sure. Don't fix anything for me. If I'm here, I can have a turkey sandwich or salad,” he replied.

“That's good. Is Mr. Taylor awake? He stayed up fairly late last night waiting for your return. I finally shut the lights out and encouraged him to sleep. He needs his rest so he can heal.” She returned to the island where she had taken out a bowl and cracked some eggs into it. “Shall I make you an egg white omelet, Sir?”

“Okay,” Brian answered as he ran his hand through his hair. “What time did he go to bed?”

“Oh, I don't remember the time exactly, but it was after 1:00.” She added the spices and a few pinches of cheese to Brian's omelet bowl before pouring the mixture into the pan. “Your omelet will be ready in a minute. Will you be eating in the kitchen or dining room?” she questioned Brian.

“Here is fine. I'm not really hungry,” he said as he went to the refrigerator to pour himself some guava juice.

He sat down and opened the paper that Rosa had left for him. He pulled out the financial pages and looked at the stock market information from the day before. Rosa placed the omelet on his plate and gave him a small plate with dry wheat toast on it as well. She left the kitchen and Brian ate his omelet as he read the paper. He brought the dishes to the sink and left them there. Even though Rosa was the housekeeper, he didn't like to see a mess and often picked up after himself rather than wait for her to do so.

He went to his office to work, firing up his computer to read any new emails, and to continue looking at the story boards from yesterday. He'd been working for at least two hours when his cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was Justin.

“Hey, you're up,” he teased.

“Hey. Can you help me get out of this chair?” Justin asked.

“Sure. I'll be right there.” _Shit. The moment of truth._

Brian went into the media room and walked over to Justin, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Morning, sleepyhead. I've been up for hours. It must be nice to be a man of leisure and sleep all day,” Brian teased. He walked in front of Justin, and gently wrapped his arm around his torso to help him up. “Do you want to eat first or get cleaned up?”

Justin's stomach growled at the mention of food. “I guess that's my answer. Why don't you go to the kitchen and I'll find Rosa. She said something about doing the laundry.” Brian left the room before Justin could begin a conversation. He found Rosa in the laundry room and informed her that Justin was up and would like some breakfast.

He went back to the media room and grabbed Justin's pills, taking them to the kitchen so Justin could take them with his breakfast. Brian returned to the kitchen, poured two cups of coffee and brought them to the table. He placed three packets of sugar in his cup and one packet in Justin's. He drank his coffee and didn't say a word to Justin.

Justin watched Brian and knew there was something on his mind since he continued to flit around and wouldn't look Justin in the eye.

“Brian...” He waited until Brian looked at him before continuing. “About last night… I just had a little panic attack. You don't need to freak out about it. Remember after the bashing, they happened a lot. I guess I should call Dr. Calhoun and get a new prescription,” Justin explained.

Brian looked at Justin. “A little panic attack, my ass! You couldn't catch your damned breath! That is not a little anything,” Brian almost yelled. “You're damn right you'll call Dr. Calhoun, but we're not trying anything until you're healed so you shouldn't need the medication. Still, it would be a good idea to have it on hand. Why don't you call after breakfast and I'll go down to the store and pick them up later today?”

“Okay,” Justin agreed. “Smells good, Rosa. What are you making over there?” he called out to the housekeeper.

“Your favorite--pancakes. They’re almost done,” she answered. She reached for a plate and put the pancakes on it. She brought the warmed syrup to the table and placed the plate of pancakes in front of Justin. “Sure you don't want any, Mr. Kinney? I've got plenty of batter,” she questioned Brian.

“No. One breakfast is enough,” he said as he patted his stomach. Brian took out Justin's pain meds and motioned to the bottle. “You going to take any of these now?”

Justin shook his head no. “I'm not in pain and I'd rather not. They just make me sleep and I don't like that. He continued to eat his pancakes and watched Brian as he slowly drank his coffee.

“Where did you go last night?” Justin asked innocently. “It was a little late to go see Gus again.”

Brian felt his pulse race and hoped he kept his voice neutral when he answered, “I went to Babylon.”

Justin felt a cold shiver run through his body at the mention of their club. “It was late to be looking at the books? Couldn't it have waited until this morning?” he asked hopefully.

“I didn't go look at the books,” Brian announced, hating the way this conversation was shaping up.

Justin nodded in acceptance. “I see.”

Brian stated matter of factly, “I danced and got drunk. Are you happy now?” he stood up and started pacing the room, unable to face Justin's scrutiny.

Justin watched his lover and partner pace like a caged animal, wincing at the obvious pain Brian was in. “Tell me you at least had the intelligence to take the service home?”

“Yeah. I have to call the service today to pick me up so I can get the car,” Brian admitted.

Justin finished his pancakes, taking some time before he continued the conversation. He drank his juice and coffee and pushed his plate away, signaling he was full. “Did it help?”

“Help? Help what? You are fucking starting to get on my nerves, Justin. Stop with the quiet acceptance and yell, scream, chastise me. For fuck's sake! React,” Brian stopped and confronted his partner.

Justin held in a laugh at Brian's tirade, knowing this was not a time to do so. “I think you are queening out enough for the both of us. I'll put it in plain English, Brian. Did your pain management techniques help? Do you feel better?” he asked quietly.

Brian sat down, putting his head in his hands. “No,” he said softly. “They did not help.”

Justin reached out to touch Brian's hand, but Brian pulled his hand away. Flipping his phone open, he called the service.

“I'd like a car right away,” he ordered and then turned toward Justin. “The car will be here in forty five minutes. If you want my help to get dressed, let's go.” He stood up, assisted Justin to stand and waited while Justin made his way up the stairs.

He helped Justin put on fresh clothing, but he didn't say a word or offer any gentle touches. Once Justin was dressed, he helped him stand up and watched while he walked down the stairs and returned to the media room. He handed Justin the remote, his pain meds, several bottles of water and a blanket.

“Later,” he said as he walked out without kissing him.

Justin watched Brian retreat and allowed the silent tears to fall down his cheeks.

Brian took the car service into the city and picked up his car. He didn't want to face Justin; therefore he went to Kinnetik.

“What are you doing here, Brian?” Cynthia asked as she saw her boss walk through the door.

“Last time I checked, I do work here. I had to come into town so I thought I would stop by. How did the Targus pitch go?”

Cynthia had many years of experience reading Brian Kinney's moods and recognized avoidance when she saw it; she just hoped Brian wasn't working in an attempt to avoid Justin. “It went fine, of course. The new ad exec, Tom, that you hired two months ago has made some inroads with the Nature's Bounty account. He’s scheduled to do a pitch next week.”

“I'll go down there and take a look. This is his first pitch with Kinnetik and I need to make sure that he has the company's good work behind him,” Brian announced as he started toward the art department.

“I saw the boards yesterday and they are great, but if you don't trust my judgment...” Cynthia stated. She picked up a file off her desk and began flipping through the papers.

“Of course I trust your judgment, Cynthia. This company wouldn't be where it is without you.” Instead of turning toward the art department, he moved toward his office. “I'll just pick up my messages off the phone and then I'll be on my way,” Brian said, accepting her ribbing.

“Good. I left several files for you to review. I had planned on taking them to you this afternoon, but since you're here, you;ve saved me the trip,” she said and then returned to her work.

Brian spent an hour at the office and left with his files and some new slides to review.

“Is Justin up to some visitors?” Cynthia asked as Brian started to leave the office.

“He'd like that. I'm sure it’s going to be very boring watching endless daytime TV. I may be there with him, but I can't keep him entertained. I have a business to run,” Brian explained.

“Good. Maybe I'll courier the work myself later this week, instead of sending the service. I could kill two birds with one stone,” she announced.

Brian smiled for the first time in what seemed like a long time. “You do that. See you later this week, Cynthia,” Brian said as he walked to his car, carefully putting the items in the passenger seat.


	8. Pain Management Again

Chapter 8  
He was at the office for a few hours and then drove his car home. He pulled the ‘Vette into the garage and came into the house. Rosa was cooking dinner and the smells wafting from the kitchen made his stomach growl.

“Mr. Kinney, would you like a sandwich or a salad? You must be hungry,” she asked.

“A turkey sandwich would be fine. I'm going to find Justin and I'll be back.”

Brian left the kitchen and went to the media room, but Justin was not there. He went upstairs and looked in their bedroom and it was empty also.

He called out, “Justin. Justin,” anxiously waiting for the reply.

He heard a muffled “In here” from Justin's studio and went in there. “What the fuck are you doing in here? Don't tell me you're trying to paint with your broken arm!” he questioned loudly.

“No, I'm not trying to paint, but I wanted to see if I could use the stylus on my paint program. After the bashing, I couldn't hold the brush for shit, but I could use the stylus. So I thought I'd try,” Justin explained with a smile on his face.

“And... what did you find out?” Brian asked hopefully.

“I don't have very good range because of the collarbone, but I can do a little sketching. I've been in here for about half an hour and I'm doing okay.”

“I see. Well, I'll leave you to your creativity. Did you get up by yourself?”

“Yep. I think I finally figured out how to maneuver out of my chair. I told you my injuries wouldn't be so bad,” Justin explained.

“Be careful. I don't want to have to call the ambulance again,” Brian warned. He turned around and returned to the kitchen to eat his sandwich.

Brian was pleased that Justin was able to draw, if only for a little while. He went to his office, pulled out his work and began to look at the slides. He was glad that Justin didn't question the length of his absence.

Brian worked for another two hours, looked at the time and returned to Justin's studio. Justin was asleep on the futon he kept there. Brian lay a throw over him and started to leave, but Justin woke up from the movement.

“Hey,” Justin said sleepily.

“Hey. You fell asleep,” Brian stated quietly, not wanting to wake Justin up fully.

Justin threw his legs over the side of the futon and arched his back. “Yeah, I guess I did. Been working all afternoon?”

“Yes. I figured you were busy, so I could work too. Got a lot done. Maybe I should work from home more often,” Brian stated.

“No, I don't think so. If I wasn't in this cast, you'd be after me all day long to fulfill your every fantasy,' Justin teased. “Speaking of fantasies, why don't you come over here and kiss me. It’s been all day since I had one of your kisses.” Justin gestured for Brian to sit on the edge of the futon.

Brian walked over, leaned down, and gave Justin a kiss on his forehead, but did not linger. “Come on, let's see what's for dinner. Do you need help to get up?”

Justin frowned at Brian's lack of affection, recognizing Brian's withdrawal, but said nothing. “I think I can do it myself, but stay there in case I need you,” he replied. Justin got up with little fanfare, blowing out his breath as he pushed up. “The trick is to blow gently when I get up so I don't push on the ribs. It’s a great trick.” He demonstrated the tactic once he was standing.

They ate dinner and retired to the media room.

“Netflix delivered several new DVDs today in the mail. We have the first three discs to Cheers or we could watch Star Wars. I know you said that was one of your favorite movies,” he said as he held up the two DVDs.

“Let's go with Cheers. Mikey loves Star Wars and it would feel wrong to watch without him. We've watched the movies so many times, it feels like I'm part of a Rocky Horror cast with all the lines we shout at the characters,” Brian explained.

“You've seen Rocky Horror? Did you dress up?' Justin teased.

“Of course I've seen Rocky Horror. It was a big thing when I was in college.” Brian took the DVD from Justin and put it in the player. Justin had sat down on the couch and Brian joined him, but kept his distance. Justin moved closer to Brian and Brian reluctantly allowed him to sit near him. Justin tried to lean into Brian, but Brian gently pushed him to sit up.

Justin scooted over to the side of the couch, but he gently scooted himself closer to Brian every few minutes. When he finally reached Brian's side, he leaned in and started to kiss Brian, but Brian pushed him away again.

“Justin,” Brian said, the frustration evident in his voice. “What part of ‘No’ don't you understand?”

Justin looked down and scooted away from Brian. While Brian watched the DVD intently, Justin tried to figure out what Brian's problem was.

After the DVD ended, Brian announced, “I'm going to bed. Do you want any help getting ready for bed?”

Justin opened his mouth to confront Brian, but realized he wasn't up to it. “You could put some toothpaste on my toothbrush.” he said quietly.

“Okay. Are you coming?” Brian yelled as he climbed the stairs, his feet heavy against each step as if he had a large burden to bear.

“I'm coming.” Justin got out of the chair and followed Brian up the stairs. He used the toothbrush Brian had prepared and completed his evening routine. Walking over to the bed, he used the technique Brian had shown him to get off his shirt and pushed his lounge pants down with his good hand.

Brian turned toward him as he finished kicking off his pants, pulling the duvet open for him to climb in. Justin got in, laying on his back. Brian got out of bed and turned off the light on Justin's side, and then made his way over to his side of the bed. He climbed in, pulled the duvet over himself and Justin and scooted to the edge of the bed, far away from Justin. He closed his eyes and practiced his breathing.

It took a long time for Brian to fall asleep. He could smell Justin and feel the tension in his partner's body, yet he could not bring himself to lay his arm protectively across his body. Exhaustion came over him and his body relaxed.

“I should kick your ass from here to Timbuktu and back,” Vic said as he walked into the room.

“Christ! Doesn't anybody knock anymore?” Brian said as he looked at the older man. “Haven't seen you in a while,” he casually remarked as if talking to a dead man was a normal occurrence.

“I thought my work here was done, but...”

“I don't fucking need a lecture, Vic. I screwed up,” Brian attempted to explain.

“One screw up would not be reason for me to come back and kick your ass, Brian,” Vic explained.

Brian looked at Vic as he walked around their bedroom, admiring the furnishings. “Nice place you have here, Brian. Phillippe Starck bed, and lounge with pristine walls adorned by Justin's artwork. Everything in its place. But, is everything in its place, Brian?”

Brian held his head in his hands as he softly answered, “No.”

“Things happen, Brian. Are you going to return to drinking, drugging and sex?” Vic questioned.

Brian did not answer.

“That was the old Brian Kinney. The one who used alcohol, drugs and sex to run away from his problems. I thought you had learned.”

“I caused this. If I had stopped the night before instead of being in such a hurry to get my dick sucked...” Brian didn't finish his statement.

“So this is your fault?” Vic asked, although he knew the answer.

“Of course, it’s my fault,” Brian responded as his eyes drilled into Vic.

“You made the car run the red light and hit you?” Vic questioned, hoping that Brian would see reason.

“No. Why would I do that? He was a jackass wanting to get somewhere fast.”

“Tell me again how you were at fault,” Vic urged.

“If I had gotten the milk the night before, we wouldn't have been in that intersection when the jackass came through,” Brian explained, a little exasperated that Vic couldn't follow his reasoning.

“I'm so glad that you cleared that up for me, Brian. I always thought that accidents were named that because they were not premeditated actions,” Vic remarked. He walked over to Brian, pulling his chin up, making Brian look him in the eye. “It was an accident, but you still didn't answer my question. Does your drinking, drugging and sex solve the problem?”

Brian looked down, despite Vic's continued hold on his chin. “No,” Brian said softly.

“Good. I'm done here. Take care of Justin.” Vic smiled and exited the room.

Vic was only gone a short while before Brian's internal clock woke him. Glancing around the room, he took in the bed and the lounge chair as well as the pristine walls with Justin's paintings. Fuck, I didn't imagine Vic in my dreams. Quietly, he crept out of bed, careful not to wake Justin. The last few days he had been helping Justin shower in the evening; however, he'd been preoccupied last night and had not offered. He didn't want to face Justin this morning, so he allowed him to sleep instead of offering to assist him in the shower. He quickly showered and finished his morning routine. He went to the kitchen, where he poured a cup of coffee in the insulated cup, sipping it while he located his briefcase and keys. He punched the garage door opener and got in his car. After putting on his seat belt, he backed out and drove to Pittsburgh.

 

He parked his car and walked to the diner, where he sat in the back of the restaurant.

Debbie came up to his booth, smacking her gum as usual. “You're awfully early today. Who's taking care of Sunshine?” Debbie questioned him with only a slight doubt in her voice.

“He's a grown man, Deb. He can do almost everything for himself. I have a business to run and I can't be at his beck and call. Now can I get some coffee and an egg white omelet? I have a conference call at 8:30,” he snapped.

“You better be taking good care of Sunshine, Brian,” Debbie reminded him.

“My food,” he repeated.

Debbie placed the order and left Brian alone. Unfortunately, Ted and Emmett showed up a few minutes later.

“Hi Brian,” Ted said as he scooted in the booth.

“Morning. It's lovely outside. The sun is shining and I hear it will be in the 40's today. I sure hope that winter is almost over. The cold weather really dries out my skin,” Emmett said with a flourish of his hand to his cheek.

Debbie walked over to the booth and poured each man some coffee. “What'll be Ted? Em?”

“I'll have the cheese omelet and hash browns,” Ted ordered and then took a drink of his coffee.

“I think I will have the Sunshine special. Two eggs–sunny side up, two slices of bacon and two pancakes. Drew got back in town last night and we burned a few calories. I have to rebuild my strength,” Em boasted casually.

Brian grimaced. “I do not need to know the specifics of your love life, Honeycutt,” he chastised Emmett.

“Oh, honey. I'm so rude. With Justin's injuries, I'm sure...” Em started to place his hand on Brian's, offering comfort.

Brian snatched his hand back quickly. “Justin and my sex life is none of anyone's business!” he stated firmly. “Now if you don't mind, I have a conference call in twenty minutes and I need to review my notes.” He took out his folder from his briefcase and reviewed the file.

Breakfast arrived, and Brian put the file back in his briefcase. He ate in silence. “I'll see you at the office, Theodore. The boss frowns on employees who are late to work.” After throwing money on the table, he walked to Kinnetik.

“Morning boss,” Cynthia greeted him as he walked in the door.

Brian did not return to the greeting. “I need the files on the Ice Mountain account. I want to look them over before my conference call,” he bellowed.

Somebody's a bear. “Sure Brian.”

The day flew by and Brian snapped at everyone who entered his office. He finished reading the last of the file on the Liberty Air account, and had picked up the file for Brown Athletics when he heard a knock on the door.

“It's after 8:00, Brian. I'll see you in the morning,” Cynthia informed him as she barely stepped in his office and then retreated before he could comment.

Brian looked at the clock on the computer, verifying that it really was 8:00 p.m. He stretched and thought about working for a little while, but decided he wanted a drink first. Shutting down his computer and locking the drawer, he grabbed his coat and walked into the lobby. He armed the alarm and walked to his car.

He threw his briefcase into the back seat and drove to Woody's. He left his coat and tie in the car and made his way to the bar. Ordering a shot of Beam, he drank it down in one gulp, and then ordered another. After three shots, he went to the pool table, picked up a cue, and shot a few balls. A tall brunet came up behind him.

“Wanna play?” he asked, the double-entendre evident in his voice.

“Sure. Rack 'em up,” Brian smiled.

They shot a quick game, Brian winning despite his three drinks. Ted came in shortly after the second game started and made his way to the table to watch.

“Good shot, Bri,” Ted commented after Brian shot his fourth ball in a row into the pocket.

Brian looked around, spotting Ted. “Theodore, where are your co-patriots?”

“Blake has group tonight and Em is out of town with Drew,” Ted explained. Ted looked at his watch. “How's Justin?” Ted asked, knowing that asking Brian if he should be at home was a bad question.

“Justin's fine. Now if you don't mind, I'm in the middle of a game and I would like to finish it in peace,” Brian snapped.

Ted recognized Brian's words as a defense mechanism and stepped back to watch in silence. He had become very fond of his boss, their tight friendship surprising him at first. Brian had always been the one he envied, but as he came to know the man, he realized that Brian's facade to the world was just that. Behind the mask was a man who had a rough childhood that left him with many scars. It was only now, after he had found Justin and had become a father to Gus, that he showed the caring side to his personality. Still, he had difficulty showing that side of himself, except to his closest friends. Ted was fairly certain that Brian was here at Woody’s because he was hiding from something; He just didn't know what that something was. He hoped that it had nothing to do with Justin, as he felt that Justin had a grounding effect in Brian's life; without him, Brian was truly lost. He vowed to keep an eye on his boss and friend, and intervene if needed. He realized that Michael would recognize Brian's needs and attend to them; however, Michael was injured and unavailable to “his best friend”. As he sipped his seltzer water, he watched Brian play two more rounds of pool and drink at least three beers. After the third round, Brian turned toward Ted.

“I'm leaving, Theodore. Go home to your wife. I'll be fine,” he announced as he tipped the bartender and walked out the door.

Ted followed him and ran to catch up. “You okay to drive, Brian?”

Brian stopped walking, looking at Ted. “Better call the service. Justin will be pissed enough as it is,” he responded as he ran his hands over his face.

Ted called the service and waited with Brian until they arrived. “See you tomorrow,” Ted called out as Brian got in the car.

Brian nodded his head and shut the door. “West Virginia,” he commanded and closed his eyes as the driver took him home.


	9. What's a Little Truth Between Friends

Chapter 9

It was after midnight when he arrived home. He disarmed the alarm, crept softly in the door, and reset the alarm. Hanging his keys on the hook, he looked around for his briefcase, realizing that it was still in his car. “Shit!” he cussed out loud. Looking around, he didn't see any lights on and hoped Justin had not been woken up by his entrance.

“Brian is that you?” came a groggy voice from the area of the media room.

Brian took several deep breaths, cursing that last beer he had, and walked into the media room, but did not put on the light. “It's me. Didn't mean to wake you. You want to go to bed?” Brian asked solicitously.

Justin squinted his eyes, rubbing at them with his good hand until he could open them fully. He looked at Brian, seeing he was still in his work clothing. “You just coming home?” he asked, concerned.

Brian thought about lying, but quickly decided that was not a good idea. “No, I've been at Woody’s. Played some pool,” he responded casually as he walked over to Justin, offering his assistance to get up.

Justin accepted his help, and recognized the familiar smell of alcohol on Brian's breath. “You've been drinking too,” Justin said, the accusatory tone only slightly hidden.

“Your point?” Brian snapped back.

“Did you drive home? Mikey wasn't there to take you under his wing,” Justin snapped back.

Brian finished helping Justin to a standing position and stepped back from Justin's angry voice. “I took the service home. Are you ready to go to bed? I'm beat and I have an early morning meeting.”

Justin's shoulders sank at Brian's response, but he refused to give in. “How early? I'd like help showering, unless you're too busy,” he snapped back.

Brian's guilt washed over him. He leaned over and gently kissed Justin on the lips. “I’m...” he started, but stopped before he finished his statement. “I'm not too busy, Justin. I'll help you shower and then I'll go to work.” He gently kissed Justin’s lips again and ran his hand over his good arm. “Let's go to bed. I'm beat.”

Justin reached for Brian's hand and squeezed it gently, and then leaned in to give him a warm kiss on the lips. They made their way up the stairs. Brian put toothpaste on Justin's toothbrush and brushed his own teeth, dampening down the liquor smell. He completed his evening ritual and walked out to the bedroom.

He waited until Justin left the bathroom and then without asking, helped Justin remove his shirt and pants. Standing behind Justin, he leaned his torso against Justin's back as he smelled his unique scent. He gently kissed his ears and neck while running his hand down Justin's good arm. “I wish we could do more, but for now, this will have to do,” Brian whispered in his ear. He walked in front of Justin, lightly pulling on his good arm to follow him to bed. Brian pulled back the duvet, shut the light, and then got in his side of the bed. He placed his arm over Justin's torso and both men fell asleep quickly.

When Brian woke in the morning, he was thankful that Vic had not visited him again. _Hopefully he will stay away. The old man is dead and he needs to stop his meddling visits._

Brian helped Justin in the shower as he promised, and then took his own shower. When both men were dressed, they went downstairs to eat breakfast. Rosa was there and cooked Brian an egg white omelet and made Justin pancakes.

“Kinnetik still standing?” Justin joked as he poured syrup on the short stack.

“Of course. Cynthia and Theodore are doing a fabulous job. They even landed a new account while we were on vacation,” Brian boasted on their behalf. He pulled Justin's plate toward him and started to cut the pancakes.

“I can do it, Brian. Pancakes are pretty easy to cut. It's the other stuff like chicken that I need help with,” Justin explained as he pulled the plate back to himself. He demonstrated by cutting through the pancakes and stabbing a few, bringing them to his mouth. After swallowing his bite, he proudly said, “See, I can do it.”

“Good to know. I've got to get going, Justin. I really do have a meeting this morning, and if I don't leave now, I'll be late. I called the service and they should be here any minute,” Brian explained after he swallowed his last bite of omelet.

“Thanks for the shower. Will you be home early enough to help me tonight?” Justin attempted to ask nonchalantly.

Brian inwardly bristled at the question. “I'll be home.” He leaned over and kissed Justin on the lips. “Later.” Brian grabbed his car keys on the way out and met the service, thinking he would get Ted or Cynthia to get his car later in the day.

Justin finished his breakfast and went to his studio to work. After several hours, he was tired and laid down. Giving his hand more time to rest, he watched some TV and then read a few art magazines. He called Sam for an update on the next show and checked his email. Overall, he was happy with his day, and when he looked at the clock, he realized it was close to 7:00 and he hoped Brian would be home soon.

Brian went to work and his day was filled with meetings, conference calls and completing research on a new product line for Remson. They were rolling out several new drugs and he needed to develop the focus groups to test his campaign ideas. This was one of his favorite parts of the job, developing new ideas and seeing the picture of the campaigns in his head. He was very busy and when Cynthia came to tell him she was leaving, he was surprised that it was so late.

He picked up his phone, dialing Justin's cell. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Justin answered back.

“I'm getting ready to leave. Want me to pick up anything in town before I come home?” Brian asked as he shut down his computer.

Justin grinned at Brian's thoughtfulness. “How about some lemon bars? I haven't had any since I was at the hospital,” Justin explained.

“Sure. I'll go by the diner and pick up a dozen. Anything else?”

"No. Just you. Rosa was making that chicken dish you like so much. She put it in the fridge to be heated when you get home. Maybe we can watch a movie or something tonight.”

“Sounds good. Later,” Brian said as he smiled and hung up. He drove to the diner and picked up a dozen lemon bars. Luckily Deb wasn't working and he was able to get out of the diner quickly.

Justin and he enjoyed a nice evening together. They ate dinner, talked about their day, and watched Torchwood on TV.

“Captain Jack is hot,” Justin commented as they watched him kiss Ianto.

“Yeah, but you're hotter. I can't wait until your ribs and collarbone heal. It is seriously cutting into my fucking,” Brian teased.

Justin smiled. “Soon. Only a few more weeks. I'm sure your right hand can survive the workout,” Justin teased.

“I might have to get you to massage my right hand with your good hand. It hasn't had this much of a workout since I was fourteen,” Brian laughed and gave Justin a playful kiss. Brian worried that if Justin ever found out about the trick, he'd be using his right hand for a lot longer than a few weeks.

“Thanks for being here tonight,” Justin said sincerely.

Brian gave Justin a small smile, but didn't respond. Brian picked up the throw that was covering them and folded it, placing it on the back of the couch. “It's getting late. Let's go to bed.”

Justin used the couch arm to stand up, puffing as he completed his task. “Can you help me in the shower or are you too tired?”

“No, I'm not too tired. We'll make this quick since you look exhausted.”

Brian assisted Justin in the shower and they climbed into bed. Brian lay close to Justin, draping his arm protectively across his abdomen. Leaning over, he kissed him goodnight. Justin closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. Brian, on the other hand, stared into the darkness thinking about his life with Justin. He hated himself for breaking Justin's trust and hoped he would never find out. For yet the 100th time in the last several days, he cursed his drunken foray.

For the next few nights, Brian came home by 7:30. Justin busied himself with his art and reading. His mother, Daphne and Lindsay had all visited during the week. Thursday evening, Brian had gotten home late, after 9:00, but he had called to let Justin know he had a board to fix for a presentation. Justin joined Brian for a late dinner. 

“How was your day? Are you bored out of your mind yet?” Brian asked, half-seriously.

“I'm feeling a lot better now. It's been almost two weeks since the accident and the pain has dulled to an ache. I usually take an Ibuprofen once a day and only if I've been drawing with the stylus too long,” Justin explained.

“That's good to know.” Brian cut a piece of chicken and popped it in his mouth. He looked at Justin, seeing his color was good and the pained expression that his face had held for too many days was practically gone. He hoped Justin would be up for another hand job in a few more days.

"I've been walking around the grounds a lot. While it's not exactly spring, its not freezing out there. It’s very peaceful,” Justin explained as he watched Brian eat. Seeing that Brian was almost finished with his meal, he suggested, “Can we watch another episode of Torchwood tonight?”

Brian laughed. “Subtlety is still not your strong suit, Sunshine. Since you can't have the hottest guy on the planet, I guess you can have the next best thing. Yes, we can watch Captain Jack.” Brian picked up his plate and glass and brought it to the kitchen, where he dumped his uneaten food in the trash. “We'll watch two episodes and then I'll help you shower,” he called out from the kitchen. “Why don't you go to the media room and I'll meet you there.”

Justin walked to the media room sat on the couch, and Brian joined him. They watched Torchwood, laughing at Owen and Tosh's UST and both smiled as they recognized Jack and Ianto's not so furtive looks between them. Brian made popcorn for Justin and didn't tease him about his habit of dropping the kernels all over himself.

Justin stood up and announced, “Time for my shower. I'll be really glad when I can do that for myself. Don't get me wrong, Brian. I love it when we take showers together, but I hate feeling so helpless,” Justin lamented as he made his way up the stairs.

Brian helped him take off his clothing and he undressed as well, kissing his chest lightly as he unbuttoned his shirt. He prepared the shower and they stepped in. Brian took extra time washing Justin's hair, massaging his scalp and neck, one of the few places he didn't hurt.

“You seem different tonight. Everything okay?” Justin questioned.

“What do you mean?” Brian answered innocently, hoping to negate Justin's observations.

“I don't know. Solicitous. I usually have to beg for you to watch TV with me and you even made me popcorn,” Justin explained.

“You're just imagining things, Justin. I guess being cooped up in the house for almost two weeks is giving you hallucinations,” Brian joked, hoping Justin didn't push him. He decided he would have to watch himself; he didn't need Justin putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

“You've had a long week. Why don't you meet the guys at Woody's or Babylon tomorrow after work? Relax a little, dance, hang out. I'll be fine,” Justin suggested as Brian soaped his torso.

"Thanks. I think I'll take you up on your offer on one condition,” Brian replied.

“Depends on the condition.” Justin turned around so Brian could wash his hair.

“Let's go visit Gus sometime this weekend,” Brian suggested.

Justin grinned. “That is soooo not a condition. I love Gus and I think I'm ready to get out of the house. Deal.”

Brian gave Justin a quick kiss and finished giving him a shower. They prepared for bed and slept until morning.

Friday was a busy day for Brian at work. He had two conference calls and a meeting with Ted and Cynthia for strategic planning for the company. The story boards he worked on last night were ready for his review by noon, and he spent some time examining them as well.

It was after 8:00 when he left Kinnetik. He decided to pop in and see Michael and grab a change of clothing. He punched in the code for the building and knocked on the door when he arrived. While he assumed Ben and Mikey weren't busy, this was their temporary home and he respected their privacy.

Ben pulled the heavy door back and smiled when he saw Brian. “Brian. Hey Michael, Brian is here!” he yelled toward his partner.

Michael was seated on the couch with a towel under his leg. “Hey Brian. Come in. I'd get up but...” he joked as he waved his friend over.

Brian went to the living room, leaned down and gave Michael a kiss on the forehead, as usual. Sitting down on the other end of the sofa, he loosened his tie. “How's life, Mikey?” Brian asked as he looked at his loft filled with unfamiliar items.

“Pretty good. I go to the doctor on Monday and hopefully I can get a walking cast and return to work. I used to complain about work, but after this, I don't think I'll ever want to stay home again,” he lamented.

“Staying home wouldn't be so bad if you could spend the entire time having sex, but a broken leg puts a crimp into that,” Brian stated.

Michael slightly blushed. “Brian, I don't want to discuss my sex life with you!” he admonished his friend.

“When did you become such a prude?” he teased. “I would think that living in the loft would have its advantages. Justin and I had hot sex in that bed! I thought for sure the great sex vibes would rub off on you,” he teased, tongue-in-cheek.

“Brian,” Michael said, exasperated. “Speaking of Justin, how is he?”

“He's good. We're going to see Gus this weekend and probably go to Deb's for Sunday dinner. I think he is getting tired of the house. He misses painting.” Brian looked around the room and saw the TV was on, but the picture wasn't moving. “I see you were watching something. I just came to grab some clothes and I'll get out of your way.”

“You don't have to leave, Brian.” Michael attempted to encourage him by giving him his best puppy dog eyes.

“I'm headed over to Woody’s for some pool and to see the Absolute Abs contest. Don't want to miss the show,” he announced with a false sense of interest.

Michael frowned. “Does Justin know?”

Brian stood up and gave Michael a quick kiss, and then headed to the bedroom. “Yes, he knows. It was his idea. Now quit being a mother hen and tell me which shirt is better,” Brian directed as he held up two black shirts.

“They look the same to me, but the one on the right, if I have to choose.”

Brian changed from his business attire into casual clothing. He hung up his suit and made a mental note that it was at the loft. Rejoining his friends in the living area, he kissed Michael again and shook Ben's hand. “I'm off. See you at Deb's.”

After Brian left, Michael turned to Ben, worry on his face. “I hope Brian's okay. I'm anxious to see Justin. I want to go over the new story line for Rage and JT with him on Sunday.”

Ben leaned over to kiss his husband. “They're grown men, Michael.”

“He seemed a little too cheerful. I know Brian better than anyone. He isn't going to share his worries. Everything is always fine,” Michael shared his insight.

“Michael. Don't read something into every action of Brian's. If there was something wrong, he would tell you. Let's finish the movie and go to bed. It's been a long week.”

Michael gave Ben a big smile and leaned over to kiss him. “You're right. They've been together for a long time now. Sometimes, I just forget how much Brian's changed.”

*****

Brian went to Woody’s and found Ted, Emmett, Drew and Blake standing by the bar.

“Brian,” Ted greeted him with a nod.

“What are you doing here? Nothing's happened to Justin, has it?” Em asked worriedly.

“Justin is fine. I'm out for a little relaxation. In fact it was Justin's idea, so don't worry, Honeycutt.”

“Don't call me Honeycutt,” Emmett directed.

Ignoring Emmett's statement, Brian turned toward the bartender and ordered a shot of Beam. He drank it quickly, and ordered a second and then a third.

His friends watched, but didn't say a word.

“Anyone up for pool?” Brian asked as he turned toward the small group.

“I'll play you,” Ted said as he walked toward the tables.

They played and, despite the three shots Brian drank prior to the game, he beat Ted. They agreed to a rematch, and Brian racked up the balls.

The trick from the other night approached Brian and whispered in his ear, “Want to hit the restroom?”

The gang watched the familiar scene, each man shaking his head at the trick's naiveté.

“No thanks,” Brian said and continued to gather the balls.

“You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot,” he said loud enough for everyone around the table to hear.

“I said no.” He walked away from the trick and looked at his friends. They'd heard the comment. _Shit. Ted will be quiet--he wouldn't dare say a word and Blake did whatever Ted asked. Drew is a gentleman and won't say a word either, but Emmett..._ “I need another drink,” Brian announced.

Walking over to the bar, he ordered two shots and a beer. Ted walked over to the bar, standing silently by Brian. After Brian ordered a second beer, Ted looked at his boss with a worried face.

“You okay, Bri?” Ted asked as he watched Brian chug half a beer.

"I'm fabulousss,” Brian slurred his words slightly.

“Let me call the service. I think you need to go home,” he stated firmly, brooking no arguments.

Brian looked at Ted, seeing the caring in his eyes and wondered how did he get to be so close to this man? In many ways, Ted understood him better than Michael, and he could confide in Ted. Ted knew about the cancer before any of the others and had kept it quiet.

“Justin's at home,” Brian stated sadly.

“Justin wants you to be there,” Ted assured him.

Brian shook his head. “Don't think so. I'm such a shit.”

Ted led Brian out of the bar and away from prying eyes. “He loves you, Brian. He's your partner.”

"I hurt him, Theodore.” The anguish in Brian's voice cut straight to Ted's heart.

“The car's here, Brian. Go home to Justin.” Ted opened the door and instructed the driver to take him home to Britin. He walked inside to rejoin his friends. “We Did Not just hear that conversation. It should be between Justin and Brian. Now, I'm up for Babylon. Anyone going to join me?”

 

 

 

 

TBC


	10. Actions Speak Louder Than Words- Even Among Friends

Ted had asked who wanted to go dancing, hoping to change the conversation and everyone said ‘yes’. The small group made their way to the dance club, paid their admission, ordered drinks, and then walked over to a tall table, surveying the crowd.

“Teddy, what do you think Justin will say when he hears about Brian?” Em asked his very best friend. He took a sip of his Cosmopolitan and frowned.

Ted looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to their conversation. “Honestly, Em, I'm not sure. Bri was devastated. He told me he was a shit and that he hurt Justin. He's really hurting.”

Emmett fanned himself at the comments. “I never thought I would live to see the day that Brian Kinney admitted to hurting anyone. And to say that he is a shit. Well, that tops all,” Emmett remarked thoughtfully.

“Brian has really changed, especially since his ‘accident’. I think he is feeling very lost. We should support him and Justin. Let's just keep this conversation between us. It really shouldn't go any further.”

“Okay,” Em agreed. Looking around, he saw a hunky man. “Excuse me. Drew left because he has to go out of town in the morning, so I think I'll go ask that yummy man to dance.” Emmett sashayed over to the man in question and they both went to the dance floor.

Ted turned to find Blake and smiled when he saw his husband standing patiently by his side. “I'm worried about Brian. He seemed so... so vulnerable. He's drinking like a fish and I think that guy at Woody's tricked with him recently. That is so unlike Brian. He hasn't tricked since Justin came back from New York seven years ago,” he confided to Blake.

Blake took a sip of his seltzer water. “He's having a really rough time, Ted. You can only offer your support. He's never stopped drinking, even with the 'accident' that landed him in the hospital. I think he is up to his old methods of pain management,” Blake explained in his therapist voice.

“I just hate to see him like this. He's been such a friend and a great boss. I don't want to see him on a downward spiral.”

Blake leaned over and kissed Ted. “You're a good friend. You can't do anything right now so let’s dance. I have the entire weekend free and we could use some downtimes ourselves.” Blake took his finger and sucked it in his mouth for a moment, then ran it down the front of Ted's shirt.

“I like the way you think.” Ted joined Blake on the dance floor and they danced, talked with Emmett and enjoyed themselves until the wee hours of the morning, when they left the club for home.

 

Brian took the car service home. He couldn't get the trick's short conversation out of his head. ‘You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot. You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot.’ It was a bad audio reel that was stuck in his memory. “Shut the fuck up,” he yelled out loud, trying to get the voice to be quiet, but his shouting did not help. 'You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot. You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot.' When he arrived home, he was exhausted and hoped that Justin was already asleep.

He signed the car service sheets and tipped the driver. He disarmed the alarm and unlocked the door, walking quietly so as not to wake Justin. He glanced around, remembering that he had driven to Woody's and, once again, his coat and briefcase were still in the car. Damn. This is getting to be a bad habit. I can't keep getting the service to take me home and then have to make arrangements to get my stuff the next day.

He tiptoed into the media room to see if Justin had miraculously fallen asleep while watching a movie, but Justin turned toward him when he heard Brian's footsteps.

“Hey. You're early. I figured I would've finished watching _Batman Returns_ before you got back. I think I'm only half way through. Want to join me?” Justin patted the couch next to him.

Brian hesitated for a few seconds and walked over to where Justin was sitting. “Why not? Gus isn't expecting us until noon. Teenagers--they sleep their life away,” Brian stated matter-of factly, skirting the unspoken question.

They watched the end of the movie and Brian attempted to pay attention to the story, but was woefully distracted by the events in the last few days. He purposely yawned largely at the end and stretched his arms upward.

“I'm really tired. I'm heading upstairs. Coming?” Brian stood up, shut off the player and placed the remotes on top of the shelf.

“Sure. Why don't we save my shower until tomorrow? We have time in the morning since you don't have to be at work,” Justin suggested.

Brian helped Justin with his nightly routine and he completed his own. Pulling back the duvet, he waited until Justin got in and then shut off his light, before walking to his side of the bed and getting under the duvet as well. As usual, he laid his arm protectively over Justin’s middle and they fell asleep.  
Brian saw himself at Woody's, sitting at a table with Vic having a beer. “I remember going to a bar, Joe's, similar to this one in New York. There was a group of us that hung out together, similar to you, Michael, Ted and Emmett. We joked, kidded, went to the clubs together. I was having the time of my life. Then one day...”

“You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again,” the tall brunnete whispered in his ear.

Brian glared at him, his eyes showing their distaste. “I said fuck off,” he yelled.

“The other night was hot,” the trick said out loud for Vic to hear.

Brian stood his ground. “Go the fuck away. I don't do repeats,” he snarled.

“Now drinking isn't enough, huh Brian. Now you've gone back to tricking. What will Justin say?”

Brian tried to leave the table and Woody's, but Vic grabbed his arm. “You can't run anymore. Stop before you hurt someone or yourself,” he advised.

Brian returned to the table, sitting on the bar stool, running his hands through his hair as he dejectedly looked down at the table. “Shit. My life is a mess.”

“Fix it,” Vic told him.

“How? I can't undo the tricking and if I tell Justin... I might as well just...”

“Just what? Brian. Leave, get drunk, and get laid? None of those will solve your problem. You screwed up and now your friends know. How long until Justin finds out? Don't you think you owe him to tell him before he finds out when the gay grapevine informs him of his lover's infidelity and drinking?”

“I'm so screwed, Vic. I don't want to lose him,” Brian said earnestly.

“I've got to go.” Vic got up from the wooden bar stool, gave Brian a smile and walked out the door.

The screaming from Justin woke up Brian. Brian reached over and gently placed his hands on Justin. “I'm here. I'm here,” he softly said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Justin opened his eyes, slowly realizing where he was. He moved to be embraced by Brian but was met with an immediate sharp pain. “Ahhh!” he yelled.

Brian eased him back down on the bed and adjusted the pillows behind him. “Breathe deep. You were having a nightmare,” he directed.

Justin did as he was told and his breathing evened out. “Shit. I hate that. I thought I was finally beyond those things, but...”

Brian caressed his arm, giving his support without words.

Justin took several deep breaths, regaining his equilibrium. “I was trying to draw but something was holding down my hand. I couldn't move and everybody was laughing at me, shouting at me. Look at Justin. He thinks he can draw, but he can't. How pathetic.”

Brian kissed his head and forehead, not saying anything.

“I guess my arm being in a sling and so immobile is causing nightmares. I can't give up my art, Brian,” Justin said softly as tears fell down his cheeks.

Brian wiped away the tear drops with his fingers. “You won't. You're already working with the stylus,” Brian reminded him. He caressed Justin's hair and cheek, gently running his fingers over the areas available to him. Justin sighed in contentment and his breathing started to even out. “I love you,” he said sleepily and was soon asleep.

“I love you too, Justin. I just hope that our love is strong enough,” he said very quietly. He closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep as well.

Brian slept in until 9:00 and he was surprised when he looked at the clock. Turning toward Justin, he saw that he was still sleeping. Carefully, he got out of bed took care of things in the bathroom. Pulling on a pair of sweats and a wife beater, he walked downstairs and poured some coffee. Sitting down at the table, he drank the coffee as he read the morning paper. Normally on Saturday he would go the gym, but he hadn't done so since the accident; instead, he decided to run on the treadmill while Justin slept.

He kept workout clothes in the room where the treadmill was located, so he changed into his gear. He completed some stretches, put on his iPod and ran for half an hour. Since Justin hadn't shown up yet, he went to the weight bench and completed a set of free weight exercises. Taking the towel to wipe the sweat from his face, he decided that he should go wake Justin if they were going to shower and meet Gus by noon. He walked upstairs and went into their bedroom, where Justin was making familiar noises before waking up.

He kissed Justin on the lips and said, “Wakey, wakey. Time to get up. We have to shower and eat.”

Justin's eyes popped open and he smiled. “Good morning to you. You smell wonderful. Shame we can't enjoy ourselves before we see Gus,” Justin lamented.

“Soon. Need help in getting out of bed?” Brian asked as he held out his hand.

Justin took his hand and pushed out his breath as he got up. Inhaling Brian's heady scent, he said seductively, “Eu de Brian. One of my favorites.”

Brian grinned, and they went into the bathroom. Brian prepared the shower, then wrapped Justin's arm. They showered and Brian washed Justin's hair and body, and then cleaned himself. They kissed passionately during the shower.

“I love you,” Justin stated as Brian rinsed his hair. “Thank you for last night.”

“No problem. Do you want to eat at the diner or here?” Brian asked as he turned off the water and pulled the towel off the warming rack. He gently dried Justin's body and unwrapped the arm.

“The diner sounds great. I know I went to Deb's last week, but that seems like forever,” Justin explained.

“You could have called the service. A driver would have taken you,” Brian reminded him.

“I know. I didn't feel the need to leave, but now I'm ready.” Justin pulled out a long sleeve shirt and hoodie and motioned for Brian to help him put them on.

“Your wardrobe hasn't changed since you were seventeen. Don't you think its time to dress like an adult?” Brian teased as he assisted Justin to put on his shirt and then his pants.

“I have to give you fodder for complaining. Besides, where do I go that I need other clothes? I paint most of the time and I can't wear nice clothing when I do that. I have clubbing clothes--you make certain of that. And I have my tux and formal wear for when I have shows,” Justin said, categorizing his wardrobe.

“Okay. I guess I failed in that area of your best homosexual training,” Brian teased. He pulled out a worn pair of jeans, a wife beater, and a black button-down shirt.

“You should talk, Brian. You constantly shop, yet your wardrobe looks the same as when I was seventeen. You just have to buy the newest Prada shirt or Armani sweater. The items may be new, but they still look the same to me.”

“Twat.”

They drove into town and to the diner.

No one was there as it was early yet. They sat in their regular booth at the back of the diner, and Justin ordered a waffle and two eggs scrambled, on the side.

“A waffle?” Brian asked.

“I'm tired of pancakes. Rosa has made them every day since the accident.”

“She'd make something else. All you have to do is ask,” Brian reminded him.

“Yeah, I know. I just don't like to be picky. It’s bad enough that you have to cut up a lot of my food,” Justin explained.

“Okay.”

“There's Brian and Justin,” Em exclaimed, clapping his hands a few times. He sashayed toward them and motioned for Brian to scoot over. Justin moved over for Ted to move in.

“So good to see you, baby. How's the arm?”

“It's getting better. Doesn't hurt so much. Just an annoyance at this point. I hate that someone has to help cut my food. Limits the choices,” he joked while giving Brian a big smile.

“I'll cut up your food this morning. Give Brian a break,” Em offered.

“Thanks. So what's new? Is Drew in town?” Justin asked, realizing he missed his friends.

“Drewsie left this morning and he'll be gone a few days. He's doing some publicity for the Ironmen and a few autograph signings for Brown Athletics. Maybe I'll come out to Britin and keep you company; that is if Brian doesn't mind,” Em deferred to Brian.

“It's his house too. He can have company if he wants,” Brian agreed. “You two going to talk all day or are you going to order? We're supposed to be meeting Gus later this morning.”

Em waived Debbie over to the table. “I'll have two eggs over very easy, sausage and a biscuit. And... an orange juice and coffee,” Em stated as he put his index finger to his mouth in his character move.

“I'll have the same, but give me bacon instead of sausage, and toast instead of a biscuit,” Ted stated.

“Coming right up. Good to see you, Sunshine. You're coming to dinner tomorrow. I'm making your favorite Chicken Parmesan.”

“I'll be there. I think I'm ready to get out more.”

“Good to hear it, honey. Now, let me go put in your order.” She scurried off to place their order, leaving the four men alone again.

No one said anything, which Justin found strange, so he started a conversation. “You didn't tell me who won Absolute Abs last night,” Justin commented.

“Oh, the men were fabulous, but no one can beat my Drewsie,” Emmett crooned.

“What did you think, Brian?” Justin asked a second time.

“Don't know. I didn't go to Babylon,” he admitted.

“Why not? I told you to go and have fun,” Justin reminded him.

“Something came up. Now can you stop talking? Here's Debbie with our order. Gus told me he had a lot of studying to do today so he won't have a lot of time this morning,” Brian said sharply.

Justin looked at the other men, but they were as stone-faced and quiet as Brian. Silently he nodded his head and picked up his fork to cut his waffle.

“Need any help, baby?” Emmett asked.

“No. I can cut waffles. They're pretty easy. It's stuff like chicken and meat that’s really tough.” He ate a few bites of waffle and drank some milk. The quiet at the table was palpable, but Justin didn't know why.

Brian ate his egg omelet and drank his coffee, glancing over his coffee cup at Ted, his threatening glares obvious to his longtime friend.

“If anyone's interested, I'm going to the opera tonight to hear Traviotta. It holds a special place for Blake and me,” Ted piped up, trying to lighten the mood.

“That's cool, even if I never could understand why anyone would enjoy listening to people sing in a foreign language. I prefer my singing in a language I understand,” Justin stated.

Brian ribbed him gently. “I don't know how you can say that, twat. Most of what you listen to isn't even music, much less vocals. It's more like techno with a few syllables thrown in,” Brian teased.

“You like my music. I remember the other night...”

Brian ribbed Justin again, this time a little harder and Justin smiled. “Here's your food, guys,” Justin said as he eyed Debbie with two plates. “Sorry we can't stay, but I guess my chauffeur is ready to hit the road.” Justin ate the last bite of waffle and drank the remainder of his milk. “You guys going to be at Debbie's tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Ted agreed.

“Of course,” Em said. “See you then.”

Brian and Justin walked to the front to pay the bill.

“Anything you want? Lemon bars?” Kiki asked as she rang them out.

“No, thanks.” Brian handed her his money and she gave him his change. He handed a few bills to Justin, nodding to the table. Justin took the tip money and walked toward his friends.

“I thought I was going to die when Justin asked about the contest. I guess Brian didn't go home when he left Woody's,” Em commented.

“I thought for sure he told the driver to take him home. Maybe Justin was asleep. I can't believe...”

Justin walked up to the table, placing his money on the table. He noticed the guys were talking quietly, something unusual. I wonder what they're hiding. “See you tomorrow, guys.” He went outside and got in the jeep that Brian had pulled up to the curb.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

“It's nice meeting the guys at the diner,” Justin remarked as he opened the car door. “I hadn't realized how quiet it’s been the last two weeks. While I paint in solitude, I do enjoy being with other people.”

Brian laughed. “Justin, the social butterfly of gay Pittsburgh,” he teased.

Justin turned in his seat and smirked at Brian, enjoying the playful banter. “You're just as guilty. Come on, admit it,” Justin urged. “The family is a part of your life, just like Kinnetik.”

“Whatever.” Brian turned the car toward Mel and Lindz's home. “I talked to Gus this morning and he said he needs some new soccer cleats. I guess that's where we'll start the little expedition.”

“Sounds good. I can't believe he's almost finished with his junior year of high school. I wasn't that much older than him when we met,” Justin reminisced.

“I know,” Brian agreed. "I never thought I'd be a father or have a family, and yet I happily have both. My life is nothing like I thought it'd be, but I'm glad it turned out this way. Shit, I sound like a fucking lesbian."

“It's so cool that Gus still likes to hang out with us. I remember when I was his age, the last thing I wanted to do was be seen with my parents,” Justin said, continued his reminiscing.

“I sure as hell didn't want to seen with my parents, but the feelings were mutual. My mother was more interested in praying for the orphans in some Central American country than worrying about her own kids.” Brian made a slight grimace. “What's with all the nostalgia?”

Justin looked out the window on his side of the car, staring at the neat little houses on the street. “Just thinking. I've had a lot of time for that lately. I know I almost died after the bashing, but I guess the accident brought to mind all the things I would have missed.”

Brian's gut wrenched at Justin's words. “Don’t.” He reached over the seat, running his hand across Justin's cheek.

Justin leaned into the caress. “I love you,” he said softly.

“You too,” Brian responded. He pulled the car into the driveway, leaned over and gave Justin a quick kiss on the forehead.

They both walked up to the porch of the home; Brian knocked on the door to announce their arrival.

Gus opened the door immediately. “Justin, Dad didn't tell me you were coming.”

“I could have your Dad drive me back home if you don't want me here,” he teased.

“Nah. Who would I have to talk about the new Post Modern exhibit that Mom's working on,” Gus bantered back.

“The moms will be sorry to have missed you. Mom had some big meeting at the gallery and Mama took J.R. to the dentist. She's getting the molds for braces.”

“Poor kid. Lots of my friends had braces and they always complained how much they hurt.”

Brian put his hand behind Justin's back, guiding him to the door. “Come on. Let's get this show on the road.”

They got in the car and drove toward the mall. The car beeped and Brian looked at the gas gauge.

“Shit. I'm almost out of gas,” he announced.

“You okay? You're usually so meticulous about checking that kind of stuff,” Justin asked solicitously.

“I'm fine. Just been using the service a lot lately.”

Justin frowned. _He only uses the service when he's been drinking. Shit! I didn't realize he'd been using it that much._

Brian pulled into the next gas station and got out to pump the gas. Justin turned to open the door.

“What are you doing?” Brian accused.

“I'm going to go pay for the gas.”

“The hell you will. It's my car, now get back inside,” Brian said forcefully.

Justin shrugged and closed the door.

Gus looked at both men, trying to figure out what just happened, but he was clueless.

After Brian filled the tank, Gus chatted away about the upcoming tournament. Normally his dad would ask a zillion questions; how was the opposing team at defense, at offense, had they ever played them, was anyone on his team injured, basically a full run down training video a.k.a. Brian Kinney style. Not today. His dad asked a few perfunctory questions, verifying when the tournament started and when their team would play. Justin asked him about school, a topic he rarely visited. After 16 plus years, he was used to the occasional fight his dads had so he ignored them, continuing to chat away about his week. 

"Dad, remember, I need new cleats for the tournament."

“That's why we're headed to the fucking mall. Now can you just be quiet. I've got the beginnings of a headache,” Brian informed him.

“Sure dad,” Gus readily agreed, trying to get Justin's attention, but failed to do so.

His dad's sour mood continued when they got to the store. They had gone to Soccer Master, but the store was out of his size. They'd gone to three different locations before they found his size and the style he needed.

“Is it too much to ask that a store carry most common sizes in stock?” Brian asked the sale's clerk, agitated and letting off steam.

Gus walked up to the counter, following the sales clerk, and Justin took out his wallet to pay.

Brian glared at him, “Put your wallet away. Gus is my kid and I'll buy his shoes,” Brian chided Justin.

Justin returned the glare and handed the clerk his credit card. Brian started to push Justin's hand away from the clerk, mumbling under his breath, and stated with a steely voice, “I'll be in the car.”

Gus looked from Justin to his dad as he watched the tall man abruptly leave the store. Justin signed the credit slip and handed Gus his shoes, silently walking out to the car. When Gus entered the car, he knew he'd stepped into a war zone.

Justin got in the car. “What the fuck is wrong with you? We've always shared expenses when it comes to Gus. Just last week, you were telling me that you paid for his basketball tournament fees and his new uniform. We've never kept track of who pays for what!” he yelled as he turned to his right to grab the door with his good hand.

“You haven't been able to paint since the accident and it might be a while until you can paint. You need to watch your money,” Brian stated with emphasis.

“What the fuck? Brian it's been two weeks, not two years. Gus is my son too and I should help pay for his expenses. Has all the Beam you've been consuming rotted out all your sane brain cells?” Justin lashed out in anger.

“What I drink has nothing to do with you. You're not my mother, although you may be related as she butts into things that are none of her business,” Brian retorted.

“Dads!” Gus yelled loudly from the back seat. "I've had enough."

Both opened and closed their mouths before leaning back in their respective seats.

“I don't know what is wrong with you two, but I think you seriously need to talk. Why don't you bring me home? I've got a paper in my Am Lit class I should really be working on. I'll see you tomorrow at Grandma's dinner,” Gus suggested in a quieter tone.

Brian started the car, turning it toward Gus's home. No one said a word during the ride, despite the tension in the car.

Gus grabbed his shoes, opened the door and said, “Thanks for the shoes. See you tomorrow.” He quietly got out and walked to the door. He really didn't have a paper due, but his father's behavior was disturbing and he figured they needed to sort it out without an audience.

Brian turned toward Justin. “Do you need anything while we're out?”

“No,” he tersely replied.

Brian turned toward West Virginia and drove them home. He parked the car in the garage, disarmed the security code, and waited while Justin walked in. Walking upstairs, he placed his keys and wallet on the dresser, and returned downstairs. Justin was sitting in the media room.

“Will the real Brian Kinney please step forward?” Justin announced as Brian hesitantly stood in the foyer.

“This isn't a game show, Justin.”

“No, and I'm not your responsibility. I'm not an 18 year old kid who needs to be taken care of. I've paid my way for a long time and last time I checked, we don't keep tabs on bills; it’s a partnership. Did I sustain another head injury in the accident? Otherwise, I don't remember any conversation about that changing. Did I forget something or are you just being an asshole?” Justin asked calmly.

Brian paced the room, glad that it was a large one and he could avoid looking at Justin as he formulated his response. Looking out the window, he replied. “It's my fault that you aren't able to paint and...”

Justin listened to Brian, but when he heard the explanation, he sighed loudly.

“And how do you think it's your fault?”

“The night before the accident you asked me to get your milk. I'd had a really shitty day and wanted to get home, thinking I would get the milk later. If I had gotten your milk when you asked, we wouldn't have been in the intersection and the car wouldn't have hit us,” Brian explained.

“The power of Brian Kinney,” Justin said sarcastically.

“That's what Vic said,” Brian mumbled.

“What did you say? Are you dreaming about Vic again?”

“Yeah,” Brian admitted sheepishly.

“Jesus, Brian,” Justin sighed loudly. “What does he tell you?”

“Never mind, Justin. It's not important.”

“Brian, I have paintings in several galleries right now and an exhibit that is supposed to start in a month. Even if I didn't produce any new pieces for two years, I'd be fine. In fact, I'd be fine if I never painted again. Ted has done a wonderful job of investing my earnings. Believe me, it’s not an issue,” Justin attempted to reassure him.

Brian nodded his head, acknowledging Justin's statement, but didn't move from his spot by the window.

“Is that why you've been drinking lately? Returning to your old pain management techniques?” Justin accused.

Continuing to look out the window, fearful of Justin's prying eyes and superb intuition, he said a soft “Yes.”

Justin felt his stomach clench from the acid it dumped in his body. “Shit, Brian. You can't go back to your old ways. I thought you were over using drugs and alcohol to escape your pain.”

Brian's heart clenched at the words coming from Justin. He felt a chill run through his body, but felt the sweat drip down his back and under his arms. “Justin, I screwed up,” he began.

“No shit. Drinking and drugs do not solve your problems, especially when the problems aren't yours to solve.” Justin got up, walked toward Brian, attempting to hug him with one arm.

Brian moved away from Justin, walking toward the couch. Brian looked straight ahead, his eyes unfocused. “The other night, after the... when the para… fuck it,” he yelled in frustration. “I was drunk, went to Babylon and got sucked off by some trick.” Brian sat on the couch, put his head in his hands and continued to stare at the floor.

Justin grabbed the chair, closest to the desk, attempting to steady himself. After taking a few deep breaths, he moved to sit in the chair.

_What the fuck? He got blown by a trick. No wonder he's been drinking and not coming home. But when did this happen? Fuck! He started to say... after the… when the para… Shit! He got himself blown the night the paramedics came. No wonder he's been getting drunk and running hot and cold. Brian got blown by a trick. He got himself a trick. I can't deal with this right now._

They sat there for a long time, neither saying a word, refusing to move the pink elephant in the middle of the room. Justin stood up, walked out of the room and picked up the phone in the foyer.

“Carson, can you come up to the main house? I need some help moving some of my things,” Justin stated.

“Of course, Mr. Taylor. I'll be there in a few minutes.”

“Justin?” Brian said his name in the most tentative manner Justin had ever heard.

“Carson is coming over in a few minutes. He'll help me move into the studio.”

Brian nodded his head. “Do you need any help?”

“No. I can't be here right now. I think you should leave me alone.”

“Okay.” Brian left the media room and retreated to his office. He poured a large glass of JB, but when he brought it to his lips, he couldn't bring himself to drink it. Replacing it on the desk, he leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and allowed the tears to fall, unfettered.

Throughout the afternoon, he heard Justin directing Carson, his voice devoid of emotion. _What have I done? At least he has the studio to go to. Maybe he'll talk to me in a few days. He's always after me to talk. Maybe... You're full of shit, Kinney. You've done the unthinkable. You're the biggest piece of shit. ___


	12. Chapter 12

The afternoon wore on, but Brian sat stone-faced in their bedroom. A continuous loop of this afternoon's conversation ran through his head and he couldn't figure out how to shut it up. The sun went down, leaving the room in darkness, but Brian remained seated at the edge of the bed. Eventually he fell back toward the pillows and dropped into a fitful sleep.

The ringing of the phone jarred him awake. Looking down at himself, his clothing wrinkled and his hair mussed, he shrugged as he realized he didn't care what he looked like.

“Kinney,” he growled into the phone.

“Hi Brian. Is Justin around? I wanted to talk to him about the orders from the con. We haven't had a chance to talk about them,” Michael said cheerfully.

“Call him on his cell,” he barked, hanging the phone up abruptly. I'm sure Justin wouldn't give me the time of day right now. It's best that Mikey call him directly.

***  
Michael picked up the phone and called Justin's cell. After seven rings, Justin answered.

“Hello,” he said groggily.

“Hey, Justin. I was wondering if you could come over early to Ma's and we could discuss the orders from the con. I know that you can't fill them right now, but we should have some idea of what we're looking at for the near future.”

_Shit. There is no fucking way I'm going to ask Brian for a ride to Debbie's. I could call the service, but then everyone would want to know where Brian is and why he isn't with me. We're so screwed. Can't a person even have a fight with their... spouse without the whole world knowing? I know they'll all yell at Brian for getting a trick, (that is if anyone tells them), and I'll be damned if I do that to him. Yeah, he screwed up and I’m pissed as hell, but that is between me and him--not the family._

“Actually Michael, I don't think I'm going to Debbie's today. My shoulder is really hurting and I don't want to ride in the car that long,” Justin lied, hoping Michael believed him.

“Sorry to hear that, Justin. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe I could send the stuff with Brian?” Michael ventured.

_Shit, now I've got to lie for Brian. I know he'll not go without me. The family knows too much about our lives._

“Actually, I don't think he's coming either. I think he said something about having a lot of work to catch up on this weekend,” Justin smoothly said, surprised at the ease he lied to his friend.

“Oh, okay. Maybe Ben and I will stop by tomorrow after my doctor's appointment,” Michael suggested.

“I think I have therapy tomorrow, Michael. Let me call you when I'm free. We can come up with a time in the next week or so.”

“Okay,” Michael agreed and hung up the phone.

Michael wheeled himself over to the desk where Ben was reading a reference book, preparing for his lecture.

“Something is wrong with Brian,” Michael started his conversation.

“Uh huh,” Ben said, without looking up from his work.

“Ben!” Michael said insistently. “Something. Is. Very. Wrong.”

Ben rubbed his eyes and looked at Michael. “What makes you say that?”

“I just got off the phone with both of them and they're acting strange,” Michael stated matter-of-factly.

“Strange, how?” Ben questioned.

“I called the main line and Brian answered, but when I asked to talk to Justin, he practically hung up on me. Then when I called Justin's cell, he told me he's not coming to dinner at Ma's, and said Brian has work and can't come,” Michael explained. “Maybe I should go over there,” Michael suggested, giving him his best puppy dog eyes.

Ben leaned over, giving Michael a kiss on the cheek. “Michael, I know you're Brian's friend and are worried about him, but if he needs you, he'll tell you. Now, I've got some work to do on this lecture for tomorrow.” Ben turned back to his desk and started to read the resource book, making notes as he read.

Michael rolled to the couch and transferred to the cushion. He flipped on the TV and watched _Family Man_ and the _Simpsons_. He was still worried about Brian and wondered if Ted knew anything, since he worked with him.

He picked up the phone and dialed his number. “Ted,” he said.

“Hi Michael. How's your leg?”

“It's getting better. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to see if I can get a walking stub. It’ll be so nice to get up,” Michael commented. Michael played with the Rage figurine on the table as he talked. “Is something going on at work?”

The hairs on Ted's neck shot up. “What do you mean, Michael? You know I can't discuss Kinnetik's business with you.”

“I called Brian and Justin earlier and they seemed off. Justin said Brian had to work and wouldn't be going to Ma's for dinner. It just seems strange. I mean Brian's cut back working on weekends these last few years,” Michael casually mentioned.

“There's nothing going on at Kinnetik, but if Justin said Brian is working, then I'm sure that's what he's doing,” Ted assured his friend.

“Okay. Are you and Blake going to be at Ma's?”

“We're planning on it. We've missed the last few weeks so we plan on being there today.”

“Good. I'll see you then.” Michael hung up the phone and wasn't comforted at all. He had a gut feeling that something was wrong; he just couldn't put his finger on it.

When Ben finished his lecture notes, he and Michael went shopping for food and picked up a few toiletries at the Big Q. Ben recognized the nervous behavior of his spouse and decided to get his mind off his friend. When they got home, he carefully helped Michael into the big bed, lavishing him with attention and the best blow job he'd received in at least a week.

Michael was worn out from the shopping and sex and took a nap for a few hours. When he woke, it was time to leave for Debbie's. Ben helped Michael into his wheelchair, and Michael wheeled himself down the ramp, and then used the elevator to get to the ground floor where Ben had pulled the SUV to the back. Michael got into the van and they drove to Debbie's. They were the last to arrive.

“Sweetie. How are you?” Debbie swept over, bent down and gave Michael a big hug and kiss on the cheek, leaving her telltale lipstick mark.

Looking around, she questioned, “Where's Brian and Sunshine? They haven't missed a Sunday dinner in six months.”

“They're not coming. I called Justin earlier and he said his shoulder was hurting and Brian had work to do,” Michael explained.

“Brian better not be having Sunshine do too much or he'll never heal. Maybe I should drive over there and bring them some Mustcaccoli. I know Rosa cooks for them, but she doesn't make pasta like me.”

“No,” Ted piped in quickly.

“No, don't,” Emmett said.

Debbie looked at Emmett and Ted, seeing the nervous looks on their faces. “What's going on? Tell me,” she coerced.

“Nothing,” Emmett said as he started walking toward the living room. “Who'll help me set the table? I'm starving.”

“Nothing,” Ted answered a short second behind Emmett. “I'll help you, Em. It seems lunch was a long time ago.”

Gus was whispering to Lindsay, and Debbie said, “Do you have any idea what is going on, Gus?”

“No, not really, Grandma. Dad and Justin took me out yesterday to go shopping and they were arguing over who was going to pay for my soccer cleats. It was really strange,” he explained as he looked to Lindsay for affirmation that he didn't say anything wrong.

“Brian cares nothing about money. He has more than he can ever use and Justin's art brings in probably just as much money as Kinnetik,” Lindsay offered. “I'm sure it's nothing, Gus. They were probably arguing about something else, but didn't want you to know. Sometimes when adults disagree, things get said that have nothing to do with the original argument. I'm sure there is a logical explanation.” She hugged him, but he pulled away from the affection.

“Mom,” he groaned. “I'm practically grown. You don't have to hug me like some little kid.

“I'll call your dad later tonight,” she stated and then went to help the men get dinner out on the table.

Dinner was a sedate affair, the usual liveliness absent. Everyone thanked Debbie and left early.

When the leftovers were placed in their containers, Debbie turned to Carl. “Those guys are hiding something. I know there's something going on with Justin and Brian,” Debbie announced. She sat down on the couch, reaching for the remote. Carl sat down next to her.

“Sweetheart. It's not our place to solve the world's problems. Brian and Justin are grown men, and if they are having problems, let them figure it out.” Carl leaned in and kissed Debbie on the cheek. “I think CSI is on and I want to see how bad the TV guys mangle police work.” He picked up the control and clicked on TV, changing to the local affiliate.

When Lindsey and her family returned home, it was still early. “Gus, have you finished your homework? What about you, J.R.? Any tests or projects to work on?”

A chorus of “No,” was heard.

“Good.” Turning to Melanie, she stated, “I'm going to call Brian. Make sure everything is okay.”

“Mom, don't. If there's something wrong, he'll tell us in his own good time. Dad never does well when confronted. You know that. He'll just deny everything,” Gus reminded her.

“Linds, I agree with Gus. Let Brian be. He's a grown man and he doesn't call you every time we have a fight. Besides, you don't know if anything is wrong. He really could have work to do and Justin could be hurting. Don't blow it out of proportion,” Mel urged.

Lindsey nodded her head. “Okay. But I have this feeling that something is really wrong.”

________________________________________________________

Blake and Ted were getting ready for bed later that evening. Ted got under the duvet and pulled back the cover for Blake.

“What's wrong? You've been quiet since this afternoon.” He leaned over and kissed Ted on the lips, offering assurance to his partner.

“Brian. I think Justin knows about the trick. Why else wouldn't they come? Michael is right. Brian hasn't worked on weekends in at least five years, and we don't have any new campaigns coming up. In fact he's not been in the office a lot since the accident.”

“Do you think you should talk to Brian?” Blake suggested.

“No. He's really a very private person. If he comes to me, I'll be happy to talk to him, but I really wouldn't know what to say. If our suspicions are correct and he did get a blow job from that trick...” he took a deep breath and sat back on the pillows.

“What? Finish your thought. I can't read your mind.”

“Brian and Justin have been monogamous since his accident seven years ago. For Brian to trick...” Ted paused, finding it difficult to put his thoughts into words. “If Brian tricked, it would probably devastate Justin. Not only that, but Brian's been drinking a lot. I think he's been reverting to his old pain management techniques. Problem is, those techniques are just going to add to his problems.”

“You want me to talk to him?” Blake offered.

Ted smiled and kissed Blake on the mouth. “No, but thanks. Brian would fire me if he even thought we were having this conversation.”

“Okay, but know the offer stands. Now let's get some sleep.” Blake turned off the light, spooning up behind Ted and holding him around his waist.

“Hello sweetie,” Em said as he saw the caller ID on his cell. I just came back from the most dreadful dinner.”

“Didn't you go to dinner at Deb's?” Drew asked.

“Of course. It's Sunday dinner.”

“What happened?”

“Well,” Emmett started waving his hand in the air, despite being alone. “The other night, a trick came up to Brian at Woody's and asked him to go to the back room,” Emmett began his tale.

“Nothing new there,” Drew remarked.

“But this one said he had a beautiful cock and he wanted Brian to ride him,” Emmett explained. Emmett rolled his eyes in impatience, knowing that Drew should understand the significance of the statement.

“And?”

“Don't you see, Sweetie. This guy had seen Brian's dick--which means that Brian has tricked recently,” Em slowly explained.

“Oh. But what has that got to do with dinner? Em, I'm still not following you.”

“Well, Michael called over to Brian and Justin's, and Justin said that they weren't coming to dinner and that Brian had to work, but Brian hasn't worked on weekends in years, so that means that Justin knows and Brian is in big trouble,” Em explained.

“And you know all this from a simple statement by a trick?” Drew reiterated.

“Of course. It was plain as the nose on Brian's face that he realized he'd been caught. He was drinking like a fish and well, he left right after that. Teddy made me and Blake promise not to bring up the conversation again. It’s so obvious.” Emmett waved his hand in front of his face to fan himself.

“Let me get this straight. A trick comes up to Brian, Brian turns him down and doesn't go to Debbie's for Sunday dinner. This means that Brian is tricking and drinking and in trouble.”

“Finally, you understand. Oh, dinner was dreadful. I wish you were here so that you could take my mind off the situation for a few hours.” Em drawled.

“Emmett Honeycutt, you're still the biggest Queen I know; I love you, but you really know how to be dramatic. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for the whole business,” Drew assured him.

“I hope you're right, but I have a bad feeling about it, and my Aunt Lula used to say, ‘trust your instincts'.”

Drew laughed. “One day I'm taking you back to Mississippi and you're going to introduce me to great Aunt Lula. In the meantime, are you in bed? I'm horny and you do have a great imagination when it comes to phone sex,” Drew spoke sultrily into the phone.

“Oh my,” Emmett waved his hand in front of his face again. “You do know how to flatter a man.” Emmett lay on the bed and proceeded to give Drew just what he wanted.

TBC


	13. Progress and Moving Backward

“Are you about ready, Michael?” Ben called out from the kitchen. “I made some waffles for breakfast this morning.”

“I'm wheeling down in a minute,” he yelled back. “I will be so happy if that doctor puts a heel on my cast. I can't wait to walk again.”

“I was talking to Justin last week and he told me that even after Brian got the walking cast, he still used the wheelchair sometimes. He said stairs would still be difficult and the walking cast can be hard on your back since your legs are still uneven,” Ben explained.

“I really don't care if I have to use the wheelchair sometimes. I'm just really tired of being in it all the time. Going to Ma's for Sunday dinner was a real pain. I can barely maneuver in her house with it. She has so much furniture!” Michael whined as he finished putting on his shirt.

“She does have a lot of stuff. We need to hurry up if we're going to be on time. I'm so glad that we have the SUV to drive,” Ben stated as he placed several pancakes on a plate. “Taking the bus would be a nightmare.” He sat down and placed a whole wheat pancake on his plate. After covering it with spreadable fruit, he cut a piece and ate it. “These whole wheat pancakes are really good.”

Michael wheeled himself to the table. “Thanks for making pancakes. I guess this is a special day.” he leaned over and kissed his spouse. Grabbing his fork, he stabbed some pancakes and brought them to his mouth.

“If I get my walking cast, do you think we can go home? I really miss our house,” Michael said as he looked at Ben with his puppy dog eyes.

Ben finished the pancake that he was eating and took a drink of orange juice before he answered. “Let's see what the doctor says. Even with a heel on your cast, you still have to walk upstairs to get to our bedroom. Those may be a lot for you to handle.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah, I guess you're right. I always dreamed about the loft and what it would be like to stay here, but I really don't find it very homelike. Brian may like the clean lines and white couches, but I prefer our warm colors and a little mess. It seems so cold sometimes. Of course, Justin has added a few things to Brian's collection, but....”

Ben took the empty plates to the sink, rinsed them and placed them in the dishwasher. “I understand, Michael. This isn't home, but it may have to be our home for a few more weeks. Be patient.” Ben leaned down and gave Michael a kiss on the lips. “I'll grab the keys and go get the car started. I'll meet you downstairs.”

They met at the car a few minutes later and drove to the hospital. They saw the doctor after a twenty minute wait.

“Mr. Novotny, I think your leg has healed sufficiently that we can place a heel stump on it. When you leave here, I'm having my assistant call down to Physical Therapy to see if there is a therapist available. You'll need to learn how to walk with the stump.”

The assistant came back in a few minutes later. “Jose said you can come by now since his next patient had to cancel. He’s one of our best therapists and I think you'll like him.” She reached in a drawer and handed them a map of the facility. “You'll need to take the elevator on the left down to the third floor. When you exit the elevator, you turn right and then go down four doors to the department. You'll need to stay in your wheelchair until you meet with Jose. It's hospital policy.”

Michael smiled and squeezed Ben's hand after hearing the good news. They went down to Physical Therapy and waited for Jose to be free.

“Hi Jose,” Ben greeted the therapist.

Wondering how they knew his name he shook hands with them and then his memory kicked in. “Hello. I see you got your heel stump. Let's wheel you over here and start our session. This one will be short too. There's not much to walking with a stump, but you'll need to stretch your other leg. You haven't used it for a few weeks and the muscles are very weak. At first you'll only want to be up for a few minutes for things like moving from place to place or maybe a very short shower. After a few days you can start to stand for at least half an hour or so,” Jose explained.

Michael frowned. “I hadn't thought about the leg weakness. I just thought I could go back to all my activities. Can I go back to work if I have a stool to rest on?”

“That would probably be okay. But if you're taking any medication or have any other health issues, you need to talk to your doctor. I can only give you information regarding the physical limitations.”

“Let's get started. I want to stand up so I can kiss my hubby,” Michael explained.

Ben blushed and Jose gave a soft smile at the comment. Jose completed the therapy session in thirty minutes.

“You've done really well, Michael. I see you've kept up your exercises while you've been home. You'll be very happy you did since it has helped you recover quickly. Stay off the leg as much as possible. While you have the walking cast, your leg bones are still soft. Drink lots of milk and continue your exercises. I'll see you back in about six weeks for therapy.”

“More therapy?” Ben questioned.

“Once he gets his cast off, his leg will be atrophied and he will need to come for therapy to strengthen it and build it back up.”

“I see. How long will that last?”

“It depends on the person. For someone like Michael. I would say about one to two weeks.”

“Thanks, Jose. I'll make sure he does his therapy,” Ben said as he shook Jose's hand. “Come on, Michael; let's stop by the store on our way back to the loft.”

“I was hoping you'd remember. It seems like it's been forever since I was there and I really need to get down there.”

“We'll go down for a little while, but when I say we're leaving...”

“Okay. Do you think we could stop by the diner?” Michael asked hopefully.

“Maybe. You don't want to overdo it, Michael.”

They walked down to the car, but by the time they reached the vehicle, Michael appeared tired.

“You okay?” Ben asked solicitously. Reaching out for Michael’s arm, he helped support his partner travel the last 100 yards. “It's not a walk in the park. No pun intended.” He unlocked the car and Michael started to get in.

“Ahhh,” he cried out.

“What? What's wrong?” Ben reached out to hold Michael up as he swayed.

“I can't bend my leg to get in the car.”

Ben pushed the wheelchair toward Michael. He'd been pushing it back to the car and was about to place it in the trunk. “You've been doing all your transferring from the wheelchair and Jose said your leg was going to be weak,” Ben reminded him. “It'll be a few days before you can easily bend to get in a car. Cars are pretty low down, but you'll do fine if you transfer from your chair,” he explained.

“Now that you said something, I do remember Brian having problems getting in and out of the car when he broke his leg. I just wish it was healed. I'm tired of you helping me.”

Ben gave Michael a long kiss on the lips. “That's what partners do, Michael. We're together for better or worse and you've taken care of me when I've come home from the hospital. Now it’s my turn.”

“I know. It's just I'd rather not have a turn.”

Ben assisted Michael into the wheelchair and then Michael transferred to the car with little fanfare. Ben placed the wheelchair in the trunk and returned to the driver's side. “Do you still want to go to the store? Maybe we should wait for tomorrow?” Ben hesitated, but felt he had to voice his concerns.

“Let's go to the store for a little bit. We'll wait for the diner until tomorrow.”

Ben leaned over and kissed Michael. “Sounds like a plan. Zephyr and his professor are off to Red Cape Comics, home of Rage and JT creations,” Ben announced as he backed out the car.

They arrived at the comic store and Ben got out the wheelchair for Michael to use. Michael willingly transferred, and then entered the shop where they were greeted by Sam, the new employee Michael had hired a month before the accident.

“Hey Sam,” Michael said as he wheeled into the store. Since his leg was extended he couldn't maneuver far into the store for fear he would hit a display or glass case. “How you holding up?”

“Good. Sales of Rage have been very high since the new issue came out two weeks ago. I think the Comic-Con really gave you guys some good exposure. The action figures of JT, Rage and Zephyr are supposed to arrive tomorrow. I know they'll sell really well.” Sam went over to the computer and opened up the email program, printing out several messages. He clicked on the Excel spreadsheet and printed out the latest sales figures from the last three weeks. “The online distributors are very pleased with the sales from last month and our sales here have been pretty good as well. I'd say you guys should do more Cons. It's great for business,” Sam concluded as he handed Michael all the printouts.

Michael reviewed the information. “Wow. I never would've thought that we'd be making this kind of money from Rage, but its all here. Look Ben,” he said excitedly handling him the papers. “Our sales have tripled since the Con. Maybe we should do more of them.”

Ben reviewed the information and nodded his head in agreement. “You guys have done really well; however, I think I'd hold off on any more Cons in the near future. I think Brian and Justin might be a little spooked about doing any very soon.”

Michael frowned. “Yeah. I guess you're right. Brian was pretty freaked out by the accident and the last time I saw him he was still blaming himself. Maybe I should go see him. I know he's been busy with Justin and I guess that’s why he hasn't called.” Michael suggested.

“Since we're in town, I guess we could go by Kinnetik. We'll drive. I don't want you overdoing it,” Ben declared.

“I'll wait here while you go get the car.”

Ben and Michael drove to Kinnetik, Ben letting Michael out in front of the old bathhouse. Michael walked in and greeted Cynthia.

“Cynthia, Is he available?” Michael asked, having learned long ago not to disturb Brian without ensuring he was not in the middle of a presentation.

Cynthia looked up from her desk when she heard her name and was surprised to see Michael. “Hi Michael. How's your leg healing? I didn't know you had a walking stub.”

Michael smiled at her. “Just got it today. Is he busy? Since I was in town, I thought I'd stop by.”

Cynthia shook her head. “Sorry Michael. He hasn't come in today.”

Michael looked at his watch. “It's almost 11:00. Where is he?”

Ben walked in the door and answered. “Michael, Cynthia isn't Brian's keeper. Justin said he was working from home last night and that was why they didn't come to dinner. I bet he's just working from home today.” Ben smiled at Cynthia and she nodded in agreement.

“I'll let him know you stopped by... if you'd like,” Cynthia offered as she returned to her papers on her desk.

Michael nodded, “Thanks.” He turned to Ben. “I guess we can go home,” the disappointment evident in his voice.

Ted walked into the lobby, having heard Michael. “Michael,” he walked to his friend and gave him a hug. “You got your cast stump. Congratulations.”

Michael hugged Ted back. “Yeah. I came to share the news with Brian, but he isn't here. Is he working from home, Ted?”

Ted inwardly flinched, but appeared calm on the outside. “I haven't seen him today.” Turning toward Cynthia, he asked, “Have you seen Brian today, Cynthia?”

“No. As I told Michael, he's not been here today.”

“Sorry, Michael. He's been working a lot from home,” Ted reiterated Cynthia's earlier statement.

Michael nodded and smiled at Ted. “Maybe I'll get out to Britin later this week.” He walked toward the door and waited while Ben retrieved the car.

When Michael and Ben left, Ted turned toward Cynthia. “Have you heard from him today?”

“No.” Cynthia frowned. She took her files from the desk and started making notations on the margin of the Targus campaign.

“Damn,” Ted muttered under his breath as he took his files and returned to his office.

 

Justin woke as the morning sun shone through the windows.

“Shit,” he cursed out loud when he looked at the clock, seeing that it was a little after 7:00.

Turning to his side, he almost fell off the futon, but stopped the fall as his body hugged the back of the furniture.

Brian's going to kill me. I promised him I wouldn’t fall asleep on the futon and come to bed. The last time I fell asleep out here, I almost got pneumonia since the heat was set on a timer and went off in the early evening. I was so wrapped up in my painting, I didn't remember. I guess I should go back to the house and grovel a little.

Justin pulled open the covers and looked around his studio, seeing the space littered with his stuff.

“What the fuck?” he asked out loud, surveying the space. “Shit! I didn’t fall asleep while painting. I left the house after Brian...”

He sat back down on the futon, pulling his blankets over his legs. _Brian cheated on me. I can't even say the words out loud. Oh my God! He cheated._ Fresh tears streamed down his face as the hurt washed over him. He pulled back the blankets again, this time getting under them and mashing his face into the pillow. He pulled a second pillow over his head and, like a turtle, retreated from his life.

 

Brian reached over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel the warmth of Justin by his side. His hand touched cold sheets and an obviously unslept in bed.

 _Shit. How many times have I told Justin not to fall asleep in the studio. He almost caught pneumonia last year when he slept out in the cold. I better go drag his sorry ass inside._ Brian pulled the blankets off his legs, swinging them to the side of the bed. He pulled on some sweats and walked downstairs. There were several boxes sitting on the floor by the back door and Justin's favorite coffee mug was on top.

Brian slid to the floor, being held up by the wall. Fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. _Justin, what have I done?_ he asked himself as the never ending reel of the trick vied for his attention. 'You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot. You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot.' “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” he yelled to the room. Unfortunately, his yelling failed to turn off the voice.

 

TBC


	14. Business As Usual

Brian heard the door open and realized that Rosa had arrived for the day. Wanting to avoid contact with her, he walked up the back stairs and returned to his bedroom. He ran his hands through his hair and put his head in his hands.

Walking into the bathroom, he turned on the water as hot as he could stand it and got under the spray. He scrubbed his skin, hoping to wash away his guilt and current nightmare, but like Macbeth, he was unsuccessful. He shaved, brushed his teeth and got dressed, only to sit on the bed again. He looked at the clock, noticing it was almost 10:00. Of course, Rosa comes at 9:00.

He went downstairs, grabbed a coffee and sat down to read the morning paper. Rosa offered to make him an egg white omelet and Brian said ‘yes’. He ate the omelet, not tasting it, but determined to act normally.

“Will you be working from home today, Mr. Kinney?” Rosa asked.

“Yes. I'll be in my study if you need me.” He grabbed his coffee mug and retreated to his study. He opened his computer to review his email. Staring at the computer screen, he realized he had only read three messages in the last half hour. Picking up the Targus file, he reviewed the new slides the art department had developed for the summer campaign. He made a few notes for corrections and returned to his email. This time he was able to concentrate enough to get through twenty of them before he heard the unmistakable sound of the back door opening.  
____________

The rumbling of Justin's stomach woke him up the second time that morning. He stretched, moving his arms above his head. After throwing on his sweats, he went to the bathroom, washed his hands and brushed his teeth. _Brian is going to be so pissed at me for sleeping out here. I wonder if he's left for work and I can sneak back into the house without his noticing._ He looked toward his latest canvas and eyed all the boxes. “Shit,” he said out loud. “The more important question is, what am I going to do?”

Walking back into the bathroom, he eyed the shower. He'd been happy that Brian had convinced him to have a full bathroom. He remembered how Brian had always teased him about which one had more paint at the end of the day--him or the canvas. Justin used to strip in front of Brian, knowing he wouldn't appreciate paint on his Armani suits. He'd watch him do a little strip tease, his eyes dancing with amusement as Justin's body was unveiled, almost like it was the first time he viewed it. Brian never seemed to tire of looking at his body. Fresh tears rolled down Justin's cheeks as he realized he needed help to bathe. _Quit crying. If Brian were here, he'd laugh and call me a lesbian... Screw Brian! I can cry if I want to, and this time it hurts so much._ Justin grabbed a wash cloth, gave himself a quick wash and then got dressed.

There were no clocks in the small studio, so he called time and temperature. It was almost 1:00 p.m. and he was sure Brian was at work so he was safe to go the main house. He opened the kitchen door, eying the few boxes he had left in the foyer.

“Hi Rosa,” he said as the housekeeper looked at him from her place by the stove.

“I'm making Chicken Marsala. I know that is one of Mr. Kinney's favorites. He's working from home today and since it tastes better fresh, I thought today would be good to make it. Would you like me to make you some pancakes?” she asked.

Rosa's information took him by surprise and he was unhappy to learn of Brian's presence. 

Shaking his head no, Justin answered, “I'll take some coffee and a bagel. You're busy and I don't want to interrupt you.” He poured a cup of coffee and took a bagel from the bag on the counter. “Can you have Carson bring my dinner to the studio? I'll be busy with a piece and I don't want to ruin your creation,” Justin said casually.

“Of course. I'll send Carson with a snack for you. I know a bagel will not hold you until dinner, Mr. Taylor.” Justin gave Rosa a small smile and left with his food.

____________________  
Hearing Justin's voice, Brian wondered if Justin would come looking for him to continue their talk from last night. Brian attempted to continue working, but his heart rate increased and he found himself sweating at the thought of the possible confrontation. He listened to see if he could understand any of the conversation, but he knew the soundproofing he'd put in was doing its job. He heard the door open and close again, realizing Justin must have left. A mixed sense of relief and anguish washed over his body as he realized that Justin was here and chose not to talk to him.

He returned to his work and managed to keep busy for the remainder of the day. Rosa brought him a turkey sandwich in the early afternoon, and he mindlessly ate it without tasting it. Rosa knocked on the office door at 6:00.

“Mr. Kinney, I'm going to leave for the evening. The chicken will be ready in half an hour. I've set the timer so you'll know when to shut off the oven and not allow it to overcook. Mr. Taylor asked Carson to deliver his dinner, so I assume you'll be dining alone. Enjoy the evening.” She picked up her coat and bid Brian farewell for the night.

Brian nodded as she left, relieved that at least Justin was eating. Brian finished reviewing the file and shut down his computer. When he heard the oven beep, he turned it off and buzzed for Carson, telling him that Justin's food was ready. Carson prepared a plate for Justin and asked if he could make one for Brian.

“No, I'll eat later. It's a little early for me. Put the leftovers away.”

Carson left with Justin's food and Brian went to the media room. Sitting on the couch, he was assaulted by his memories. _the other night, after the... when the para… fuck it. I was drunk, went to Babylon and got sucked off by some trick. The other night, after the... when the para… fuck it. I was drunk, went to Babylon and got sucked off by some trick. The other night, after the... when the para… fuck it. I was drunk, went to Babylon and got sucked off by some trick._ Quickly standing, he stumbled out of the room, trying to escape.

Returning to his home office, he walked to the bar, pouring himself a shot of Beam. Without thinking, he drank the shot and poured two more in quick succession. He felt the warmth and burn of the liquor course through his body. He started to pour another shot, but he heard Justin's voice in his head. _Shit, Brian. You can't go back to your old ways. I thought you were over using drugs and alcohol to escape your pain._ “Obviously, I haven't learned my lesson, Justin. Drinking is still my choice of pain management,” Brian said out loud. "Fuck, now I'm talking when he can't hear me. How appropriate." Brian poured another shot, but when he brought it to his lips, he put the glass down on the table and walked out of the room.

Returning to the bedroom, he lay down on top of the blankets, closing his eyes as he willed the liquor to do its job. Eventually, he fell into a fitful sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, he undressed and got under the covers, only to dream of the trick at Woody's. He woke in the morning, drenched in sweat.

After showering and completing his morning routine, he went to the kitchen, where he poured a cup of coffee and put some bread into the toaster. Rosa came in while he was reaching for a plate of toast.

“Morning, Mr. Kinney. How was the chicken? Will you be working from home today as well?”

“I wasn't hungry. I will be working from home again today.” Brian picked up the newspaper and read it while he ate his toast. He drank a second cup of coffee and retreated to his study.

There were several emails from Ted regarding the upcoming summer campaign for Brown Athletics. Brian slammed down his hand in frustration, wishing Ted didn't ask him about every little detail. _What the fuck. He's doing the job I'm paying him to do. It’s not his fucking fault that I choose to work from home._

Brian left his study, returning a short time later in his gray Prada suit.

“Rosa, I'm going to the office. I don't know when I'll be home.” He grabbed his keys and went out the garage to his car.

The garage could be seen from Justin's studio and he heard the door go up as Brian left. he looked out the door and he saw Brian dressed for work. He thought that Brian didn't care, and that it was business as usual.

Brian drove to Kinnetik, grateful that he could stop thinking of the past few weeks and immerse himself in work. Walking into the reception area, he saw Justin's painting and a fresh stab of pain washed over him. He had painted the picture after they won the Clio for the Bally's campaign. Justin had told told him since he only celebrated successes, this was his way of celebrating with him. Brian wondered if they would ever celebrate again.

Cynthia came out of Ted's office. “Brian, I didn't think you were coming in today.”

“Theodore emailed me some concerns regarding the new Brown account that had to be addressed. I do pay him handsomely for his talents, but I am still the CEO of this company,” Brian quipped and walked toward Ted's office.

“Theodore.” Brian announced without knocking. “I see you have questions regarding the Brown account.”

Ted put down the file he was reviewing and looked at Brian. His boss' eyes were red and his skin was pale, but Ted knew better than to comment on his less than stellar appearance. “Hi Brian.” He pulled out the files on the account and they spent the next three hours on the campaign.

“You're a genius, Brian. It's a good thing you run the company because if you worked for someone else, I'm sure the competition would be knocking down your door trying to hire you.”

“Of course, I'm brilliant. That's why the agency is called Kinnetik. I'll be in my office if you need anything else.”

“Bri, what about lunch? Want to join me at the diner?” Ted asked innocently.

Brian winced at the mention of the diner. “I'll pass. If Debbie sees me, she'll give me the third degree about our absence the other night and I don't want to talk about it.”

“Of course,” Ted said as he grabbed his coat and nodded his head in understanding. “If you do want to talk...” Ted began his sentence.

Brian cut him off. “I'm not Mel and Lindsey. I don't want to talk. Now go, before I decide that you have outlived your usefulness to my company.”

“Of course, Brian. Sorry Brian,” Ted stammered and left quickly.

Cynthia popped her head in when Brian returned to his office. “Michael stopped by yesterday. He came to show you his new heel stump. I told him I'd tell him you he came by,” Cynthia explained.

“I'll call him. Now leave. I have work to do. Kinnetik doesn't run itself.” Cynthia smiled and walked away. Brian spent the remainder of the afternoon reading emails and proofing work from the art department.

Cynthia came in to his office later on. “It's 7:00 and I'm leaving. Do you want me to lock up or are you going to be here for a while?”

Brian looked up from the file he was reading and put it back on his desk. “I'll leave now and we can lock up.”

Cynthia grabbed her coat and handed Brian his as well. “Will you be in tomorrow? Tom, the new ad exec, has been doing some phenomenal work and I think you'd like to see some of it,” she casually mentioned as she set the alarm.

“I'll probably be in tomorrow. Justin can handle things on his own,” Brian answered as he walked Cynthia to her car.

Brian hadn't eaten since the morning and he was hungry. He didn't want to go to the diner, but he didn't want to go home either. He chose a Thai restaurant that he and Justin often ordered from when they were in town. It was good food and not too many carbs for his regimented diet. He ordered Garlic Shrimp and quickly ate the food. He left a generous tip for the waiter and drove home.

He wanted a drink and grabbed the bottle after he hung up his coat and put his keys away. Making his way to the bedroom, he loosened his tie as he climbed the stairs and unbuttoned his pants. it was all so familiar. Coming home from work, loosening his tie and pants before he got to the bedroom. So often, he would call and let Justin know that he was leaving the office and Justin would be waiting on the bed when he arrived. Not tonight. There would be no one there when he came home.

Brian reached his room, hung up his suit and redressed in jeans and a wife beater. He propped some pillows on the bed and flipped on the TV. Clicking on the set, he flipped channels until he saw Rebel without a Cause was playing on AMC. He opened the bottle and drank from it rather than finding a glass. Quoting the movie, almost line for line, Brian managed to escape his world for another evening.  
****  
“So... business as usual,” Vic asked as he sat on the bed.

“Fuck! Can't a man get some privacy in his sleep?”

“Didn't much look like sleeping to me. More like a wrestling match and the bed was winning,” Vic observed with a wry smile.

Brian looked at the bed, seeing that the sheets were askew and the blankets were pulled out. “Guess I'm having a rough time sleeping.”

“You told Justin,” Vic stated, the concern evident on his face.

“Yeah.” Brian ran his fingers over his face and squinted his eyes. “Then he promptly called Carson and moved his stuff to his studio.”“I see.” Vic looked at Brian, waiting for him to continue, but when Brian said nothing, Vic continued. “What are you going to do?”

“Do?”

“Yes, do? Are you going to talk to him?”

“I don't think he'll talk to me. He left. The ball's in his court.”

“How do you know unless you try? Are you just going to give up? That doesn't sound like the Brian Kinney I know. The Brian Kinney I know fights for what he cares about, and the last time I looked he cared a great deal for one Justin Taylor.”

“I don't know if that's enough this time. I screwed up.”

“So, that's it. You just give up your relationship because you screwed up?”

Brian looked at Vic, seeing the caring and love the older man had for him. He felt a glimmer of hope. “I don't want to give up, but...”

“But... You think you're the first man to ever screw up. Sorry Brian, you don't get to have that prize,” Vic chastised him.

“We've been together for sixteen years and I haven't been with anyone else since he came back from New York seven years ago. Will he be able to forgive me, trust me again?”

“I'm not the one you should be asking these questions to, Brian. You have to talk to Justin. He loves you and you know that. You love him.”

“But is it enough? I really screwed up.”

“Brian Kinney, you're your own worst enemy. What's the worst thing that could happen?”

Brian ran his hand through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He could tell me no.”

“Okay. Now what's the best he could do?”

“He could forgive me and move back home,” Brian said wistfully.

“There you have it; the worst and best case scenarios. The actuality is probably somewhere in between. You screwed up and you have to make the first move.”

“Vic...”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you couldn't come see me anymore,” Brian questioned.

“I didn't think I'd ever be needed again, but unfortunately you proved me wrong. I'm back. Now if you don't want to see my sorry face again, go fix this.”

“Thanks Vic.”

“Bye, Brian.” Vic said as he got off the bed and made his way out the door.

Brian pulled the covers over his chilled body and slept the remainder of the night.

_____  
After spending the previous day unpacking boxes and setting up his new home, Justin was sore. He rarely worked out, something Brian ribbed him about. 'One of these days, that bubble butt of yours will expand and you'll be sorry you didn't go to the gym’, Brian would often tell him. He knew Brian was half-serious and half-jealous of his youth. After eying Brian leaving, he decided that he would go to the main house and take a soak in the hot tub.

He walked to the main house and asked Rosa to make him an omelet and some bacon. He ate his food and went to the hot tub, carefully keeping his arm out of the water, where he soaked for a half an hour. As he got out, he eyed a pair of Brian's Prada loafers.

It struck him as odd since Brian was so fastidious about putting his things away. As he dried off, he walked over to the shoes so he could pick them up and put them back in the bedroom. He remembered the last time they used the hot tub. It was right before the accident. He had drawn a lot of pictures for the art show and his neck, shoulders and hand were all sore. He had retreated to the hot tub and when Brian came home, he decided to join him. He had left his shoes in the far corner of the room, away from all the water and splashing that frequently occurred when the two of them got together in the hot tub. They had kissed and fondled each other for a long time, and then Brian gave him a hand job. They had dried off quickly afterward and retreated to the bedroom, where Brian nailed him to the mattress several times before they both fell asleep.

Evidently they both had forgotten about the shoes. Justin brought the shoes to the bedroom, placing them in their rightful place in Brian's closet. Inhaling the familiar scent of Brian's cologne, he felt a calm wash over him, but when he turned to leave the closet, he remembered Brian's betrayal and wondered if happiness would ever find him again. He didn't know how long Brian would be gone and he didn't want to see him. He gathered the book he'd been reading, his iPod, and his asthma medication. It wouldn't do to have an attack and have to call Brian to rescue him.

Turning out of their bedroom, Justin made his way back downstairs. Stopping at the media room, he chose a few movies and picked up half a dozen CD's from his collection, and then returned to his self-imposed exile.

He took a nap in the afternoon, making up for the poor sleep from the night before. The little good light this time of year had faded, so his opportunity to paint by daylight was forfeited for the day. He turned on the artificial lighting he had installed last year and moved to the computer, attempting to create a new picture. Touching the screen, he began drawing with dark browns, blacks and angry streaks of red. No particular shape formed on the screen, but he kept up the slightly therapeutic exercise for at least an hour before his hand tired and he had to quit.

He rang the house, asking Carson to bring his dinner, and ate it while he watched reruns of Dr. Who. He went to bed a little after 11:00.

The next morning Justin woke up and scratched his head. His whole body itched and he realized that he hadn't had a decent shower for several days. He did soak in the hot tub, but he didn't rinse off afterwards, and now his skin was reacting to the chlorine and lack of a good shower. He wasn't going to ask Brian to help him. 

He picked up his phone and dialed the number. “Hey Em. How are you?”

“Hi Baby. I'm just fabulous. I've been meaning to come out to see you, but between catering and keeping up with Drew...”

“It's okay, Em. I understand. What are you doing today?”

“Not much. Drewsie had to go out of town again for a photo shoot. Why don't I come see you today?”

“That would be great. I'll probably be in my studio, so come out back instead of going to the main house.”

“Sure sweetie. Why don't I bring you some fabulous muffins and a picnic lunch. We can spend the day together.”

“Sounds good. I'll see you in about an hour.” Justin hung up the phone.

“Ted Schmidt,” Ted answered as he hit the button to open his email.

“Teddy, I'm on my way to Britin. Justin called and asked what I was doing? Do you think he knows? I won't say a word, but if he asks...” Emmett gathered a half dozen blueberry and cranberry muffins and put them in a muffin tray for easy transport.

“Emmett, I know you can keep a secret when it's important, and this is important. If he says something about the other night, just listen. Can you do that?” Ted typed in his password three times before getting the code correct.

“My butterflies are having butterflies. I'm so nervous,” Emmett shared with his best friend. He'd been baking some chocolate cookies when Justin called so he took them off the cooling rack and placed them in a zip lock bag. “Brian has been really good to everyone and I'm sure if anything is happening, they will work it out. They have to Teddy.” Opening the meat drawer, he grabbed an assortment of meats and cheeses, placing them in the cooler as well as some of his famous pear and cheese balls.

“Calm down. We don't want Justin getting any ideas either. He's probably just lonely, with Brian working all the time and he’s unable to paint. He just wants a distraction.” Ted clicked on the first email from the art department. Reading it, he realized that he needed to take care of some supply orders or the department would run out of foam boards by next week. “Look, Em. You'll be fine. I have work to do. Call me tonight.”

“Bye Teddy. Thanks.” Em gathered up his cooler and his picnic basket, put on his coat, and loaded his car. On the turn off to Britin, Emmett thought he recognized Brian's car. It was a little late for Brian to be leaving, but he was glad that Brian wouldn't be there when he met with Justin. He remembered Justin said to go in the back where he had his studio. He gathered his food and made his way there, knocking on the door with his foot as he didn't have an empty hand.

Justin heard the knock, opened the door and let Emmett in.

Emmett walked to the table, placing his food on it. “That's better. My arms were starting to get tired. I guess I need to find time to go to the gym again.” He grinned and turned around noticing the chaos. “Oh my! There are so many boxes here. It looks like moving day,” Emmett remarked as he waved his arm in a semi-circular arc.

Justin plopped on the futon, taking several deep breaths to stay off the tears. “Oh Emmett,” he said, as the tears fell down his cheeks. “It is.”

Emmett gathered Justin in his arms and allowed the man to cry.


	15. Chapter 15

Justin cried for several minutes, and then pulled away from Em. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, taking several deep breaths before he faced his long time friend.

“Baby, what's wrong?”

“Brian tricked,” Justin stated with a soft voice.

Em didn't say anything, just waited for Justin to continue.

“He said he went to Babylon the night the paramedics came and he...” Justin felt the tears fall down his face as he talked, but he didn't make any effort to stop them. “He got a blow job. Em... why now? He hasn't tricked in seven years. We've been monogamous. What happened?” Justin questioned his friend, even though he didn't expect an answer.

“I couldn't stay there. Don't you see? I had to leave. What am I going to do? He tricked. Brian tricked. He got a blow job.”

Em gathered his food and brought it to the table. “Come eat. No use wasting away. Now these chocolate chip cookies are your favorite and I brought those yummy cranberry muffins you like so much.” Emmett pointed to the small table in the area that served as a makeshift kitchen, and Justin walked over to the table, sitting down. He bit into the chocolate chip cookie and chewed the soft treat.

“They’re good. Thanks.”

“You're welcome. I bet you haven't eaten much. Let's fix you a sandwich. I brought my famous Asiago cheese bread.” Em proceeded to ply Justin with food for the next half hour, and little conversation was exchanged except Justin's comments on the food.

“I guess I was hungry. Thanks Em.”

“No problem, Baby.” Em patted his arm. “Now, we really should clean up this place so you can walk,” Em announced. He took the trash from his lunch and threw it away, placing the leftovers in the small refrigerator in the kitchen area.

“Actually, Em...” Justin hesitated.

“What, Baby?”

“I need a shower and I was wondering...”

“Say no more. I have experience helping Drewsie with the intricacies of showering with a cast. Remember when he broke his arm at the end of the season a few years ago? Leave it to me. Now where is your plastic wrap?”

“Thanks. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever be clean again. I can't exactly ask Brian for help, seeing as I'm living in my studio.” Justin walked into the kitchen, opening the drawer to see if he had any plastic wrap. He rummaged around the drawer and pulled open a few more, only to come up empty-handed.

“Em, I think you'll have to go to the main house and ask Rosa for some plastic wrap. I don't think I thought to bring any with me,” Justin admitted.

Em grabbed his coat. “Off to find Rosa. Anything else you need?”

Justin sighed. “To rewind my life and start over from a few days ago, but I don't think you can bring that over. Just get the plastic wrap before Brian sees you. He left this morning, but I don't know how long he'll be gone and I don't want him seeing you here.”

Em opened his mouth to respond, but closed it instead. He opened the door, letting the chill come in before he could close it.

Justin shivered as the cold air wafted over him wondering if he would ever be warm again. He felt the cold coming from deep within his body as if his soul was frozen.

Em came back quickly with several rolls of plastic. “Rosa was very helpful, and she told me to tell you she was making you a burger and fries for dinner. She's worried about you.”

“At least Rosa cares,” Justin lamented.

Em kept quiet again and helped Justin with the wrap. He turned on the shower and adjusted the water temperature, and motioned to Justin that his shower was ready. Justin looked at Em.

“Em, I hate to ask this, but could you wash my hair?”

“Of course. Why don't you take a quick shower and we will wash it in the sink. My Aunt Lula used to wash all us kid's hair in the sink. Said it was better than us doing it since she wanted to make sure we got all the soap out. Seems one time I didn't rinse real well and came out of the shower with a few shampoo bubbles still in my hair. After that, she insisted she wash my hair in the sink.”

Justin laughed at the story. “One day, I would love to meet Aunt Lula. She seems like such a character.”

“She is. Maybe we'll take a road trip when you're better.”

Justin got in the shower and washed his body, enjoying the feel of the water cleaning the chlorine and grime off his body. He didn't linger as there was no one to enjoy the shower with, but he was glad to be clean. After his shower, he walked over to the sink where Em had set up a chair and towels to wash his hair. Em washed his hair and dried it with a towel, and then unwrapped Justin's arm.

“There you go, sweetie. All squeaky clean. I can come tomorrow to help you again, but the next day might be a bit hard. I've got a luncheon in the morning and a dinner party. Is there anyone else who could help you?”

“I don't know. I would ask Ben, but then he'd have to tell Michael, and you know how that would end up. My mom is out--and well, so is Daphne--there are some things even a gay man doesn't want his mom to see. Maybe Ted, but he works for Brian and that might be awkward,” Justin explained as he listed all his friends.

“So, this is permanent?” Emmett asked.

Justin walked over to the area where he had his clothing stored and grabbed clean clothes. He motioned for Emmett to hold that thought while he went into the bathroom to change. He sat on the toilet to put on his underwear and pants and carefully pulled them up. He remembered how Brian had shown him how to put on a shirt with only one usable hand, and then rejoined Emmett in the main room.

Sitting down on the futon, he motioned for Emmett to join him. “I don't know. I can't imagine life without Brian.”

Emmett nodded his head in understanding.

“It's just... right now... I'm so hurt and confused. He tricked, Emmett. After seven wonderful years. Was this a seven year itch? Did the accident just make him realize that the grass might be greener on the other side?”

“Don't make any decisions right now,” Em urged.

“I won't,” Justin agreed. “Thanks for helping me today. You're a good friend.”

Em stood up and gave Justin a hug. “Sweetie, I hate to cut this short, but I do have a business to run. Do you want me to come back tomorrow?”

“That would be great. I'd appreciate it. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Emmett put on his coat and left. As he was leaving Britin, he called Ted.

“Ted Schmidt.”

“Oh, Teddy. We were right. Brian did trick and he told Justin,” Em said woefully.

Ted put down the papers he was holding and took a drink of coffee. “Damn! I was afraid that was the case, but was hoping it wasn't true.”

“Can't you talk to him, Ted? This has to be fixed. They are so right for each other, and you know that they're both miserable without the other one in their lives.”

“Em, if only a talk were that easy. Brian is a very private man and he really doesn't like to discuss their relationship.”

“Remember when he told you about the cancer? He didn't even tell Michael. He trusted you with Kinnetik and his secrets. Surely that means something.” Emmett pulled the car out of the driveway on to the main road. “I helped Justin wash his hair and take a shower this morning. He can't exactly do it himself. He was so miserable, Teddy. He loves Brian. He was so lost. We have to help them,” Emmett pleaded with his friend.

Ted listened to his friend's entreaty, shaking his head in agreement with all that was said. “Em, I don't know what I can do. I can casually mention that I talked to you and that you were at the house, maybe that would get Brian talking,” he mused.

“Thank you. I just want to see this fixed. Our two friends are hurting and that hurts our family. Even Gus seemed worried the other day. Gus worships Brian and Justin, and while he's still a little young to know the specifics of their past history, he knows something is up.”

“I'll see what I can do. I have to be careful Em. Brian will fire my ass, and not just threaten to fire me, if I tread too far.”

“Okay. Thanks, Teddy. I'll talk to you later.” Emmett drove back into the city, reviewing his morning in his head.

**********

 

Gus was finishing his five laps around the soccer field when the coach blew the whistle, ushering the young men back to the practice area.

“I have the list of the players who made the district all star team. Every one of you are great players, but not everyone could be chosen. If you weren't chosen, you can hit the showers. I want to meet with the following players for a few minutes before you go inside. They are:

Sandburg  
Harkness  
MacLeod  
Peterson-Kinney  
Ryan

All the players shook hands with their team mates and the chosen five stayed behind.

Gus was pleased that he'd made the team and hoped his father and Justin would be able to come see some of the games. Brian sometimes talked about his soccer scholarship and would be very proud of him. His moms would be proud too, even if they weren't into soccer.

“District practice starts day after tomorrow. Practice is from 3:30 to 5:30 every day after school and maybe on Saturday. Anyone have a problem with those times?”

“I may have to work on Tuesdays,” Sandburg explained.

“Anybody else have to work?” the coach asked.

Harkness raised his hand. “I think I have to work on Friday.”

“Okay. See if you can change your work schedule, and if not, plan on some extra practice time in the mornings before school. This is a great honor to be chosen for the team, and since there will be twenty players on each team, everyone is really important. I want all you guys to make me proud.”

A chorus of “Yes, sir” was heard on the practice field.

“Here are the permission forms to have signed by your parents. I'll need them back by Friday. This is Wednesday, so you have two days. Don't forget. Now go shower and I'll see you here tomorrow afternoon.” The coach handed each player a packet with permission forms and play schedules.

Gus showered and drove home with his friend Jack Harkness, who had also made the team.

“Congrats on making the team, Gus. I bet your Dad will be really proud. Didn't he have a soccer scholarship in college?”

“Yeah, he did. He taught me a lot of what I know. I can't wait to tell him. Thanks for the ride home.” Gus got out of the car, gave his friend a high five and went into his home. “Hello,” he yelled out, but no one answered. He went into the kitchen to fix a small sandwich since he was really hungry after practice. After finishing the sandwich, he put his dirty clothes in the laundry room and took his book bag up to his room to start on his homework.

He reviewed his assignments and realized he didn't have too much to do tonight, so he decided to call his dad at work rather than wait. He wanted to share the good news as soon as he could.

“Kinnetik, how may I direct your call?” Cynthia answered the phone.

“Hi Cynthia. It's Gus. Is my dad available?”

“Hi Gus. In fact, he just finished a meeting, so you have perfect timing.” Cynthia buzzed Brian. “Bri, Gus is on the phone,” she informed him. She transferred the call.

“Hey Gus.”

"Dad, I made the District Wide soccer team. Only five guys made it and I was one of them,” Gus said excitedly.

“Congratulations. I'm proud of you.”

“Do you think you and Justin can come watch the first game?” Gus asked hopefully.

“I'll be there, but why don't you call Justin and ask him yourself. I'm sure he would rather hear the news directly from you. I don't know what his schedule is, but I'm fairly certain he'd like to see you play,” Brian said as his gut clenched at the mention of Justin. He didn't want to tell him that he and Justin weren't talking at the moment. He knew Gus would want to know why and he didn't want to tell him the circumstances. 

“Sure, Dad. Thanks. I won't keep you since I know you're at work. Do you think that I could come out to Britin this weekend? We really didn't get a chance to visit last weekend.” Gus asked innocently.

“We'll talk closer to the weekend.” Brian realized that they wouldn't be able to keep their problems between themselves.

“Dad, it's already Wednesday.”

“I know, but there's a lot going on right now. I don't want to say yes and then have to cancel. I'll let you know by Friday afternoon. I promise.”

Gus looked at his calendar for Friday. “I've got practice until 5:30. I should be home by 7:00. Take care, Dad and I'll call Justin and let him know my news.”

“Later, Gus.”

Gus went to the kitchen to grab a glass of juice and another cookie, and then called Justin from the kitchen. He answered after the second ring.

“Hey Gus.”

“Hi Justin. I just got off the phone with Dad and he said to call you,” Gus began.

Justin felt a wave of uncertainty at the mention of Brian's name. “I made the district soccer team and I wanted to know if you could come to the first game? Dad said I should ask you directly as he didn't know your schedule.” Relief washed over him when he realized Brian wasn't trying to keep him out of Gus' life.

“When's the game? I'll make sure to clear my calendar. It's taken me a long time to understand the game, but after watching you all these years, I think I can follow it pretty well. Besides, I'm proud of you and I'd want to be there. You're like a son to me, Gus.”

“You will always be my other dad, Justin. After all, you and Dad have been together practically since I've been born,” Gus reminded him.

Moisture filled Justin's eyes at the remark, but he wiped his eyes, refusing to give in to the emotions behind the tears. “Sixteen years. That's a long time.”

“I've never seen any two people so in love. Mom and Momma love each other, but they can't compare to you and Dad,” Gus observed.

“When is this game?” Justin felt sick, knowing that he and Brian were not as good as Gus thought.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. It's two weeks from Saturday. Gee, another week after that will be spring break. Dad said he might take me skiing this year. Maybe you two could talk about it. My grades have been really good and I did make the team. Dad always said, 'I only celebrate success'. Do you think this would qualify?” Gus rambled on.

“You'd have to talk to your Dad, Gus.” Justin hoped the phone call would end soon; he didn't think he could keep up the charade much longer as Gus was pushing every one of his buttons. “Sorry to cut this short, but I want to finish this sketch before the light gives out.”

“How are you sketching? I thought your arm was still in a cast?”

“It is. I'm using the stylus program on the computer. I can use it for about an hour before my arm gets tired.”

“Oh. I'll let you go, Justin. By the way, I said something to Dad about coming out this weekend. I hope to see you then.”

*****

Ted finished the third quarter profit projections for Kinnetik. Knowing Brian always wanted to see information of this kind, he felt justified in knocking on Brian's door.

Brian sat at his desk, reviewing Gus' phone call. He knew if the family heard him talk about the visits from Vic they would think he had lost touch with reality. Regardless of the families' opinions, he knew Vic was right and he needed to talk to Justin. He didn't want the family making remarks in front of Gus. He needed to concentrate on his soccer game, not worry about him and Justin. He wondered if he talked to Justin before the game, maybe Gus would never have to know. 

Ted knocked a second time, but when he didn't receive an answer, he walked in.

Brian looked toward the door, finally noticing the intrusion to his office.

“Theodore, what do you want? I'm very busy.”

“I have the third quarter profit projections. I thought you might want to see them.” Ted held out the papers and Brian took them.

He started looking at them and Ted continued to stand at Brian's desk.

“What?” Brian said testily.

“I talked to Em a little while ago. He said he visited Justin this morning.” Ted didn't continue, waiting for Brian to digest the statement.

“Do you need anything else, Theodore?”

“No. I don't need anything else. If you have questions about the report, I'll be in my office,” Ted said as he quickly turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

"Shit! God damn it! Emmett, the biggest gossip queen in town, knows that Justin has moved to his studio," Brian muttered under his breath.

Brian picked up his phone and dialed.

“Hello,” Emmett said as he looked at the caller ID.

“I know you visited Justin this morning,” Brian stated, trying to keep his voice neutral. “I also know that you and Ted have a pretty good idea what happened after witnessing the little scene at Woody's.”

“Brian...” Emmett started to talk, but was interrupted by Brian.

“What happens between Justin and me is not anyone's business. If you know what's good for you, Honeycutt, you'll stay out of it,” Brian warned.

“I'm not taking sides, Brian. You're both my friends. Talk to him. He's miserable and I imagine you are too,” Emmett confided.

“I said stay out of this and I mean it,” Brian repeated.

“You can't bully me, Brian. But if you're worried I'll talk, don't be. I know when to keep my mouth shut. Now, I have a business to run and I promised Justin I would be out tomorrow to help him wash his hair. So, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do this afternoon.” Emmett hung up the phone and hoped Brian would follow his advice and talk to Justin. He turned around and started preparing for the meal tonight by taking the meat out of the freezer.

Brian looked at the phone as he put it back in its cradle. “Cynthia.” he buzzed the intercom.

Cynthia came into Brian's office. “What do you need?”

“I'm leaving for the day. Do not call me unless Kinnetik is on the verge of collapse.”

“Understood, Boss. Will you be in tomorrow?”

“I don't know. I'll let you know.”

“Okay.”

Brian shut down his computer, gathered his briefcase and coat and went to his car. He tossed his briefcase on the passenger seat and turned on the radio. As he drove toward Britin, he hoped Justin would talk to him, not shut him out and walk away.

He gripped the steering wheel, the tension tight in his body. By the time he arrived, he felt that he needed a soak in the hot tub before he was calm enough to attempt a conversation.

TBC


	16. Let's Talk

Brian pulled into the garage and walked upstairs, loosening his tie and the top button of his pants. Again he thought of the many nights Justin was waiting on their bed when he came home. He knew he would not find him there now, but hoped he would be there again very soon. Brian changed into his swimsuit, grabbed a towel and retreated to the pool. Surveying the area, he noticed the pristine blue of the pool water, a reflection of the pool's painted bottom. As the water reflected the painted bottom, Justin's eyes reflected his feelings; they were a mirror to his soul. He knew his actions talked for him, but Justin's eyes spoke volumes. 

Brian jumped into the pool, running his hands over his face to get it wet. He pushed off the side, reached his arms in front of him, and swam the length of the pool. The water rushed by his ears as he mindlessly brought his arm out of the water, elbow crooked at a 90 degree angle, perfect for sluicing the water in the most aerodynamic manner. Kicking his legs in tight succession, he propelled himself through the water. As he neared the edge, he flipped himself and pushed off again. After swimming six lengths of the pool, he stopped, turned on his back and continued with a back stroke. While he swam on his back, he continued to keep his eyes closed to avoid the chlorinated water. As he moved, he could hear the rush of the water, although it sounded different when he was on his back. He swam four lengths of the pool, then turned over again to swim a few laps of butterfly.

___

Justin worked on his painting in the afternoon, but found painting with one hand too frustrating. He took a nap, thinking it would help relieve his tension. He closed his eyes and fell asleep quickly as he thought of the conversation with Gus.

_“I made the district soccer team and I wanted to know if you could come to the game? Dad said I should ask you directly because he didn't know your schedule.”_

_When's the game? I'll make sure to clear my calendar. It's taken me a long time to understand the game, but after watching you all these years, I think I can follow it pretty well. Besides, I'm proud of you and I'd want to be there. You're like a son to me, Gus.”_

_“You will always be my other dad, Justin. After all, you and Dad have been together practically since I've been born,” Gus reminded him._

_Justin parked his car in the almost full lot, taking out his lawn chair from the trunk. The skies were grey, ominous, but he thought the rain would hold out. He searched the field looking for Gus's team, but couldn't find it. He looked for Brian, but couldn't find him either. Quickening his pace, he walked the edge of each of the fields, but no one seemed familiar. No Mel, no Linds, no Brian. He stopped, took out his BlackBerry and opened the calendar section. The game was today, at least that is what he wrote down._

_He stopped to ask a spectator, “Excuse me, but I'm looking for Western Pittsburgh championship game.”_

_“It's not here. Maybe it’s at Washington Field. It's the field for Allegheny High. They usually play big games there.”_

_“Thanks,” Justin said as he walked quickly to his car._

_Flipping open his phone, he dialed Lindsay's number. “Hey, Linds. It’s Justin. Where is Gus's game? I thought it was at the public fields, but I don't see you guys.”_

_“Sorry, Justin. I thought Brian told you. They moved the game to the fields at Carnegie Mellon. It started half an hour ago. I'm sorry.”_

_“Shit. I'm across town and it would take me half an hour to get there. Tell Gus I'm sorry."_

_Justin felt the tears forming in his eyes, but he wiped the moisture away. “This was an important event in Gus' life and I missed it because I'm mad at Brian. I will not let that happen again. This has to stop,” he mumbled to himself as he put the chair back in the car._

His crying woke him up and he wiped the moisture from his face. He felt the sweat stick to his shirt and unconsciously pulled it away from his damp skin. He sat upright in bed,trying to clear his mind. “That can't happen. Gus won't suffer because Brian and I are fighting,” he said out loud as his stomach growled.

He flipped the covers off and went into the bathroom where he washed himself quickly with a wet cloth. He dressed and walked to the house, where he saw Rosa cooking dinner.

“Evening, Mr. Taylor. Will you be joining Mr. Kinney for dinner? I heard his car a while ago,” she said as she poured the rice into the saucepan.

“Is he upstairs?” Justin glanced toward the door, half-expecting Brian to walk in.

“I haven't seen him. It's early. Sometimes he goes for a swim, you might try there,” Rosa casually mentioned as she returned to preparing the vegetables for their dinner.

Justin's stomach growled very loudly.

“Now Mr. Taylor, you better take better care of yourself or you won't heal well. It'll be a few hours until dinner; why don't I fix you a sandwich to hold you over?”

Justin shook his head. “No thanks. I'll just drink a glass of milk and have a banana. Could you pour the milk? It's still a little hard with the cast.”

Rosa poured the milk for Justin and he ate the small snack. Placing the dirty glass in the dishwasher, he walked through the house toward the pool area. He remembered telling Brian that he loved to watch the swimmers in high school; their strong muscles on their broad chests always made him horny, not to mention the great water play a pool provided. Within a few weeks, there was a work crew building a pool on the estates. Leave it to Brian to take a small comment from Justin to change their home. Oftentimes Brian swam in the pool, getting a quick workout to relieve the high stress of his job.

He walked toward the pool area, his body starting to sweat again at the anticipated encounter. The area was surrounded by glass walls, and Justin could see that Brian was in the pool before he entered the area. Justin admired Brian's body, still feeling he was "the face of God" just like he did when he was 17. He opened the door and stood by the side of the pool, watching Brian glide through the water like the natural athlete he was.

Brian was in the zone, not aware of anything other than his activity and Justin was thankful that he had a few moments to think. Brian finished his last lap, swimming to the edge of the pool. Looking up he saw Justin and stopped his ascent on the ladder.

“Hey,” Brian said tentatively.

“Hey,” Justin said in return.

“Swimming a few laps, letting off steam.” Brian stood in the water, not moving to continue up the ladder.

Justin nodded his head, but stayed silent.

“It's getting cold in here. Can you hand me my towel?”

Brian got out of the pool and Justin handed him his towel. Brian vigorously dried his body, taking extra time to dry his hair. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went to sit on one of the pool chairs.

Justin continued to stand, not moving toward Brian or the door. Feeling the sweat on his body drip down his chest and pool under his arms, he looked for a towel that he could use to wipe his brow, but didn't find one. He walked over to the patio furniture and sat down next to Brian.

“Gus called me this afternoon,” Justin said as he played with ashtray on the table.

“He was really excited about making the team. It appears all those Saturday mornings kicking around the soccer ball paid off.” Brian looked at Justin, seeing the fatigue in his eyes. He heard Justin's stomach growl and said, “You’re hungry. Why don't you get Rosa to fix you something?”

“Why don't you feed the elephant too?” Justin asked as he felt his anger surge through his body.

“You lost me there, Justin. I just said you should get Rosa to fix you something.”

“There's a big elephant standing in the middle of the room and we're both avoiding it,” Justin explained as he stood up and walked to the glass window that provided a view of the back of the house.

“I'm getting cold sitting in my wet suit. Do you think we could continue this after I shower and change?” Brian stood up and walked toward Justin, laying his hand on top of his shoulder.

The heat of Brian's hand warmed Justin, swelling his heart with love. “Sure. How ‘bout I meet you in the media room in thirty minutes?” Justin did not turn around, but he felt the definite squeeze of Brian's hand on his shoulder as he turned to leave the area.

Justin stared out at the yard, seeing the white flakes float down from the sky, covering everything with a blanket of white, providing their home with a peaceful scene. He returned to the kitchen, where he asked Rosa to make him a small sandwich to hold him over until dinner.

Brian peeled off his wet suit and hung it on the rack to dry. Turning on the water, he adjusted the temperature to comfortable warmth and stepped inside to shower off the chlorine. As he washed himself, he realized that it had been several days since he had helped Justin shower, and the pain of the last few days surged through his body. "I'm such a jerk. Why does he even want to talk to me? He's got a broken arm because of the accident, and it was my fault. If only I had gotten the milk the night before. If only I had not gotten so greedy and tried to suck him off; then the pain from his ribs wouldn't have given him a panic attack. Who are you fooling Kinney, he just wants to tell you he's staying at the studio and that the relationship is over," he said softly to himself, knowing no one was around to argue with his beliefs.

Brian got out of the shower and lay on the bed, closing his eyes for a few minutes to bolster himself for the upcoming discussion.

_Vic walked into Brian's bedroom and hit him over the head, like his sister was used to doing._

_“Brian Aiden Kinney. What the fuck is your problem?”_

_“Ouch! That hurt. Why'd you do that?”_

_“Because you're the biggest asshole I know, and that is the only way to knock some sense into your thick skull,” Vic said as he picked up the pillow next to Brian to hit him again._

_“I know I'm an asshole. That's why Justin left and that's why he's going to tell me we're better off without each other.”_

_Vic hit him over the head with the pillow. “You're impossible.” He put the pillow down and walked to the window, gazing at the back yard, where he saw the pool addition. “What were you doing before your shower?”_

_“What difference does that make?”_

_“Just answer the question. I repeat, what were you doing before your shower?”_

_“I was swimming.”_

_“I see.”_

_“Was there always a pool on the property?”_

_“No, but I don't see how that's important.”_

_“Why is there a pool now?”_

_“Justin said he'd like one and it sounded like a good idea.”_

_“I see.”_

_“Vic, what are you getting at? We have a pool because Justin made a comment that he used to watch the athletes when he was in high school, and that it was hot, so I had a pool built.”_

_“So you do things for Justin to make him happy?”_

_“Of course. I do a lot of things for Justin. I want him happy.” Brian sat up on the bed, looking at Vic._

_“Does he do things for you? To make you happy, I mean, and not just sex.” Vic walked around the room, but stopped to turn toward Brian when he asked his question._

_“Sure he does. We're together and that is what people do when they're in a relationship.”_

_“So you admit that you're in a relationship?”_

_“I've probably been in a relationship with him for 17 years, I just didn't always admit it. Vic, why the twenty questions? I know that I had the pool built and that I'd do anything for Justin, but I don't see where that has any bearing on the situation.”_

_“Does Justin feel the same way about you? Doing things for you because you're in a relationship?”_

_Brian thought for a few seconds and answered, “Of course. He's always doing things like going shopping with me--he hates shopping--or not giving me shit about the twenty new suits I buy each season._

_“Does Justin ever make you mad?”_

_“Sure. If I had a dollar for every towel he leaves on the bathroom floor, I'd be rich—well, richer. He forgets to turn on his cell, and he gets wrapped up in painting and....”_

_“Does he ever get mad at you?”_

_“Of course he does. I don't talk to him about what's going on and I'm very private at times.”_

_“I see. So you admit that you care for him, he cares for you, and that you both don't like things the other person does?” Vic summarized._

_Brian rubbed the bridge of his nose and ran his hand over his face. “Yeah and...”_

_“Brian, mistakes are part of a relationship just as much as doing things for the other person, and not liking everything the person does.”_

_“But I screwed up. He probably just came to tell me we're done.”_

_“You said the magic words, Brian. He came to you. That's got to count for a lot. He came to talk to you. See what he has to say. Don't put words in his mouth. You have seventeen years of relationship between you; don't throw it away just because you think he'd want it that way.” Vic looked out the window, seeing that the darkness had taken over and that he could barely see the snow covered landscape. “I've got to go, Brian. Give the relationship a chance. It’s the only thing that matters.” Vic walked out of the room before Brian could ask him anymore questions._

 

Brian woke from his short nap, chilled from the lack of clothing and the cold outside. “Shit, it’s pitch black outside. I must have fallen asleep.” Quickly, he put on clothes and went down to the media room.

Justin finished his snack and went into the media room to wait for Brian. A half hour passed, then forty five minutes, and when it had been an hour, Justin felt the tears well up in his eyes. Brian wasn't coming. He was walking toward the bathroom when Brian walked in.

“I fell asleep,” Brian said, by way of explanation.

“I thought maybe you changed your mind.”

“I said I would meet you here and I always keep my word.”

“I'll be right back. I need some Kleenex. My allergies are bothering me.” Justin went to the bathroom, dried his eyes and blew his nose. He rinsed his face to rid his cheeks of the tear tracks, took a few deep breaths, and returned to the media room, where he found Brian pacing the floor. “I'm back,” he announced.

“Gus was so excited when he called this afternoon. This is probably the biggest thing that ever happened to him.” Brian didn't look at Justin as he made his comment.

“He did sound really happy. I looked at my calendar and I think I can swing the game.” Justin sat down on the couch.

“Gus will be happy that you can come,” Brian said.

“What about you? Are you happy that I'll be at the game?” Justin looked directly at Brian, watching his eyes for the truth.

“It will make Gus happy. So, yeah.”

“I dreamed about the tournament. Dreamed that I missed it, that no one told me the location had changed, and I went to the wrong field and looked everywhere for you, Mel and Linds. It was a horrible nightmare.”

“You know that would never happen. I'd tell you if the game moved. Gus would be so disappointed if you said you would come and you didn't get there.” Brian walked around the media room, picking up a stray video and returning it to the shelf.

“I consider him my son and I want to be there, unless you don't want me there...” Justin looked away from Brian, not certain he wanted to see Brian's face.

Brian heard the tentative tone in Justin's words and turned toward him. He walked toward the liquor cart and started to pour himself a shot of Beam.

“Don't,” Justin said quietly.

Brian put down the bottle and looked at Justin. Heaving his shoulders up and down, he turned his glass upside down. “Okay.”

“Tell me, please.”

“Tell you what?” Brian asked, knowing exactly what Justin wanted to know.

“Do you still love me?”

Brian opened his mouth and closed it several times before answering. “Yes, I still love you. Always have. Always will.”

Justin swallowed hard at the familiar words. “Did I do something?”

“No.”

“Did I make you mad?”

“No.”

“Are you bored?”

Brian laughed a tiny bit. “With you there is never a dull moment.”

“They why?”

“Why what?”

“The trick,” Justin said softly and tried to wipe away the moisture that was beginning to form in his eyes again.

“It wasn't really a trick,” Brian began the explanation.

“Was it me?”

“No.”

“Then it was a trick.”

“I was drunk.”

Justin stood up, pacing the room, finding it difficult to listen. “So being drunk is your excuse?” Justin yelled.

Brian turned abruptly, grabbing Justin by his good arm, feeling the familiar surge of adrenaline that he always felt when he touched him. He pulled Justin to him, kissing him hard on the lips.

Justin returned the kiss at first but pulled away.

“We're not solving this by fucking. That's what caused this problem. I will not let you fuck me quiet this time.” Justin stared at Brian for a few moments and then walked to the window, where he gave Brian a stare that brooked no arguments.

Brian sat on the couch, slouched over, head in his hands and talked very softly, but loud enough for Justin to hear. “It was my fault that we had the accident. If I had gotten your milk the night before like you asked, we wouldn't have been in the intersection.”

“So, it's your fault we were there?” Justin asked sarcastically.

“Yes.”

“Bullshit. It’s called an accident for a reason, Brian.”

Brian continued his story, ignoring Justin's statements. “When I saw you lying there in a coma again, it brought back too many memories. I didn't think I could do that again, waiting all those nights and endless days watching as your brain healed.” He wiped the moisture from his eyes with the back of his hand. “Thankfully you were only out for a day and you seemed okay. I brought you home only to realize that the accident left you in pain and with little mobility. Not only were you in an accident, but I had to accept that you still might have permanent injuries.” Brian got up and walked to the liquor cart, but bent down and retrieved a bottle of water. He poured some into a glass and returned to the couch. He took a few sips and then placed it on the coaster on the table. “I was so happy to have you home, not in a coma, and wanted to show you, but then I tried a blow job and, well, I don't need to repeat what happened there.”

“That was the night--after the ambulance left?” Justin asked, knowing the answer. He saw Brian's dejected demeanor, so unlike the confident man he loved. He walked over to the chair that was next to the couch and sat down.

“I caused you more pain, something that again I couldn't forgive.”

“Where'd you go?”

“To Babylon. I drowned my sorrows.”

Justin didn't say anything, but allowed Brian to continue.

“I was really drunk, sitting in the VIP room, and I had closed my eyes. Some trick unzipped my pants and started sucking me off. I was so drunk I thought it was you. When I opened my eyes and saw it wasn't, I staggered out of there and security called the service for me.” Brian picked up the glass of water, draining it in one gulp. He got up and refilled the glass, more for something to do than because he was thirsty.

Justin watched Brian, his hunched shoulders, head down and tight grip on the water glass, seeing Brian's distress. Brian had come a long way from the 29 year old male who never regretted his actions, whose opinions were the only ones that counted, and didn't believe in relationships.

Brian returned to the sitting area, placing his glass on the table, but continued to walk around the couch and chair. “Justin, 'Sorry' is a word that I usually don't have use for. I can't take back the accident and I can't take back the trick, but if I could...”

Brian waited for Justin to respond as he ran his hand across his face several times.

Despite his anger, Justin's heart broke at Brian's anguish. Justin walked over to Brian, placing his hands on either side of Brian's head and whispered, “I know.”

Brian looked into Justin's eyes. “Can we fix this, Justin?”

“Do you want to fix it, Brian? Do you still want me?”

“Yes.”

“I'm willing to try. Are you?”

“Yes.” Leaning into each other, they shared their first tentative kiss in several days.


	17. Moving Forward

Brian and Justin kissed for a few minutes, each caught up in the feel of the other's taste and smell. Justin pulled away first, but held Brian's hand while he gathered his thoughts.

Brian watched Justin weigh his thoughts and words, but didn't want to wait. “Will you move back into the house? The bed is...”

“The futon is not that comfortable, really not meant for sleeping on more than a few hours.” Justin grinned. “But... I'll stay in the guest room.”

“The guest room.” Brian frowned but didn't argue. “Do you want help to bring your shit back?”

Justin's stomach growled loudly and he laughed.

“Have you been eating?” Brian asked solicitously.

“Yes, I've been eating. Rosa just made me a snack.”

“I think you need more than a snack. Let's go eat dinner.”

They walked into the kitchen, seeing Rosa by the stove.

“Just in time. Dinner will be ready in five minutes. I'll fix your plates and bring them out.”

“We'll finish things up, Rosa. Why don't you go home for the night? Justin and I can handle it from here.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kinney. I'll see you tomorrow.” She gathered her coat and bag and left the two men alone.

They fixed their plates and sat at the kitchen table to eat. Brian watched Justin and Justin watched Brian, like two people who were meeting for the first time, unsure what was safe to talk about or what topics might be taboo. They gave each other surreptitious glances, hoping the other person wasn't looking.

Brian felt himself relaxing for the first time in several weeks. First, it was the frenzy before Comic Con and then the accident, only to be followed by his mistake. Each day he had difficulty picturing a future with Justin, yet here he was sitting next to him, eating a meal together, and he didn't have to worry about Justin finding out his secrets. Justin knew about the trick and he had forgiven him.

As they were putting their plates in the dishwasher, the doorbell rang, startling both men.

They looked at each other, wondering who could be ringing the bell. “I'll go. You finish eating. I'm beginning to see ribs through your shirt,” Brian informed Justin as he stood up to leave the kitchen.

Opening the door, he was greeted by Michael. “Brian, I got my heel stub and now I can walk. I came by Kinnetik the other day but you weren't there. I haven't heard from you in a few days and I wanted to see you. Ben brought me over.”

Brian didn't say anything or motion Michael in.

“Aren't you going to invite me in? You okay? You look kind of funny.”

Brian looked at Michael as if an alien had landed on his doorstep, the puppy dog eyes, the classic grin and old T-shirt. “Uh sure. I wasn't expecting anyone.” Brian motioned for Michael to enter the house while he waited at the door for Ben. “We were just finishing dinner. Justin's in the kitchen.”

“We should have called. We can come back another time,” Ben offered.

“I'm sure Justin would like the company. He's been holed up here too,” Michael offered.

“Michael,” Ben warned.

“Come on in,” Brian reluctantly motioned for the two men to follow him.

“Justin, Michael and Ben are here,” he announced as he walked toward the kitchen.

Justin cursed Michael's timing, but graciously got up to greet the men.

“You've got a stump on your heel. That's great. I remember when Brian got his stump, he was so much more pleasant to live with. Ben, is Michael a patient patient?” Justin teased as got up to place his plate in the dishwasher.

'I imagine he's more patient than Brian, but...”

Michael playfully punched Ben's arm and Ben rubbed the area like it hurt.

“Are you guys busy? I brought the orders from the Con with me and I thought Justin and I could review them. I know we've both been a little incapacitated but I thought it would be fun to look at.”

Justin and Brian simultaneously looked at each other with a resigned expression. Neither Ben nor Michael caught it as they were experienced in sending quick, silent messages to each other.

“Why don't we go to the media room; there's room for all of us to sit comfortably.” Justin suggested.

Justin and Michael spent the next several hours reviewing the latest Rage storyline and discussed the art orders from the Con. Ben and Brian got bored after twenty minutes of listening to their spouses and chose to watch a DVD. 

“Michael, it's time to go. We've been here for almost three hours and I have a lecture in the morning.”

“So we're set. As soon as your hand is out of the cast, we can start on these orders. I'm so excited, Justin!”

“Michael...” Ben repeated. “It's a half hour drive to the city. Justin isn't going anywhere.”

“Do you want me to leave my notes?”

“Sure. It will give me something to do for the next few days.”  
“Night Mikey, night Professor,” Brian said as he herded them toward the door.

“Good seeing you guys,” Ben said as he nodded toward Brian. Maybe next time, I'll convince Michael to leave Rage at home.”

After saying goodnight, Brian returned to the media room where Justin was arranging the notes. “They're gone. Now where were we?” Brian's eyes slowly scanned Justin's torso, stopping at his crotch.

“I'm beat. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning.” Justin leaned over and gave Brian a soft kiss on the lips and turned to leave the room.

“Sleep well. I love you,” Brian whispered, no longer hesitant to say the three words.

Justin turned and smiled at Brian. “I love you too, but...”

“Go... I understand.” Brian walked around the room, shut off the lights and then set the alarm. He went to the master bedroom and readied himself for bed. Pulling back the duvet, he thought of Justin down the hall in the guest bedroom and frowned. He was pleased that Justin was in the same house, but saddened that he wasn't in their bed.

Justin walked into the guest bedroom, its unfamiliar furnishings a bit disconcerting. When he picked out the red and blue theme, he never imagined he would be staying in the room. _Where do we go from here? I know Brian told me the truth; that's got to count for something. How are we going to move forward? I keep seeing him with his cock out and the trick blowing him in the VIP lounge. Of course there is the other issue--his drinking._ Justin yawned as he got into the bed, and snuggled deep in the warmth. Closing his eyes, exhaustion overcame him and he fell asleep.

 

Both men woke the next morning, refreshed, more so than they had in days. Justin went down to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and found Brian sitting at the table reading the newspapers.

“You're up early, Sunshine.” Brian put down the paper and stood to kiss Justin.

Justin returned the kiss, enjoying the feel of Brian's lips on his.

“Much better than coffee. I can take care of any other morning needs you might have,” Brian hinted as he cupped Justin's cock through his sweats.

Justin gently removed Brian's hand. “Brian... We have a lot to talk about, but right now I've got to make some phone calls.”

“Do you need any help getting dressed, showered?”

“No, Em said he'd come over this morning and help again. He's helped Drew a few times when he's been injured so I'm in good hands.”

“I can work from home,” Brian offered, feeling a little unneeded.

“Brian, go to work. You have a business to run and I have work to do. I promise we're okay. I just need some time to figure this all out.”

“See you tonight.” Brian leaned over and kissed Justin on the lips and Justin returned the kiss fully. 

“Later,” Brian said.

“Later,” Justin returned the familiar word as he watched Brian tuck the newspaper into his briefcase and pour his coffee into his to-go mug.

Justin picked up his cell phone and hit the number 3.

“Hello,” a groggy Emmett answered the phone.

“Em, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I'll let you go back to sleep.”

“No worries, sweetie. The alarm was set for 8:00 and that is only ten minutes from now. I was planning on coming out to Britin to help you this morning. Everything okay?”

“I'm fine. I was just checking. Brian just left and I told him that you were coming over, and I wanted to make sure.”

Emmett sat up in bed at the mention of Brian's name. “Did you talk to him?” he tentatively asked.

“We talked,” Justin answered without giving any details.

“I'm so glad you did. Both of you were miserable. But... if you talked, why didn't he help you with your shower?”

Justin didn't answer immediately, gathering his thoughts. “Em, it isn't that easy.”

“What isn't easy? You wrap the arm in plastic, turn on the shower and wash. When you're done, you unwrap the arm, pat it dry on the places that got a little moist and you go on your merry way,” Em ticked off the necessary steps in the process.

“This isn't about the shower. The trick... I still need to work through some things.”

Emmett was silent on his end of the phone. “I'm sure you will figure it out. I'm putting on my clothes right now and I'll be over in forty minutes. Have you eaten? I can bring some fresh popovers from the store.”

“Popovers are always good. I'll see you in a while.”

Justin hung up the phone and went to the media room to review the orders that he and Michael discussed the night before. 

Emmett arrived just as he finished looking at the projected sales information. Rosa let him in when he rung the door bell and walked him to the media room.

“Your assistant has arrived. Are you ready to wrap and shower, sir?” Emmett bowed from the waist and pretended to be a butler.

Justin smiled at Emmett's antics. “Yes. The wrap is still in the studio. Would you mind getting it?”

Emmett put on his coat and walked around the back of the house to the studio, grabbing the plastic wrap he had borrowed the day before. Returning to the main house, he went to the media room. “To the bath, sir?” Em teased again.

“I think I'll use the guest bathroom. The shower is actually more accessible for my needs,” Justin explained as he walked toward the bathroom mentioned, followed closely behind by Emmett.

Justin took off his shirt and Emmett wrapped his arm. Justin pushed down his lounge pants and adjusted the water for his shower. Quickly washing himself, Justin didn't linger in the shower and got out quickly. “Can you help me with my hair?” he asked as he towel-dried his body.

“Of course. Do you want to do it in here or in the master bath?” Emmett glanced around the bathroom trying to visualize the process.

“Here is fine. Brian would hate it if I made a mess in the master bath.”

Em helped him wash his hair and dried it for him as that was a difficult task with one hand. “You seem awfully quiet, baby. Are you sure you're okay?” Emmett cleaned the sink and hung up the wet towel on the rack.

Justin pulled on a fresh pair of lounge pants and Emmett helped him with a clean shirt. Justin motioned for Emmett to follow him downstairs, then stopped in the kitchen to grab a fresh cup of coffee, and offered one to Emmett as well. They sat at the kitchen table.

“I don't know what to do, Em. Brian finally told me everything about his trick and I told him I forgive him, but I just can't get the image of his cock in a trick's mouth out of my head.” Justin looked down into his coffee cup, seeking answers he knew weren't there.

“I guess you do have many memories to pull from,” Em half-joked. 

Justin smiled at Emmett's attempt at humor. “True, but it's been seven years since either of us...”

Emmett didn't say anything, just let Justin talk. 

“Things have been so crazy for so long. Preparing for the con, then the accident and... Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I didn't give him enough attention,” Justin lamented as his eyes teared up.

“Sweetie, it wasn't your fault. You didn't make him get his cock sucked.”

“I had a panic attack earlier that night and Brian freaked out. He went out drinking. I know he felt guilty about the accident and, well, everything. You know how Brian is.”

“Go on,” Emmett urged Justin to continue his story.

“He said he went to Babylon and got drunk and... went to the VIP lounge to escape some guy on the floor making moves on him and closed his eyes. He said he thought it was me, but when he opened his eyes... He ran out of the club, and took the service home.”

“So he was drunk?” Emmett confirmed.

“Yeah. And that's another thing. He's been drinking a lot. He'd cut back a lot in the last few years, ever since that ulcer. I can't lose him, Em. No matter what, I can't lose him.” Tears rolled down Justin's face and he didn't try to stop them.

Emmett held him while he let out his frustrations and fears, rubbing his back with his hand in a circular motion. When Justin stopped crying, Em stood up and found a few tissues and handed them to Justin to wipe his face and blow his nose.

“I know Brian doesn't talk, but maybe this is one time he'll break his rules.”

“He talks, Em. We actually talk a lot. He just doesn't want anyone knowing that. Don't you ever tell anyone or I'll deny it.”

“So sit down and talk to him, Justin. Crying isn't going to fix this.”

“You think talking will work?” Justin asked as he stood up to look out the window by the sink.

“You told me you talk. So talk.” Emmett stood up to give Justin a hug. “Oh my. Look at the time. I promised Teddy I would meet him for lunch. Are you okay, Sweetie? I can call and cancel lunch if you still need me.” Emmett offered.

Justin smiled. “No, go. I'll be fine. Maybe I'll get dressed and get the service to take me into town, surprise Brian. He'd like that.” The wheels turned in Justin's head as he plotted his afternoon surprise. “I better call Cynthia--make sure there are no big meetings for the afternoon. Wouldn't want to interrupt his work.” Justin turned toward Emmett, hugging him with his good arm. “Thanks Em, you're the best.”

“Anytime, Justin. Now go make those phone calls and put on some presentable clothes. You want help dressing in something nice?”

“No. Brian will wonder how much you helped me and he doesn't really like anyone but him to see me.”

“You go girl.” Emmett grabbed his coat and left Justin alone.

Justin called Cynthia and verified that Brian would be in this afternoon, and asked her to keep him busy for the next hour and a half. He figured it would take that long to get dressed and to Kinnetik.

TBC


	18. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin comes to some decisions

Brian arrived at work, going straight to his office without talking to Cynthia. He put his briefcase down, started his computer, and pulled out his calendar. Sitting down in his chair, he glanced to the side, seeing Justin's picture prominently displayed. The frame was a trifold and held a picture of Justin in the center. He was dressed in a tuxedo for an award dinner last fall. His smile was infectious and Brian smiled back at him. On the right side of the frame was a picture of Gus holding a soccer trophy, and the left side held a picture of Brian and Justin at the girl's 15th anniversary party. They all looked happy and Brian felt the smile form on his face.

Cynthia came into the office, bringing Brian a fresh double shot fat-free Latte from Starbucks. “I stopped at Starbucks this morning on the way in,” she said, handing him the drink without pause. She caught the smile still on his face and was relieved that it appeared today would be a good day. “Do you need anything this morning?”

Brian took the coffee from her, nodding his head in thanks. He looked at his calendar as he glanced at the next few days. “We've got the Ice Mountain presentation at the end of next week. I'd like to see the boards for that and the notes from Tom's strategy session with Pier 1. Need to make sure he's as good as you say,” Brian said, somewhat tongue-in-cheek. He trusted Cynthia's judgment, but still liked to keep a tab on all aspects of the company.

“Will do. You have an 11:00 conference call with Leo Brown. Anything you need?”

“No. We're just following up on a conversation from last week. I would like you to sit in and take notes for the file. Always like to record those calls as he changes his mind a lot.”

“Sure thing, Brian.”

Brian picked up the file on his desk, signaling the conversation was over. Cynthia left, thrilled that Brian appeared in a good mood for the first time in several weeks. She passed Ted on the way to her desk.

“Have you seen him today? Is it safe to go into the lion's den?”

“He seems in a good mood. You're safe.” Cynthia advised.

“Thanks.” Ted returned to his office to gather the information he needed to present to Brian. He'd learned early on that his timing approaching Brian was just as important as the information. He'd been avoiding presenting Brian with anything but the most essential work. He was about to leave his office when the phone rang. Placing the files on the desk, he reached over to answer.

“Schmidt.”

“Morning Teddy.”

“Em, you're up early,” Ted said as he looked at the clock on the wall.

“Justin called and woke me up.”

“Is he okay? Cynthia said Bri was in a good mood this morning.”

“He's fine. He said he talked to Brian and they're working things out. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Good. Thanks. I've got to meet with Brian in a few minutes. He's always in a better mood when Justin is happy. I can always tell if Justin is going through one of his non-painting phases. Brian yells more at the staff and you can usually cut the tension with a knife. Brian's mood is directly related to Justin's happiness.”

“He'll never admit it, but I think you're right. I have to go. We still on for lunch?”

“12:00 p.m. at the Bistro. Deb's working today and I don't want her hearing any scraps of information.”

“See you.” Ted hung up the phone, grabbed his files and went toward Brian's office.

He knocked, waiting for the okay to enter.

“Theodore, I see you have my work cut out for me. Have you been stockpiling for the winter?” Brian teased as he motioned for Ted to sit down.

Ted took out several reports, reviewing the pertinent points with Brian. “You seem to be in a good mood today. You and Justin work things out?” Ted ventured, knowing that he was on dangerous ground, but determined to offer his support to his friend and boss.

“If you breathe a word...”

Ted made a zipping motion with his hand over his mouth.

“I told him about the trick, and he says it's okay, but we're not.” Brian paused, finding telling Ted cathartic. He'd trusted Ted since he had cancer. _When did he become the person I talk to? I don't think I could share this with Mikey. Mikey would make excuses for me and that isn't right. I made a mistake, a huge one, but one that I'm admitting to. I'm sorry, a word that I never thought I would use, but Justin is right. Sorry is sometimes what needs to be said._

“He moved into his studio for a few days, but he slept in the guest bedroom last night. It's a start.” Brian squinted his eyes and put his finger on the bridge of his nose. 

“Give him time, Brian. So are you holding up?”

Brian looked at Ted like he had grown horns in the last five minutes. “I'm not Mel and Linds,” he announced as he realized that he had confessed to Ted.

“My lips are sealed, Brian.”

“I know. Thanks.” Brian picked up the file on his desk. “So, what is the projection for the Ice Mountain campaign? Will I be rich beyond the dreams of avarice?”

Ted laughed at the reference to Star Trek; he hung around Michael long enough to recognize the phrase. “Of course, but you're already rich, what's a few additional million dollars?”

Ted and Brian discussed files for several hours and then Ted returned to his office. Ted looked at the clock and realized that he had just enough time to get to the Bistro to meet Emmett. He took his coat and walked to the restaurant. When he arrived, Em waved to him from the table.

Em stood up and kissed Ted on both cheeks before returning to his seat. “How was your morning?”

“Good. Brian seems to be in a good mood. As I was leaving, I thought I saw Justin enter the office. It's good to see him. Brian is always a happy man when he shows up.”

“When I was there this morning, he said something about seeing Brian. He seemed to want to surprise him. Wonder what he's up to, the little devil.” Em smirked as he thought back to all the things Justin did when he was in high school. “Let's order, I'm starved. Taking care of Justin has been tiring.”

“Based on my conversation with Brian, I doubt you'll be doing a lot of caring for Justin in the near future,” Ted commented as he perused the menu. 

The waiter came and Ted ordered a roast beef sandwich. Gone were the days that he always ordered his staple tuna salad; he'd ventured past the plain vanilla. He was thankful that he was no longer an unadventurous man.

“Justin told me they made up--sort of. He's just having a hard time accepting that Brian tricked.” Emmett drank a sip of his water and put the menu down. “I'll have the chicken croissant, light on the mayo, with a twist of lemon on the side.” He handed the waiter his menu and continued talking to Ted.

“He told me that he couldn't get the picture of Brian's dick in a trick’s mouth out of his head. Lordy, it's been years since they did anyone but each other, but I can imagine it would be difficult.”

“None of us has a clean past. I just try not to think about the guys that Blake might have slept with in the past. I'm sure you feel the same way about Drew.” Ted looked around the room, glancing to make certain no one was paying attention to their conversation.

Em smiled his toothy grin. “Considering I told him to go sow his wild oats, I would be a hypocrite if I didn't accept that Drewsie has slept with his share of men. I don't think there's a gay man out there who could hold his partner to that standard.”

Ted nodded his head at Emmett's comments. “Still, for someone like Justin and Brian, who tricked with each other for so many years... They know what the other looks like with someone else. It's not up to their imagination. I can see why Justin is having a hard time.” The waiter brought their food and the two men ate a few bites, allowing the conversation to hit a lull.

“I wish there was something I could do,” Em lamented. “Those two are good together. Brian is a different man with Justin in his life.”

Ted wiped his mouth with the napkin and drank a sip of tea before responding. “Brian is a lot tamer with Justin in his life. I'm surprised he's shared so much with me. It's not like him.” Ted ate a few more bites of sandwich, then pushed the plate away, signaling to the waiter he was finished. 

“Michael is still healing and has a lot on his plate. Maybe he doesn't want to add to his problems,” Em suggested as he thought of the current situation.

“True, but he's known Michael forever. I think he probably doesn't want Debbie to find out and he knows if he tells Michael...”

“Michael was never good at keeping secrets. Ever since the cancer, he seems to talk to me more.” Ted looked at his watch, realizing they'd been there for almost an hour. “If that waiter doesn't bring our bill soon, I won't be talking to Brian about Justin, but he'll be giving me a pink slip.” He motioned for the waiter, who came to their table. “Can you bring the check please?”

“Certainly.”

“I'll talk to you soon, Em.” Ted placed fifteen dollars on the table, enough to cover the bill and his share of the tip. Leaning over to kiss Emmett on the cheek, he said, “Have a great afternoon.” He grabbed his coat and left the restaurant.

Em placed his money on the table as well and left the restaurant.

_________________________________________

 

It had been several weeks since the accident, and Justin hadn't been anywhere without Brian. The few times he'd left the house were to go to the family dinner or to the doctor. He was looking forward to leaving on his own with a destination other than an obligation. He changed his lounge pants for a loose pair of sweats since they were easy to get on and didn't require a button for him to close. Em had helped him put on a long-sleeved tee, but that wasn't quite warm enough, so he found an oversized hoodie and gently put it on as Brian had shown him--injured arm first and then the good arm. The hoodie went on with no difficulty. He had called the service before he got dressed and asked them to come as soon as possible. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, he realized it would be here within ten minutes. He put on his shoes, figuring he could ask Rosa to help him tie them. Fine finger movement was still a little difficult for him. 

The car arrived on time and he got in. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, anticipating the look on Brian's face when he showed up at Kinnetik. He tried closing his eyes to get a little more sleep, but found he was too wired to do so. The car arrived at Kinnetik and Justin walked into the building.

Cynthia was sitting at her desk when Justin walked in. She smiled as she saw him and nodded toward Brian's office. Justin took a deep breath and walked into the inner sanctum. No matter how many times he came to Kinnetik, he always burst with pride at Brian's creation. Brian had started his business on a shoestring, and now he was one of the most successful businessmen in Pittsburgh. 

Brian heard the door open. Without looking up, he called out, “I thought we were through, Theodore. Do you mean to tell me you have more files for us to review?”

“I don't have any files, but I'm sure I could find some things to review,” Justin teased.

Brian dropped his file on his desk, smiling at the interruption. “To what do I owe your visit?”

“Do I have to have a reason? I just felt like coming to see you.”

“No, you don't have to have a reason. It’s a nice surprise.”

Justin walked over to Brian's desk, motioning for him to stand. Justin used his good hand, pulling Brian to him, gently kissing his mouth, showing him his love. Brian responded by opening his mouth, receiving Justin's tongue and the message.

Justin unbuttoned Brian's pants, allowing them to drop to the floor. He ran his fingers over Brian's boxers, feeling the hardened cock beneath the soft cotton.

“I couldn't keep the vision...”kiss “Babylon....” kiss “seen it so many times....”, kiss “not for a long time, but...” kiss “needed to see you now...” kiss “mine, only mine”, kiss “make new memories…”

Justin gently pushed Brian's boxers down, cradling his cock in his hand--running his hand over the shaft, playing with the slit, watching the precum drip from the tip. Sitting in the executive chair, he pulled Brian to him, inhaling his unique scent, allowing the distinct aroma of arousal to fill his nostrils. Sticking his tongue out, he licked the slit, savoring the precum as the elixir of life. Brian is my life. Playing with his cock and balls while he sucked the sensitive head, Justin brought Brian to the edge very quickly. Brian leaned into Justin's willing mouth as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Justinnnnn. Justinnnnn,” Brian hissed as he felt the unmistakable tightening of his balls before he shot his load down Justin's throat. Brian pulled Justin up from the chair, kissing him, devouring his mouth.

Justin pulled away, smiling his patent smile. “Better, thank you,” He licked his lips, savoring the unique flavor of Brian. “I have a new vision in my head.”

Brian pulled his boxers and pants up, tucking himself back in. “Hungry?”

“Can't stay. I've got some things to do. See you tonight,” he informed Brian as he turned toward the door.

Brian smiled as he watched Justin leave his office. It was only time. If Justin needs new memories, I'll help him. Brian opened up his contact file, located his travel agent, and placed a quick call.

 

It was almost one thirty when Justin left Brian's office. Remembering that Em was supposed to meet Ted for lunch, he hoped that Ted had returned to his office, and he knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Ted answered and looked up from his work to see who it was.

“Justin,” he said, surprised to see the man standing in his office. Ted stood up, walked over to Justin, and ushered him inside. “What brings you here?” Ted motioned for Justin to sit as he closed the door to his office.

“Brian brings me here. I wanted to see him.”

Feigning innocence, he casually asked, “Everything okay?”

“Yep. Everything's good.” Justin smiled and licked his lips, savoring the lingering taste of Brian. “Blake still works at the clinic, right?”

“Yeah. Been there going on ten years.”

“It's on Liberty and Grand, right?” Justin asked, not looking at Ted directly.

“That's right.”

“He's a counselor and what people tell him is confidential?” Justin wanted to make sure before he sought out information.

“Of course. He doesn't talk about his clients. I'm sure I would know some of them, but confidentiality is key to his success. If the people he served didn't feel safe in disclosing information, he wouldn't have such great results.”

“Thanks. Have a good day.” Justin stood up and shook Ted's hand, turned around and left the office.

Ted watched Justin leave, not certain he liked the unspoken questions Justin didn't ask.

Justin walked to the clinic and signed in at the front desk.

“Justin Taylor,” the receptionist called out.

Justin went up to the front area.

“I don't see you on the schedule, Mr. Taylor. We don't take walk-ins,” she informed him.

Taken aback for a moment, he realized she thought he was a patient. “Uh no. I'm not here for treatment, I was wondering if Mr. Wyzecki was available? Tell him Justin is here to see him.”

The receptionist nodded. “Well, it is highly unusual, but I'll see if he is available. He occasionally does have some time between appointments.” She motioned for him to sit down while she went to the back of the office. A short time later she returned to the front.

“Mr. Taylor,” she called out. “Mr. Wyzecki will see you.” She led him back to Blake's office.

Blake came out from behind his desk and shook Justin's hand, motioning for him to take the seat by the window. He sat down in the opposite chair, facing Justin.

“Hello, Justin. How's the arm healing?”

“It's better. Thanks. I can even dress myself now,” he said, tongue-in-cheek.

Blake laughed at Justin, realizing how lame the questions really were. “You've never come to the clinic before. I hope you don't need our services.” Blake leaned forward in his chair and softened his face as he looked at Justin.

Justin smiled at Blake's concern. “No, I'm fine. I need some information and I was hoping you could help me.”

“I'll do what I can.”

Justin took several deep breaths and stared at the motivational picture of a one-legged skier on the wall, rather than at Blake. “This is all confidential, right?”

“Of course. No one would tell me anything if they thought otherwise.” Blake moved the chair so that it faced Justin, making the conversation appear less like a session and more like friends talking, hoping to ease Justin's discomfort.

“How do you tell if someone has a problem with drugs and alcohol?”

Blake realized he had to treat this conversation very carefully. Everyone in the immediate family knew how much Brian drank and did drugs. He was just surprised that it had taken this long for Justin or anyone else to address the problem. “There are many signs, but the fact that you're asking tells me that you probably know the answer.” Blake said as he reached for a brochure that hung in a revolving rack against the wall. “This might help.” He handed Justin the brochure and waited while Justin looked at it for a few minutes.

Justin looked at the brochure, silently checking all the boxes that applied to Brian. “If someone has a problem but won't admit it.... can you help them?” Justin felt his heart pounding in his chest, feeling like the class tattletale rather than a concerned partner.

Blake shook his head ‘no’. “Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. If you don't think you have a problem, then there is no need to change. Sometimes we do what we call an intervention and that helps the person admit there is a problem.”

Justin had slumped in his chair, but sat a little taller at this suggestion. “What's an intervention?”

“An intervention is where you get together all the people who are important in the person's life, and they meet with the user. Each person tells the user how his drug or alcohol use has adversely affected their relationship. At the end of the session, hopefully, the user will admit that he or she has a problem and will seek help.”

Justin thought about that comment and then thought about Brian. He knew Brian didn't think he had a problem and he'd be asking for a huge rift in their relationship if he tried an intervention. He hoped there was another option, but he suspected before he walked in that this was a land mine waiting to blow up.

“Thanks, Blake. You've been a big help.” Justin stood up. “I appreciate you seeing me without an appointment. I hope I didn't put you behind schedule.”

“No problem, Justin. You just happened to get lucky. My 2:00 canceled and I don't have an appointment until 3:30. Let me know if I can help.” He stood up and walked Justin to the door. 

Justin walked outside the clinic and flipped open his phone, calling the service. The driver had been waiting for his call and was at the clinic in less than five minutes.

“Britin, please.” Justin climbed in the limo and read the brochures Blake had given him on the way home.

TBC


	19. Apology Accepted?

Brian finished his afternoon in a whirlwind of activity, reading two proposals, reviewing three campaigns, and completing the preliminary work on another. The memory of Justin sucking his cock that afternoon spurred him to complete his work so he could leave on time.

Cynthia knocked on his office door, opening it when he said to come in.

“I'm leaving a little early, Brian. My mom wants me to run some errands with her.” She placed several papers on his desk. “These are the notes from the Brown conference from this morning. I've highlighted the areas where he changed his mind from the last conference.”

“Good. I think I'll leave too, surprise Justin.”

“Did I tell you he called earlier in the day? He wanted to be sure you would be free when he got here.” She informed Brian as she picked up the files from Brian's outbox.

“No, he didn't, but he was busy.” Brian smirked.

Cynthia recognized that smirk and was glad to see it on Brian's face. “Glad you enjoyed his visit. I'll be late tomorrow. Mom's got another appointment with the doctor,” Cynthia reminded him as she turned to leave the room.

Brian shut down the computer, picked up his briefcase, and turned off the light. After making his way to the car, he pulled out in traffic and drove home.

“Kinney,” Brian answered as he hit the button of his Bluetooth.

“Hey, Dad. You busy?” Gus asked, remembering his mom's directions to always find out if his dad was available to talk.

“I'm on my way home. What's up, Sonny Boy?”

“I was wondering if you'd made a decision about this weekend... you know.. can I come out to Britin? You said you'd let me know, and tomorrow's Friday.”

What a whirlwind week; Justin moved out, Gus got into the soccer finals, reconciliation, and tomorrow it's Friday. “Sure. We can practice your soccer. What time do you finish with practice?” Brian changed lanes on the highway as the car in front of him was going too slow.

“Practice ends at 6:00, with my shower and everything I should be ready by 7:00. Can you pick me up from school? Otherwise I have to get Mom to pick me up, and then it would be closer to 8:00,” Gus explained as he calculated the times in his head.

“Everything okay at home? You seem really anxious to get away for the weekend,” Brian asked as he heard the exaggerated time frames.

“Just the usual bullshit, Dad. At least you and Justin don't fight all the time. I really can't wait to leave and go to college. All that estrogen is making me crazy,” Gus admitted.

Brian's heart clenched at the obvious unhappiness of his son. “I thought things had gotten better?”

“Dad, I don't want to bother you with my problems. I just want to come to Britin this weekend. Maybe we can talk then.”

“You know you can come anytime, Sonny Boy. I'll let Justin know and I'll pick you up at school. What time do you have to be there on Monday?”

“Nine a.m. There's some special teacher meeting in the morning and we don't have to go first hour.”

“Maybe I can swing getting you there by 9:00 so you can spend the whole weekend with us.”

Gus' voice rose in excitement. “That would be great, Dad! Two whole days without females!!”

Brian grinned. “I'm almost home. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Brian pushed the button for the garage door opener, parking in the garage. They had yet to discuss a new vehicle for Justin, but since he wasn't able to drive, it was a moot point. He pulled out his briefcase from the back seat, and closed the car and shut the garage door. He walked into the mud room, taking off his shoes and hanging his coat.

“Evening Mr. Kinney,” Rosa greeted him. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”

Brian nodded in her direction and went to the office to put down his briefcase. He glanced at the mail, noting nothing of importance and then went upstairs. Loosening his tie, he envisioned Justin lying on the bed, waiting to greet him, and his cock got hard at the thought. However, when he opened the door to the bedroom, Justin was nowhere to be seen. Quickly changing clothes, he put on a black wife beater and a pair of worn blue jeans, and left to find Justin.

Justin was in the media room, listening to the band Bowling for Soup. He looked up when Brian walked in. “You're early. I didn't expect you home until later.”

Brian walked to the couch, leaning over to kiss Justin on the head. “I got a lot done today. Seems your visit spurred me on. I haven't been this productive in weeks.” Brian walked to the front of the couch, sitting down next to Justin.

“Glad I helped you out,” Justin said and grinned.

“Gus called on my way home. He wants to come out for the weekend. Seems that Muncherville has too much estrogen for his taste. I told him I'd pick him up after soccer practice.”

“That'd be great. The last time we saw him, it wasn't a great visit,” Justin commented as he remembered the bad shoe shopping debacle.

“Maybe we can make some new, good memories for him, too,” Brian said, alluding to Justin's visit that afternoon.

Justin laughed, holding his side a little. “Don't do that. It still hurts to laugh that hard. Besides, I hardly think Gus would want to see me giving you a blow job.”

Brian leaned over toward Justin, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek. “That would scar him for life.” He stood up and lent his hand toward Justin. “Rosa said dinner would be ready in half an hour, so I think we should head toward the kitchen.”

Justin took Brian's hand and eased himself off the couch. They walked toward the kitchen, where Rosa was finishing setting the table. Brian grabbed a plate and filled it with salad, placing it in front of Justin. He grabbed a second plate and put the Jambalaya on it, placing that one to the side of Justin. Justin smiled at Brian's thoughtfulness. He watched as Brian filled his own plate, and then sat down next to him to eat his dinner.

“Rosa is a great cook, but I still think you make a better Jambalaya,” Brian said as he ate his third bite of the spicy concoction.

Justin smiled at the compliment.

“What did you do after you left Kinnetik?” Brian asked, trying to make conversation.

Justin had just taken a bite of Jambalaya so he had to finish it before answering. “I had the service take me a few places... ran some errands.” Justin wasn't ready to share information about his visit to Blake.

“I'm glad to see you getting out.”

“Me too. I like the grounds and they've been peaceful, but I'm ready to get out more, now that I'm feeling better.” Justin drank some soda and took another bite of his food.

“Do you need help bringing your stuff back to the house?”

Justin looked at Brian, deer in the headlights, unable to respond for a moment.

“I didn't take that much over.”

“It took you and Carson most of an evening,” Brian stated, demonstrating that he had been paying attention.

“It did, but that was more because I couldn't think straight and kept changing my mind regarding what I wanted.” Justin pushed his plate away, signaling he was finished.

Brian picked up his plate and Justin's, taking them to the dishwasher. “It will be nice to sleep next to you again. I've missed you,” Brian admitted.

Justin felt his stomach clench at the statement. “I never said I was sleeping in our room,” Justin informed Brian in a firm voice.

“I thought we could make some more memories,” Brian teased as he went to kiss Justin.

Justin pulled away from Brian. “Don't make fun of me, Brian. This afternoon...”

“I thought since you came to Kinnetik...”

Justin stood up, walking to the window, unable to face Brian. “This afternoon,” he repeated, waiting a few moments before continuing his thoughts. “...was a start. I wanted to replace my picture of you getting your cock sucked with me sucking your cock, but I'm not ready to go back to...”

Brian walked toward Justin, pinching the bridge of his nose with his finger. He wanted to touch Justin, but saw the stiffness in his back and his head hanging down. He stopped several feet from him.

“But Gus will be here this weekend.”

Justin turned around. “Brian, I can't.”

“You can't, or you won't,” he spat, the venom obvious in the words. Brian walked to the liquor cart, pouring himself a glass of Beam.

“Life is not picture perfect, ours included. Gus needs to know that. We're not doing him any good by pretending.” Justin sighed as he watched as Brian downed the drink quickly and poured himself another. He moved to sit back down at the table. “Look at my parents. I thought everything was great and then one day I go home to find out they are getting a divorce and mom's selling the house.”

“Your father's a jerk,” Brian hissed as he downed the second drink.

“Leave my dad out of this. We're not talking about him,” Justin demanded. “Can't we talk about this like adults?” Justin motioned for Brian to join him at the table.

“You're my partner, Justin. I want you in the same room as I am. Easy enough concept?”

Justin ran his good hand over his face and took several deep breaths. “Yes, I'm your partner, but I can't do that right now. I need time. You hurt me,” Justin said, trying to talk softly, hoping to bring Brian down from his escalating anger.

“When? When will you join me?” Brian asked as sat down at the table. “What we will tell Gus? I want him to feel safe here. I think he's having a rough time at the Munchers' and...”

“He's my son too, and I don't want him hurt. I think he needs to know that right now we're having a disagreement, but that we still love him.”

“That sounds like so much bullshit!” Brian walked over to the liquor cart and poured a third drink, downing it quickly. “He's not five years old!”

“Stop! Just Stop! Maybe I should've stayed at my studio,” Justin said in exasperation. He stood up to leave the room.

“Don't you walk out on me!” Brian demanded.

“We're not getting anywhere and if I stay, I may regret what I say to you. I think I need to leave for now.” Justin walked out of the kitchen and into the media room, where he sat in the darkness.

Brian poured another drink, but slammed it down on the cart instead of drinking it. “Shit! Goddamn motherfucker! Why do I do these things?” He sat down on the floor against the wall and felt the tears fall down his face.

 

Brian heard the front door open and felt his heart sink again. Since he didn't hear the door open again, he thought Justin went for a walk. He got off the floor and walked out the back to Justin's studio. Flipping on the lights, he saw it was empty. Returning to the house, he waited in the media room, hoping Justin would return soon.

Justin opened the door to the house about an hour after he left. He'd been walking the grounds, trying to sort his feelings, but unfortunately he'd not been successful. He walked up the stairs, not bothering to look for Brian. He undressed and got into bed, closing his eyes, giving in to his exhaustion.

Brian waited in the media room, hoping Justin would come and talk to him, but realized that wasn't going to happen. He went upstairs and got ready for bed as well. He lay in his room, unable to sleep, knowing that Justin was down the hall. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and realized he'd been lying there for almost an hour and a half. He got out of bed and went to the guest room. Justin had not closed the door tight so he was able to open it and look in without disturbing him.

He crept into the room like some lovesick teenager sneaking into his boyfriend's bed, trying not to wake anyone up. He sat down on the floor, putting his hand up towards the bed, reaching for Justin's hand. Finding his hand, he grasped it, feeling the warmth and vitality of his partner. Justin didn't wake up, but shifted toward him. He lay his head on the bed and fell asleep.

In the morning, Justin woke up with his hand in Brian's. He looked down at the sleeping man, his heart filled with love. He brought their joined hands to his mouth, giving Brian’s hand a sweet kiss. Brian stirred at the movement, waking up. Brian let his hand go.

“Shit. My hand's asleep.” He shook it, trying to get the feeling back into it.

“Duh. What did you expect?” Justin smiled at the thoughtfulness. “How long have you been here?”

“Since about 2:00. I couldn't sleep,” he admitted sheepishly.

Brian stood up and motioned to sit on the bed and Justin scooted over to make room for him. Brian kissed Justin good morning and then sat up.

“I'll wait until you're ready, but promise me you do intend to move back at some point in time.”

“Can't have you losing feeling in your hand every night,” Justin teased as he sat up to look Brian in the eye.

Brian frowned. “I'll stay in our room if you want.”

“That would be good, although it was nice finding you here this morning.” Justin leaned over and kissed Brian deeply.

Brian reciprocated. Brian pushed Justin back toward the pillow, kissing his neck and then down his chest. “Is this okay?”

Justin hesitated. Brian stopped and kissed his way back up to Justin's mouth.

“You'll tell me when?”

“I love you, Brian.” Justin smiled at him, then sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. “I won't turn down your help in showering. Up for it?”

“Of course. I've got a 9:30 meeting this morning and Cynthia will be in late. We better get started.”

Brian helped Justin shower and dress, and then shaved and showered and dressed himself as well. Everything took under an hour. “I can't believe we did this in such record time. Usually it takes much longer,” Brian commented, tongue-in-cheek.

“We both have things to do today. Are you staying for breakfast?”

“No, I'll grab some Starbucks on the way into the office. I'll let Rosa know Gus will be here this weekend. She'll want to go to the market to pick up some additional food. That boy can eat.”

Justin laughed at Brian's fake lament. “You know you could eat just as much as Gus if you were running around a soccer field for two plus hours every day. You just choose to spend your exercise time in bed with me,” Justin teased as he gave Brian a quick kiss on the cheek.

Brian raised his eyebrows. “Your wish is my command.” He checked his watch. “I do have time for a quickie.”

Justin laughed. “Go, you. Run Kinnetik and I’ll see you and Gus tonight.” Justin shooed Brian out the door.

He watched Brian get in the car and raise the garage door. Once the door closed, Justin returned to the kitchen, where he ate his breakfast and decided what to do for the day. His first order of business was to read the pamphlets Blake gave him and maybe do some research on the net.


	20. Chapter 20

Brian drove to Kinnetik, thinking of his day and the meetings he had planned. His mind turned to Justin's surprise visit yesterday and he wondered if Justin would show up again, but realized he probably wouldn't. They were taking, or sort of talking, and that was an improvement. He wished he could turn back time, or more realistically move time forward, to when they were reunited and happy like they'd been before the accident, but he realized that his mistake was not going to go away, despite his desire for that to happen.

Arriving at Kinnetik, he took out his Rolodex, flipping to the R’s. He picked up the phone and dialed. “Marty,” he said as the phone was answered.

“...It has been awhile. Cynthia usually does my travel arrangements, but I need to make these for myself.” He picked up the black pen on his desk, twirling it absently in his hand. “I want a place to relax with a few art galleries nearby. Secluded would be great, but there should be some people around,” he said, describing his needs to the trusted travel agent.

“...No. I really don't want a romantic setting. Justin needs to get away, relax. We're not a pair of lesbians.”

“...I think that would be perfect. Why don't you book the room for Tuesday of the following week.” Gus' tournament was next Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Brian decided they would celebrate on Sunday--regardless of how they played; it was an accomplishment to make it to the tournament. After the celebration, he and Justin could get away for a few days.

“Send the bill to Kinnetik.”

Brian smiled. His plan was perfect. A short getaway, just a few days, but one Justin would not expect-especially in the middle of the week.

Justin spent several hours reading web sites, and the more he read, the more he was convinced that Brian's alcohol use was problematic. He needed help, but he didn't know how he would get Brian to see this without alienating his partner. His brain was overloaded with information; therefore he shut the computer down and went outside to take a walk. 

The ground was still brown, beginning to defrost after the long winter; it was still too early for the flowers to start pushing through, but the air was warmer and not quite so bone-chilling cold. He liked this time of year, the calm before the storm. It was like his life. He and Brian were talking again, but he feared what would happen when he broached the subject of his drinking?

A gust of strong wind blew across him, chilling him. He pulled his coat around his body as best he could-still uanble to don the coat as his arm was immobile. Unable to get warm, he walked back to his studio. Booting up the computer, he opened a new page and began “painting” a new piece to match his mood. The foreground was gray but as the viewer moved across and up the page, the colors got lighter and the pictured brightened. After an hour, his arm was tired. Hitting save, he closed down the computer and picked up a few items that he wanted to return to the house. He made several trips back and forth to the main house, and was satisfied that most of his personal items were returned. He would have Carson come over later and gather his clothing and the larger items he could not manipulate.

As he was taking the sketchbook/journal to the house, Daphne walked into the area.

“Hey you!” She walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a gentle half-hug, careful of his injured arm. “Are the phones broken? I haven't heard from you in ages and since I had a free afternoon, I figured I'd come out and have a nice visit.” She noticed the sketchbook he was holding. “What's up? That sketchbook never leaves your bedroom.”

Justin frowned, having been caught by the one person he couldn't fool. “It's a long story, Daph.” He continued walking toward the house, assuming she would follow.

They went into the kitchen, taking off their coats and hanging them on the hooks in the mud room. 

“Want some hot chocolate?” Daphne asked as she gathered the supplies, comfortable in their kitchen as if she lived there herself.

“Sure.” Justin sat down at the table, flipping through the sketchbook/journal, seeing his favorite subject rendered in pencil.

Daphne watched Justin flipping thought the pages, a look of contemplation on his face, mixed with worry. She prepared the chocolate and brought both cups to the table. “We need some marshmallows for these. Are there any in the cupboard?”

Justin smiled at the take charge attitude of his best friend. “Don't know. Since the accident, I haven't been shopping. Rosa buys the food and occasionally Brian will pick up something. It's been a month at least since I shopped.”

“I can't believe it’s been that long.” She went to the pantry, searching for the illustrious food. “Ahh, here we are. Marshmallows and I think they are still good. They're squishy.” She demonstrated as she squished several marshmallows.

“Daphne, sometimes I wonder if you ever grew up.” Justin laughed at her antics, glad to have the diversion.

“I don't need to remind you that I will be having my tenth anniversary of my practice in three months. You and Brian promised to be there. He's doing some big promotion for it.”

Justin laughed at her pretend indignation. “I know and we're both so proud of you. It's just that sitting here watching you make hot chocolate in my kitchen brings back memories from high school and PIFA.”

“It's been a long time. We've been friends forever. I can't remember when you weren't in my life.” Daphne blew on the cup to cool it down and then took a sip of her hot chocolate. She watched Justin drink a few sips of his chocolate. “Dish. What's up?”

Justin put down the sketchpad and took a few sips of chocolate before responding. “It's complicated.”

“When is anything that has to do with you and Brian not complicated? Come on, Justin. Just tell me. I'm a great listener and you don't even have to pay for it.”

Justin smiled at her levity. “True. You've been giving me advice since we were little. I think the first time was in kindergarten when you told me to go play with John in the sandbox. Did you already know I was gay?”

Daphne waited for Justin to continue, but he glanced around the kitchen, staring at the stove where the pot filled with milk was still simmering. “You're stalling. You know you're going to tell me, so just say it. I'll be quiet until you're finished talking.” She finished her hot chocolate and poured some additional milk in her cup and then put the cocoa mix in the mug. 

“Brian was really freaked out about the accident. When I came home, I wanted him--it calms me.” He stared into his cup, not looking at his friend. “That first time he tried giving me a blow job... I got a fucking panic attack--couldn't breathe, etc. He called the paramedics and when he was sure I was okay, he left and went to Babylon, got drunk and got sucked off.” Justin finished his drink and pushed his mug toward the middle of the table. Daphne got up to refill his cup and returned it to him. “Meanwhile he started avoiding me--I didn’t have a clue what was happening—and he started drinking like a fish.” Moisture started pooling in his eyes and he wiped at them, trying to stay the tears. “He finally told me what happened and I moved out to my studio. We've talked some, but ...” The tears refused to be wiped away and he let them fall down his face, making tear tracks on his cheeks.

Daphne went into the bathroom off the kitchen and returned with the box of Kleenex, pushing it toward Justin. He grabbed a few, blew his nose and wiped his eyes, and threw them in the trash.

“I don't want to leave him, Daph. He's my world, imperfect as he is. I love him. I can even forgive him for the trick--he was drunk. That's really the problem, his drinking. He would never have gone tricking if he wasn't drunk. I've ignored it for too long and now I can't.”

“So Brian's drinking is the problem.”

“No wonder you're one of the most sought-after psychiatrists in the area. You're so good at your job!” He smiled a tiny smile.

“Does Brian think he has a problem?”

“I don't know.”

“Justin?” She questioned him with the inflection in her voice, knowing that he knew the answer.

“No. He'll tell you he controls his drinking.” Justin admitted in defeat. “I talked to Blake--you know Ted's husband, and he said that unless Brian admits he has a problem, he can't help him. I'm so screwed, Daph.”

“You're telling me that you can forgive Brian, since he was drinking, and YOU know that its an issue. You're allowing him to use his drinking as an excuse for his bad behavior.”

Justin nodded. “Fuck! When you say it like that... I'm giving Brian an excuse to get away with all kinds of shit.”

“Does he...?”

“Does he what?”

“Get away with shit--I mean when he's drunk.”

“He hides in his drinking. Sometimes he drinks instead of telling me shit that's bothering him. I know…” Justin stopped mid-sentence and listened to his words. “ Shit. That's enabling. I read that this morning. The experts say that an alcoholic has a group of people around him, and that each person has a role. I'm the enabler--letting him use his alcohol for an excuse. Shit! I'm just as fucking guilty as he is.”

“You didn't trick, Justin,” Daphne reminded him gently.

“No. I think I need to have another talk with Blake. Thanks Daphne.”

“The alcohol is one thing, Justin. What about the other?”

Justin played with the mug, moving it around the kitchen table. “You do ask the hard questions.”

“I love you, Justin. Don't forget I've known you forever.”

“I guess we have to work on that too. Regardless of the alcohol, we need to talk about the trick.”

Daphne picked up the cups from the table and put them in the dishwasher. She poured out the remaining milk into the sink and cleaned the pot. Returning to the table, she leaned in close to Justin, waiting for him to continue.

“I guess I have to decide. I told him I forgive him--he was under a lot of stress. Yeah, I know, enabling, but that's okay since I'm aware of what I'm doing.”

“Is it okay?”

“Yeah. It really is, Daph. We need to work on a few things, like communication, but I'm not walking out that door unless he kicks me out. And... even then he'd probably have to kick me out more than once before I left.”

Daphne put out her hand, squeezing Justin's for support. “You were always stubborn.”

Justin smiled his 'sunshine smile'. “I was Brian's stalker and I won my prize. It's one I cherish and don't have any intention of giving up.”

Daphne looked at the clock above the stove. “I have to be at the office in forty five minutes--I have an early evening appointment. Call me if you want to talk again, Justin. Don't be a stranger,” she admonished.

“You've been a big help, Daphne, as always.” Justin stood up and kissed her on the cheek and then walked her to the door. “Thanks... for everything.”

She left and Justin went upstairs to their bedroom.

Opening the door, he looked at their room with a critical eye. Everything was in its place, a silent tribute to Brian's need for order. The bed was made and Brian's reading glasses were on the night stand. On Justin's side of the bed was a bottle of allergy medicine and a box of Kleenex. He could see the bathroom; the shower walls were spotless, the sinks empty save the soap dispenser, and the towels were hung on the racks. 

Over their bed was a huge painting Justin had completed after Brian's accident. Brian always told him that this was one of his favorite pieces as it was full of joy. Justin knew that when he came back from New York to live with Brian, his life was filled with joy, honest joy as Brian had asked him to return. There were no bombs, no bashings, just them, and they had made a commitment to each other. That was when they had decided to be monogamous. Brian had made the ultimate commitment to him and to their relationship. Justin painted that piece right after his New York show when they truly consummated their union.

He sat on the bed staring at the painting, reliving his joy at being with Brian and the happiness they had experienced through the years. Their commitment, an extension of their relationship, was forever. No ceremony had been performed; this was their own interpretation. Brian had been with him during the accident, one of many hard times they had shared through the years. He laughed as he thought of the story Brian shared with him regarding being wheeled out of the hospital as a patient, only to turn around one second later and go up the elevator as his partner. _His partner. I'm his partner and partners deal with life. We don't run away when everything isn't perfect. Shit! We reverted to our old habits--running when I'm upset and Brian drinking._

“Justin!” Gus yelled as he bounded up the stairs. “Where are you? I got my uniform for the playoffs today.”

Gus' yelling brought him out of his reverie. Brian walked into their bedroom to change out of his work clothes and was surprised to see Justin sitting on the bed.

“Here to greet me, Sunshine?” Brian eyed him hopefully as he went to stand in front of Justin as he lowered his zipper.

Justin stood up and kissed Brian chastely on the mouth. “No, I was just thinking. Sorry. I'll go see Gus while you change.” Justin walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.

“I'm right here, Gus. Now where's this uniform? I swear you and your dad are so alike, getting excited about clothes,” he teased Gus as he gave him a smile.

Gus laughed at the easy banter. “Soooo. We'll be the best-dressed soccer team out there. Can I help it if I want to look good on the field as well as off? By the way, do you think we could buy me another pair of cleats this weekend?”

“We just bought you a pair two weeks ago.” Justin frowned.

“I want an almost fresh pair for the tournament. The pair you just bought will be worn down after all the practices. Ask Dad, he'll tell you. Although this time, can we do without the dramatics? I have enough of that at home with the moms.”

Justin winced at Gus' reminder of the last shopping experience. “I think that can be arranged. Let's go down to the kitchen and get you some food. I'm sure you're starving.”

“Food is always good. What's for dinner?”

“Not sure what Rosa made, but I'm sure it'll be great. Your dad chose a great cook when he hired her.” Justin and Gus bounded down the stairs and Brian followed shortly afterward.

Rosa had set the table for the three men, and left the dishes by the stove top as she had been doing since Justin's accident. 

“Let's wash up and we'll eat. Brian what do you want to drink?”

“It's been a long week. I'll have a beer. I think Rosa bought some soda for Gus. What do you want, Sonny Boy?”

“What about root beer? I don't get that often. Mom Mel doesn't like JR drinking soda so she doesn't buy it. Mama lets me get it when we go to the diner to visit grandma.”

“Beer and root beer coming up. I think I'll have a beer too.” Justin grabbed the beers and placed them between his arm and body. Brian grabbed the beers. Justin returned to the refrigerator and grabbed Gus' root beer.

Brian served Justin and himself, bringing the plates to the table as he'd been doing for the last month. Gus served himself. Gus was very hungry and started eating right away. Brian opened both beers and gave one to Justin, and then took a long draw from his. He took a few bites of food as he watched Justin sitting across from him. “Who is on the team, Gus? Anyone we know?”

Gus finished swallowing his mouth full of food. “ Sandburg, Harkness, MacLeod, and Ryan all made the team. I think you know everybody but Ryan. He's a freshman.”

“Sandburg. He's the short, curly-headed kid. He's pretty fast. Harkness and MacLeod are good defensive men. Sounds like your coach picked well. What position does Ryan play?”

“He's an alternate, but he plays forward. He's made over ten goals this season.”

“I can't wait to see the games. While I'm not up on the positions like your dad, I will admit it is an exciting game to watch.” Justin washed down his food with some beer.

“What did you do today?” Brian asked as he looked at Justin.

“I painted a little, brought stuff over from my studio, and Daphne came over.”

“And how is the great doctor? I'm surprised she stayed away this long. You guys have your regular pow wow?” Brian half-teased.

“We had a good visit and yes, we talked. Daphne knows me better than anyone--except you.”

Brian's gut clenched at the mention of Daphne. Justin always talked to Daphne and he was thankful that she liked him. As a psychiatrist she would know to keep her mouth shut, or at least he hoped she would. He wondered what she told him to do, hoping she encouraged him to come back to their bed. A part of him feared she would agree with Justin and it would be a long time before he returned.

“How was your day? Was it as productive as yesterday?” Justin's eyes twinkled as he asked the question.

Brian caught the playfulness and felt his body relax a little. “No unscheduled visitors today, but it was still fairly productive. I'm glad that it’s Friday. Enough about work.” Brian turned toward Gus. “Why don't you tell me what's going on with your moms?”

Gus got up from the table and put more food on his plate. “Dad!” the plea was heard by both men.

“We've got all weekend, and I think that if you talk now you won't be waiting for a 'good' time later. This way, we can fix the problem and we can all enjoy the weekend. So, I repeat, what's going on in Muncherland?”

“Okay. But I don't really think you can fix this, Dad. Things are really tense there. They yell all the time.”

“What do they argue about?” Justin asked as he got up to take his empty plate to the sink.

“Lots of things. They argue about work. Mama wants Mom to stop working so many hours, but Mom says she can't since she's got these important cases now that she's a partner. They're rarely home together and when they are... Hormones. I swear one minute they’re sweet loving women, the next they are bitches. They argue about JR--what activities she should be involved in after school, who her friends are, you name it--she's the subject of it. They also started getting on my case about my study habits. Mom wants to be sure I get into a 'good ' college. They yell about my after-school activities, wanting to know where I am every second of every day. Shit, Dad. They argued when I told them I was coming here for the weekend. They questioned me about my motives and didn't I like spending time with them anymore. I know they're my moms, but you can see why I wanted to leave.”

“I'm glad you're not a woman, Justin. I don't think I could handle you during menopause,” Brian snarked.

“Daddd,”

“Gross, Brian. That's not even funny.”

“I mean when I come to Britin, things are different. You guys don't argue, don't hassle me. We have fun together. It's great. I wish I could live here all the time.”

Justin looked at Brian, wondering how he would respond to Gus, especially after their discussion last night.

“We argue, Gus. That's a part of being in a relationship.”

“But look at you two. I've never seen two people more committed. It's just--with the moms--I wonder if they really love each other. They're so mean to each other and say some really spiteful things.”

“We all hurt the ones we love, even me and Justin.”

“You'd never hurt Justin, Dad.,” Gus informed his dad.

“Actually Gus... I did some really stupid things recently and hurt Justin very badly.”

Gus looked at Justin, watching for confirmation of his dad's comments. Seeing the moisture pool in Justin's eyes, he realized his dad was telling the truth. “But...”

“Gus, what I think your dad is trying to tell you is people allow others to see their public persona, not what they are like in private. No one knows what occurs behind closed doors except the people in the relationship. Even if your dad and I are fighting, it doesn't mean that you're not welcome in our home. You're our son and we love you.” Justin stood up and walked over to Gus, bending down to give him a slight ruffle on his head.

He walked over to Brian, leaned in really close so that only Brian could hear, “Thank you. I love you.” He kissed him softly on the lips and left the room.

“Impressionable kid here.”

“Do you want me to talk to your moms? Tell them to lay off you a bit.”

Gus picked up his plate and took it to the sink. “That'd be great, Dad. Would you?”

“Sure. Would you like to live with us, Gus?” Brian asked as the thought occurred to him.

Gus' face lit up with a smile that could rival Justin's. “Really? That would be so cool. No more estrogen and their nagging.”

“Oh, I don't know about that, Gus. Justin and I can nag with the best of them. You'll still have responsibilities and I'm still your dad.”

“Would you talk to Justin this weekend? It would be so cool to come live with you two.”

“I'll talk to Justin, but I also have to get your moms' approval.”

“I'm sure they'll say yes, Dad. I'd be one less thing they'd have to deal with.” Gus' snarkiness rivaled his father's as he said this statement.

“Let's go find Justin.” Brian took his plate to the sink as well. “I think he may be in the media room.”

The Kinney men found Justin looking through the movies in the media room, just as Brian predicted. 

“I thought we might watch "Death at a Funeral"; I hear it's funny as hell.”

“Okay.”

They watched the movie, laughing at the British farce and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

“I'm exhausted,” Justin announced as he bent down to take out the DVD. “Gus told me he wants to go shopping in the morning. Seems he feels that he needs new cleats for the tournament--said something about you understanding.” Justin put the DVD in the case and left it by the table at the doorway. They always kept things that needed to go into town on the table so they wouldn't forget.

“He's right. My Sonny Boy is a smart one. Stores open at 9:00. Do you have anything else you need in the Pitts?” Brian asked as he looked at Gus. 

“No. Just the cleats. I was hoping we could spend part of the afternoon kicking the ball around. Last time, you gave me a run for my money. Dad, you never should have stopped playing. Ever thought of an adult league?”

“I get my exercise at the gym and in other ways, Sonny Boy.”

“Dad,” Gus groaned at the unsubtle innuendo. “At least here you guys are at the other end of the hallway. At home, I can hear the Moms.” Gus shivered at the thought.

“What time do I need to be ready, Brian? I'll set my alarm.”

“No hurry to get there early. We've got all day. I'd say set it for 9:30.” Brian set the house alarm and then walked over to Justin, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips and a half hug. “Sleep well.”

“’Night Gus. ‘Night Brian.” Justin turned to walk up the stairs.

“Stop. What the fuck is going on? Dad, why is Justin setting his alarm and why aren't you two walking up the stairs together?” Gus looked at the men accusingly.

Brian ran his hand over his face and pinched his nose with his forefinger and thumb as he squinted his eyes. “It's complicated Gus.”

“I'm practically an adult here. I'll be seventeen in two weeks. Same age as Justin was when he met you,” Gus threw the information at Brian.

Brian looked between Justin and Gus, seeing the deer in the headlights look on Justin’s face. He walked over to the couch and sat down, motioning for them to join him.

“Remember earlier when we were talking at dinner, Gus?”

“Sure. It was just a few hours ago.”

“I said I hurt Justin recently.”

“And?” he quietly encouraged his Dad, seeing him slouch on the couch.

“We're working on fixing it, but it’s going to take some time.”

“I see. But you said you would talk to Justin about me. How could you lie to me?” Gus accused.

Brian got up from the couch and walked over to the window. “I didn't lie Gus. We're working on the problem. It will take time for Justin and me to heal, but we will. You aren't part of the problem. Like Justin said, what people see is not what actually happens in our private arena. That's only for Justin and me to deal with, no one else.”

“But I don't understand, Dad. You two ate dinner together and we watched a movie. Justin kissed you and you guys held hands during the movie. How can you say you are fighting?” Gus walked over to Brian and stood next to him but didn't touch him.

Brian turned toward the room, looking at Justin, who said, “Gus. Sometimes when adults fight, they forgive each other but they still need time to deal with their feelings. I need some time. I still love your Dad and I love you. That hasn't changed.”

“If you say so. Gee, when the Moms fight they tend to pack up and leave. Glad you two aren't like that. Shit, I remember one time Mom took me to live with Grandma Peterson. That was really weird.” Gus walked over to Justin and gave him a gentle hug. “I don't pretend to get you two, but I believe you when you say you're working on it. ‘Night Justin. ‘Night Dad. See you in the morning.” Gus bounded up the stairs to prepare for bed.

Justin started to walk up the stairs, but heard Brian call, “Wait.” Turning around, he returned to the media room.

“Thanks.”

“I just told him the truth, Brian. I knew he could handle it.” Justin reiterated his earlier statement.

“I know, but thanks for not making me the bad guy. I'm the one...”

“Brian. Stop.” Justin walked over to Brian, reaching for his hand. “We made a commitment seven years ago. That commitment meant... I mean... means a lot to me and I think it does to you too. I still love you. That hasn't changed. We have some talking to do, but now's not the time. Let's enjoy Gus and the weekend.”

Brian leaned over and kissed Justin softly on the lips. “I said I'd wait and I will. I love you, Justin Taylor.” Brian looked at his partner and saw the tired eyes and the exhaustion on his face. “Go to bed. You need to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow and I promise to stay in my bed tonight.”

Justin grinned at Brian's concerned words. “I love you too. ’Night again. I'll see you in the morning.”

The next morning they met in the kitchen to eat breakfast. Justin was placing some bread in the toaster when Brian came down. He kissed Justin on the lips and then picked up two coffee cups, pouring each of them some coffee.

“Did you sleep better last night?” Justin asked as he took a plate out of the cabinet.

“Better, but you know what will help me sleep even better.” Brain eyed Justin from head to toe.

“Kid here,” Gus chimed in.

“Eat your breakfast. We have a few errands to run while we're in town and I want to have time to kick the soccer ball around this afternoon.” Brian took three spoonfuls of sugar and placed them in his coffee, and then stirred the mixture.

After breakfast they went into town, bought Gus' soccer cleats, rented a few movies, and bought some milk, Oreo's, and guava juice. They stopped by the diner for lunch.

“Sunshine,” Debbie yelled from across the diner as she made her way to the door. “So good to see you.”

“Hi Grandma.”

“Hi sweetheart.” She gave Gus a big kiss on the cheek, wiping the lipstick off as she saw the imprint. “The back booth is empty. I'll be right with you.”

“And hello to you too, Deb,” Brian teased.

Debbie gave Brian a kiss on the cheek as well, which she promptly wiped off the lipstick. “Glad you got Sunshine out of the house. He's looking paler than ever.”

Brian gave her a little half smile, placed his hand on the small of Justin's back and walked with him and Gus to the table. Gus slid in and Justin sat next to him, leaving Brian sitting on the opposite side, facing the two.

“I'm starving. I think I'll have a burger, fries and a shake. Maybe even a lemon bar for dessert,” Justin announced as he looked at the menu.

“You don't have to be starving to eat that. That sounds like your normal fare when you dine at Chez Liberty,” Brian teased. “Now, if you told Debbie that you wanted the double burger, onion rings and a large shake, I would think you were starving. Remember, Justin, you're not getting as much 'exercise' as normal, so you want to watch what you eat and don't make that bubble butt a balloon butt.” Brian picked up the menu, lifting his eyes over the edge as he delivered his edict.

Gus rolled his eyes, used to the banter between his two dads. Silently he thanked the powers that be for keeping them together despite their ‘disagreement’. He wished his moms could take a lesson or three from them, but knew that Justin’s and his Dad’s love for each other was a much stronger bond than that of his mothers.

“What you going to order, Sonny Boy? You're awfully quiet over there.”

“Just thinking, Dad.”

“That can be dangerous. Anything you want to talk about?” Justin asked, knowing Brian would never volunteer to 'talk'.

“Just thinking that I'm glad that you two can be civil even if you're arguing, and wishing my moms could take a few lessons from you.”

“Gus, it’s taken a long time for your Dad and me to get to this point in our lives. For many years that's not how we dealt with our problems.” Justin looked around, trying to ensure there were no familiar faces in the crowded restaurant.

“Yoo Hoo. Look who's eating lunch,” Em said as he made his way to the back booth. “I'm so glad to see you out and about. It's been forever since we've seen you at the diner.” Em turned and looked at Ted who had followed him to the back booth.

Ted gently ribbed Em, trying to encourage him to be quiet. Em looked a second time at the booth, seeing Gus for the first time. “Gus, you get taller every time I see you. I bet you have all the boys hunting you down for a date.” Em smiled knowingly.

“Not every boy, but enough. The girls too.” Gus frowned at the word ‘girls’.

“You do have the Kinney looks and charm. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.”

“Honeycutt, will you refrain from talking about my son's dating life.” Brian waved his hand in a shooing motion. “If you don't mind, we were having a nice family lunch. Go find your own booth.”

Emmett ignored Brian for the moment. “Justin, the next time you're in town, you must come over to the kitchen. I have a few new items for you to try. I know you just love chocolate and I've created a new chocolate torte that is just divine.” He made a a twisting motion with his arm and hand, adding a flourish to his statement.

“Come on, Emmett. We need to eat and shop. Remember you promised to help me buy Blake a gift for his office.” Ted placed his hand on Emmett's shoulder, leading his best friend away.

“How long have you known Ted and Aunty Em, Dad?”

“Forever.”

“You mean you grew up with them? That's so cool.”

“Not quite. I met Ted through your Mom. Evidently Mel and Ted had met in college. When Lindsey hooked up with Mel, Ted came with the package.” Brian stopped for a moment, thinking. “Em--he lived with Michael for awhile. He met Godiva when he came to town and Godiva was friends with Vic, that's Michael's uncle who died. When his apartment burned down, he asked Michael if he would be willing to have a roommate. Michael was always looking for roommates--couldn't keep them for more than a month or so. Em moved in, went with Michael everywhere, and just became part of the family.”

“I like Em. He seems like a good friend who will always help you if you need it,” Gus remarked as Debbie came up to the table to take their order.

“Damn straight. He may be a nelly queen, but he's the best friend a guy could ask for. Loyal to a fault.”

“Why Debbie, that sounds surprisingly personal,” Brian half-teased.

“You better believe it. When he lived with me, he used to listen to my troubles all the time. He helped me so much when Vic died. He may be a nelly queen, but he's a gentleman. Debbie's eyes moistened a little, but no tears fell. “So what'll it be, boyz? I've got lots of hungry customers and I don't have all day to chit chat.”

“Burger, fires, vanilla milkshake for me, Deb”

“Chicken salad--dressing on the side and an iced tea.”

“Sour dough melt with onion rings and a chocolate shake.”

“At least you don't always order the same thing every time, Gus. Your Dads here are so predictable.”

“I'll have you know I ordered a turkey sandwich just last week,” Brian said, half-indignantly.

“Okay--turkey sandwich or chicken salad--little variety.”

“I get all the variety I need at home, thank you very much.” Brian smiled and winked at Justin.

“Sure you do. Order will be up in a few.” Debbie smiled and turned to place their order.

The three men sat in silence for a few moments, looking at the crowd in the restaurant. “What did you mean when you said that you and Dad were not always who you are today?”

Justin looked at Brian before answering. Brian nodded his head in agreement. Justin thought for a few moments before answering.

“Gus, it's not an easy answer. Relationships are complicated.” Justin played with his water glass, swirling it on the table.

“Everyone comes to a relationship with the information they learned as kids. For instance, my parents gave me lots of love and acceptance while I was growing up. That changed when I came out and I don't need to go into Craig's reaction to that as you know my feelings on the subject.”

“Craig's an asshole,” Brian chimed in.

“Brian,” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “We're not talking about Craig. That discussion is one for another day.” Justin scooted a little toward the outside of the booth and turned toward Gus, looking him in the eye. “Your Dad, on the other hand, came from an emotionally abusive home. His Dad was an alcoholic and his Mom ignored him. He really didn't feel love until he met Michael and Debbie. Debbie is his Mom, as far as he's concerned.”

“So you had a great childhood and Dad had a shitty one. I already knew that. Tell me something I don't know.”

“Because your Dad didn't feel love from his parents, he developed an attitude that love was something he didn't deserve, something that wasn't really possible. It took him a long time to recognize his feelings as love. Even then, it was years before he told me he loved me.”

“Shit, Justin. Why'd you stay if he never admitted he loved you?”

“Because I loved him and he showed me he loved me by his actions. When I was being smart, I saw that he loved me. It was just when I was being an immature jerk that I demanded the words.”

Brian smiled at the explanation and reached his hand for Justin's. He clasped their hands and nodded for Justin to continue the lesson.

“What's that got to do with anything? I know the history--it's Family 101. I must have heard it a thousand times.”

“While we've known each other since you were born--almost seventeen years--we've only been a couple for ten. It took your Dad and me seven long years to realize we wanted to be together. During those seven years, I left several times and your Dad dealt with our fighting in other ways.”

“You mean drinking and going to Babylon. I've heard the stories from Mom.”

“Leave it to Mel to always show my best side,” Brian said, the tinge of anger evident in his voice. He hated that Mel always denigrated him.

“Anyway Gus, when two people get together, they bring their upbringing with them. I learned to just walk away from an argument because it’s not polite or good social graces to argue. Your Dad learned to dull the pain. We had to learn how to talk to each other and work things out. We're still not perfect, but we're better than we were.”

“But what about me? The moms fight, scream and throw things and you two kiss and hold hands when you're fighting. What will I bring to a relationship?”

“Sorry to burst your perfect picture bubble, Gus, but we yell and scream too--just not in front of people. You'll do fine, Sonny Boy. You've seen both ways of dealing with things and you'll figure it out when the time comes. I think I've had enough life discussions for one afternoon. Let's say we talk about the tournament.”

“Okay. But one more thing, Dad. I'm really glad that you and Justin have figured it out. I can't imagine not having the two of you as my Dads.” Gus leaned over and gave Justin a half-hug and grabbed Justin’s and Brian's hands, adding his hand on top and squeezing them both.

“Me too, Gus.” Justin unclenched his hand from Brian's and squeezed Gus' hand in return.

“Good to know.” Brian repeated Justin's clasp with Gus' hand just as Debbie brought them their food.

“Food's up. You coming to Sunday dinner tomorrow? No more working for you?” she quizzed Brian.

“Yes, Ma. We'll be there. I've got all my work caught up.” He grinned at her and nodded toward Gus and Justin.

“Good. See you tomorrow. I've got a restaurant full of hungry homos.”

While Brian, Justin, and Gus ate their lunch, Emmett and Ted surreptitiously eyed the back booth. They had a side view of the Taylor-Kinneys/Kinney-Taylors and they were both anxious to watch the men.

“Teddy, it looks like Brian and Justin have settled things. They don't look like they're arguing anymore.” Emmett played with his napkin and unwrapped his silverware. “Justin was so unhappy the other day. It was so sad.”

“Em, Brian wouldn't appreciate us talking about them. Remember we're not supposed to know anything,” Ted reminded him as he glanced around the room.

“I know. They look really serious and Justin keeps glancing around the room. Wonder what they could be talking about, especially with Gus there?” Emmett picked up the menu, looking at the offerings. “He is such a cutie. I wonder if he really does like boys? It would make Brian so proud.”

Ted frowned as he picked up his own menu. “Don't know why I look at this thing. It hasn't changed in all the years I've been eating at the diner.” He put the menu back behind the napkin dispenser. “You really should be more careful what you say about Gus in front of Brian. If it’s possible, he's more protective of him than he is of Justin.”

“Who would've thought? Brian Kinney, the protective Dad. They are cute together, the three of them.”

“We'll see them tomorrow at Deb's. Why don't we leave our speculations until then?” Ted looked around for Deb and waved her over to their table.

“Hold your horses. It’s not like you two are going to leave here and go fuck. Now what do you want for lunch?”

Ted shook his head at Debbie's crassness, but didn't say a word, understanding that silence was a better option at this point. “I'll have the pink plate special with iced tea.”

Deb wrote the order down on her pad and turned to Emmett. “And you?”

“I think I'll have the meatloaf. I need the protein.”

“Is Drew out of town?”

Emmett laughed. “I'll have you know... oh never mind. The meatloaf please, and a glass of lemonade. I'm ready for the spring and it will get me in the mood.”

“Look, Teddy. They're all holding hands. How sweet.”

“Em, I told you to stop watching them. Now, why don't you tell me your ideas for Blake's present?”

TBC


	22. Chnage Is In The Air

After lunch they ran their errands and returned to Britin.

“Dad, are you up to kicking the soccer ball around? We've got a few more hours of daylight and you're as good as coach when it comes to putting me through the moves.” Gus tossed his soccer ball in the air as he waited for his dad's response.

“I guess that could be arranged. Want to come watch?” he asked Justin as he watched him put the guava juice in the refrigerator and take the DVD's out of the bag. 

“No. You two go ahead. I think I'll use the computer for a bit. My arm's getting stronger every day. I've got a piece I started a few days ago that I want to work on.”

Brian raised his eyebrows, wondering what it might look like since they were in the midst of a big argument at the time, but he kept quiet. “Why don't we change into our gear and I'll meet you in the mud room in twenty minutes.”

“Great.” Gus went up to his room and quickly changed. Since it didn't take him long, he sat on his bed thinking about the conversation at lunch. He wondered if his moms would let him move here? He thought it would be so cool to live with his Dad and Justin. They had Rosa, who cooked for them--and there wouldn't be any more ‘who's going to cook dinner or clean up’. They had all the money they needed so there would be no more arguments about working late to pay for those lessons or this trip. He thought It would be so great to live with them, solving many of his problems. Gus put on his shin guards and socks and went downstairs to wait for his dad.

Justin went to his studio while Brian changed. Gus had played soccer since he was four, so Brian kept a full set of gear at his disposal. He bought new cleats and shin guards every few years and made sure there was a soccer ball available. He enjoyed playing with Gus, and now that he was older, their skill level was similar. Brian had been a star player in his youth and still enjoyed the game.

They met in the mud room and went to the back yard to practice. They started with passing drills and moved on to long runs, where they moved the ball between cones that they placed in the yard. Gus spent half an hour placing kicks into the goal while Brian played goalie. Few balls made it into the net. They practiced for almost two hours and they were tired when they finished.

“Good job, Sonny Boy. Coach has definitely been working on your kicking skills these last few weeks. I'm certain your team will kick everyone's ass next week at the tournament. I've told Cynthia to clear my calendar for all your games, and I think Justin plans on being there too.”

Gus wiped the sweat from his brow with his towel and drank half a bottle of Gatorade to replenish his energy. “Dad, let's stretch and then hit the shower.”

Justin had just returned to the house when they came in. “Have a good practice? You both looked wiped out.” He handed Brian a bottle of water and grabbed a banana for himself.

“Sonny Boy is a great player.” Brian gulped the water and finished it in one drink. “I'm going to shower. Want to join me and I can help you take yours?” Brian offered.

““Dad!” Gus groaned.

Gus, I need help showering because of my arm.” Justin explained as he threw his peel away.

“I didn't think about that. I guess it would be hard to wash your hair and stuff.” Gus took his sweaty towel and threw it in the laundry room. “I'm going to shower and then do some homework. I'll be glad when summer comes and I don't have to work on pre-calculus.”

Brian and Justin went upstairs to their bedroom, where Brian stripped his clothing and helped Justin take off his. He went into the shower, adjusting the water temperature to a lukewarm, not as hot as he would like, but acceptable to Justin.

Stepping into the shower, Brian rinsed the sweat from his body and grabbed the soap, washing his body quickly. He wet his hair and traded places with Justin. After soaping his hair, he took the soap and washed Justin's body. When he got to Justin's cock, he played with it, quickly getting it hard. 

“Briannn,” Justin sighed in pleasure.

“Like that, Justin?” He continued to milk the hard cock as he pressed his body against Justin's back. 

Justin was lost in the sensation for a few moments, but then pulled away. He turned around, kissing Brian on the mouth in a soft, gentle kiss. “We need to talk; maybe when Gus leaves.” He grabbed the shampoo off the shelf and handed it to Brian, signaling the end of the sex play.

“Shit,” Brian said under his breath. He opened the shampoo, poured some in his palm and washed Justin's hair. He washed his own hair and rinsed both their bodies. After turning off the shower, he stepped out and pulled a heated towel off the rack and gave it to Justin, and then pulled a second one for himself. 

After Justin dried himself, he hung up his towel and Brian did the same. They went into the bedroom to get dressed. 

Brian pulled a shirt off the hanger and said casually, “I asked Gus if he'd like to live with us? What do you think?”

Justin sat on the bed, pulling on his underwear. “He's that unhappy?”

“The grass is always greener...”

Justin stood up to put on a pair of cargoes to repeat the routine. “Do you think the girls would let him do it?”

“Maybe. If Gus is accurate, they argue all the time and money is really tight. Face it, Justin. He's my son and wants the very best of everything. Clothing, shoes...”

“But money isn't everything, Brian. Mel's always talking about what a terrible father you are.”

“Yet they let him come here whenever it’s convenient for them. Hell, they accept my money freely enough.”

“You want this, don't you?”

Brian came over to the bed, sitting next to Justin. He placed a soft kiss on his lips and looked Justin in the eye. “I never thought I wanted to be a father, much less a full time one, but... yes, I want this.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. That's it, just okay?”

Justin stood up to grab a shirt, carefully putting it on so as not to aggravate his arm. “I love Gus. I consider him my son, but ultimately Brian, this is your decision.”

“I'll give Lindsey a call in the morning.” Brian kissed Justin and finished getting dressed.

 

Gus finished his homework, and Brian worked a little on a new campaign while Justin read an art magazine. They ordered pizza for dinner and watched _Borat_.

“I think I'm going to bed, Dad. I've got more homework to do tomorrow before we go to Grandma's, and I promised JR I'd take her bowling. See you in the morning.”

Justin and Brian cleaned up the media room, putting away the DVD and bringing the popcorn bowl to the kitchen. Justin followed Brian to their bedroom and softly closed the door, going to the bed to sit down. Brian was ecstatic that Justin was joining him. 

Brian eyed Justin, smiling at his partner. When he saw that Justin was not moving to get undressed, he finished hanging up his pants and asked, “Why aren't you getting undressed?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Gus moving here.”

Brian waved his hand toward the seating area in their bedroom, and Justin joined him in the cozy area. “You were right to have this area set up in here. There have been many times that we've sat and talked here.”

Justin laughed.

“What's so funny?”

“Just something Emmett said. I told him we actually talk a lot and he scoffed. I told him that we don't just fuck all the time. He seemed to think about that, but dismissed the idea.”

“Despite my protestations, you have gotten me to talk, something I truly despise.” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek. 

“We both know that while our sex life is hot as hell, it wouldn't really hold us together,” Justin commented as he got up to get two bottles of water. Returning to the seating area, he gave them to Brian to open, holding his hand out for his opened bottle.

“Shh... Somebody will learn our secret,” Brian whispered as he put his finger up to his lips in a quieting motion. “You've changed me, Justin--in ways I would never have imagined. I have a partner--a word I would never have used except in business. I have a big house in the country, and I'm monogamous--haven't gotten my dick sucked by anyone but you in seven years.”

Justin paled as he said the last part. Brian quickly stood up, walking to Justin and bending down in front of his chair. “I'm sorry. So sorry, Justin. I didn't mean...”

Justin leaned down, placing his arms around Brian's neck, but winced at the sudden pain. He straightened up and gave Brian a half smile. “I know. I forgive you.” He motioned for Brian to get up and bend down towards him, and then kissed him gently on the lips. “I'm working on it, Brian, but I want to talk about Gus.”

Brian returned to his chair and took a sip of the cold water.

“Do you really think Gus moving here is a good idea?”

“Of course. Why?”

“Do you remember being a teenager?”

Brian rolled his eyes at the question. “I try not to--I didn't enjoy being a punching bag.”

Justin winced at the reminder of Brian's rough childhood. “Point taken, but at least you had Debbie.”

“And Michael. They were a life saver.”

“Did you ever think of moving in with Deb?”

“Sometimes, but I'm sure Jack and Joan would never have gone for it.”

“Do you remember when I came to live with you in high school?”

Brian grinned. “Your mother brought me a duffle bag filled with your underwear and a copy of fucking _Yellow Submarine_. Told me to make sure you took your allergy pills and got to school on time. I'll never forget that morning.”

“I was so happy to come live with you. I just knew that you wouldn't hassle me about homework, my grades, how late I stayed out. Of course we can't forget not hassling me about who I slept with since it was you.”

“Okay. Can we stop waltzing down memory lane and get to your point?” Brian groused.

“My point is...” Justin paused to emphasize his words. “I was thrilled to move in with you, thought all my problems would be solved, but I was wrong.” Justin finished his bottle of water and played with the screw cap in his hand. “You still hassled me about my homework, my problems at school didn't go away, and you fucked other guys besides me. I just didn't have to deal with my homophobic father.”

“Justin, I'm not exactly getting the point of your little lesson here. Gus doesn't have a homophobic father and he doesn't have parents that hit or ignore him. He's not escaping a horrible situation.” Brian stood up and walked across the room, occasionally massaging the bridge of his nose. “Sure he's hassled by the Munchers, but I don't think he's running away.”

“Are you sure?”

“I know my own kid. Would you like to talk to him before I talk to Lindsay? See for yourself that he's not 'running away'.”

“I'll talk to him at breakfast.”

“Okay. Anything else on your little agenda or can we go to bed? I'm beat,” Brian said as he walked over to seating area and started massaging Justin's shoulders. 

Justin let Brian massage his shoulders for a few minutes and reached up to grasp one of Brian's hands, squeezing it. “Thanks for the talk and the massage. I'll see you in the morning.” Justin got up to leave the room.

Brian quickly walked to him and turned Justin around, kissing him passionately on the lips. When they were done, he released him, but still kept his arms wrapped around his neck. “Sure you don't want to stay here? We could relive those early memories of you moving into the loft,” Brian said in a husky voice as he removed one of his arms and placed his hand on Justin's groin, stroking Justin's cock through his pants.

Justin reached down and removed Brian's hand as he pulled away from the embrace. “Not yet. Remember, I love you.” He turned again and walked out of their bedroom.

Justin was up early and made a pot of coffee, having become adept at using one hand to do many activities. He poured himself a cup as he read the Art section in the newspaper. As he was finishing the article about the new exhibit for up-and-coming artists at the Bloom gallery, Gus entered the kitchen.

“Coffee,” Gus grunted as he poured himself a mug. “This is the good stuff... Columbian. The moms never buy it--they say it's too expensive.”

Justin put down the paper, watching Gus drink his coffee. “The other night you mentioned that you wanted to move to Britin,” he casually mentioned as he walked to the bread box, taking out two pieces and popping them in the toaster.

“Yeah.”

“Why do you want to live with us way out here in the country? We're far from school and your friends.”

“I can see my friends at school, and Dad works pretty late so I'd be able to stay in town while Dad's working.”

“Wouldn't it be easier to come and go as you please?”

Gus looked at Justin as he was buttering his toast, trying to read his facial expressions. “Why are you asking, Justin?”

“I'm worried about you. This seems like such a sudden idea. I want to make sure that you've really thought about the decision.” Justin brought his toast to the table, indicating to Gus that he could take a piece.

“I love spending time with you and Dad. When I'm here, its really calm and there's no tension in the air--even with this thing going on with you two. You're civil to each other. At home, I leave the house as often as I can--sometimes I only sleep there,” Gus admitted.

“How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell us?” Justin asked as he frowned deeply at Gus' confession.

Gus took the other piece of toast and took a bite, prolonging his answer. “It's been this way for most of the school year. I study at the library or a friend's house. After school, I practice soccer or go to Uncle Michael's store and read the comics. He always lets me sit in back. Sometimes I visit Grandma, but she can be nosy and ask a lot of questions, so I try to go there only once a week.”

Justin got up, walking to the bread box. He pointed to the bread and Gus nodded his head that he wanted more food. Justin put the bread in the toaster. “So moving in with us would be a lot better for you. You'd have a place to retreat that was your own, not someone else's space.” The toaster dinged and Justin removed the toast, buttering it and placing it on the plate. 

“Yeah. It’s nice to be able to go to your room and not wonder if there'll be food for dinner--knowing that the groceries have been bought and you won't have to be a witness to a fight about buying the expensive coffee versus the mid-range one.”

“I'm sorry that you've had to live like that, Gus. I wish you'd spoken up earlier. Your Dad and I would be glad to have you come live with us. I'm sure we can convince your moms to let you move in.”

Gus got up from the table and hugged Justin. “I promise to do my homework, do my chores and do whatever you guys ask. Wait until I tell Sam, he'll be so happy.”

“Sam?”

“My best friend and current boyfriend,” Gus admitted. 

“You'll have to have him out to Britin. I would love to meet him.” Justin smiled at Gus and Gus beamed at the prospect.

“When do you think I could move in?”

Brian walked into the kitchen as Gus asked his question. He looked toward Justin and saw a big nod of affirmation. “I'll talk to Lindsay today before we go to Grandma Deb's. I'll see if she'll agree to having you stay here until the tournament. That won't send her into a tizzy. Hopefully after the tournament, she'll be so used to you not being there, the idea of you being here longer won't set her off. Then I will talk to her about you moving here permanently.”

“You think it will be that easy, Brian?” Justin asked as he walked over to get his morning kiss.

“No, not really, but I can always dream, Sunshine.” Brian took down his favorite mug, filling it with coffee. “I think this calls for pancakes. Do you think you boys have room in your stomachs for some pancakes from First Watch?”

“Sure.” Gus got up and ran out of the kitchen.

“So he convinced you that he wasn't running away?” Brian asked.

“You were right. Did you know that he usually only sleeps at the house? Things have gotten that bad. He finds places to go and people to hang out with and goes home to sleep. No wonder he loves coming out here so much. He can relax and just hang out without being witness to daily drama.” Justin placed his coffee mug on the counter and placed Brian's mug next to his. He leaned on Brian's chest as he shared his thoughts. “I'm glad we can offer him a safe place. I told him he should invite his boyfriend here. Did you know he had a boyfriend?”

“Not exactly. He kind of talked around the idea, saying he and a friend were going to the movies and spending the night, or going to a concert. I kind of suspected. Guess I'll need to reiterate Gay Sex 101 with him.”

“I want him safe too,” Justin said as he repeated the oft-used sentence from their earlier relationship. “I guess I need to get dressed if you're taking me out for breakfast. Want to help me put on my shirt?” Justin teased.

“If that's an invitation to see your gorgeous body... of course I'll help.” Brian playfully slapped Justin's butt as they walked up the stairs to their bedroom. 

They went upstairs and shared several strategically-placed kisses as Brian assisted Justin to get dressed. They didn't linger, knowing that Gus was waiting. They drove to the restaurant and ate breakfast. 

On the drive back, Gus asked, “I've been thinking Dad... If I move out here, maybe I could get a car so you won't have to drive me back and forth.”

Brian laughed. “Good try, Gus, but the answer is still no. I'm not ready to have several heart attacks every day, thinking of you driving back and forth to the Pitts.”

“Well, I had to try.”

“You wouldn't be a Kinney if you didn't ask for the moon, Gus. Fortunately, your Dad and I have discussed this particular subject several times. While buses are inconvenient, there is definitely something to be said for using public transportation. I will always know that you can safely get home from wherever you are in the Pitts. I used to ride the bus all the time when I was your age. My parents could afford to buy me a car, but they said that the bus was perfectly fine for my needs, especially since I didn't have too many time deadlines. Riding the bus is a great skill that will help you later in life.”

Gus rolled his eyes. “Is he like this a lot, Dad? I swear I feel like I just watched a Public Service Film in Civics class.”

Brain laughed. “Justin hasn't changed much in seventeen years, Gus. In fact the night I met him, he was giving me his Public Service Announcement about using condoms. Told me that he'd been told about practicing safe sex.”

“TMI, Dad,” Gus spoke from the back seat.

“Actually, Gus it is a perfect segue. Justin tells me you have a boyfriend. You do remember our talk about safe sex? ALWAYS use a condom. NEVER let anyone convince you they're clean and to do it raw.”

“DADDDD. I'm not stupid. I know about AIDS. Hello! I do know Uncle Ben and I've heard about Uncle Vic, although I don't remember him.”

“Good to know. I'm your father and I have responsibilities. One of those is to make sure you know about safe sex. Having fulfilled my fatherly duties, tell me about your boyfriend,” Brian half teased as he turned onto their street.

A loud groan was heard from the back seat. “What do you want to know?”

“Brian, remember this is not a court of law,” Justin tempered. He squeezed Brian's hand as he turned around and smiled at Gus.

“He's my age. I met him at the library in school. We were both using the computer. He's good-looking and I like him a lot.”

“Justin tells me that he told you to invite him over for dinner one night. What do you say?'

“That'd be cool. I talk about you guys all the time and he thinks that it'd be so neat to have parents that didn't freak when you told them you were gay.”

“Do his parents know?” Justin asked.

“Not really. I think they suspect but they just don't ask. They're like the military. Don't ask, don't tell.”

“I'll talk to Linds this afternoon before we go to Deb's and if she says okay, then maybe you can have him over one night this week.”

“Thanks Dad.”

Brian pulled the car into the garage and turned to the back seat to address Gus. “What are your plans for the rest of the day, Gus? Remember, we have to be at Deb's by 6:00. I thought I might call your mom and see if she'd meet me at 5:00 at the diner. You could drive Justin into town.”

“That's awesome. Can I drive the ‘Vette?”

“No, you may not drive the ‘Vette. You can drive the Saab. We haven't replaced Justin's car yet, but it will do to get you from here to there.”

“Okay. I thought we could kick the soccer ball around again. If not, we could watch another DVD.”

“Soccer it is. I need to burn off some of that big breakfast and I know Deb will be feeding me lots of carbs tonight.” Turning to Justin, he asked, “What are you plans for the afternoon?”

“I thought I might watch you two for a little, maybe sketch some. I know I'll have some good material.”

Justin went to his studio, grabbed his pencils and charcoal, and followed them outside. He sketched for about thirty minutes, let his hand rest, and then continued again. He made several preliminary sketches and then watched the father and son play soccer, marveling at the skill and ease of them. As the practice concluded, he gathered his supplies and deposited them in his studio. 

Brian and Gus came in and showered, returning to the media room, where Justin joined them. 

“Did you get in touch with Lindsay?” Justin asked as he grabbed a water. Handing it to Brian to open, he gave Gus and Brian their own bottles.

“Yeah, I called her before we went out. She seemed curious as to why I wanted to meet before going to Deb's, but she agreed.”

“What are you going to tell her, Dad?”

“I won't lie to her, Gus. I'll tell her you'd like to stay with us until after the tournament.”

“Your mom won't probably ask why,” Brian attempted to ease Gus' mind.

“Can you call me after you talk to her? I'd like to know before we go to Grandma's.”

“Sure. I probably should get going.” Brian grabbed his light jacket and walked to Justin to give him a good bye kiss.

Justin stood up, giving Brian a kiss on the lips and his version of a hug. Brian gave Gus a slap on the back. “Be careful driving Justin to Grandma's. I'll see you two in a few hours.”

“Bye, Dad.” Turning to Justin, he asked, “Can we watch something? I don't think I can concentrate on any more pre-calc.”

“Sure Gus. Let's watch some Graham Norton. I have a few saved on the TiVo. They always make me laugh.”

They watched a few episodes of Graham Norton and then Gus drove them into the city.


	23. Everyone Has Feelings

Brian walked into the diner, eyeing Lindsay in the back booth. He scooted in, placing his coat on the seat of the booth. Lindsay leaned over, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. 

“Brian, it’s so good to see you. You haven't been around a lot lately. How is Justin? We missed you two last week at Deb's.”

“Busy busy.” He looked at Kiki as she came up to take their order. “Coffee, black.”

“I'll have a coffee too, cream and sugar.”

“Sooo. What's so secretive that you wanted to meet with me before we went to Deb's?”

“With Gus' tournament coming up, I want him to stay with us so he can practice.”

“Is that all? Gus loves spending time with you and Justin. I don't see why not. If he's at your place, he can practice with you a lot.”

“Good. I told him I didn't think it would be a problem.”

“You’re his father. Why would I mind if he stayed with you?” Lindsey frowned.

“So you wouldn't mind if he came to live with me after the tournament?” Brian took two packets of sugar from the holder, ripped the top, and dumped them in his cup.

Lindsey swallowed hard, eyeing Brian to determine if he was joking. “You're serious.”

“Always.”

“Why?”

“He asked”

Lindsey lowered her eyes, taking a few moments before responding. “Brian...”

His eyes bored into her. “Cut the bullshit, Lindsay. What the fuck is going on in your life that your own son doesn't want to spend any time in his own home?”

“It's complicated, Brian. Raising two children with two working parents is very hard,” she tried explaining.

“Complicated,” he harumphed. “The only thing complicated is the two of you. Children need the same thing as everyone else--food, shelter, and to know they’re loved. What is so fucking complicated?”

“Jobs. Money. Do you realize how expensive it is to raise two children in this day and age?”

“I give you all the fucking money you need for Gus, and I can't help that between you and your wife you can't scrounge enough money for yourselves and J.R.” Brian bristled when she frowned at his statement.

“So why don't you try telling me the truth, Linds? Our son stays away from your home except to sleep. I repeat. What the fuck is going on?”

“I don't really want to go into it with you, Brian. It's between Mel and me.” She waved Kiki over to refill her coffee, glad for the interruption into the tense conversation.

“Don't delude yourself. Gus asked to come live with me and Justin, and after our little tête-à-tête this afternoon, I think I'll tell him he can move in permanently.”

“I don't think that's a good idea. What about his school and his soccer? His friends are all in town and you live so far away.” Lindsay ticked off the reasons as if they were a rote answer.

Listening to the ease of her response put Brian on alert. “So he's asked to move before?”

Lindsay took a sip of her coffee and nodded her head slightly.

“Fuck, Lindsay. You are such a cunt. Your own son asks to leave and you don't even give me the courtesy of knowing. No wonder Gus wants to leave. It’s as if he is really a nuisance in your life.” 

Kiki refilled his coffee and he took two packets of sugar out of the bin and poured them in his fresh cup of coffee.

“It’s not like that. He's my son. I love him...”

“This conversation is done. After dinner, we'll come over and pick up some of his things. After the tournament, we'll come by and get the rest.” Brian stood up, pulling out his wallet and placed a five dollar bill on the table.

“Brian...”

“I'll see you at Deb's.” He grabbed his coat and left the diner. Instead of walking to the car, he turned left and walked down Liberty Avenue, oblivious to the bright-colored window displays and the flags waving in the late afternoon breeze. He walked for a few blocks before realizing that he'd come to the end of the street, and was only a few blocks from Debbie's house. He couldn't show up this early; Deb would know there was something wrong and she'd give him the third degree about where Justin was and why he wasn't with him. Instead, he turned around and walked back to his car, driving to a nearby Starbucks.

He entered the familiar green building, ordering his favorite Latte, and went to the back table to enjoy it. He pulled out his phone.

“Hey Dad,” Gus answered when he saw the familiar caller ID on the display.

“Hey Sonny Boy. Looks like you have yourself some new digs.”

Gus yelled, “Cool! That's awesome, Dad. You're the best.”

Justin heard Gus yell from the kitchen where he'd gone to grab a bottle of water. Walking back into the media room, he motioned for Gus to give him the phone.

“I take it you convinced Lindsay to let Gus stay here.”

“The bitch,” Brian cursed. “After our little discussion, I informed her that Gus will be moving in with us. She really didn't put up much of a fight.”

“Wow. That's a surprise. What did she say?”

“Not much, Sunshine. Just a lot of bullshit about how it’s complicated and how expensive it is to raise two children.”

“You give her shitloads of money for Gus. Where does she...”

“That's exactly what I told her, but enough about the Munchers. I don't really want to talk about them. Isn't it about time you and Gus left to come to Deb's?”

“Yes. We were leaving in a few minutes. We just had a few minutes left on the episode.”

“Okay. Later. Don't let Gus wreck the car.”

“Later,” Justin repeated the oft used phrase and hung up the phone. “Let's finish Graham Norton and then we should leave. I think your Dad would like to slip in quietly today rather than make his usual grand entrance.”

They finished the episode, and Gus drove into the city without any problems. They weren't the first to arrive, but neither were they the last. As hoped, their entrance wasn't noticed by anyone. Everyone chatted about the weekend, and then it was time for dinner. Debbie went to the kitchen, grabbing her famous Puttenesca and placed it on the table.

Gus was seated next to Brian and his sister, J.R. He was particularly quiet as he watched for any signs of discontent from either of his mothers, but was relieved and saddened to see none.

“Mom says you're going to live with Uncle Brian and Justin,” J.R. stated after she drank the last of her milk.

“Yes. It's so cool. We're going to get some of my stuff tonight.” Gus beamed at his sister.

Deb overheard the little snippet of conversation. “When did this happen? I didn't know anything about you moving, Gus?” Deb asked a little indignantly, as if she had to give permission for any big change in the family.

“I asked Dad this weekend, and Mom said ‘yes’. It’s pretty new to everyone,” Gus explained as he took another piece of bread off the plate.

“You're going to live with Brian and Justin. What about your school and your friends? They live so far out of town. It will be a big adjustment for Brian. He's not used to having you around," Deb said.

“I'm at Dad's most weekends, and it’s not a big deal to see my friends after school before Dad comes home after work,” Gus defended his decision.

“Deb, he doesn't need your permission,” Brian told her. “You act like he's never been to Britin. Not that it’s any of your business, but we've discussed all of these things.”

“I'm just saying...” Deb started to respond, but Brian cut her off.

“Gus wants to live with us. He's moving. End of discussion. We have to get some of Gus' clothing before we go home.” Brian pushed back his chair, looked at Gus and Justin and they did the same. They picked up their plates and brought them to the kitchen, and then grabbed their coats.

They said their goodbyes and drove to Gus' home, where he grabbed his clothing, some CDs, and his favorite DVDs. They loaded up both cars and returned to Britin. After unloading the cars, everyone was tired.

“I need a shower. I stink. Who knew a seventeen year old could have so much shit. What about you, Justin? Need some help in the shower?” Brian eyed his partner.

“I remember. Justin can't wash himself with his bad arm. What excuse will you two use when Justin's arm is healed?” Gus teased as he rolled his eyes at his father and Justin. “I'm taking a shower and going to bed. What time do I need to be up to leave for school?”

“School starts when?”

“First bell is at 8:15.”

“Shit. Okay. We leave at 7:30.”

“ 'Night Dad. ‘Night Justin. And Dad,” Gus turned to look at Brian before he ascended the steps, “Thanks. I don't think I could have lived there much longer.”

Brian didn't answer Gus, just nodded his head in acknowledgment of the statement. When Gus was out of view, he turned to Justin.

“Ready to get clean?”

“I feel really dirty. Being with Lindsay tonight really left a bad taste in my mouth. I kept feeling like I was being watched.”

“I got the same feeling. I really don't care what goes on in Muncherland. Gus is here and that's what matters. Now, I hear a shower calling our names.”

They undressed, throwing their clothing in the hamper and showered. Brian assisted Justin to wash his hair and torso, and gave him a quick hand job. Justin reciprocated the hand job and they enjoyed a few deep kisses. Brian shut off the water, grabbed a towel from the warmer, and handed it to Justin. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a warmed towel for himself and dried off. Justin hung up the towel and walked into the bedroom, grabbing some sweats and getting redressed. Brian looked at him quizzically but also donned a pair of sweats.

“It's been a busy day,” Justin said as he stretched his body and yawned.

“A veritable roller coaster. I woke up this morning as a part time Dad, and go to bed with my seventeen year old son expecting me to get him to school at 8:15 every morning.”

“Are you regretting your decision, Brian?”

“No apologies, no regrets.” He paused. “Okay almost none. No, it’s the right thing to do.”

Justin walked to the sitting area and invited Brian to join him.

“I think I need a drink. Want anything?” Brian walked over to the mini-bar they had in their bedroom and poured himself a shot of Beam.

“Do you have to drink whenever we talk?”

Brian put down the glass and sat in the chair next to the wall. “What does that mean? I've been drinking for years and I frequently have a drink when we're in our room.”

“This isn't how I imagined this discussion,” Justin said to himself quietly. He took several calming breaths and weighed his next words before he spoke.

“Being a full time father to Gus is a big responsibility. We also should be role models.”

“I'm not fucking giving up alcohol just because Gus is asking to live here.” Brian picked up his glass and took a healthy drink of the liquor.

“Brian, isn't alcohol the cause of our current situation?”

Brian played with his glass of liquor before picking it up, and watched as the amber liquid sloshed in the glass. He put it to his lips and took a small taste of the drink.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes and looked at a point above Justin. “You asked me for a blow job and then... You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were going to die.” Brian got up from the chair and walked back to the liquor cart. “I couldn't stand the thought of you...”

Justin remained seated, talking to Brian's back. “And afterwards... You were drinking to hide your guilt?”

“Your point,” Brian snapped, without turning around.

“I think you use alcohol to escape your problems. It’s an easy way to hide.”

“So, what the fuck are you saying, Justin? You telling me I'm a fucking alcoholic? Wouldn't that be the icing on the cake? Jack and Joan succeeded from their graves. Passing on their alcoholic genes. I'm sure they're fucking smiling--so fucking proud of their son.” Brian poured another shot of Beam and drank it down, again without turning towards Justin.

“Stop! Just fucking stop!” Justin yelled. Walking over to Brian, he got in his face. “Brian if you hadn't tried to drown your feelings instead of facing them, you wouldn't have gotten drunk and subsequently gotten a blow job. Then to add insult to injury, you were so sorry about your fuck up that you continued to drink and hide! Fucking admit it!”

Brian stepped back and looked at Justin's red face,waiting a few moments before responding. “Okay. So you're going to make it a capital crime?”

Justin moved to the bed, sat down and hung his head. “There's a lot of stress in raising a child, even a teenager. I don't want you to start drinking any time Gus does something you don't like or you're stressed by his teenage antics,” Justin said very quietly.

Brian paced the floor in their bedroom for several laps before responding, really listening to Justin's underlying message. “I don't think this is about Gus. Is it?”

“No. It’s about us.”

Brian put down the glass on the table and reached for a new one. He poured some water into it and drank about half the glass. He returned to the chair he was sitting in at the beginning of the conversation and looked at his distraught partner.

“Leave Gus out of the discussion, Justin. This is about my drinking. Right?”

“Yes. I think you hide behind your bottle instead of facing difficult situations.”

“So you telling me I shouldn't drink?”

“No. I just don't want you to drink to hide your demons or to relieve your stress. Talk to me. Talk to Michael. Hell talk to Ted or Emmett or Debbie or the fucking wall. Just stop stuffing your feelings in your bottle of Beam instead of handling them.”

“I'm not a lesbian, Justin.”

“I will attest to that fact, but Brian, everybody has feelings and problems and we all have to deal with them. I'm just asking that you not drown yours in a bottle. Drink because you want to celebrate, have a good time, relax, but not because you're upset or angry or to hide from facing things you don't want to deal with.”

Brian walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Justin. “This is the project you've been researching?”

“Read some on the Net and picked up a few brochures. Then Daphne came over. I knew I was upset with your actions, and I told Daphne that it was okay since you were drunk. She asked me if I was excusing your bad behavior because you were drunk. Her question made me stop and think.” Justin leaned over and kissed Brian softly on the lips. “I love you, but I don't want to get hurt again because of your drinking.”

Brian leaned in and returned the kiss. “You're right. If I hadn't been drunk that night...” Brian kissed Justin's neck and Adam's apple. He took his hand in his and kissed the inside of his wrist as well. “I'll try, Justin. Talking isn't my preferable way to communicate, but I'll try not to put my feelings into my glass.

Justin kissed Brian on the inside of his wrist and placed soft kisses all the way up his arm.

“Will you join me in bed? I've missed you. Is that a sufficient start to talking?” Brian teased.

“Yes and yes. I will join you. Thank you, Brian. I know we can handle this.”

They both took off their clothing and got under the duvet. Justin turned on his side, spooning up to Brian's torso as Brian wrapped one arm around Justin's waist. Brian gently kissed Justin's neck and Justin stretched his neck to give him easier access. Brian moved his hand lower on Justin's torso, rubbing small circles on his stomach. 

“Ahhh, mmm,” Justin sighed in pleasure.

Brian moved his hand lower, grasping Justin's hard cock. Caressing and stroking it, he quickened his movements to match Justin's thrusting. After a few short minutes, Brian felt the familiar warmth run over his fingers as Justin released his cum. Brian took his fingers, placing them in his mouth and licked the cum off of them. 

“Best dessert there is,” he stated, tongue-in-cheek.

Justin turned toward him, moving his hand to reciprocate.

Brian picked up Justin's hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. “That was for you. Now roll over and let's get some sleep. I have to get up early in the morning.”

Justin kissed Brian gently on the lips and turned back around, spooning up to his partner and quickly fell asleep.

TBC


	24. Return to Normal

When Brian hit the alarm button the next morning, Justin pulled the pillow over his head. Brian gave him a kiss on his cheek and then got out of bed. He didn't think he'd be having his normal morning protein snack if Gus was going to arrive at school on time. He wondered if he could convince Justin to come into town later in the day to make up for the missed morning blow job, but realized that even if Justin did come in today, it wouldn't be feasible to do every day. He showered and dressed as quietly as possible.

Walking into the kitchen, he saw Gus eating his toast with peanut butter. Brian nodded at his son and then poured himself some guava juice. When he finished his juice, he prepared his “to go” cup of coffee.

“Hey Dad. Do you think we could get some Quaker Oat Squares? They're pretty easy to eat for breakfast.” Gus looked up as he watched his dad drink the green goo.

“Shit. Make a list of the stuff you like and I'll give it to Rosa.” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose when he realized Gus would need a lot more than just a bed and his clothes.

“Sure. No problem, Dad. Don't worry, peanut butter toast is perfectly acceptable for breakfast.” Gus grinned as he thought of the many varied things he'd eaten for breakfast in recent times when his mothers had forgotten to go to the store.

“I'm just not used to having you here during the week.” Brian placed his empty glass in the dishwasher and eyed Gus in his school clothes.

“Dad, if it’s a big deal, I can go back to living with the moms,” Gus offered as he poured himself some milk.

“Gus, I want you here and so does Justin. It’s just going to be an adjustment. Now, get your stuff for school. We've got to leave now if you're not going to be late, and no Kinney is ever late to a meeting.”

Gus smiled and ran upstairs, gathering his backpack and phone. They drove into town, neither talking during the half hour commute.

As Brian neared Gus' school, he asked, “What time is practice over?”

“Practice goes to 5:00 and then I usually go to the library to study until 7:00. Can you pick me up at 7:00?”

“Sounds good. If you get done earlier or want to study at Kinnetik, call me and I'll come get you. You can work in my office, or there is a spare office next to Ted's that you can use.”

“That'd be great, Dad. Sometimes the library is too quiet,” Gus admitted.

“Okay. Just let me know. I'm still new at this parenting shit.”

Gus rolled his eyes and grabbed his backpack. Opening the door, he leaned over and said,  
“Later, Dad.” He closed the door and walked up the sidewalk to school.

Brian pulled out of the lane, but gave the school a quick look. It didn't seem like it'd been seventeen years since he dropped Justin off at school. That piece of nostalgia made him feel really old. He drove to Kinnetik, parked his car, and walked to the diner. As he entered, he eyed the back booth of the diner and slid in. Ted and Emmett showed up a few minutes later and joined him.

“Morning Brian. Early meeting?” Emmett asked as he turned over his coffee cup.

“Is there a meeting I forgot about, Bri?” Ted questioned Brian, pulling out his Blackberry to look at the recent entries.

“No meetings. Now that Gus is living with us, I have to get him to school. No more late mornings for me.”

Deb walked up, pad in hand and smacked her gum. “I didn't think I'd ever see the day that you would be a full time father. I'm surprised the girls agreed to let Gus live with you.”

“Deal with it. Now, are you going to yap all day or can I order? I do have to work.”

“What'll it be?” Deb responded, getting the message Brian was sending.

“I’ll have an egg white omelet, toast, and coffee.”

“You don't eat enough protein, Brian. You should have some cheese in your omelet.”

“I get plenty of protein.” Brian grinned and nodded to Ted and Emmett.

Deb cackled at the comment as Ted rolled his eyes and Emmett grinned.

“I'll have the pancakes with blueberry syrup and a coffee,” Emmett said as he put the menu back on the rack.

“I'll have oatmeal and an order of bacon. Decaf for me.” Ted ordered.

“Theodore, is that office next to yours still unoccupied?”

Ted put away his Blackberry and looked at Brian, changing to business professional mode “Yes. We talked about putting the new ad exec in there, but he's still in his current office.”

“Don't move him. I told Gus he could have the office to study in after school. Aren’t there a few unfinished spaces at the end of the hall by accounting?”

“There's enough office space to put three people down there.”

“Call John from W&A construction and talk to him about finishing those rooms. Can't have my staff feeling unappreciated.” Brian picked up two sugars and a tub of creamer, placing them in the coffee that Debbie poured when she returned to the table. 

“Sure thing, Bri. Does Gus need anything for the office?”

“Not sure, but I'll tell him to let you or Cynthia know. Get him what he needs--within reason.” He realized this was the second time today that he'd "forgotten" things that Gus would need. He hoped he'd now addressed all the needs of his son, but he also realized that was an impossibility.

Turning toward Emmett, Brian said, “You mentioned a new chocolate torte to Justin the other day. Do you have any of those on hand?”

“Why, yes I do.”

“Good. Ted, go over to Emmett's place and pick up two of them. I'm sure Gus and Justin will enjoy them.”

Deb brought their food before Emmett could reply. The men picked up their forks and immediately ate their food. Deb placed their checks on the table. Brian picked his up, left a generous tip and brought the bill to the counter.

“You take care of Gus and Sunshine. He comes in here about once a week and we talk. Don't think I don't know that he's been staying away from Mel and Lindsey's. I don't know what's going on at the girl's, but let me tell you, I think it’s a good thing he's living with you and Justin.”

Brian looked at Debbie, respectful of his surrogate mother's knowledge and caring. “Yes, Maw.”

He picked up his paper, placed it under his arm and walked back to Kinnetik.

“Brian Kinney, a full-time Dad. He's really thinking of Gus with the office thing,” Emmett commented as Ted finished his coffee.

“Em, remember what I said the other day. Be careful. Brian is just as protective of Gus as he is of Justin. He is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to those two.”

“I know. I'll bring over the torte after lunch. It’s so sweet that he wants them to have the dessert.”

Ted shook his head, placed his tip money on the table, and went up to the cashier to pay his bill.

“Watch him, Ted. He's got a lot on his plate--with Justin still recovering, and now Gus moving in. I don't want to see Brian overwhelmed.” Deb rang up his ticket, then stuck it in the drawer.

“Sure, Deb. I always watch out for him.”

Deb patted his hand. “I know you do, hon.”

Emmett finished his pancakes and left his tip on the table and paid his bill as well.

“Just remember, Brian isn't as tough as he appears. He needs friends too,” Deb informed Emmett.

“I know. Friends are important to us all,” Emmett responded. “Gotta go.”

Deb gave a sigh of relief as she had imparted her wisdom for the day. Her family was okay for now.

 

Justin woke about 10:30, glanced at the clock, groaned, and pulled the pillow over his head. He stayed that way for a few minutes, and then the carbon dioxide was getting to his head and he lifted the pillow. Since he had a shower the night before, he got dressed and went downstairs.

Rosa was in the kitchen, cutting vegetables for their dinner when she saw Justin.

“Morning, Mr. Taylor. Can I fix you something for breakfast?”

“No thanks. I'll just have some cereal. I just called the service and they're picking me up in half an hour.”

Justin ate his cereal and waited for the car service. He directed them to go to Kinnetik. When he entered, he saw Cynthia, who smiled at him.

“He's free. Go on in,” she directed Justin.

Justin opened the door and Brian didn't look up.

“I told you I didn't want to be disturbed!” he bellowed.

Justin walked over to the desk, tapped Brian on the shoulder, and grinned. “I missed my high protein breakfast this morning. I had to come into town and wondered if you'd mind if I had it a little late.

Brian looked up and smirked. “I think that's an excellent idea. It might get my juices moving this morning. They seem to be stalled.”

Justin closed the door and walked back to Brian's desk. Brian stood up, allowing Justin access to his pants. Justin unbuckled them, letting them drop on the floor. Bending down, Justin placed his face in Brian's crotch, inhaling the familiar scent.

“Mmm,” Justin sighed as Brian put his hands through his hair.

Justin mouthed Brian's underwear, teasing his cock into its full erection. Pulling down his underwear, he allowed the trapped cock free. Teasingly, he pushed out his tongue, licking the purple cockhead, and then swallowed it as he swirled his tongue over the mushroom head. Lowering his mouth, he engulfed Brian's 9 ½ inches down to the root. Raising his mouth up, he swirled his tongue along the thick shaft as his hand gripped along the slippery surface. Brian dug his fingers into Justin's hair, urging him on. Justin increased his speed, quickly laving the hard cock as his hand jerked the shaft. The combination quickly brought Brian to the brink.

“Justinnnnn…” he yelled as he shot his cum down Justin's throat.

Justin swallowed all that Brian shot and lapped at his cock, licking it clean.

Standing tall, Justin placed Brian back in his pants. “That should hold me until lunch. Care to join me?”

“I would love to, but unfortunately I have a client meeting.” Brian leaned over to kiss Justin and started to undo his pants, returning the favor. He was quick, bringing Justin off with little effort.

“Seems we both missed our morning high protein breakfast,” Justin teased as he tucked himself back in. “I have to meet Michael to discuss the next issue of Rage, so I better get going. What time will you be home?

“Gus said he'd be done about 5:00 and I think he's coming over here to do some homework after practice. Ted is setting up the extra room next to his for him.” Brian sat down, clicking on the icon to reopen the work he was doing.

“Okay. See you about 7:30. Later.” Justin walked out of Brian's office, smiled at Cynthia, and went to  
Red Cape Comics.

As the bell jangled on the door, Michael looked up. “Justin. I didn't expect you. How are you?” Michael went over to hug his friend.

“The four walls at Britin were closing in on me and I needed something from Brian this morning.” He smirked as he licked his lips. Eying Michael as he walked around the store, he commented, “Those walking casts are great. I remember how mobile Brian was once he got his.”

Michael rolled his eyes as he caught Justin's unsubtle reference. “Having the walking cast is great. In fact, I was getting along so well that Ben and I returned home over the weekend. I love the loft, but it wasn't our home. I'm glad to be back.,” Michael agreed as he rearranged a comic that had been misplaced on the shelf.

“That's great! I'm surprised Brian didn't say anything.” Justin frowned a little at this new piece of information.

“It happened over the weekend. With all the Gus discussion at Ma's yesterday, I guess we forgot to mention it. We asked Ted and Emmett to help us since we knew you guys usually have Gus on the weekends.” Michael went back behind the register to sit on the stool. “You seem to be using your arm pretty well, but I guess you're still not up to drawing Rage yet.”

“I've been doing some drawing, but not the intricate stuff. A few more weeks and I should be good to go.”

“So Gus is living with you two. What the hell happened? I never thought Mel and Linds would go for that.” Michael moved the mouse to bring up the screen again. 

“Yeah. I was certain Brian was going to call us and tell us Linds said he couldn't live with us. He told me that she said some bullshit about raising two kids is expensive and hard. Fuck, Michael! He gives them shitloads of money for Gus, and you guys have J.R. half the time.” Justin frowned deeply at the thinly veiled lament, hoping Michael would see through the guise as he and Brian had.

“You know, J.R. said something about a month ago...”

“What?” Justin picked up a comic book and thumbed through it absentmindedly.

“Nothing specific... Just that Mel and Linds rarely do anything together and they yell a lot.” Michael clicked on the red 'X' closing down the Internet comic he'd been reading when Justin arrived.

“Gus said the same thing. It doesn't matter. Gus is with us, and Brian is a full-time Dad.”

“Bet that puts a crimp in your sex life. You guys have to wait until you get to your bedroom instead of the front foyer,” Michael teased. He sometimes wondered if Justin and Brian still had sex as often as they used to when they first met. Even if Brian was his best friend, there were some things he wouldn't ask, even if he alluded to it frequently. Mystery was sometimes better than reality, 

Justin laughed. “I'm sure we'll manage. After all, we've had him practically every weekend, most school holidays and a quite a few vacations.” Justin sat down in the reading chair at the back of the store. “What were your thoughts for the next issue?”

“I think Rage has a new enemy. Vanilla Queen, her goal is to ensnare him in her clutches and make him do her bidding,” Michael explained.

“Go on...”

Michael followed him to the back of the store and faced the door so he could assist any customers. Few customers came during the week day so he and Justin were free from interruptions for the better part of three hours. They laid out the next story line and Justin eagerly threw in his thoughts and ideas. Justin left when the after school crowd started showing up to buy the new Wolverine issue.

Brian wouldn't be home for at least another three hours, so Justin thought he would stop by Daphne’s office, hoping she was free. She usually stopped seeing patients by 5:00 p.m., and it was already 4:30. 

He flipped out his phone as he walked toward her office. “Jeraldine, it's me, Justin. Does Ms. Chanders have any late patients today?”

“Hello Justin. Let me look.” She viewed the appointment book and reviewed Daphne's private calendar as well. “No. Her last appointment should end at 5:00.”

“I'm on my way. Only tell her I'm coming if she threatens to leave before I get there.”

“Will do.”

Justin called the service and they picked him up within five minutes, and then drove him to Daphne's office. He instructed the driver to pick him up in two hours. He walked into Daphne's office, looking at the clock to see he had five minutes to spare. He picked up a magazine and flipped through it while he waited for her to open the door and let the current patient out. On schedule, at exactly 5:02, she opened the door.

“See you next week. Think about our discussion during the week,” she directed the patient.  
She looked at the lobby to identify her next patient and eyed Justin.

“Justin. What are you doing in the city?”

“I've had a busy day. Went to Kinnetik this morning and then spent the afternoon with Michael, plotting Rage's next nemesis, and now I've come to visit you.” He smiled at his friend.

Daphne walked over to him, giving him a big hug. “Come on in. You hungry? I didn't hear you mention eating in that list of activities.”

“Actually, the only thing I had was a high protein snack,” Justin teased, as he walked in her office. 

Daphne laughed at her friend's joking manner. “You're incorrigible. Burgers or pizza?” She pulled out two take out menus from the drawer in her desk, handing them both to Justin.”

Picking up the menus, he glanced at the offerings. “Rosa's making some chicken thing tonight. It's Gus' favorite and Brian asked her to make it to celebrate his moving in. I don't want to spoil my appetite.”

“I'll order us a pizza. You eat what you want and I'll take the rest home,” she rattled on, before her brain registered Justin's statement. “What did you just say about Gus? When did this happen? How did...”

Justin placed his forefinger to his lips in a shushing motion. “Fine, I'll have some pizza. Brian will kill me if he thinks I haven't eaten all day. Gus moved in officially yesterday; He asked Brian to move in with us, and Brian said yes. Does that answer all your burning questions Dr. Chanders?”

Daphne looked at Justin for a few moments, picked up the phone and dialed. “I'd like a large pepperoni pizza with thick crust delivered to 27 Poplar Avenue, Suite 513... Okay. It will be charged. I'll be waiting for the delivery person.” Turning to Justin, she motioned for him to sit in her conversation area. “Pizza will be here in half an hour. You've got that long to talk. You better start, Mr. Taylor.”

Justin sat in the brown microfiber overstuffed chair. It was so comfortable and he imagined her clients sitting in the chair feeling like they were in their living room rather than talking to a therapist. “It's not that complicated, Daph. It appears the “girls” have made Gus' life pretty miserable for most of the school year. He said they argue all the time about money, cooking, working, etc., and he's been spending most of his time away from home. He finally said something to Brian about it over the weekend, and Brian confronted Lindsay. She all but admitted to things being less than stellar at “Chez Munchers”, and Brian informed her that Gus was coming to live with us.”

“Okay that answers the Gus question, but what about the high protein snack? Don't think I didn't catch that unsubtle reference. You forget, I've known you forever. What did you decide to do? Are you sleeping with him again?” Her eyes bored into him, scrutinizing him for an honest answer, even though she knew that Justin wasn't really capable of lying to her.

“I repeat. Damn, you're good, Daphne. As I said a few days ago, I love him and I can't imagine my life without him. Having said that, I was deeply hurt by his indiscretion, not to mention his drinking. We talked.” Justin avoided direct eye contact with Daphne, choosing to look at his fingers on his injured arm.

“Justin, you cannot leave it at that. Did you discuss his drinking?”

Justin got up to grab a water from the small fridge she kept in the office. He handed one to Daphne, who nodded toward him. He opened the bottle, took several drinks, and then walked around the small office as he began talking again.

“Actually, it was Gus who brought about the discussion.”

“Tell me about this." She bit her lip and frowned, fearing that Justin still had failed to address the important issue of his partner's drinking.

“With Gus living with us full time, I felt that it was a perfect time for me to address his drinking.”

“So you used Gus as an excuse for Brian to stop drinking.” She took a sip of the water and screwed on the cap as she raised her eyebrows in scrutiny.

“When you put it that way...”

“That's pretty shallow, Justin. I thought you were really going to address the issue.”

The buzzer rang, announcing the pizza delivery person. Justin walked to the door, pulled out his credit card and paid. Popping the lid, he inhaled the wonderful aroma. “I'm starving. Got any plates?”

Daphne opened her credenza, pulling out several paper plates and napkins. She helped herself to a slice and put another slice on a plate for Justin. She bit into the pizza. “Mmmm. This is good. I didn't eat lunch either.”

“So how's the anniversary party coming?” Justin asked after he finished half of his slice.

“Uh uh, Justin. Don't think you're going to change subjects on me.” She glared at her best friend with the familiar ‘I am your own worst enemy’ stare.

Justin wiped his hands on the napkin and took another three gulps from the bottled water, finishing the bottle. Using this as an excuse to stand, he walked over to the trash. “Okay. I started with the excuse that he should watch his drinking with Gus living with us. He got pretty defensive at first, but then he's smart and he realized I wasn't talking about Gus.”

“Tell me more,” she encouraged, using her psychologist tone.

“I thought about all you said the other day. I read and reread the brochures that Blake gave me and I did all kinds of research. Yeah, Brian drinks a lot, but the thing is, Daph, he doesn't crave it. Doesn't need it to function. He uses it to drown out his feelings and to hide. Yeah sure, he abuses it--gets drunk... but all the literature state that an addict needs an increasing amount to feel the effect, is dependent--wanting to stop and not being able to... and that isn't Brian. Beam is like soda for Brian. He drinks it like other people drink soda.”

Daphne allowed Justin to finish his defense of Brian before commenting. “Justin, didn't you tell me that it didn't count that he let the guy blow him because he was drunk?”

“Yeah. But that was a one-off. Brian doesn't have blackouts. He always knows what he did when he drinks and...” Justin wished that she had a window for him to look out, instead he walked around the small office and stopped his tracks in front of her many professional texts, pretending to study the titles.

Daphne walked over to her friend and put her arms around him, giving him a gentle hug. “I'm not going to argue with you, Justin. I just don't want you to get hurt.”

“I won't. Brian promised me he wouldn't hide in the bottle any more.” Justin squeezed her arm with his good hand.

“I hope you're right, Justin.”

The clock on the wall chimed 6:30. “The service is picking me up in a few minutes. I gotta go. I'll call soon.” Justin leaned over, giving Daphne a kiss on the cheek and gathered his messenger bag with the notes from his Rage meeting earlier in the day.

He walked out of the building and waited for the service to pick him up.


	25. Chapter 25

Justin returned to Britin at about 7:00. He changed into comfortable sweats and a hoodie, and went to the media room to wait for them to come home. Falling asleep while he waited, he was surprised to be woken by a kiss. Kissing Brian automatically, his hands began to unbutton Brian's shirt and feel his smooth chest.

“As much as I'd love to do this, Justin,” Brian said as he pulled away, “Gus and I are both hungry, and I'm sure if we put food in front of you, you'd eat. Save those thoughts for later.”

Justin heard Brian and his brain shifted from automatic to cognizant. “Sure.” Justin looked around, but didn't see Gus. “Where's Gus?”

“He went upstairs to change. Good thing too, with the way you were shoving your tongue down my throat. ” Brian helped Justin up off the couch and they went to the kitchen to eat.

“Did you finish your homework?” Brian asked his son, stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork.

“Yeah. It was great working in that extra office. Is it going to be available tomorrow? It was awesome not having to wait for a turn on the computer. There are only so many computers at the library and sometimes I have to wait until one is free.”

“It's yours for the asking. Tell Ted or Cynthia if you need anything in there. I was around today, but I'm not always there.”

“Sure.” Gus scooped some mashed potatoes onto his plate and salted them. “What are you two doing tonight? I'm not used to being here on a school night and don't want to interrupt any plans.” 

“Contrary to popular belief, we're just two normal people. We work, come home, eat dinner, and then watch a movie, or sometimes we work after dinner. I do bring work home and sometimes Justin gets inspired and works well into the early morning hours. I got tired of finding him asleep on the floor of his studio--that's why I finally bought him a futon. Sleeping on the floor is only good for kids,” Brian explained as he smiled at Justin.

“You know, Dad, this is not the first time I've been to Britin. I've seen you both work at night and on the weekends. I realize that you try to keep that to a minimum when I'm around. So, I repeat my question, what are you two up to tonight?”

“I talked to Michael today about the new issue of Rage, and I thought about doing some sketching, but that can wait until tomorrow. I'm not itching to pick up my pencils at this point.” Justin pushed his plate back, signaling he was finished with his meal.

“Glad to know that Rage continues to save Gayopolis,” Brian teased. “I don't have any work tonight. I was going to see what was in our Netflix cue. Do you have anything in mind?” Brian picked up his and Justin's plate and brought them to the sink, throwing the scraps in the disposal. He placed the remaining food in containers and put those in the fridge.

Gus brought his own plate to the dishwasher, placing it inside. He grabbed a cloth and wiped the table down.

“Good to see that you have at least picked up some good habits, Gus. I don't like clutter or mess, and the table should always be clean. You never know when you might need it,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

“TMI, Dad. Please don't tell me you two do it on the kitchen table. That's just gross.” Gus grimaced.

Justin smirked as he turned toward the media room. “Adventure or sci-fi?” he called out as he walked away.

“Sci-fi,” Gus answered.

“Classic,” Brian responded.

“Gus and I win out, Brian. Sci-fi it is. I ordered the first two discs of Eureka. Let's watch those.”

They watched two episodes of the hit show and went to bed.

Justin carefully took off his hoodie and sweats, throwing them in the hamper. “So did you enjoy your first day as a full-time Dad?”

Having hung up his jeans and shirt, he padded to the bathroom to complete his evening routine. “It was fine. Why wouldn't it be? I swear everyone thinks this is such a big change. We've had Gus around on weekends and most summers and vacations for years. This isn't any different. You'd think we became instant fathers and had no idea what to do with a 17 year old.”

Justin came up behind Brian, giving him a half-hug. “Just shows you that ‘our family’ worries about you. I'm sure we'll be like all the other parents on the block; loving Gus most of the time and wondering 'how he could be our son because no son of ours would possibly do something so stupid' at least a few times a month.” Justin kissed Brian on the cheek and then started his own routine.

“Up for a nice blow job?” Brian asked, changing the subject.

Justin's cock filled and Brian smiled. “I take that as a yes. Get your sweet bubble butt in here and let's forget about being parents for a little while.”

Justin joined Brian in bed, and they enjoyed each other's bodies as they had done countless times in the past.

The next few weeks continued in a similar fashion, minus Justin's visit to Kinnetik in the morning. Justin sometimes woke up when Brian did, and they shared their high protein breakfast, but more often than not, he slept in while Brian got Gus to school and went to work. He worked on Rage and completed the painting he had started when he had moved out.

***

Justin sat on the doctor's table waiting for the news. The doctor came in, holding a copy of Justin's x-rays. “Everything looks good, Mr. Taylor. I'd like you to go to therapy for a few sessions to strengthen your muscles. They're pretty weak since you haven't used them a lot in the last 6 weeks.”

“That's great news. Do I need to go somewhere special for therapy?”

“We have an excellent department here in the hospital, but if you'd like to use somewhere else, that would be fine as well.”

“Here is fine. My partner was here a few years ago after an accident, and I know Jose. I'd be fine having him as a therapist.”

The doctor wrote out a prescription for therapy, handing it to Justin. “Three weeks of therapy, twice a week should be sufficient. Just remember you will be a little sore when you start to use your arm again. Don't be concerned.”

Justin took the prescription and walked down to Physical Therapy. Seeing Jose in his office, he walked over and knocked on the door.

Jose looked up from his paperwork. “Justin, what are you doing here?”

“You're good. I wasn't certain you would remember me. It's been a while.”

“Of course I remember you, and I couldn't forget your partner, Brian. He's a fiery one, but very gentle with you.”

Justin blushed at the description of them. “My arm's healed and I need some therapy. Do you have a place for me in your schedule?” Justin handed him the prescription.

Jose looked at the piece of paper and nodded his head. “Sure. I've got some time in about half an hour. My patient can't have therapy today.”

“That's great. I'll go get a soda from the cafeteria and I'll be back.”

 

Justin drank his soda and returned for therapy. Afterward, he took the service to Kinnetik.

Cynthia smiled at him when he walked in the building. “He's on a conference call. It'll be about 30 minutes, maybe longer.”

“I'll go see Emmett and come back.”

Walking toward Emmett's, Justin enjoyed the light breeze in the air and the sun on his face. The bell jingled as he walked into the shop.

“Be right with you,” Emmett called out as he placed the last of the cookies on the shelf.

“Take your time, Em. It's just me.”

“Hi! What are you doing in town?” Emmett finished placing the cookies and washed his hands before going around the counter and giving Justin a tentative hug.

“You can safely hug me, Em. I just came from the doctor and he pronounced me fully healed. I can once again enjoy the full benefits of being Brian Kinney's partner.”

Emmett gave Justin a big hug. “Get out. You can't tell me that Brian Kinney, Stud of Liberty Avenue hasn't gotten any since the accident!”

Justin laughed at Emmett's playful tone. “Of course he hasn't gone without, Em. Blow jobs and hand jobs are still sex.”

“Silly me.” Emmett formed his mouth in a big 'O'. “Let me get you a chocolate cookie to celebrate.” He went around the counter, put on his gloves and took a large cookie out, handing it to Justin.

Biting into the cookie, Justin nodded his head as he finished his bite. “Great as always.”

Emmett ushered Justin over to the table, motioning him to sit down. “So, baby, is everything back to normal between you two? No more living in your studio?”

“We're good, Em. Thanks again for being there for me. I hope I didn't put you in an awkward situation.” Justin took another bite of his cookie, savoring the taste.

“Sweetie, you're my friend, and that is what friends do. They help each other. I'd do it for Brian too. Although he would probably grumble more about it.”

“How are you and Drew? Enjoying the off season?” Justin asked knowingly.

'We're planning our summer cruise to Alaska. Drewsie always wanted to go, and I can't wait to see all the bears and moose. We're leaving in three weeks.”

“That's great Em. I wish Brian and I could go somewhere. With our schedules and now Gus living with us, it’s tough to get away. We usually tack on a few days on either side of a business trip,” Justin lamented. “Take lots of pictures. I hear it’s beautiful there. I've got to go. I want to catch Brian before he gets involved in another project.” Justin gave Em a quick kiss on the cheek and left the shop.

Returning to Kinnetik, Justin was motioned toward Brian's office. Opening the door, he smiled at Brian, who returned the greeting.

“I guess things went well at the doctor's?” Brian eyed Justin's body and then walked to the door, closing it.

“Good as new.”

“This calls for a celebration. Gus has his tournament this weekend. What do you say to a little vacation afterwards? He can stay at the house with Rosa and the service can take him to school.”

Justin grabbed Brian, giving him a huge hug. “Wow! I was just telling Em that we never get to go anywhere--just a few days tacked onto a business trip.”

“I do aim to please, especially you. Reservations are made for us starting Monday night. We can leave Monday morning and stay until Wednesday.”

“You had this planned?” Justin gave Brian several quick kisses on his lips, then nuzzled his neck.

“I thought we could use the time together. It's been a rough few months.”

“I love you.” Justin started to unbutton Brian's pants, but Brian stopped him.

“Unfortunately, I have a client coming any minute. Want to meet me at the loft for 'lunch'?”

Shaking his head, Justin frowned. “Can't. I'm meeting Mom for lunch. Haven't seen her in almost three weeks and she's been hounding me. After that, I have to go to the gallery to discuss my next show.”

“Tonight.”

“Don't forget the parent meeting about the sports banquet is tonight.”

“Shit! Remind me why I decided to be a full-time parent?” Brian groused.

Justin smacked his arm playfully. “You love every minute of it and would have gladly had Gus full-time years ago.”

Brian grinned. “Yeah, I would.”

Cynthia's knock on the door interrupted their reminiscing and planning. “Brian, Mr. Shadow is here.”

Brian leaned over to kiss Justin on the lips. “Later.”

“Later.” Justin turned and walked out the door.

 

After the parent meeting, they checked the messages on the machine, looked through the mail, and readied themselves for bed.

Justin pounced on Brian, who was lying on his back in the bed. Kissing his face, he moaned in pleasure. “I didn't think that meeting was ever going to end,” Justin said as he softly bit Brian's lips.

“That is one chore I would have gladly passed up, but I guess being a parent isn't all about the good times.” Brian ran his hands up and down Justin's sides, and then moved them to his ass, kneading the firm flesh.

Justin ground his hips into Brian as he continued to kiss him. “I want you.”

“You sure? “ Brian asked, hesitating just a little.

“Yeah." Justin lay on his back, eyes staring into Brian's face. "I'm ready and.... I know you didn't mean to do it." 

Brian nodded but didn't say anything. He was happy that he and Justin had worked through this rough patch and he knew he still had to use condoms until the next time they were tested. That was punishment enough. Brian reached for the nightstand where they kept the lube, flipping the top and squeezing some on his fingers. Reaching back toward Justin's hole, he slipped one finger in.

“So tight. Wanna fuck you right now.”

Justin sat up, sliding down gently on Brian's cock. Wincing as he was breached, he breathed deeply and embraced the familiar burn mixed with pleasure. He slid up and down the thick cock as he leaned over to kiss Brian. Brian placed his hands on Justin's hips, slowly moving his body in a familiar rhythm.

“Ahhhh,” Justin tightened his ass muscles, giving both men extreme pleasure. “Briannnn,” he called out as he quickened the pace.

Brian yelled out, “Go for it!!” as he pushed his cock into Justin as Justin slammed down.

Justin shot his load, covering his and Brian's torso, and the spasms made Brian come as well.

Afterward, Justin lay down on top of Brian, catching his breath and waiting for his heart rate to return to normal. Easing off of Brian's cock, he padded to the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth. Returning to the bed, he wiped Brian and himself, then threw the wet towel into the bathroom. He pulled up the covers and spooned against Brian. Brian wrapped his arm around Justin's waist, kissed his neck, and breathed in the smell of his partner, falling asleep quickly.

 

Friday night was the first night of the tournament, and as promised, both Brian and Justin were in attendance. Mel and Linds were there to cheer Gus and his teammates as well. Gus' team won.

“That was an awesome goal, Gus. So glad you're on our team,” Harkness said as he slapped Gus on the back.

“Yeah. It was pretty awesome.”

“What’re you doing after the game? Going to join us? We're getting together at Ryan's house to shoot the shit for a while,” MacLeod announced as he dried his face with a towel.

Gus placed his cleats in his bag and saw his mom approaching the team. Walking over to her, he stopped a few feet away. “Don’t come any closer. I reek.”

“You did really well out there. We're proud of you. Don't stay out too late; we expect you home by 12:00. You do have another game in the early afternoon,” she reminded him.

Brian was watching from the sidelines, and when he saw Gus frown and his body become stiff, he walked over toward them.

“Gus, you were great out there. I guess all that practice paid off.” Brian slapped him on the back. Turning toward Lindsay he asked, “Is there something wrong?”

“No. I was just telling Gus that he needed to be home by midnight.”

“What the fuck, Linds? He doesn't live with you anymore. You have no say in this matter.”

“He's my son. You asked for him to live with you until the tournament. That means he comes home.”

Justin had stayed behind when Brian went to talk to Lindsay and Gus, but seeing Brian pinch the bridge of his nose and wrap a protective arm around Gus, he knew something wasn't right. He walked over to the small group.

“... Brian, I didn't say he could live with you forever. This was only supposed to be temporary. Gus, I think you should gather your gear and let's go home.”

Justin stepped into the little group. “Gus, go get your gear. The car's over there.” He pointed to the Saab and watched as Gus gathered his soccer bag.

“Brian... You can't do this,” Lindsay shouted.

Brian ignored Lindsay's tirade and followed Gus and Justin to the car.

The three men got in the car and no one spoke for the first half of the trip.

“Dad,” Gus said tentatively. “I don't want to go back there.”

“Don't worry. You will be staying with me and Justin. At 17, you can choose where you want to live; any court would follow your request..”

Justin turned toward Brian, put his hand on Brian's knee and squeezed it gently. “How do you know so much about the law?”

“I seem to remember another seventeen year old that came to live with me. I did some checking back then. The last thing I needed was to be slapped with a lawsuit--contributing to the delinquency of a minor or some other legal mumbo jumbo. I discovered that at 17, a child could choose where they wanted to live. While you couldn't vote, get married or join the military, you did have some say where you lay your head at night.”

Justin looked at his partner, awe in his eyes. “You did that? For me? Wow! I never knew.”

“Some things you aren't meant to know, Sunshine.” He reached down and squeezed Justin's hand that lay on his thigh. “Gus, if you want to continue to live with us, you can. I suggest you take a nice shower and get some sleep. I have a feeling that your moms are not done with this topic.”

Gus sighed. “I think you're right, Dad. Thanks. Glad you guys could make it to the tournament.”

“I wouldn't have missed it for the world.”

“Me either, even though I'm not actually related to you. You're as much my son as you are Brian's.”

“Just like I consider you my Dad. Thanks Justin.”

They arrived at Britin, Gus showered and then went to his room to play a video game. Brian and Justin went into the media room. Brian went to the liquor cart and poured himself a glass of Beam. Justin watched, but didn't comment. He drank one shot and then poured himself a second, downing that one quickly. He left the glass on the cart and sat next to Justin.

“I saw you watching me with your eagle eyes. I stopped after two drinks, just like I said I would.” Brian kissed Justin softly on the lips. “I'm just so fucking mad at Lindsay. That bitch. Who does she think she is? Telling Gus to grab his gear and go home?”

“Something else is going on, Brian. She was fine with him staying a week and a half ago. What happened?”

“I don't know, Justin, but I think I may have to have a nice little chat with Ms. Peterson after the game tomorrow. She can't keep doing this. It upsets Gus and I won't stand for it.”

Justin leaned into Brian, resting his back to his chest. Brian automatically put his hands under Justin's shirt, caressing his torso.

“Feels nice.”

“Hey Dad! What time do we need to leave tomorrow morning?” Gus yelled down.

Brian took his hands out of Justin's shirt and gently pushed him into a sitting position. “Nine thirty,” he answered back.

“Okay. See you in the morning.”

“Come on, Justin. I think our bed is calling us.”

“I can hear it too.”

TBC.


	26. Chapter 26

“Mom, I'm hungry. Can I have some money to go the snack bar?”

Lindsay opened her purse and dug around, but closed it without pulling out any money. “I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't have any money. I must have forgotten to stop at the ATM.”

J.R. looked at her mom with disdain. “You never have any money! Every time I ask for something you're always going on about how it costs so much.”

Lindsay winced at J.R.'s observance. “It costs a lot of money to raise two children. We just don't have a lot of extra right now. Gus' game is almost over. When we leave here, we'll go straight home and have a big sandwich.”

J. R. stomped her feet in frustration. “Gus doesn't even live with us anymore, so we should have lots of money.” J.R turned quickly and ran toward Brian and Justin before Lindsay knew what was happening.

Lindsay sighed loudly as she watched her daughter, realizing that her secret was about to become public knowledge.

“Hey Uncle Brian,” J.R. said as she hugged her favorite uncle. 

“How are you today? Gus is playing very well. I bet you're proud of him.”

“I'm hungry and Mama doesn't have any money. Can you buy me something from the snack bar?”

“Sure. I bet she forgot to go to the ATM,” Justin said.

“She must forget to go to the ATM a lot. She never has any money.”

“Well, we can't let you go hungry. Let's see what they have at the snack bar.” Justin grabbed J.R.'s hand and they walked over to the concession stand, leaving Brian to talk to Lindsay.

Brian walked over to Lindsay, who was sitting by herself, away from the other parents. “Where's Mel?”

“Working. She's got a big case coming up.”

“I see. Let's take a walk, Linds.” Brian motioned and Lindsay got up to walk with him.

They walked for a few minutes, neither saying anything. “What the fuck is going on? Yesterday you start with Gus, and today J.R. tells me you never have any money.”

“It's expensive raising children.”

Brian didn't respond, just waited for her to continue. He looked at Justin and J.R at the snack bar and saw that they were almost to the front of the line.

Lindsay looked surreptitiously around, making sure that no one was paying any attention to them. “Money is tight right now. I thought that if Gus were living with you, it might improve our situation, but I was wrong.”

“So this is all about money. What the fuck!”

“About ten years ago, Mel and I took out a new mortgage on the house. Things were going well. We both had good jobs and you were helping with Gus' expenses, but it had a balloon payment to it and now it’s due. We're really trying to swing this, but things are tight. Mel is working extra to pick up some additional billable hours, and I've been teaching several classes at the community college...” Lindsay felt her eyes well up and the tears threatened to spill, but she wiped her eyes before they could.

“So you thought you'd pawn your own son to lower your expenses?” Brian hissed at the disgust he felt.

Lindsay shook her head in despair, acknowledging her decision.

“I'm glad Gus isn't here to hear this.” Brian paced back and forth for a few minutes while his mind raced. “How much do you need?”

“$10,000. The balloon payment is $8,500 but we owe a penalty already, and if we don't pay it soon...” she trailed off without finishing her statement.

“Come to the office on Monday. I'll have Ted write you a check. There is a condition with this. Gus stays with me. No arguments. No discussion. No son of mine is going to be used as part of your games. Understood?”

Lindsay wiped her tears and hugged Brian. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Gus. He needs to know that he's wanted. So does that little girl of yours. I suggest you and Mel think long and hard about your parenting decisions.” He turned, not waiting for an answer to his decree. 

Returning to Gus' game, he arrived just in time to see Gus make a goal. His cheers were louder than all the other parents combined. 

“Everything okay?” Justin asked as he looked at the frown on Brian's face.

“Everything is fine. Gus will be going home with us tonight and there won't be any discussion about him returning to the Munchers,” Brian declared as he put his thumb up for Gus to see his approval of his goal.

“That's great news. How'd you manage that?” Justin leaned over and whispered in his ear.

“We'll discuss it later. Right now I want to concentrate on Gus' game.”

After the game, Gus came over to where Brian and Justin were sitting. “Hey Dad. Did you see me make that goal? Wasn't it awesome?” Gus opened the cooler that sat at Justin's feet, grabbing a bottle of Gatorade.

“You were fabulous as always. You're a Kinney after all. Grab your gear, you need to shower and then we have some errands to run.”

Gus frowned. “Ahhh, I was hoping to see Sam this afternoon.”

“He can join us. Tell him to be ready in two hours. That should give us time to go home, shower and come back into town. 

Gus ran toward his friend, Sam and whispered in his ear their plans for the afternoon. Sam grinned and slapped Gus on the back. Gus returned to where Brian and Justin were standing, grabbed his gear and walked with his fathers to their car.

Once seated in the car, Gus asked, “Dad, what kind of errands do we have to run? I didn't think there was anything we had to do today.”

Brian put the key in the ignition and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

“I had a little chat with your mother while you were playing today. We agreed that you will be living with Justin and me permanently. We need to go by the house and get the rest of your things.”

“Brian, that's great. I thought for sure Linds was going to change her mind.” Justin lay his hand on Brian's thigh for support.

“She agreed that it was best for everyone involved to let Gus stay where he is.” Brian turned around and looked at Gus when he stopped at the red light. “Let's say we grab your gear and then Sam can join us for an early dinner. You need to sleep tonight so you can win the tournament tomorrow.”

“That'd be great.” Gus pulled his phone out and texted Sam the plans. A quick bing announced his response. Gus looked at the text and announced, “He can't wait. He always hated going to my house. Said the tension in there was so thick you could cut it with a knife.”

“Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore. The Munchers won't be telling you what to do. I guess that leaves Justin and me for that chore.”

“I always listen to you two, Dad. You guys are great.” Gus smiled his Kinney smile and Justin's heart warmed.

“You're a great kid, Gus. Congrats on the win today. One more game tomorrow and you guys will have made a full sweep.” Justin turned around and high-fived Gus.

“Thanks. I can't believe Mom changed her mind so easily. I know she said I could stay with you guys a few weeks ago, but I really wondered after yesterday when she insisted that I come home. Whatever you said must have been pretty persuasive.” Gus took off his soccer cleats, putting on his sandals. “That feels better.” He wiggled his toes, allowing to stretch unencumbered.

“Don't leave your soccer cleats in the car. I don't want the car smelling like sweat,” Brian reminded him. 

“I thought you like the smell of sweat,” Justin teased.

“Hey guys... impressionable kid in back.”

“Just checking to see if you're paying attention,” Justin kidded.

“Dad, after we pick up my gear, can we go out to dinner? I'd love to hang with Sam for a while.”

“I'm sure that can be arranged. What did you have in mind?”

“Actually, I've been telling him about the diner. He's never been to Liberty Avenue and I thought he'd like the diner.”

Brian groaned. “It's bad enough I have to eat there during the week, but on weekends too.”

“It's okay. We can go somewhere else,” Gus said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Gus, your Dad is just kidding. He can eat anywhere he wants during the weekday, but he chooses to eat at the diner a few times a week. I know he eats his breakfast there most days and hangs out with the guys.”

Gus grinned and bounced in his seat a few times. “This will be so cool. Sam will get to see my old room at the Mom's and then see Britin and get to eat at the diner. Do you think Grandma Debbie will be working? She's been after to me to bring him to meet her.”

“I don't know if she'll be working tonight, but since you're living with us now, I'm sure we can arrange to have Sam go with you to the diner when she is working,” Justin informed him.

“This is so cool. I'm having the best weekend.”

They arrived at Britin, and Gus went upstairs to shower, dropping his soccer uniform in the wash and leaving his cleats in the garage. Brian went into the media room, sitting down on the couch, and Justin joined him. Brian bit a corner of his lip and lay his head back on the cushion of the couch. 

Looking at the exasperation on Brian's face, Justin whispered, “Are you going to tell me what happened at the ball field?”

Brian listened until he heard the shower come on before answering. “Money. It's all about fucking money. The Munchers took out a new mortgage with a balloon payment and it came due, except they didn't have the money to pay it.”

Justin turned toward Brian and gently massaged his temples. “Huh?”

“I stopped giving them money directly when he started high school, agreeing to pay his tuition at St. James. It seems that they were counting on my money for the payment. The money is due and they don't have it.”

“I still don't understand.” Justin leaned over giving Brian a soft kiss on his lips.

“In their 'infinite wisdom'”. Brian made quotations with his fingers. “They figured if Gus wasn't living with them, they could get a few more dollars in their bank account and pay some of the payment.”

“That doesn't make any sense. Gus doesn't cost that much.”

“He eats more than you do and he's always needing something for school. They probably could save a few thousand a month if he lived with me.”

“How awful, pawning your own kid off so you could save a few bucks.” Justin stopped his massage and gave Brian a hug. “So what did you do?”

“I fucking told Lindsay that I would give her the money, but she was not to say another word about Gus returning to their house.”

“Shit. I hope Gus never hears about it.”

“Exactly. I also told her that she should watch her parenting with J.R. I wonder if she would have pawned her off on Michael and Ben.”

“I just can't believe them. There is a silver lining. We get to have Gus live with us.” Justin walked over to the bar and grabbed a water. “Want anything to drink?”

“I'd love a drink, but I don't think you and I are thinking the same kind of drink. A water will do for now.”

Justin grabbed two waters and brought them to the couch. “You're a good man, Brian. Don't forget that.” Justin kissed him and Brian returned the kiss.

As they were kissing, Gus came downstairs. “Cut it out, you two. Please don't embarrass me in front of Sam this afternoon. It's bad enough that you two can't stop joking about your sex life, but do you have to grope each other all the time?”

Brian and Justin pulled apart as they laughed at Gus' indignation.

“We'll try to keep our 'groping' to a minimum. As for our sex talk, we'll try but your Dad has always teased everyone about that area of our life and it will be a hard habit to break.”

“I beg your pardon. You seem to enjoy me hard,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

Gus rolled his eyes at his fathers. “Can we leave now? Sam is waiting and I can't wait to show him everything.

Brian grabbed the keys and they drove into town. They picked up Sam before they went to Mel and Lindsay's house.

“Big guy, you finally get to see my room.” Gus play hit Sam on the shoulder. 

“I didn't think you lived in a cave. Of course, you show it to me now that you're moving out to the middle of nowhere.”

Everyone laughed at Sam's playful banter. “I'm not moving out to nowhere. It's just West Virginia and I'll still be going to school everyday. I bet Dad will let me drive soon and come and get you. You could 'spend a day in the country, getting lots of fresh air and enjoying the grounds',” Gus said in a fake sophisticated voice.

“Geez, Gus. We're just ordinary people, not some rich hoity toity millionaires,” Justin said. “Although... your Dad did say he bought Britin for his prince. So I guess I'm a prince.”

“Dadddd. Tell me you did not say that to Justin. He's pulling my leg, right?”

Brian grinned at the exchange. “Sonny Boy, I hate to break it to you, but Justin's right. I did buy Britin for my prince to show him that I would do anything to prove to him that I loved him.”

“I think I'm going to puke. I can't believe you said that shit to Justin. That sounds like dialogue right out of some romance novel like the girls are always reading at lunchtime.”

“Your Dad can be ridiculously romantic at times. You'd be surprised.”

“Enough, you two. You promised,” Gus reminded them as he turned toward Sam. “So did you see my winning goal? I can't believe Harkness was able to get the ball right to me.”

“Of course I saw your goal. I was watching you the whole time. Love you in your uniform.” Sam leaned over to kiss Gus on the cheek and as he got closer, Gus pulled him in for a mouth kiss. 

“They're way cooler than the Moms about stuff like that. They're two gay men. So come on and kiss me properly,” Gus said softly.

Sam leaned over and kissed Gus and Gus kissed him back, enjoying the dueling tongue of his boyfriend.

“We're here. Stop the tonsil hockey, Gus, and get your ass up to your bedroom. I'd like to have a very short stay in this house and leave as soon as possible.”

“Sure Dad. Come on Sam. You finally get to see my room, but my space at Britin is way cooler.”

Gus and Sam went up to his room and started packing the boxes that Brian had bought on their way over to the house. Justin and Brian followed the young men up the stairs and packed the books and clothing, leaving the knick knacks to Gus and Sam. With the four of them packing, they were able to complete the job in a few hours. They brought the boxes to the car, and when they were putting the last box in the car, Lindsay returned with J.R. 

J.R. raced out of the car to hug her brother. “Mom says you're not going to live here anymore--that you're staying with Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin all the time now. Is that true? Cause if it is, I don't want you to go.”

Gus sat on the curb and motioned for his sister to do the same. He turned toward her and gave her a big hug. “I'll miss you too, but I need to live with my dad and Justin. I'll see you, and maybe Mom and Mama will let you come see me on weekends. I'm sure Dad or Justin will come get you. They're always in the Pitts. You can come see me at Kinnetik too. Maybe Dad will let me drive his car some afternoon to come and pick you up. And of course you can call me anytime you want.”

She nodded her head. “Yeah, but it really sucks that you won't be here. Of course I might see you more now that you're living with Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin. You weren't here a lot these last few months.” She hugged him and the two siblings stood up.

“Okay Dad and Justin. Let's get this show on the road. Can we go to the diner now? I'm starving.”

Brian laughed and Justin grinned at Gus. “Of course you are. You may not be related to Justin by blood, but you sure have his metabolism. He's always hungry. Come on you two, get in the car. The diner is calling us.” Turning toward Justin, Brian lamented, “Fatherhood. Remind me why I thought this was a good idea. My food bill's going to triple.”

Justin rolled his eyes and Sam and Gus laughed at Brian. Brian parked in front of the diner and they all got out to eat.

As they opened the door and the bell jangled, Debbie looked up from the cash register. “Brian. Sunshine! Gus!” She eyed Sam and said, “And you must be Sam. Gus talks about you all the time.” Turning toward Gus, she said, “You're right, he's a cutie. That blond hair and cute bubble butt... reminds me of Justin a little. Guess you Kinney men are attracted to blonds with cute butts.” Waving toward the booth in the back, she told them, “Your booth is empty. Take a seat and I'll be there in a minute to take your order.”

Sam blushed at Debbie's remark. “Is she always like that?”

“That's Grandma Debbie. Tact is not in her vocabulary, but everybody loves her. We better sit down and figure out what to order. The menu is pretty big but I've been looking at it since before I could read, and I could probably quote it in my sleep.”

They sat in the back booth and everyone took out the menu. “I thought you said the menu doesn't change and you knew it by heart?”

“Sure I do, but I still like to look. Sometimes certain things call to me. Be sure to save room for dessert. The diner has the best lemon bars.”

They ordered and their food arrived quickly. Sam and Gus were hungry, as teenage boys always are, and ate without much interruption. Brian and Justin watched the two young men as they ate their meals a little slower. Brian stole a few fries off Justin's plate as Justin conveniently turned his plate to give easy access to the fries.

“Why do you do that, Dad?”

“Do what, Sonny Boy?”

“Eat Justin's fries instead of ordering your own. Everyone knows that you eat Justin's fries and he even turns his plate toward you. It's silly. Why not order your own?”

Justin laughed at Gus' question. “If he ordered them, then he would have to admit that he wanted them. By eating mine, he doesn't have to admit that he's eating them, so it doesn't count.”

“That's just stupid. Dad, I don't understand you sometimes.” Gus returned to his hamburger and ate his fries. 

“Thank you for dinner, Mr. Kinney. It was good.”

Brian nearly choked on the piece of chicken he was chewing. “Do not call me Mr. Kinney,” he brandished. “That is my father!”

Sam looked at Gus for guidance. “What should he call you, Dad?”

Brian thought for a minute and looked toward Justin for guidance. “How about Mr. K and Mr. J. That doesn't sound too old,” Justin said.

“Still too formal, Justin. I'm only Mister when I talk to an intern. I like BK and JT. What do you think, Justin?”

Justin shrugged. “Sounds okay to me. BK and JT it is.”

“Can we go now? The afternoon is burning and I still want to show Sam Britin.”

Brian threw some money down for a generous tip, then took the bill to the counter and paid it. He ordered a dozen lemon bars as well. They returned to the car and Justin held the precious lemon bars on his lap.

They drove to Britin and unloaded the boxes from the car. Brian and Justin took up the clothing and placed the books in the media room. 

“Gus, you're responsible for shelving your books and DVDs by the time the weekend is over,” Brian directed him. 

“No problem. Can Sam help me unload my stuff upstairs or do we have to go back to the city now?”

“You can unload your stuff for two hours, and then we've got to take Sam back. You've got an early game and need your sleep.”

“You sound just like the Moms. I'm seventeen and practically an adult.” Gus reminded them.

Justin laughed and turned toward the media room with Brian close behind. They settled on the couch, with Justin leaning against Brian's chest. “This is really nice being able to lean against you without any barriers.”

Brian nuzzled his neck and kissed him several times on his temple. “Your broken arm was a real pain for both of us. Glad you got rid of your sling. I can't wait to go on our trip.”

“Me too. I'm wiped. Can I close my eyes and take a little nap while Gus and Sam are upstairs?” Justin asked as he felt his eyelids closing.

“I think I'll join you. Let the youngsters play for a while.”

Brian and Justin fell asleep on the couch, and that is where the boys found them several hours later.


	27. Alone at Last

“Hurry up, Justin. We need to be at the airport in forty five minutes, and the car will be here in five minutes.”

Justin came out of their bedroom with his messenger bag draped across his body, pulling his suitcase. 

“I swear you don't look any older than twenty when you're dressed like that.” Brian walked over and gave Justin a kiss on the lips.

Justin smiled. “You keep me that way. Now quit worrying. This is a vacation, a well deserved one, so relax.”

Gus came out of the kitchen as they were waiting for the car service. “You guys have a great time.”

“Listen to Rosa and go to Kinnetik after practice. I've arranged for the service to take you home at 6:30 every day. If you need anything call Emmett, Ted, or Jennifer.”

Gus patted his Dad's shoulder. “Dad, I'm seventeen. I can take care of myself for a few days, and there are so many adults in my life that I always have someone to call. Don't worry. I hear the car service driving up.” Gus gave Brian and Justin a big hug and waved as they drove off.

They settled into the car, Justin leaning on Brian's shoulder. “Thank you for taking me on this trip. It means a lot.”

Brian kissed Justin's head and then leaned him into a sitting position so he could see his face. “You deserve it. You've put up with a lot of shit from me in the last few months and I wanted to spend some time just with you. Let's put all that shit behind us.”

Justin kissed Brian squarely on the lips. “You can be ridiculously romantic and I love you.” Justin lay his back on Brian's shoulder, closing his eyes to nap before their trip. 

When they arrived at the airport, they checked their bags and waited in the VIP lounge until it was time to board. Once settled in first class, Justin looked out the window as he watched the airplane taxi.

“You're just like a kid, looking out the window like it’s your first time flying,” Brian teased.

Justin squeezed Brian's thigh but continued to look out the window. “I find flying fascinating. To think that a plane can lift off the ground, fly at three hundred miles per hour and come down on the ground is pretty amazing.”

Brian waved at the flight attendant to bring him a blanket and a pillow. “I'm going to take a nap. Unlike you, flying doesn't fascinate me. I find the whole thing annoying. Airports, security, checking your bags--I'd rather just arrive at my destination.”

“To each his own.” Justin kissed Brian on the cheek and continued to watch the land as it decreased in size. When he could no longer see any landscape, he got out his pencil and sketch pad and sketched his favorite subject, Brian.

They landed several hours later and were met by a driver holding a sign that said Kinney. Justin pointed at the man. “That must be us.”

The man drove them to the resort about an hour away from the airport. It was secluded and they had their own bungalow. Brian tipped the driver and the bellman as he brought their luggage to the room. Justin walked into the room and went immediately to the bed. 

“Nice. Come join me,” he said, waving to Brian.

Brian unbuttoned his shirt and pants, letting them drop on the floor where he stood. He took off his socks and underwear and joined Justin on the bed. While Brian was undressing, Justin took his clothing off as well.

They kissed, open mouth kisses, their tongues exploring each other's mouths, tasting the unique flavor of the other man. Their hands roamed the familiar flanks and buttocks of the other, alternating between a light touch and digging in to the tender flesh. Their cocks rubbed together, the friction inflaming their desires. 

Justin stopped, pulling away from Brian. “Where's the lube?”

“In my kit. Top of the suitcase. Hurry.”

Justin quickly found the needed item and returned to the bed, interlocking lips and limbs with Brian. The frenzy increased, Justin pushing up into Brian's cock, wanting more. “I want you. Now,” he breathed.

Brian grabbed the lube, flipping the top open and squeezing some of the cold gel on his fingers. They were face to face and Brian lay Justin on his side facing away from him. He spread Justin's ass cheeks, found the pucker and gently placed the gel inside as he slid in one finger. Stretching the tight hole, he placed a second, then third finger in until Justin was fucking his fingers. 

He removed his fingers, and lay Justin on his back. “I want to see you.” He kissed Justin's mouth as he aligned his cock with Justin's hole. Sliding in one push, he heard Justin gasp at the intrusion.

After a few moments, Justin raised up, signaling his readiness for more. Brian started out with a slow rhythm, but it quickly changed to fast, sharp strokes. Justin met his every push with an upward movement, allowing Brian to hit his sweet spot with every stroke. He pulled Brian to him, wrapping his legs around his waist and using his hands to pull tighter. 

“Ahhhh, Briannnnn,” he yelled as his cock shot streams of cum between them.

“Justinnnnn,” Brian called out as he shot into Justin's ass.

They lay there for a few minutes recovering and Justin lowered his legs, allowing Brian to come out of him. 

Brian kissed him softly all over his face. “I always hated that part. My cock leaving your body.”

“Me too.” Justin closed his eyes in contentment and fell asleep, and Brian followed close behind.

They awoke several hours later, sticky and sweaty. Brian got up to use the bathroom and turned on the shower. The noise of the water woke Justin and he joined him for a shower and a quick blow job for both men.

After they dried off, Brian hung the towel on the rack. “I miss our morning showers.”

“I bet you do. Can't get your morning high protein breakfast if you have to take Gus to school. I guess that's the price you pay for being a full-time dad.”

“You should remedy that problem by visiting me at Kinnetik more often. I think better after I've had my morning protein.”

Justin swatted him with his towel before he hung it up. “I bet you think I should do that, but it ain't happening. Artists need their sleep to be creative.” Justin smirked as he made his way to the bed. “You think this place has maid service in the evening? I would love to have fresh sheets.”

Picking up the phone, he dialed. While he waited for someone to answer, he commented, “You've become quite the demanding guest. I've taught you well,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

Brian asked the front desk for maid service and they told him, that someone would be down in half an hour.

“You've got half an hour to give me a blow job before they get here, and then we'll grab some dinner.”

“I live to serve your majesty,” Justin said as he bent down to worship his favorite cock. Inhaling the familiar scent that was Brian, he lapped the shaft and played with his balls, and he licked and sucked the sensitive head. Bringing Brian to orgasm in less than ten minutes was a particular skill Justin had perfected through the years. “My turn after dinner. Your prince requires your services as well.”

“Of course.” Brian pulled Justin up from his knees, kissing him as he tasted himself on Justin's tongue. “Now get dressed. They'll be here any minute.”

They dressed quickly and went down to the bar for an appetizer and a few beers before returning to the room. They continued this routine for the next few days. Sex, shower, sleep and eat, both men enjoying themselves. 

They'd been there for three days and were resting on the bed after a particularly vigorous session when Brian's phone rang. Both men jumped at the unexpected noise.

“Kinney.”

“...Yes. I am.” Brian turned white, the color draining from his face. “Is he okay?”

“... I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm out of town and it will take at least five hours.”

“He's in no critical danger. Can someone else sign for his care?” the voice on the other end of the phone informed Brian.

“Call this number. Ask for Jennifer and she can sign. She has power of attorney.”

Brian hung up, then called the front desk. “This is Mr. Kinney in room 514. I need to check out immediately. Can you have a driver meet us in forty five minutes?”

“Of course. I'll have everything taken care of.” The clerk began locating the necessary paperwork and finalizing the charges.

Brian walked over to the bathroom, turning on the shower and Justin joined him. Brian didn't say anything as he methodically washed himself and Justin. “We have to go. Gus has been in an accident. That was the hospital. I told them to call your mom. Good thing I had those papers drawn up before we left.”

“Oh my God, Brian. What happened?”

“He's been in a car accident. The doctor said it wasn't critical, but...”

Justin kissed Brian on the lips and gave him a big hug. “He'll be okay. He's young and resilient.”

“I never should have left him alone. He hasn't lived with us for very long. He...”

Justin grabbed Brian's shoulders and shook him. “Stop. We can't protect him every time he walks out the door. Let's pack and the car will be here to take us home.”

Brian didn't answer Justin; he just shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel to dry off. After Justin dried off, he gathered their toiletries, placing them in their kits.

Brian put on the first pair of jeans and shirt he could find and went to the phone, attempting to find the quickest way home. While Brian was on the phone, Justin packed their bags. He was glad that they had sent a few packages home yesterday and he didn't have to find room in their suitcases for the presents they had purchased. 

Justin worried about Brian, hoping he didn't use Gus' accident as a catalyst to start drinking again. Things had been going so well and he was so proud of him. He stopped after two drinks when Lindsay pulled her stupid money shit. He was still amazed they thought they could pawn Gus off on them so they could save a few bucks. He knew Brian would be feeling guilty for not being there when Gus was hurt and he wondered if he would ever get Brian to take a vacation again. He chastised himself thinking that these events weren't about him and he wondered, not for the first time, what was wrong with him. He hoped the hospital was right and Gus would be fine. 

He shoved the remainder of their clothes in the suitcase, not caring that they would be wrinkled and all need to be sent to the cleaners. Justin locked the suitcase, put the laptop in the bag, and draped his messenger bag over his torso. Walking over to Brian, he tapped him on the shoulder. “Ready? When's our flight?”

Brian looked at Justin as if he appeared out of thin air, forgetting that he'd been in the room packing their bags. “I was able to get us on the next flight out but it doesn't leave for three hours and we have to make a stop in New York. The next flight out isn't until 5:00 p.m. and I don't want to wait that long. It'd take us over an hour to get to the airport, so we'll have a couple hours to burn. Still, we won't get to the Pitts until close to 6:00 tonight and that's too fucking long.”

“Our bags are packed. I love you.” Justin kissed Brian and gave him a hug, but Brian barely returned the gesture of comfort.

The car was ready when they got to the lobby and the checkout was uncomplicated. The driver put their suitcases in the vehicle and they got into the back seat. Unlike their ride to the resort, Justin didn't lay his head on Brian's shoulder or his lap, but chose to gently squeeze his hand as he looked at the scenery flashing by. Brian allowed Justin to hold his hand, feeling grounded in his support.

"Gus has to be okay. How the fuck did he get into a car accident? The drivers for the car service are excellent. Some stupid shit probably pulled out in front of them." Brian wanted a drink; actually a lot of drinks. He wondered why he had agreed that he wouldn't drink. He needed something to distract him until he could see Gus was safe and sound. Maybe he could convince Justin that drinking would be good for both of them. It would keep him occupied, helping to not drive Justin crazy for the next eight plus hours. He felt like he was crawling out of his skin.

Justin looked at Brian, the tension in his body almost palpable and his heart went out to his partner. 

The car stopped at the airport, letting the men out. The driver unloaded the car and Brian gave him a big tip. After walking to the counter, they checked in and started walking toward the VIP lounge. 

Instead, Justin dragged Brian into the nearest bathroom. Pulling him into a stall, he quickly unbuttoned his pants, pulled them down and went to his knees. He opened his mouth and gave Brian a quick blow job. Brian grabbed Justin's head, encouraging his partner’s actions, forgetting for a few moments his anguish and turmoil. Brian bucked his hips into Justin's eager mouth and Justin sucked harder. Justin recognized the breathy sounds emanating from Brian's mouth and his uncontrolled hip action. Increasing his movements, he quickly brought Brian to orgasm. Justin laved Brian's cock, lightly licking and kissing it. Brian returned to the present and pulled Justin up to kiss him.

“Thanks.” Brian gave Justin a half-smile as he tucked himself back into his pants. “I need a drink. I think the VIP lounge might offer such refreshments,” he commented, half tongue-in-cheek.

Justin didn't comment, just turned and walked out of the stall. Brian followed him a few seconds later. Sitting at the table, they looked at each other, neither saying a word. The waitress came by their table.

“What can I get you gentlemen? We're still serving breakfast for another half an hour.”

“Two shots of Beam for me,” Brian answered.

Justin frowned but didn't comment. “I'll have some orange juice and a cheese omelet. He'll have an egg white omelet and some dry wheat toast along with the two shots of Beam.”

“Coming right up.”

The waitress delivered the food about ten minutes later. Brian pushed the plate away.

“You need to eat. It'll be a long day and you need your energy.”

“Thank you for the Public Service Announcement but I said I wasn't hungry.” He raised his shot of Beam. “This will give me plenty of energy.” He downed the drink quickly and went to pick up the second glass, but Justin put his hand out.

“Brian...”

Brian looked at Justin for the first time all morning. He saw the hurt, the anguish, and the disappointment on his face. He moved his hand away from the glass and placed it on Justin's hand. “Shit. I'm doing it again. It's just...”

“I know.” Justin squeezed Brian's hand. “Eat. Your eggs are getting cold.”

Brian picked up the fork and took a few bites. “Rosa's are better.” He ate most of the omelet.

The waitress came back to give them their bill and take their plates. “Can I get you anything else, gentlemen?”

“I wish you could make time fly, but barring that, no,” Justin remarked as he took out his credit card to pay the bill.

“I'd be rich if I could do that, honey. Usually people want time to stand still and enjoy the moment. Where are you two off to this fine morning?”

Brian frowned, not wanting to make small talk. “We've had a family emergency. Now if you'll just run the credit card, we'd appreciate it,” Justin urged the waitress.

“Sorry to hear that. I'll be right back with your receipt.”

True to her word, she returned quickly and didn't say another word to the men. Brian stared into space, his eyes barely registering their surroundings. Justin watched Brian, feeling helpless.

“I need to do something. Sitting here in this goddamn lounge is not helping,” Brian said in frustration.

“Let's take a walk. It beats sitting here,” Justin suggested.

Brian shrugged but allowed Justin to lead him out of the lounge and through the terminal of the airport. Brian reached in his pocket for his cell phone and flipped it open, checking to see if he'd missed a message or a text. “No one has called.”

“There's probably nothing to call about. I'm sure Gus is fine. The doctor said he was okay,” Justin attempted to reassure him. “I'll call mom. She's probably been busy keeping the family at bay and hasn't had a chance to call us.” He flipped open his phone, pressing the familiar 2 for speed dialing his mom.

“Hello,” Jennifer said as she flipped open her phone, not looking at the caller ID.

“Mom... How's Gus?”

“Hi sweetheart. Where are you? When is your flight coming in? Do we need to send someone to bring you home?”

“Mom... How is Gus?” Justin repeated impatiently.

“He'll be fine. He has a broken arm and some bruising, but nothing serious. I'm glad Brian thought to give me emergency power of attorney, otherwise, he would have to wait until you got here for treatment.”

“Where are you, Mom?”

Brian snatched the phone out of Justin's hand. “Jennifer... What the fuck happened?”

Jennifer didn't answer right away. “What the fuck happened? Can I talk to Gus?”

Brian didn't hear an answer. “Jennifer! Where the fuck is Gus?”

Justin lay a hand on Brian's back, drawing small circles on it, trying to calm him down. 

“Gus went home with Debbie. Mel and Lindsay were trying to take him home with them, but he refused to go.”

“Those cunts. I told Lindsay that he was not ever living with them again. Shit. Why the fuck do these things happen when I'm away?”

Several people in the terminal were starting to stare at Brian as he yelled into the phone. Justin tried to move them to a quieter place. He succeeded in steering Brian to an empty gate lounge. 

“I'm on my way over there now. He's at your home, Brian. They didn't take him back. I stopped and picked up Gus' medicine and I'm on my way to Britin.” She paused for a moment, hoping he was paying enough attention to hear her reassurance.

Brian handed the phone to Justin. “I'll let you talk to Justin.”

“Mom, is Gus okay?”

“Gus is fine. Don't worry. We'll see you two in a few hours. I've got things under control.”

“Thanks, mom. Love you.” The phone went dead and Justin put it away. “Bri.. Gus is in good hands. Deb and mom are taking care of him at our home. They should be boarding in a few minutes. Let's go back to the gate.” Justin placed his hand on the small of Brian's back and they returned to the gate lounge, where the flight attendant was announcing the boarding call for first class passengers.

The two men grabbed their gear from the locker in the lounge, and returned to the gate where they were seated in first class. There were only three other people in first class.

The flight took off shortly after they boarded, and they ignored the in-flight safety discussion. Afterwards, the flight attendant asked if there was anything he could do for them as he eyed both men with an eagerness not lost on either man.

“We'd like to be left alone. If we need anything, and I doubt we will, we'll let you know,” Justin said firmly as he placed the blanket over Brian and himself. Whispering to Brian, he said, “We'll be home soon. Gus is in good hands. Just try to relax.” Justin grabbed Brian's hand under the blanket and held it the entire flight.


	28. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends the story. Thank you for all the great readers who have continued to check in and read the story and give me comments. I appreciate your comments and loyalty. I will be taking a few weeks rest, but assure yourselves I will continue to write in this great fandom.

The driver barely had time to slow the car before Brian opened the door and almost ran into the front door as he fumbled with his key. He unlocked the door, ran up the stairs and made his way to Gus' bedroom without stopping. Opening the door to the bedroom, he was surprised to see the bed empty.

“Gus!” he yelled frantically.

“I'm down here, Dad. In the media room. You ran up the stairs so fast, I didn't have time to say hello.”

Brian made his way down the stairs in almost the same fashion that he made it up the stairs. Entering the media room, he saw Gus propped up on pillows on the couch. He went to sit on the chair by the couch.

“You okay?”

“Sore, but I'm fine.”

Brian got up and went straight to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a shot of Beam. Drinking it down quickly, he poured another and then placed the glass on the cart. Returning to the chair, he took a few breaths as he looked around the room for the first time.

Justin frowned at him, but didn't comment. Deb and Jennifer looked at each other in a knowing glance.

“So... Who's going to tell me what the fuck happened?”

Everyone was silent.

Brian repeated himself as he looked directly at Gus “Who's going to tell me what the fuck happened?”

Gus attempted to sit up a little straighter on the couch, wincing in pain as he moved his arm. “I wrecked the car. It was my fault.”

Brian steeled his voice. “And how did you do this? You were told to take the car service if you needed to go anywhere.”

“I know, but...”

“But what?”

“Sam had a big fight with his parents. He called me early in the morning–said he hadn't slept all night and he asked if he could come here. I knew you would have let him come over if you'd been home, so I told him yes. I didn't want the car service to go pick him up. His parents would have hit the roof, so I went to get him.”

“Where's Sam?” Brian asked.

“Home–with his parents. They came to the hospital and they were furious with him. Said they'd never let him out of the house again.”

“I've got a headache. We'll talk about this later.” Turning toward Justin, Brian stated, “I'm tired. I'm going to lie down. Want to join me?”

Justin got up, walked over to Gus and kissed him on the forehead. “Glad you're okay.”

Gus smiled a half smile. “Will you talk to him, Justin? I recognize that Kinney face.”

“Yes, but you screwed up.”

“I know.” Gus scooted down in his pillows, closed his eyes and attempted to sleep.

Brian walked up the stairs very slowly as if he was much older than his 46 years. Justin followed close behind. Brian opened the door to their bedroom, sitting in the chair by the window. Justin joined him.

He closed his eyes as he massaged the bridge of his nose. “I don't think I'm cut out to be a parent. What the fuck was he doing picking up some kid? Maybe Linds was right all along.”

Justin walked over to Brian, massaged his temples and gave him a few kisses on his forehead. “You're a great Dad. Never doubt that. Kids do stupid things. Besides, if you have Gus go back to Mel and Linds, then you'll be no different than them, giving him away at the first sign of trouble.”

“Fuck! You're right. I need a drink.” Brian got up, moving toward the liquor cart in their bedroom. Reaching out for the bottle, he stopped himself before he poured the drink. He turned around and walked back to the chair.

“Brian,” Justin whispered.

“I said I'd try.”

“Fuck! I need a blow job.” He unbuttoned his shirt, dropped his pants and climbed up on their bed.

Justin smiled, undressed and joined him, fulfilling Brian's wish. “Justinnnnn,” Brian yelled as he came several minutes later.

Justin licked his lips, tasting Brian's cum. He rolled over on his back where Brian leaned over and returned the favor. Brian pulled his arm around Justin and they both fell asleep.

It was dark outside when they woke. Justin went into the bathroom, turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up. Brian walked up behind Justin, placing his chin on Justin's shoulder. He moved his hands up and down Justin's flanks, signaling his interest in his partner.

Justin pushed back into Brian, his ass grinding on Brian's cock. Brian kissed Justin's cheek and neck as he fondled his cock. After a few minutes, he moved his hand to Justin's ass, spread the cheeks and pushed inside.

“Uhh,” Justin grunted at the intrusion but pushed back, demonstrating his readiness. Brian grabbed Justin's cock, milking it in time with his thrusts. The water beat down on them as they raced to the finish. 

“I love you,” Justin murmured as he leaned his head back against Brian's chest. “We really should check on Gus.” Justin turned and picked up the soap to wash himself.

“Shit. You're right. Turn around and I'll do your hair.” Brian picked up the shampoo bottle and poured a small amount into his hand. He washed Justin's hair as Justin washed his body. They were efficient at their cleaning, not lingering to enjoy each other's bodies. Brian turned off the water, gave Justin a quick kiss and stepped out of the shower, where he grabbed a towel from the warming rack. Justin stepped out and grabbed his own towel, drying his body quickly. They hung the towels to dry, returning to their bedroom.

“What the fuck was he thinking? Driving to go pick up some kid,” Brian groused as he pulled on a pair of underwear.

“That's just it, Bri... he was only thinking like his Dad. Sam needed help and asked Gus... therefore Gus helped. You did the same thing with my parents. Taking me out of their house when my Dad would only let me live there if I gave up “my disgusting lifestyle”. Justin pulled out a pair of underwear and cargo pants from his drawer.

Brian grinned at the comparison. He grabbed a pair of jeans, pulling them on and picking a casual shirt out of the closet. “I guess I did rescue you, but your father is an asshole.”

“Yeah, but we're not talking about him. Seems we've had this conversation before.” He pulled on a hoodie and socks. “I'm hungry. I'll see what Rosa has in the fridge.”

“A turkey sandwich or salad is fine, nothing heavy.”

Justin kissed Brian on the lips, then opened the bedroom door. He went down the stairs and stopped in the media room to talk to Gus.

Noticing the noise, Gus turned toward the stairs. “Hey Justin. Did you talk to him? Am I going to be grounded for like forever?” Gus frowned at the thought.

“Yeah, we talked, but I think the three of us need to talk. I'm getting us something to eat. Want anything?”

“No. I'm good. You've got me worried.”

“Gus...” Justin started to talk, but stopped. “We need to wait for your Dad.” Justin turned and went into the kitchen, where he found his mom, Debbie, and Rosa.

“What's there to eat, Rosa? I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starving.” Justin opened the fridge, looking inside for food.

“Bout time you two graced us with your presence. Couldn't keep your hands off each other long enough to be with Gus. Shame on you!” Debbie chastised Justin.

Brian walked into the room, hearing her tirade. “I came home as fast as I could, checked on my son, saw he was in no danger and went to rest. He wasn't going to die while I slept. Not that I owe you any explanation for my actions. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm hungry and you're in my way.” He walked toward the fridge where Debbie was standing and she moved away.

“Asshole!”

Brian smiled at the familiar name but didn't respond to her. “Thank you, Jennifer, for going to the hospital.” He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“That's what grandmothers are for. I would do the same for Justin or Molly.” She smiled and gave Justin a quick peck on the cheek.

“Thanks, Mom. We're good here if you want to go home. I'm sure it’s been a long day for you.”

“I think I will leave. I can't wait to hear about your trip, but I'm sure that can wait. I understand the Turks and Caicos are beautiful.”

Justin gave his mother a hug and walked her to the door, leaving Brian and Debbie in the kitchen.

“Aren't you going to leave too?” Brian asked.

“You take care of my grandson. He's had a big shakeup and...”

“Yes, Maw. I think I can handle that one. Seems to me Justin had a broken arm not that long ago.”

“Oh… I forgot.” Deb admitted.

“I haven't. Now go. We'll see you in a few days.” He walked her to the door as well and she gave him a big kiss on the cheek, which she immediately tried to wipe off, but was only partially successful.

Justin watched the familiar exchange and smiled. “Admit it Brian, if Deb wasn't chewing your ass, you'd think something was wrong.”

Brian smirked and semi-leered at Justin. “Don't mention asses unless you're willing to offer yours here and now.”

“Briannnn.”

“I thought so. Let's finish that snack and go talk to Gus.” They gathered their food and went into the media room. Brian sat in one easy chair and Justin sat in the other.

“How was your trip?” Gus asked, trying to avoid the inevitable.

“Very relaxing. It was good to get away. I would have preferred to not end it with a phone call from Allegheny General.”

“Sorry.” Gus looked down rather than at Brian.

“Sorry's bullshit.”

“But, I am sorry. I didn't mean to...”

“We know, Gus. What your father is trying to say is that sorry doesn't change the facts. You may be sorry that you took the car without permission, but it doesn't change the fact that you wrecked it and now have a broken arm. Not to mention that your little rescue mission was totally aborted and Sam is back home with his parents and not allowed to see you.” Justin took a bite of reheated pizza and put down his plate to take a drink of Coke.

“I get it. I guess this ends my season. Can't really play with a broken arm. Shit! I was hoping to be noticed by some scouts.” He raised his arm, showing his cast.

“Lucky for you, that's not your only way to pay for school,” Brian stated.

“You're being very calm, Dad. I know you're thinking up some grand punishment.”

“Not really. I think the broken arm and the loss of your soccer season is a good start. That broken arm can be a real pain; ask Justin.”

Gus frowned. “Shit. I can't shower by myself. Does that mean one of you is going to help me for the next six weeks?” Gus looked horrified by the prospect.

Justin laughed. “No, Gus. We can wrap your arm in plastic and put a garbage bag over it to keep it dry. It should work just fine. We can wash your hair in the sink.”

“But...” Gus stopped his answer as awareness hit him in the head. “Oh, never mind.”

“I told you I raised a smart son,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek to Justin.

“That's it?” Gus asked hopefully.

“I think not, Sonny Boy. The car is heavily damaged and insurance will pay to fix it, but I think you will pay the deductible. We'll be giving you additional jobs around Britin, and maybe you should think about getting a real job once your arm is healed. ‘Bout time you earned your keep.”

Gus swallowed hard, but shook his head in agreement. “Okay. That's fair.” He was quiet for a few moments and then added, “Dad... will you ever let me drive again?”

“We'll talk about that later.” Brian finished his sandwich and grabbed his and Justin's plates, taking them to the kitchen.

“Thanks Justin.”

“For what?”

“Talking to him. I'm sure what he originally planned was a much worse punishment.”

“Gus, I didn't talk to him about it. I just got him to calm down.”

“Thanks anyway. You're the reasonable one. Dad can get very excited sometimes and goes overboard. I'm glad you're here to help him.”

Justin smiled at Gus' observation. “We're a team, Gus. That's what partners are, a team.” Justin picked up the pain pill bottle and read the instructions. “Want another one? You seem to be squirming a lot.”

“Yeah. That'd be great. The arm is starting to throb.”

Justin grabbed a glass of water and a pill, giving both to Gus. “Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure. Mummy 3 just came out and I didn't get a chance to see it in the theater.”

Justin put the DVD in the player and waited for Brian to return from the kitchen. “We're going to watch Mummy 3. Want to join us?”

“Sure. Mummies walking, talking and killing. Just my type of fun.”

They watched the movie, but Gus was out an hour into the movie. Brian shut it off and placed a light cover over him.

“I'll grab some blankets and make a pallet on the floor, in case he wakes up and needs something.”

“Your back will be killing you tomorrow.”

“Nah. I bought a blow up mattress a few months back and I'll sleep on it.”

“I'll join you.”

“You sure? Your arm is still a little stiff in the morning.”

“I'll be fine. Besides, you make a great pillow.”

They went upstairs to gather their bedding and prepared the pallet on the floor. They undressed to their underwear and got under the covers.

Justin turned toward Brian, lying on his side. “You did great today with Gus.”

“I try.”

“You're a great dad.”

“It's been a long day and I'm beat. His arm will probably hurt like a bitch tomorrow and he'll be cranky. Tell me how great a dad I am then, when I want to strangle him.”

Justin laughed. “It'll be fine. You'll see.” Justin kissed him and then they fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

Epilogue

Justin walked out of his studio and was greeted by a blast of very cold air. Practically running to the main house, he rushed into the kitchen, blowing on his hands. “Hey Rosa. Smells great.” he inhaled the familiar aromas that emanated from the oven.

“I'm making Mr. Kinney's favorite–chicken with roasted red peppers and pine nuts. It's nearly lunch time and I've got a pot of stew that's been cooking all morning. I'll dish some up for you.” She went to the cupboard, getting down a large soup bowl.

“Thanks,” Justin answered as his stomach growled.

“You'd forget to eat, Mr. Taylor. I'm glad I'm here to feed you. You and Mr. Kinney would starve without me.”

The phone rang as he was about to respond.

“Hello.”

“...Hi Michael.”

“Are you busy?”

“No. I'm taking a break. Rosa's got a big pot of stew cooking and she's pouring me a bowl now.”

“I just got off the phone with the Comic Con organizers. They were calling to ask us back. Seems they noticed we didn't sign up and they said we were a big hit last year, so wanted us back.”

Justin was silent on the other end of the phone.

“You there?”

“I'm here.”

“Well. We had a great time and it was loads of fun. Should I tell them yes? I told them I'd call them back as soon as possible.”

Justin took a big sigh. “I don't know Michael. Brian still has issues with the accident. I don't know if that's a good idea.”

“I'll talk to him if you want. It would be a great way to push the new issue, and the action figures of Ice Tina and Rage and JT in their wedding costumes are coming out soon,” Michael urged as he reminded him of their joint venture.

“No. I'll talk to him. I was planning on going into town this afternoon. I'll go after lunch and talk to him today. I'll let you know by the end of the week.”

“Okay. Think about, Justin. It was a blast last year. Talk to you in a few days.”

Justin hung up the phone, sat at the table and put his head in his hands. “Shit!” he said under his breath.

Rosa placed the bowl of stew in front of him. “Is something wrong Mr. Taylor? You don't look too well.”

“I'm fine.” He ate a few bites of stew, before pushing the bowl away. “I have to go into town.” Justin stood up and walked upstairs.

He took off his paint-splattered clothes and put on a blue sweater, one that Brian had recently purchased. That had been a fun shopping trip. Brian had practically fucked him in every changing room saying Justin was irresistible. He didn't want to trick him into saying yes, but the sweater might be a good distraction.

Justin drove the new Saab towards Pittsburgh while he listened to Queen. He sang along with the CD while he parked in the garage. He entered the lobby and went to the executive area, where he was greeted by Cynthia.

“Hi Justin. Was Brian expecting you?”

“No. I was in town and decided to stop by. Is he free?”

“You have great timing. He just finished a meeting and his next one isn't for another hour and a half.”

“Thanks.” Justin opened the door to Brian's office and walked over to his partner, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey. Did I forget an appointment? I didn't think we had anything scheduled?”

“No, you're not going senile yet. I had to run into the city and decided to stop by.”

Brian looked at Justin, taking in his less than casual dress and motioned for him to it on the couch. “Spill.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“Not really. I just know you really, really well and I recognize that sweater. I know you and you were subconsciously trying to distract me.”

Justin gave him a knowing smile.

“So spill,” Brian repeated. “The sooner you tell me the reason for the visit, the sooner I can fuck your brains out. After all, I wouldn't want the sweater to be wasted,” he said, tongue-in-cheek.

Justin took a deep breath and started his explanation. “Michael called.”

“He does that. It’s a way to communicate.”

“Brian…”

“Go on.”

“He got a call from Comic Con and they want us back. I told him I didn't know. Last year and the--”

“Accident. It’s called an accident, Justin. Something unplanned.”

“I--”

“Justin.” Brian walked over to the couch and sat next to Justin, taking his head in his hand and turning it toward him. “The accident wasn't all bad. There were some good things that came from it.”

“Good things?” Justin looked puzzled.

“Yeah. While my infidelity was not a good thing,” Brian put his finger to his lips to stop Justin from interrupting, “It led to some good things. I still drink, but for the most part I don't drown my feelings in a bottle. We’ve got Gus full time, and I know that wasn't due to the accident, but I doubt that the Munchers would have kept their part of the bargain if I was still tying one on regularly.”

“Okay. There were some good things that happened, but still.”

“Justin. Life happens. You either live it or run from it. I'd been running from it for a long time. The accident made me realize that I wanted to live it. I'll always be sorry that I hurt you and that I...”

“It’s okay. You don't need to say it.” Justin kissed him softly on the lips.

Brian returned the kiss and they spent a few minutes enjoying each other. Brian broke the kiss and pulled away. “Do you want to work the Con?”

“I hadn't really thought about it, Brian. I just assumed...”

“You know that when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

“I know. I'd rather have you in my ass.”

“In a minute.”

“Stop the presses. Brian Kinney turns down sex.”

Brian swatted Justin on the arm. “I didn't turn it down, rather, I postponed it. Now... as I was saying. What do you want to do? I'm okay with whatever you want.”

“It was a lot of fun. All those fans, asking for my autograph. But then, it was a lot of work too, getting all those prints made and materials ready.”

“I can see in your eyes that you want to say yes.”

“I guess so. I'd like to go.”

“Then we'll go and I'll get your milk the night before. Now drop your pants and turn around. Your ass is mine. I don't have another appointment for 15 minutes.”

Justin dropped his pants and enjoyed the quickie in Brian's office. A knock on the door interrupted their post-coital kissing.

“Yeah,” Brian yelled out.

“Mr. Shadow is here to see you.”

“Tell him I'll be about 15 minutes.” Brian turned to Justin. “Come on. I can't have you walking around town smelling of eau de Kinney. Good thing I had the executive washroom made with a shower.”

They showered quickly and Brian blow dried his hair. He redressed in his suit and no one would have known that 30 minutes earlier he had his dick buried in Justin's ass. He gave Justin a quick kiss.

“Call Mikey. He'll be on pins and needles all day until you give him the green light. Now go, I have a business to run.”

Justin went out the back entrance and walked to Red Cape Comics. The bell jingled and Michael looked up from the counter, where he was reading some invoices.

“Hey, Justin. I didn't expect to see you.”

“I told you I was coming into town this afternoon. I stopped to talk to Brian. We decided to do the Con. Tell them ‘yes’.”

Michael came around the counter and gave Justin a big hug. “That's great! It'll be fun.”

Three weeks later, they attended the Con and were met with long lines of fans wanting autographs and pictures. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

Afterward, they made their way out to the car and Justin opened the car door, placing the last box on the seat. “I'm glad we came. It was fun. Some of those people really get into the whole comic thing.”

“Of course they do. They need a role model and Rage is a great one. What do you think about the next issue being about our accident last year?”

Justin looked at Brian and Brian looked at Justin with a pained face. “No,” they said in unison. “We've moved on from that.”

“But it would make a great story. Rage gives his lair to Zephyr and the professor while Zephyr is healing, and Rage helps JT with his recovery.”

“No,” they repeated, more emphatically.

“I don't want to relive that time. Sorry Michael,” Justin added.

Looking at the two faces, he realized that he was missing something, but knew not to push. “Okay. I'm sure we'll think of something else.”

The three friends drove home from the Con and returned home… safe and sound.

The End.


End file.
